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shl...@iglu.org.il@cec68495-dca5-4e2b-845c-11fdaaa4f967  committed 3a3c504

Add the COBOL New Age Programming Language bit.

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File t2/humour/bits/COBOL-the-New-Age-Programming-Language/index.html.wml

+#include '../template.wml'
+
+#include <utils.wml>
+
+<latemp_subject "COBOL - The New Age Programming Language" />
+<latemp_more_keywords "COBOL, parody, funny, humour, humor" />
+
+<note>
+<h2 id="note">Note (3-July-2010)</h2>
+
+<p>
+I originally planned to prepare a parodical page about COBOL (more
+parodying the pages of modern languages than COBOL per-ce) a few years
+back, but due to some recent developments, it seems that I've missed that
+boat. So here are my notes about COBOL, with a little organisation, just
+in case it will make you chuckle.
+</p>
+
+</note>
+
+<h2 id="content">The Content</h2>
+
+<p>
+NASA Uses COBOL.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And so do:
+</p>
+
+<ul>
+<li>Your bank.</li>
+<li>Your insurance company.</li>
+<li>Your government.</li>
+</ul>
+
+<p>
+COBOL runs your life.
+</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p>
+COBOL is the old Java.
+</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p>
+COBOL has its own modern web-framework:
+<a href="http://www.coboloncogs.org/INDEX.HTM">COBOL on COGS</a>.
+</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3 id="other-people-say">What other people say</h3>
+
+<p>
+<q>COBOL [is] … (Cargo Cult) English…</q>
+</p>
+
+<p>
+-- <a href="http://www.perl.org.il/presentations/larry-wall-present-continuous-future-perfect/transcript.html#Irrationalities_in_Other_Languages_.285:54.29">Larry Wall (the Creator of Perl)</a>
+</p>
+
+<p>
+<q>COBOL was an evolutionary dead-end.</q> [it
+was so good it didn't have to evolve further.]
+</p>
+
+<p>
+-- <a href="http://www.paulgraham.com/hundred.html">Paul Graham (Guru extraordinaire</a>
+</p>
+
+<p>
+<q>It's harder to read code than to write it.</q> [Especially if it's COBOL.]
+</p>
+
+<p>
+-- <a href="http://www.joelonsoftware.com/articles/fog0000000069.html">Joel
+Spolsky (Guru extraordinaire)</a>
+</p>
+
+<p>
+I was lost, but now I'm found:
+<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grace_Hopper">Amazing Grace</a>!
+</p>
+
+<p>
+-- <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iT88jBAoVIM">LeAnn Rimes</a>
+</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p>
+Of course Paul Graham was finally wrong about COBOL being an
+evolutionary dead-end! COBOL now has a modern language
+based on it: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LOLCODE">LOLCODE</a>!
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Example:
+</p>
+
+<pre>
+HAI
+CAN HAS STDIO?
+VISIBLE "I WUZ ONE-S KOBBOL!"
+KTHXBYE
+</pre>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p>
+COBOL has an Object-Oriented Programming extension called 
+"ADD 1 TO COBOL GIVING COBOL".
+</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p>
+COBOL does not have all the computer sciency baggage that other languages have:
+</p>
+
+<ul>
+
+<li>
+COBOL does not support object-oriented programming.
+</li>
+
+<li>
+COBOL does not support closures. (link to Joel's post).
+</li>
+
+<li>
+COBOL is not a dynamic language.
+</li>
+
+<li>
+COBOL supports functional programming roughly as much as C++ supports
+object-oriented programming.
+</li>
+
+<li>
+COBOL does not support procedural recursion.
+</li>
+
+<li>
+COBOL does not have a built-in support for regular expressions.
+</li>
+
+</ul>
+
+<p>
+You name it - COBOL doesn't have it. Get rid of all the cruft, and you only
+have what you need to get the job done!
+</p>
+