+The text below forms the beginnings of my stories and novel.
+October is my month of reflection. It started with what I hope to be the beginning of a whole series of epic trips. I rode a train from Toronto to Vancouver. It took three days and 11 hours (83 hours total) to travel 4466 km.
+I met a lot of great people on the train, and I really like this one woman who left in Saskatoon. I am writing a story about this trip and hopefully submit it to the CBC Story contest due Nov 1st.
+I have 2 stories I'm contemplating
+2) the written analogue of my "For the Love of a Library" talk given at oise.
+each submission is 25, so my outlay will be 50 bux. Not too bad for a first try.each submission is 25, so my outlay will be 50 bux. Not too bad for a first try.
+This morning dale spoke of social justice from the angle of food security, hunger, and the experiencing hunger in the philippines when he travelled there with marlene 20 years ago. I also feel existential hunger , the need for some meaning in my life. I know what that feels like, but have not a clue what physical hunger feels like. For Dale, hunger came at the second day on a eleven day trip into the zone torn apart by governmental strife and warlords. He and Marlene at rice and salt, and from what he said, it gave him a new understanding of what it means to go hungry - by the second day he started feeling hungry, by day 4, he was constantly hungry, by day 8 he could no longer rememeber what happended days 8-11, or how he got through it all. That's an amazing story, and inspired me a lot. I started thinking about my never realized plans to travel to Africa. I should go and see what it's like. To live and drink and talk with people I've never seen before.
+ And return to Toronto when I am done.
+I have chosen Eastminster as my home base. I write here.
+Saturday Oct 15 I had my choral debut with the Eastminster Choir. We dressed up, got on a bus, got dressing rooms at the theatre, run technical dress rehersals, (i) tripped an fell on the stage stairs, and we opened our mouths, lungs,hearts, and mind to sing for a paying audience.
+It was a great experience - we had a good start with our first piece - missa gaia, but toward the second portion, I got tired, and my attention wasn't 100% there - instead, I started ghostwriting my story while I was singing - not a very good performer am i ? but here is what I wrote
+I am put here in the midst of these people (who are not my age group) to have a chance to observe and see what loving relationships look like. I've had an extremely sheltered upbringing. My parents were not the most loving toward each other, and past age 10 have never seen my mom and dad express love and intimacy toward one another (it was difficult 1) becase they were 4000 km apart, and 2) they didn't really love each other) - as a result I have a lot of experience in loveless relationships without any intimacy. In my own life, I am that way as well - it's really difficult to get to know me on an intimatelevel, as I know how to keep people out (my parents are great teachers in that regard) - but never really saw what an open loving relationship looks like.
+So this is my chance to see a lot of married couples, both younger and older than me - to see who they are and how they act toward one another. I saw people who treasured each touch, each moment of love - never taking each other for granted. Each moment with the person you love is a precious time in and of its own. You never know when these times will end, and it's important to know that - both in your mind and in your heart. and to express that, the gratitude and the love for each other.
+M is in love with D - anyone can see it - it shows in their eyes, it shows in how they act toward one another - movement in one turns into a movement in two - in unison, but separate and distinct, but experessing the same tenors and signaling to the world the one truth that they both share - they are in love with one another and they hold onto this love with all the grip they have on reality - this is the reality that matters and they invest time, energy, effort, feeling, emotion, thought, passion into it - to stay in love no matter what - to create and invent time for one another - one picks out a neclace fo rthe other and strokes it during a rare off moment during a busy schedule, it was just one second, the other is pleased and expresses it back in her eyes - gratitude, thanks, comfort, peace, acceptance, and joy.
+(add the word delight in there somewhere)
+I see people laughing with each other, I see husbands support their wives in ways I've never seen before. I see wives taking control of the things they really care about - whatever it is - who to see, what to do, when to do certain things, how to act together - and being comfortable to leave and take the things that they want their husbands to have and to give.
+I see people who encounter cancer and disease with the ease that only decades of living can give - each day you live and you experience like you've never seen it before, but backed by your experience, confidnent that you will beable to take on whatever challenges that come your way.
+I see fathers guiding their sons - teaching them how to hold a camera, how to speak, R is J's dad and they speak together in the same voice, same intonation, same words when asked a question, like they've lived together all their lives and son moulded in the form and shape of his father - I am my father's son - a tattoo - a father answers in the snow when the son calls, and the son returns when the father calls for him. I see daughters pulling away from and becoming closer to their mother and father at the same time - it's really interesting to see that happening all around me.
+I am here for this reason - and I need to continue to stay here to finish what I started - the epic journey to create a life, independent and true to myself and sane to the world. I will write and try to live my life to the best of my abilities, and give the rest away to this world and its creator.
+The english language does not have enough words to describe shades of green and yellow. As a Canadian, I want to specify, and identify each shade of yellow that I saw on my trip, and if necessary create some words to amplify and conduct the massive yellows that I saw.
+marriage setting on the train
+getting married on the traini
+dying on a train - suicide? what is it like to die in the company of a whole train of people who talked and laughed with you - to have your last hours be in the company of the canadian wilderness - to be taken on a trip across canada and then to die, the way you wantedto?
+Chekov once said that the heart of a story is the push and pull between male and female (and I will also include into my interpretation male and male, female and female, men who are really women, and woment who are really men, oh gosh darn it, does it really matter how I say what I say? But yes, it's important here - because language is the only way I can distinguish these minute distinctions that magnify to become the one central force powering our lives.), you can write about any subject, anything, you can write about an ashtray and have it become a story about the push and pull between people - you can turn an ashtray, a construction site, a simple bedbug into a metaphor that unfolds into a battlefield, a heartland, wherever you need for the characters to come alive.
+What is Klienfelter's syndrome? What is autism? Autistic Spectrum disorder
+observing what people do, what people say, what people act, who they like
+companies founded and destroyed over a cup of coffee
+open the doors and shout
+spend endless hours on the train watching the beauty go by
+how do you bike across canada?
+Celine, Ceriel, Danilo, Matik, Ross, Mary Jean, Sarah Jane, hand sandwich!
+What's a hand sandwich? Take some cold fries in your hand, lay them across the hand and make a bed. salad if you are conciencous about your health (probably not), add fried onions and chicken and pork. Add sauce and tsisiki. Add another bed of friends to cover - and squeeze the whole thing until it fits in the fist of your hand. Eat.
+way to end procrastination.
+Premise 1) I am avoiding anything that causes me pain - to try to minimize the impact and learn how not to cause myself pain. This may include cutting certain people, certain ideas, certain objects, certain habits out of my life.
+Premise 2) I am happy when I am productive.
+Premise 3) I am in pain whenever I don't write or am not productive in some way - be it building things, biking, fixing my bike, working, cooking.
+Conclusion -> Be productive - work, read, write - do anything that avoids the lack of productivity and I will be happy.
+Result -> decreased procrastination.
+(which was to be demonstrated)
+1) Ricepaper gift sub form
+2) Rosa's skingeek shopping cart
+4) apply to 5 jobs by midnight tonight
+5) edit this mess of a blog posting
+6) textpattern on winteroftext
+7) continue reading bible.
+Tuesday - meet June to maintain music library - look for some software that people use for cataloguing music
+Wednesday - Start CODI program
+Thursday - meet for rehearsal
+cello player who just got married - for honeymoon they biked across the south of spain - staying at hostels AND hotels - being pampered and on the road - they didn't have much time and wasn't restive, but they had a lot of fun. I should ask her how they planned it! The couple wants to bike across Canada next.