+<latemp_subject "COBOL - The New Age Programming Language" />
+<latemp_more_keywords "COBOL, parody, funny, humour, humor" />
+<h2 id="note">Note (3-July-2010)</h2>
+I originally planned to prepare a parodical page about COBOL (more
+parodying the pages of modern languages than COBOL per-ce) a few years
+back, but due to some recent developments, it seems that I've missed that
+boat. So here are my notes about COBOL, with a little organisation, just
+in case it will make you chuckle.
+<h2 id="content">The Content</h2>
+<li>Your insurance company.</li>
+COBOL has its own modern web-framework:
+<a href="http://www.coboloncogs.org/INDEX.HTM">COBOL on COGS</a>.
+<h3 id="other-people-say">What other people say</h3>
+<q>COBOL [is] … (Cargo Cult) English…</q>
+-- <a href="http://www.perl.org.il/presentations/larry-wall-present-continuous-future-perfect/transcript.html#Irrationalities_in_Other_Languages_.285:54.29">Larry Wall (the Creator of Perl)</a>
+<q>COBOL was an evolutionary dead-end.</q> [it
+was so good it didn't have to evolve further.]
+-- <a href="http://www.paulgraham.com/hundred.html">Paul Graham (Guru extraordinaire</a>
+<q>It's harder to read code than to write it.</q> [Especially if it's COBOL.]
+-- <a href="http://www.joelonsoftware.com/articles/fog0000000069.html">Joel
+Spolsky (Guru extraordinaire)</a>
+I was lost, but now I'm found:
+<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grace_Hopper">Amazing Grace</a>!
+-- <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iT88jBAoVIM">LeAnn Rimes</a>
+Of course Paul Graham was finally wrong about COBOL being an
+evolutionary dead-end! COBOL now has a modern language
+based on it: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LOLCODE">LOLCODE</a>!
+VISIBLE "I WUZ ONE-S KOBBOL!"
+COBOL has an Object-Oriented Programming extension called
+"ADD 1 TO COBOL GIVING COBOL".
+COBOL does not have all the computer sciency baggage that other languages have:
+COBOL does not support object-oriented programming.
+COBOL does not support closures. (link to Joel's post).
+COBOL is not a dynamic language.
+COBOL supports functional programming roughly as much as C++ supports
+COBOL does not support procedural recursion.
+COBOL does not have a built-in support for regular expressions.
+You name it - COBOL doesn't have it. Get rid of all the cruft, and you only
+have what you need to get the job done!