Files changed (1)
At least I have my keyboard - which means that I can drool on it and pretend to have a life. The more I write the more depressing this place becomes. I never have a chance to say these things to real people because I feel that I have to pretend to be super upbeat - but no - noone is going to come save me - no one will give me money or love or the clothes off their backs, so all I can do is write and be honest.
-I am on the edge of a blade - one side are bills and "responsibilities" on the other is the exhilerating chance to "fall out of the social net" to become a hermit who lives on the streets, jobless and homeless.
+I am on the edge of a blade - one side are bills and "responsibilities" on the other is the exhilarating chance to "fall out of the social net" to become a hermit who lives on the streets, jobless and homeless.
I mentioned to my brother that the more uncertain things are, the happier I become - it's a perversion of the maslow triangle - the more I lack in the essentials like food or water or shelter, the more self actualized I become. Shit I just used the american spelling for "actualized" vs "actualised" - does anyone care? I think I care about it - and that's why I'm self admonishing for using a "z" instead of an "s" - so I'm a vegetarian writer as well - I'm no vegan but I hate meat - the "z" is a piece of ham that dangles in front of my nose - daring me to go "americano" - to corrupt me into spelling things the way that everyone does. But I'm a vegetarian writer so I won't give in.