Commits

Shlomi Fish committed 4195fda

Rephrased HHFGv2.

Comments (0)

Files changed (1)

lib/docbook/5/xml/human-hacking-field-guide-v2.xml

         She opened her bag, took out the school’s students list, said
         “Jennifer?”, (I said “Raymond”), and checked my address. “Heh”, she
         said, “a couple of blocks from my house.” She took note of my name in
-        her PDA that lay on the computer’s table.
+        her PDA, which she placed on the computer’s desk.
     </para>
     <para>
         “Now for some homework. Go to the Internet and read ‘How to become a
     <para>
         I backed up my right hand, and hit his fist as hard as I could.
         Taylor cried “ow”, and rubbed his left hand with his right. Then
-        he said out of quite a pain, “You forgot that we go to the gym twice
+        he said while still in pain, “You forgot that we go to the gym twice
         a week.”
     </para>
     <para>
         quite irrationally. Erisa has learned Perl as her first language out
         of the so-called ‘scripting languages’, and she still prefers it to
         Python. She also told me that someone once told her that he’d rather
-        teach people Perl at start, because it’s a language they can express
+        teach people Perl first, because it’s a language they can express
         themselves in.”
     </para>
     <para>
             When it started, it displayed a nice graphical menu which said
             if I would like to start Linux or Windows. I chose Linux naturally.
             Then a large number of messages appeared (Erisa said even she
-            didn’t understand them all), and then I got the so-called “login”
-            prompt, that asked me for a username.
+            didn’t fully knew what they meant), and then I got the so-called
+            “login” prompt, that asked me for a username.
         </para>
         <para>
             “OK, ” said Erisa, “we took note of your username and password, and
         </para>
         <para>
             “Now, your homework for the next week is to prepare a homepage for
-            yourself, after you’ve read everything I bookmarked you. (Possibly
-            , along with reading it). Because you’re such an uninteresting
-            girl, you’ll probably want to fill it with things you like,
-            useless links, and raves about the Power Puff Girls. But I won’t
-            judge you. Just make sure it has a lot of content in it.”
+            yourself, after you’ve read everything I bookmarked for you.
+            (Possibly, along with reading it). Because you’re such an
+            uninteresting girl, you’ll probably want to fill it with things
+            you like, useless links, and raves about the Power Puff Girls. But
+            I won’t judge you. Just make sure it has a lot of content in it.”
         </para>
         <para>
             “Are you done insulting me?” I answered.
         (Who, like I said, was my boyfriend)
     </para>
     <para>
-        We were sitting in a nice restaurant having a romantic dinner. Yet,
+        We were sitting in a nice restaurant having dinner. Yet,
         I could think of nothing more pleasant to bring than Erisa and her
         idiosyncrasies.
     </para>
         </listitem>
     </orderedlist>
     <para>
-        All of this with a nice style. (I played with the colours endlessly
-        to get them right), and everything. It was actually quite fun, and
+        All of this with a nice style — I played with the colours endlessly
+        to get them right — and everything. It was actually quite fun, and
         I found myself doing it when I got too tired of doing homework.
     </para>
     <para>
         “Yes,” I said. “I’m Taylor’s friend and Erisa’s pupil.”
     </para>
     <para>
-        “Nice. Erisa is a first-class hacker (whatever her other faults are).
-        Just note that you shouldn’t be offended if some guys here hit on
+        “Nice. Erisa is a first-class hacker, whatever her other faults may
+        be. Just note that you shouldn’t be offended if some guys here hit on
         you. Most of them are heterosexual and most of the viable girls in
         this club are already taken.”
     </para>
         “What does he do?”
     </para>
     <para>
-        “He’s in high school too. Heavily into Electronics.”
+        “He’s in high school, too. Heavily into Electronics.”
     </para>
     <para>
         “Electronics? Wow, that’s impressive. Hardware hackers are a whole
         “Well, Blondie, sweet or not, my time and my resources are not
         distributed freely. It’s a tough world, and if you want to make
         it a better place, you should not give away your time, because
-        it’s too precious to be costless.”
+        it’s too precious to be worthless.”
     </para>
     <para>
         “‘Blondie’, again?”
     </para>
     <para>
         Erisa grinned. “Jennifer, the only reason I call you ‘Blondie’ is
-        because I’m a sweet compassionate girl who totally digs your hair
+        because I’m a sweet and compassionate girl who totally digs your hair
         colour.”
     </para>
     <para>