Diamond Ninja Force Hd Mp4 Download
We begin with Shô Kosugi demonstrating the use of a katana, saying nothing about the film he is introducing. When Gordon is taking his girlfriend's picture in Hong Kong, several Caucasian thugs led by a Chinese man, Kogan, threaten her, so he beats them up. Elsewhere, Bernard Wong pays his workers extra money to continue digging his land after discovering human bones. The thugs are members of the Black Ninja Clan, whose dead are buried on Wong's site. One of their operatives strangles Gordon's girlfriend, believing she knows where Gordon has hidden the Golden Ninja statue that apparently gives him power and won't say, while another hires Ghost Ninja, a beautiful witch dressed in white to kill Wong, his daughter Fanny, her husband George, and her son, Bobo, for three million dollars. Fanny is frightened by a cat in the house upon move-in, and the Black Ninja leader keeps swing her sword to hallucinate frogs jumping to their deaths out of her refrigerator and her soup ladle turning into a flying snake (strung on a wire that is highly visible without pausing despite being a split-second shot). The witch keeps spooking Fanny and Bobo, who insists on riding his bike in the living room, but George doesn't believe either of them. Gordon (sitting in front of a poster of a strangled woman marked "this could happen to you" and another poster of a swimsuit model) responds to their complaints (in shot-reverse shot, as they're obviously not in the same film) and commands Magic Chan, a wizard with a magic mirror he has forgotten, and his obese sidekick, Firecracker, in the same manor, and frequently keeps in touch on the phone after his Caucasian operative living next door, Sara, is murdered by a zombie man. Sometimes he uses a black phone, but more often it is a Garfield phone (which the camera moves and music suggest is supposed to be funny). The Ghost Ninja is more interested in her own desires than killing the family, and masturbates to the couple's lovemaking before spiriting herself into Fanny's vagina (there is no full-frontal nudity) in order to lure George away from her, though she makes him physically ill, as she did to Bobo by stuffing his mouth full of handfuls of grass. The Ghost Ninja, once compelled by the Black Ninja leader, calls upon more women like dressed her, plus one impersonating Bobo's grandmother as a lure for him, and the zombie man, in an all-out assault against the family, while the two bumbling idiots (Firecracker and Magic Chan) are having a drinking contest, and Gordon, in a red ninja suit, who has been offing the Caucasian ninjas, prepares to confront Kogan, the Black Ninja leader. Ninja Master Gordon (Harrison) is a cool dude who just wants to go around Hong Kong taking pictures of his girlfriend Lori (Francesca). But oh no. When an excavation on a building site reveals some bones and human remains, naturally a sinister gang of evil ninjas called the Black Ninja Clan see this as an opening to reassert their dominance, which they believe has only been impeded by good ninjas, called the Diamond Ninja Force. When members of the Black Ninja Clan murder Lori, Gordon dons his red ninja outfit and starts getting revenge one by one. Meanwhile, a family consisting of a father named George, a mother named Fanny and a son named Bobo move into a house. Because the house's original owner had some connection to the site where the bones were discovered, all manner of scary trickery is employed to frighten the family. Will the Black Ninja Clan end up ruling the world as they so desperately want? Will Bobo and his family ever move out of the haunted house? Will Gordon get revenge? All questions should be answered by the DIAMOND NINJA FORCE...<br/><br/>It's another work of genius (????) by the master of nonsensical entertainment, Godfrey Ho. We keep going back to Ho's work because his movies, if nothing else, are original. No one else in the world makes movies like him. He provides a unique form of entertainment that only he seems to understand. Once you get used to his filmmaking style, you want more. Much like how, with Pringles potato chips, once you pop, you can't stop, here it's once you Ho, you can't...go? Well anyway you get the idea. Diamond Ninja Force is more silly fun, with all the loud, crazy dubbing, and nutty goings-on that we've all come to know and love. Do the people reading the dubbed dialogue think it makes sense? Or do they know it's crazy? Do lines like "There are no such things as ghosts. Only ghost ninjas" seem at all normal to anyone? Regardless, we should be happy no one raised any objections, because if it's zany entertainment you seek, look no further.<br/><br/>Much like how Ninja Brothers of Blood (1988) was one-half ninja outing and one-half romantic drama, here we half a half-and-half combo of ninja-based revenge and Poltergeist (1982) or Amityville Horror (1979)-inspired supernatural haunted house hoo-hah. Harrison's enemies during his plot line are great. There's nothing more intimidating than a tubby Caucasian "ninja" prancing about on roller skates. Every single time Harrison dispatches one of the baddies, he pulls down the piece of cloth on his mask that covers the lower half of his nose and his mouth. Every time. Even after he has killed many people. Are we supposed to still be surprised it was him? Or maybe he's just trying to show that his mustache has, and always will have, dominance over theirs. Also you know Harrison is going into "ninja revenge mode" when he puts on guy-liner. So we can see his eyes are all done up anyway.<br/><br/>Other people out there have mentioned Harrison's Garfield phone, but it's so cool: when the receiver is off the hook, his eyes open, and when the receiver is put back, they close again! Though it is somewhat incongruous when Harrison says angry threats using part of Garfield to relay the message. When he says, using the Garfield phone, "you're on my death list", does that mean he's going to kick them off the table like Garfield did to Odie? On the soundtrack front, there are more wonderfully blatant steals from popular songs - this time around musical cues are stolen from The Who's "Who Are You" and Kraftwerk's "Trans Europe Express". When the opening bars to what you think are these songs start playing either while Harrison is ninja-ing it up or a family is dealing with a haunted house, you know you're dealing with something special.<br/><br/>While some prints are said to have an unrelated Sho Kosugi opening, many don't. The version titled Ghost Ninja certainly doesn't. Even though he was top billed on the artwork, we can safely say he was a no-Sho. We were disappointed, so avoid the version by that title. But even without the Sho intro, the movie does get off to a pumped-up opening, and takes you on another ridiculous ride as only Godfrey Ho can. Whether that's your cup of tea, only you can judge. But if you're anti-Ho, you're missing out, as far as we're concerned. Virtuous white ninja Gordon (the ever suave Richard Harrison) vows revenge on the evil Kogan (outrageously overplayed with eye-rolling hammy brio by Tao Chiang) and his no-count squad of nasty black ninjas after they murder his sweet girlfriend Lori (the lovely Maria Francesca in a too brief cameo). Meanwhile, Kogan enlists the aid of a wicked witch to conjure up spirits in order to get a family out of a house on a patch of land with a secret treasure hidden on it. Writer/director Godfrey Ho delivers an undeniably clumsy, incoherent and nonsensical, yet often sidesplitting and hence hugely entertaining blend of martial arts and supernatural elements into a gloriously ludicrous cinematic hodgepodge that comes complete with lousy dubbing, plain cinematography by Raymond Chang, a frantic nonstop pace, hysterically inept fight scenes, some tasty gratuitous female nudity, a smidgen of soft-core sex (a hot amorous ghost lady seduces a guy while he's sleeping in bed with his wife!), campy bad guys, cheesy (not so) special effects, a funky, syncopated discoid score, and an annoying little boy named Bobo. Moreover, we also get such choice gut-busting moments as a severed head in a basket and the ghost girl masturbating as she watches the guy make love to his wife. Yeah, this flick is by no means a refined work of subtle and sophisticated celluloid art, but it does possess a certain loopy charm and wiggy energy which makes it a lot of fun to watch. A deliciously crummy schlock riot.
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