Anonymous avatar Anonymous committed 09e1d69

Removed humour.html~.

Comments (0)

Files changed (1)

t2/humour.html~

-#include '../template.wml'
-
-<subject "My Humour Collection" />
-
-<HR>
-<BR>
-<H3><I>A Jewish Deduction</I></H3>
-The Bible dictates that "Thou shalt not seethe [=cook] a kid [= young goat] 
-in his mother's milk." To avoid any possibility of breaking that regulation, 
-the Jewish tradition ruled that it also applies to female goats, 
-to mature goats, and to the meat and milk of two completely unrelated 
-goats. It is also forbidden to eat the meat with fresh milk, and it 
-applies to beef and mutten as well (including mixing the milk and meat 
-of two different beasts). Finally, chicken, which are incapable of 
-milk production, may not be eaten along with any mammal's milk either. 
-<BR><BR>
-We are fortunate that most mathematicians were not Jewish. Otherwise, 
-it would have been forbidden to divide by all numbers between -1 and 1.
-
-<BR><BR><BR>
-<UL><I>This bit used to appear on my signature for a short while, but people
-got mad because it was too long, so I replaced it.</I></UL>
-
-<HR>
-<BR>
-I used to be arrogant. Now I'm simply perfect.
-
-<UL><UL><I>Ronen Borshack (my cousin)</I></UL></UL>
-
-<HR>
-<BR>
-If the ancient Greeks had invented UNIX, Murphy's Law would have been known
-as Aristotle's Law.<BR>
-Had they invented MS-Windows, Murphy's Law would have been known as the
-Law of Socrates.<BR>
-
-<BR><HR>
-
-<BR>
-Microsoft's slogan used to be "Microsoft - making it all make sense." <BR>
-Today it should be: "Microsoft - making everything make sense. <B>Ours</B>."<BR>
-<BR>
-And another twist:<BR>
-"Microsoft - friendliness is our outstanding quality. No matter how much we
-mess up your computer work, we will always consider you our friend."
-
-<BR><BR>
-<HR>
-<BR>
-The American Lottery - all you need is a dollar and a dream. We will take the
-dollar, but you can keep the dream.
-
-<UL><I>(One of my previous E-mail signatures)</I></UL>
-
-<HR>
-<BR>
-I don't believe in fairies. Oops! A fairy died.<BR>
-I don't believe in fairies. Oops! Another fairy died.
-
-<UL><I>I don't really know who said it, so it's possible that I invented
-it.</I></UL>
-
-<HR>
-<BR>
-<PRE>
-:)-<
- +--
-</PRE>
-
-<UL><I>Moses the Smiley</I></UL>
-<HR>
-<BR>
-
-The prefix "God Said" has the extraordinary logical property of converting
-any statement that follows it into a true one.
-
-<hr>
-<br>
-
-<h3>Deltas to "Shit Happens" according to Religions:</h3>
-
-<p>
-Judaism: God knows you will do shit, does nothing to prevent it, but makes you take
-the blame for it anyways.
-</p>
-<p>
-Or alternatively:
-</p>
-<p>
-God is all the shit, all the non-shit and all the intermediate demi-shits in 
-between.
-</p>
-
-<br>
-<br>
-<hr>
-<br>
-
-<p>
-Let's interpret the past according to the present and not the present
-according to the past.
-</p>
-
-<ul>
-<i>(From an E-mail discussion with Ben Pfaff)</i>
-</ul>
-
-<br>
-<br>
-<hr>
-<br>
-
-<p>
-"Computer Sciense is no more about computers than astronomy is about
-telescopes"
-</p>
-
-<ul>
-<i>Edsgar W. Dijkstra</i>
-</ul>
-
-<p>
-"Programming Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about 
-stars."
-</p>
-
-<ul>
-<i>Shlomi Fish</i>
-</ul>
-
-<br>
-<br>
-<hr>
-<br>
-
-A more experienced programmer does not make less bugs. He just realizes 
-what went wrong more quickly.
-
-<br>
-<br>
-<hr>
-<br>
-
-I promised, I forgot, I broke my promise - just shoot me and get on 
-with it!
-
-<ul>
-<i>
-Potentially some famous last words, I also came up with this bit, and I'm
-not sure if I heard it before.
-</i>
-</ul>
-
-<br>
-<br>
-<hr>
-<br>
-
-<p>
-The first phrase that need to be taught when teaching a new language is how to 
-say "Do you speak English?".
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The first thing that needs to be taught when teaching a new computer tool 
-is how to exit it.
-</p>
-
-<br>
-<br>
-<hr>
-<br>
-
-<p>
-If:<br>
-1. A is A.<br>
-2. A is not not-A.<br>
-does it also imply that:<br>
-1. B is B.<br>
-2. B is not not-B.<br>
-</p>
-
-<ul>
-<i>If you don't understand it, either forget it or consult the following
-threads: 
-<a href="http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&threadm=deca99a9.0110250144.654613e9%40posting.google.com&prev=/groups%3Fnum%3D25%26hl%3Den%26group%3Dhumanities.philosophy.objectivism%26start%3D25%26group%3Dhumanities.philosophy.objectivism">
-Usenet</a>, 
-<a href="http://www.mail-archive.com/lin-club@vipe.technion.ac.il/msg00750.html">
-Haifa Linux Club
-</a></i>
-</ul>
-
-<br>
-<br>
-<hr>
-<br>
-
-<p>
-I know I'm blond, but I have to colour my hair brown, so people would
-not think I'm stupid. Because, like the title of the book says: "You've only
-got Three Seconds".
-
-Actaully, since Dad has two books like that, you've only got six seconds.
-</p>
-
-<ul>
-<i>Noa Fish (my sister)</i>
-</ul>
-
-<br>
-<br>
-<hr>
-<br>
-
-<h3>Re-inventing the Wheel</h3>
-
-<p>
-He who re-invents the wheel, will have a much better understanding how a 
-wheel works.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<i>Or:</i>
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He who re-invents the wheel, may actually invent a much better wheel.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<i><a href="http://nadav.harel.org.il/">Nadav Har'El</a>'s responce was:</i>
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He who re-invents the wheel will likely design a square wheel and spend
-a year trying to figure out why it doesn't work properly.
-</p>
-
-<br>
-<br>
-<hr>
-<br>
-
-<p>
-IMO, C++ supports Object-Oriented Programming roughly as much as COBOL supports
-Functional Programming.
-</p>
-
-<ul>
-<i>You have to be a relatively experienced hacker to get this joke. So don't 
-worry if you don't understand it.</i>
-</ul>
-
-<br>
-<br>
-<hr>
-<br>
-
-<p>
-Sometimes you don't need to be familiar with a better alternative to know
-that something sucks. Take Microsoft Word for example.
-</p>
-
-<ul>
-<i>Eran Keidar (my friend)</i>
-</ul>
-
-<br>
-<br>
-<hr>
-<br>
-
-<br />
-<br />
-<hr />
-<br />
-
-<p>
-I hope that if it had not been clear before, it is not less clear now.
-</p>
-
-<ul>
-<i>Dov Levin</i>
-</ul>
-
-<br>
-<br>
-<hr>
-<br>
-
-<p>
-The first law of Thermodynamics: A system with a constant energy, volume
-and pressure behaves in any way it wants.
-</p>
-
-<ul>
-<i>Falk Fish</i> (my father)
-</ul>
-
-<H3><A HREF="wysiwyt.html">IRPWUG announces project "What you see is what you think"</A></H3>
-
-My attempt at one of those computer industry related "news-flashes", that
-are hanging around the net. Describes a project by the IRPWUG organization
-that aims at making Microsoft Windows 95 reflect the way its users feel
-about it...<BR>
-
-
-
-<BR><BR>
-<HR>
-Designed by Shlomi Fish, <A HREF="mailto:shlomif@iglu.org.il">shlomif@iglu.org.il</A><BR>
-<BR>
-<DIV ALIGN=RIGHT>
-<A HREF="./"><img src="images/bk2hp.gif" border="0" alt="Back to my Homepage"></A>
-</DIV>
-
Tip: Filter by directory path e.g. /media app.js to search for public/media/app.js.
Tip: Use camelCasing e.g. ProjME to search for ProjectModifiedEvent.java.
Tip: Filter by extension type e.g. /repo .js to search for all .js files in the /repo directory.
Tip: Separate your search with spaces e.g. /ssh pom.xml to search for src/ssh/pom.xml.
Tip: Use ↑ and ↓ arrow keys to navigate and return to view the file.
Tip: You can also navigate files with Ctrl+j (next) and Ctrl+k (previous) and view the file with Ctrl+o.
Tip: You can also navigate files with Alt+j (next) and Alt+k (previous) and view the file with Alt+o.