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shl...@cec68495-dca5-4e2b-845c-11fdaaa4f967  committed 4eaae6f

Moved the fortunes from vipe/ to t2/.

  • Participants
  • Parent commits 4246e84

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Files changed (16)

 
 ALL_DEST_BASE = dest
 
-FORTUNES_TARGET = dest/vipe-homepage/humour/fortunes/fortunes-index.html
+FORTUNES_TARGET = dest/t2-homepage/humour/fortunes/fortunes-index.html
 
 DOCS_COMMON_DEPS = template.wml lib/MyNavData.pm
 
 t2/philosophy/Index/index.html.wml : lib/article-index/article-index.dtd lib/article-index/article-index.xml lib/article-index/article-index.xsl $(PHILOSOPHY_DEPS)
 	touch $@
 
-$(FORTUNES_TARGET): vipe/humour/fortunes/fortunes-index.html.wml $(DOCS_COMMON_DEPS) $(HUMOUR_DEPS)
-	( cd vipe && wml $(WML_FLAGS) -DLATEMP_SERVER=vipe -DLATEMP_FILENAME=humour/fortunes/index.html humour/fortunes/fortunes-index.html.wml ) > $@
+$(FORTUNES_TARGET): t2/humour/fortunes/fortunes-index.html.wml $(DOCS_COMMON_DEPS) $(HUMOUR_DEPS)
+	( cd t2 && wml $(WML_FLAGS) -DLATEMP_SERVER=t2 -DLATEMP_FILENAME=humour/fortunes/index.html humour/fortunes/fortunes-index.html.wml ) > $@
 
 T2_DOCS_SRC = $(patsubst $(T2_DEST)/%,$(T2_SRC_DIR)/%.wml,$(T2_DOCS_DEST))
 VIPE_DOCS_SRC = $(patsubst $(VIPE_DEST)/%,$(VIPE_SRC_DIR)/%.wml,$(VIPE_DOCS_DEST))

File gen-helpers.pl

 use IO::All;
 
 my $text = io("include.mak")->slurp();
-$text =~ s!^(VIPE_DOCS = .*)humour/fortunes/fortunes-index.html!$1!m;
+$text =~ s!^(T2_DOCS = .*)humour/fortunes/fortunes-index.html!$1!m;
 io("include.mak")->print($text);
 
 1;

File lib/MyNavData.pm

                     'text' => "Fortune Cookies Collection",
                     'title' => "Collection of Files for Input to the UNIX 'fortune' Program",
                     'url' => "humour/fortunes/",
-                    'host' => "vipe",
                     'hide' => 1,
                 },
                 {

File t2/humour.html.wml

 </p>
 
 <p>
-You can also find them and others <a href="<rellink url="humour/fortunes/" host="vipe" />">in machine-readble UNIX fortune cookies collections</a>.
+You can also find them and others <a href="<rellink url="humour/fortunes/" host="t2" />">in machine-readble UNIX fortune cookies collections</a>.
 </p>
 
 <joke>

File t2/humour/aphorisms/index.html.wml

 Regularly updated.
 </p>
 
-<h2><a href="<rellink host="vipe" url="humour/fortunes/" />">Fortune Cookies</a></h2>
+<h2><a href="$(ROOT)/humour/fortunes/">Fortune Cookies</a></h2>
 
 <p>
 These are various quotes I like or came up with, in the UNIX fortune format.

File t2/humour/fortunes/Makefile~

+all: dist test
+
+VER = 0.2.6
+
+DIST_BASE = fortunes-shlomif
+
+DIST_DIR = $(DIST_BASE)-$(VER)
+
+PACKAGE_BASE = $(DIST_DIR).tar.gz
+
+FILES = shlomif shlomif-fav friends tinic osp_rules joel-on-software
+
+DATS = $(addsuffix .dat,$(FILES))
+
+$(DATS):: %.dat : %
+	/usr/sbin/strfile $<
+
+test: $(DATS)
+	@fortune -e $(addprefix ./,$(FILES))
+
+dist: $(PACKAGE_BASE)
+
+$(PACKAGE_BASE): $(DATS)
+	mkdir $(DIST_DIR)
+	cp $(FILES) $(DATS) $(DIST_DIR)
+	tar -czvf $(PACKAGE_BASE) $(DIST_DIR)
+	cat index.html | sed '/%%PACKAGE_BASE%%/ s/href=".*"/href="$(PACKAGE_BASE)"/' > index.html.new
+	mv -f index.html.new index.html
+	rm -fr $(DIST_DIR)

File t2/humour/fortunes/fortunes-index.html.wml

+#include '../template.wml'
+<latemp_subject "Fortune Cookie Files" />
+
+<p>
+These are some fortune cookie files I created that can be used with the UNIX
+fortune program. Most of the quotes here are funny, and the rest are such
+that I found especially enlightening and could not find in the other fortune
+collections.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+<!-- %%PACKAGE_BASE%% --><a href="fortunes-shlomif-0.2.7.tar.gz"><b>These fortunes in a tar.gz file</b></a>
+</p>
+
+<p>
+<a href="shlomif">shlomif</a> - a collection of my own quotes.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+<a href="shlomif-fav">shlomif-fav</a> - Favourite quotes I collected from
+various sources.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+<a href="friends">friends</a> - quotes from the scripts of the T.V. show
+Friends. They cover the first three seasons.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+<a href="joel-on-software">joel-on-software</a> - quotes from the
+<a href="http://www.joelonsoftware.com/">Joel on Software</a> site.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+<a href="osp_rules">osp_rules</a> - "The Rules of Open-Source Programming".
+Also check a <a href="http://www.advogato.org/article/395.html">discussion of it</a> on 
+<a href="http://www.advogato.org/">Advogato</a>.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+<a href="paul-graham">paul-graham</a> - Quotes from the essays and writings
+of <a href="http://www.paulgraham.com/">Paul Graham</a>.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+<a href="subversion">subversion</a> - Excerpts from the online 
+<a href="http://subversion.tigris.org/">Subversion</a> folklore.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+<a href="tinic">tinic</a> - the ultimate collection of reasons why 
+there is no IGLU cabal. Taken from the Israeli Linux on-line folklore. (work
+in progress)
+</p>
+
+<h2>Commentary and Disclaimer</h2>
+
+<p>
+Please report any typos or inaccuracies to me by 
+<a href="mailto:shlomif@vipe.technion.ac.il">E-mail</a>. The quotations
+here are owned by their respective copyright holders, and come with
+no warranty of any kind.
+</p>
+
+
+<h2>Links</h2>
+
+<ul>
+<li>
+<a
+href="http://www.splitbrain.org/index.php?x=.%2FFortunes">splitbrain.org's
+Fortunes</a> - contains fortunes from the X Files, Disc World, Forrest Gump,
+Star Wars, The Simpsons, and the Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy.
+</li>
+<li>
+<a href="http://www.catb.org/~esr/fortunes/">Eric S. Raymond's
+Fortunes</a> - quotes about individual rights, and some from the comedian
+Stephen Wright.
+</li>
+<li>
+<a href="http://cx.capsi.com/code-jargonfortunes.html">Fortunes from
+the Hackers's Jargon File</a>
+</li>
+<li>
+<a href="http://humorix.org/downloads/#Fortunes">Humorix' Fortunes</a>
+- including Linux slogans, quotes from Linus Torvalds and others, brief
+Microsoft jokes, and some portions of their articles.
+</li>
+<li>
+<a href="http://adi.stav.org.il/mav-flame.tar.gz">The Complete Marc A.
+Volovic Flames Collection</a> - Another Linux-IL folklore...
+</li>
+<li>
+<a href="http://www.datawar.net/technology/fortunes-random.html">Fortunes-random</a> 
+- a collection of random fortune cookies.
+</li>
+<li>
+<a href="http://kernelnewbies.org/kernelnewbies-fortunes.tar.gz">The 
+\#kernelnewbies fortune file</a> - a collection of funny or amusing Linux 
+kernel development related quotes.
+</li>
+<li>
+<a href="http://www.katspace.net/quotes/">KatSpace Quotes in 
+Fortune Format</a>.
+</li>
+<li>
+<a href="http://nanardon.homelinux.org/">Collection of French Fortunes</a>
+- a collection of fortunes in french by Nanardon.
+</li>
+</ul>
+

File t2/humour/fortunes/shlomif-fav~

+What is is. Perceive It. Integrate it. Act on it. Idealize it.
+
+	Leonard Peikoff
+%
+I/O, I/O, 
+It's off to disk I go, 
+a bit or byte to read or write, 
+I/O, I/O, I/O, I/O
+
+	Dave Peacock
+%
+Will: "Roses are red, 
+       Violets are Blue.
+       Jazz and I are black,
+       But, Carlton, what are you?"
+
+	Excerpt from "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"
+%
+And the top story for today: wives live longer than husbands because they
+are not married to women.
+
+	Colin Mochrie in "Whose Line is it Anyway?"
+%
+Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.
+
+	Ovid (43 BC - 18 AD)
+%
+I'm sexy, I'm cute, I'm popular to boot. 
+I'm bitchin', great hair, the boys all love to stare! 
+I'm wanted, I'm hot, I'm everything you're not.
+I'm pretty, I'm cool, I dominate this school. 
+Who am I? Just guess. Guys wanna touch my chest. 
+I'm rockin', I smile and many think I'm vile. 
+I'm flying, I jump you can look but don't you hump.  Whoo! 
+I major, I roar. I swear I'm not a whore. 
+We cheer and we lead - we act like we're on speed. 
+You hate us cause we're beautiful but we don't like you either. 
+We're cheerleaders. We are cheerleaders!
+
+	Excerpt from "Bring it On"
+%
+An algebra teacher is discussing a problem with a student. The teacher
+says: "Now, suppose x is the speed at which the train is travelling...". 
+And the student says "But teacher, what if x is not the speed at which
+the train is travelling?
+%
+The Shibber Factor
+
+Keep all the grades of the students who passed the test as is, and 
+convert the grades of all the students who failed to 54.
+%
+"God is Dead"
+
+    Neitzsche 
+
+"Neitzsche is Dead"
+
+    God
+
+( writing on a toilet's wall )
+%
+A serious and good philosophical work could be written that would consist
+entirely of jokes.
+	
+	Ludwig Wittgenstein
+%
+The difference between a bad student and a good student is that a bad
+student forgets all the material five minutes before the exam, while a good
+student five minutes after it.
+
+	Hugo Krawczyk
+%
+[Isaac Newton falls off the tree]
+
+Cho-Cho: Did the fall hurt you?
+
+Newton: It wasn't the fall; it was the sudden stop at the end.
+
+	Excerpt from the T.V. show "Histeria!"
+%
+Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these."
+
+	Ovid (43 BC - 18 AD)
+%
+Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried
+it.
+
+	Donald Knuth
+%
+> "It's not because they have suddenly converted to Stallmanism."
+
+> Anyone else misread that as "Stalinism"? 
+
+The word "Stalinism" is deprecated, the correct term is "GNU/Communism".
+
+	Spotted on Slashdot
+%
+Personally, I'd have a far better time writing scripts if I had some more
+creative shells to script in...
+
+ASMsh: The Assembly shell. Commands include MOV, SHL, SHR, JNE, etc.
+
+shellTM: Turing machine shell. Only four commands. Read, write, move left,
+move right. Capable of producing any programming language imaginable, given
+enough time and nerves of steel.
+
+GeneSH: Four commands. G, A, T, C. Need I say more?
+
+Qsh: Only uses one environment variable, which contains all possible values
+simultaneously. Method of scripting: isolate the universe in which the
+desired result is already accomplished, and intersect with it.
+
+Of course, I never said they'd be easy to use. But then, if these shells
+existed, and I knew a sysadmin who used any of them, you can believe
+Sysadmin Day would be a far more celebrated holiday. 
+    
+	The Night Watchman on a Slashdot Comment
+%
+We're on a mission from God.
+
+	The Blues Brothers

File t2/humour/fortunes/shlomif~

+I don't believe in fairies. Oops! A fairy died.
+I don't believe in fairies. Oops! Another fairy died.
+
+	Shlomi Fish
+%
+The prefix "God Said" has the extraordinary logical property of 
+converting any statement that follows it into a true one.
+
+	Shlomi Fish
+%
+A Jewish Deduction
+
+The Bible dictates that "Thou shalt not seethe [= cook] a kid [= young goat]
+in his mother's milk." To avoid any possibility of breaking that regulation, 
+the Jewish tradition ruled that it also applies to female goats, to mature
+goats, and to the meat and milk of two completely unrelated goats. It is 
+also forbidden to eat the meat with fresh milk, and it applies to beef 
+and mutten as well (including mixing the milk and meat of two different
+beasts). Finally, chicken, which are incapable of milk production, may not
+be eaten along with any mammal's milk either. 
+
+We are fortunate that most mathematicians were not Jewish. Otherwise, it
+would have been forbidden to divide by all numbers between -1 and 1. 
+
+
+	Shlomi Fish
+%
+I used to be arrogant. Now I'm simply Perfect.
+
+	Ronen Borshack
+%
+If the ancient Greeks had invented UNIX, Murphy's Law would have been known
+as Aristotle's Law.
+
+Had they invented MS-Windows, Murphy's Law would have been known as the Law
+of Socrates.
+
+	Shlomi Fish
+%
+Microsoft's slogan used to be "Microsoft - making it all make sense."
+
+Today it should be: "Microsoft - making everything make sense. Ours."
+
+	Shlomi Fish
+%
+Linux - Because Software Problems Should not Cost Money.
+
+	Shlomi Fish
+%
+The American Lottery - all you need is a dollar and a dream. We will 
+take the dollar, but you can keep the dream. 
+
+	Shlomi Fish
+%
+"Shit Happens" according to the religions of the world
+(Deltas by Shlomi Fish)
+
+Judaism: God knows you will do shit, does nothing to prevent it, but makes
+you take the blame for it anyways. 
+%
+Let's interpret the past according to the present and not the present
+according to the past. 
+
+	Shlomi Fish
+%
+"Computer Sciense is no more about computers than astronomy is about
+telescopes" 
+
+     Edsgar W. Dijkstra 
+
+"Programming Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about 
+stars." 
+
+     Shlomi Fish 
+%
+I/O, I/O, 
+It's off to disk I go, 
+a bit or byte to read or write, 
+I/O, I/O, I/O, I/O
+
+	Dave Peacock
+%
+[Discussing the shortage of IT workers as of 1998 on E-mail]
+
+Shlomi Fish to Omer Zak: "Even the NSA doesn't have enough programmers. But it
+is not likely that they will have more and that's because 'Summerschool at
+the NSA' may might as well be the name of Sarah Michelle Gellar's next
+movie."
+
+Omer Zak to Shlomi Fish: "And as opposed to 'I Know What You Did Last
+Summer' it is going to be scary."
+%
+Objective philosophy is like a pencil sharpener for one's mind.
+
+	Shlomi Fish
+%
+Oh! I wish you could see the look on his face! Actually, I would have also
+liked to see the look on his face, but just then I woke up from the dream.
+
+	"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
+	Shlomi Fish
+%
+Had I not been already insane, I would have long ago driven myself mad.
+
+	"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
+	Shlomi Fish
+%
+"Except for that, I planned a political simulator that forecast the two World
+Wars after I entered all the relevant data until the year 1000 AD."
+
+"Do you have a computer at home?"
+
+"Oh no. At present the program is written on a paper. Don't ask how much
+time it took me to take out all the bugs from it. But it was great fun!"
+
+	"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight it"
+	Shlomi Fish
+%
+"Likewise." Added the interviewer and said: "Your answers were also very ...
+unusual."
+
+"Although this description cannot testify on their quality, I take it as a
+compliment."
+
+	"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
+	Shlomi Fish
+%
+The government of the Supporter will finance your travel, and you will be
+able to leave tomorrow morning. We would like to inform you of the following 
+facts: we cannot assure your safety during this travel. Furthermore, 
+despite your long service at the Organization and your constructive 
+proposal, we cannot say, wholeheartedly or halfheartedly, that we wish 
+to protect your safety. Likewise, we cannot guarantee that we would not
+take actions that may harm you, indirectly or in a direct manner.
+
+We hope to see you here very soon.
+
+	"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
+	Shlomi Fish
+%
+"Okay, I think that I can now return to my country and my village. By the
+way, how many forbidden books do you have?"
+
+"Oh,", one of them said to me, " their number grows up geometrically. When I
+checked two weeks ago, their number was 2,148,763. A week ago there were 
+4,278,109 forbidden writings. Now there must be about 8,600,000."
+
+"You are wrong.", I said to him.
+
+"I beg your pardon?"
+
+"There are now exactly 8,517,559 or 8,517,560 forbidden books."
+
+"Why is it so important?"
+
+"Why, it means that meanwhile you have 82,440 or 82,441 extra books you can
+read at bedtime if you can't fall asleep!"
+
+	"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
+	Shlomi Fish
+%
+"And what is the nature of those activists: Socialists? Communists?
+Liberals? ... "
+
+"Let's say for simplicity that they are people of my intellect, only 
+that as opposed to me they are sane."
+
+	"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
+	Shlomi Fish
+%
+A more experienced programmer does not make less bugs. He just realizes
+what went wrong more quickly.
+
+	Shlomi Fish
+%
+BTW, for an editor with no replace feature (at least not on Windows 95), 
+no regular-expression search and replace, no indentation support, 
+no syntax-highlighting and no macros and scriptability features: 
+MS Notepad is one hell of an editor!
+
+	"Wonderous are the ways of Microsoft"
+	Shlomi Fish
+%
+Suggested Improvements to the Documentation:
+
+The WYSIWYT project was for a long time fascinated by Microsoft's tremendous 
+desire to advance its Internet Explorer web-browser. We saw the fact that 
+they switched the help systems of the upcoming Windows 98, as well as 
+Microsoft Visual C++ 5.0, to HTML a major step in advancing our project.
+
+As a complementary step, some of the chief heads of our project suggested
+that the Windows' manuals themselves, as well as all of Microsoft's ads,
+will be designed in HTML and printed after being rendered by IE4. While this
+project is in the preliminary and planning stages, we expect it to acquire a
+large momentum soon.
+
+	"IRPWUG Announces Project 'WYSIWYT'"
+	Shlomi Fish
+%
+If:
+1. A is A.
+2. A is not not-A.
+does it also imply that:
+1. B is B.
+2. B is not not-B.
+
+	Shlomi Fish
+%
+I know I'm blond, but I have to colour my hair brown, so people whould
+not think I'm stupid. Because, like the title of the book says: "You've only got
+Three Seconds".
+
+Actually, since dad baught two books like that, you've only got six
+seconds.
+
+	Noa Fish
+%
+Knuth is not God! It took him two days to build the Roman Empire.
+
+	Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2049
+%
+Knuth is not God! God has already released TeX version 4.0.
+
+	Shlomi Fish
+%
+
+>
+> Shlomi,
+>
+> Have you ever considered taking a Turing test? ;-)
+>
+ 
+<sarcasm>
+Sure I did. I sat at one point of an IRC channel, and someone
+tested me. Eventually it was discovered that I am a computer, but it
+turned out the other side was an Eliza program. Strangely enough, I could
+not detect that the latter fact was true.
+</sarcasm>
+
+	Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2465
+%
+There is no IGLU Cabal! None of them could pass the Turing test. But
+strangely enough a computer program they coded, could.
+
+	Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2465
+%
+Knuth is not God! Google is not God! RMS is not God! 
+
+God himself said that was the case.
+
+	Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2385
+%
+Knuth is not God! Typing "God" into Google and pressing "I'm Feeling
+Lucky" would not lead you to his homepage.
+
+	Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2084
+	("The Great WWW-Wisdom Shootout")
+%
+Knuth is not God! Unless you confuse him with Dijkstra.
+
+	Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2037
+%
+(I am patenting issuing a TINIC with anything else but the phrase "There
+is no IGLU Cabal!". The patent number is kept secret to avoid copyrighting
+its text)
+
+	Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2021
+%
+C++ supports Object-Oriented Programming roughly as much as COBOL supports
+Functional Programming.
+
+	Shlomi Fish

File t2/humour/index.html.wml

 An archive of funny bits and pieces I wrote and collected through the years.
 </p>
 
-<h3><a href="<rellink url="humour/fortunes/" host="vipe" />">Fortune Cookies Collection</a></h3>
+<h3><a href="$(ROOT)/humour/fortunes/">Fortune Cookies Collection</a></h3>
 
 <p>
 A collection of files for the UNIX fortune program (that can also be read with

File t2/philosophy/computers/web/create-a-great-personal-homesite/index.html.wml

 <a href="http://discuss.joelonsoftware.com/default.asp?joel.3.328310.0">pretty
 useless discussion of this article on the "Joel on Software" forum</a> I'd like
 to make some comments before everything. If you stumbled upon this article, 
-and consider to make a comment in the style of "your site sucks because of the 
-Google Ads [which existed at a time, but may no longer be present], and/or 
-because it doesn't have a good visual appeal, and/or because you have a PayPal 
-button, so this article must also suck", please note the following. 
-(If not <a href="#toc">then skip ahead</a>).
+and wish to make a comment of "your site sucks so this article must also 
+suck", please note the following. (If not <a href="#toc"><strong style="font-size: 120%">then skip ahead</strong></a>).
 </p>
 
 <ol>

File vipe/humour/fortunes/Makefile~

-all: dist test
-
-VER = 0.2.6
-
-DIST_BASE = fortunes-shlomif
-
-DIST_DIR = $(DIST_BASE)-$(VER)
-
-PACKAGE_BASE = $(DIST_DIR).tar.gz
-
-FILES = shlomif shlomif-fav friends tinic osp_rules joel-on-software
-
-DATS = $(addsuffix .dat,$(FILES))
-
-$(DATS):: %.dat : %
-	/usr/sbin/strfile $<
-
-test: $(DATS)
-	@fortune -e $(addprefix ./,$(FILES))
-
-dist: $(PACKAGE_BASE)
-
-$(PACKAGE_BASE): $(DATS)
-	mkdir $(DIST_DIR)
-	cp $(FILES) $(DATS) $(DIST_DIR)
-	tar -czvf $(PACKAGE_BASE) $(DIST_DIR)
-	cat index.html | sed '/%%PACKAGE_BASE%%/ s/href=".*"/href="$(PACKAGE_BASE)"/' > index.html.new
-	mv -f index.html.new index.html
-	rm -fr $(DIST_DIR)

File vipe/humour/fortunes/fortunes-index.html.wml

-#include '../template.wml'
-<latemp_subject "Fortune Cookie Files" />
-
-<p>
-These are some fortune cookie files I created that can be used with the UNIX
-fortune program. Most of the quotes here are funny, and the rest are such
-that I found especially enlightening and could not find in the other fortune
-collections.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<!-- %%PACKAGE_BASE%% --><a href="fortunes-shlomif-0.2.7.tar.gz"><b>These fortunes in a tar.gz file</b></a>
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<a href="shlomif">shlomif</a> - a collection of my own quotes.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<a href="shlomif-fav">shlomif-fav</a> - Favourite quotes I collected from
-various sources.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<a href="friends">friends</a> - quotes from the scripts of the T.V. show
-Friends. They cover the first three seasons.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<a href="joel-on-software">joel-on-software</a> - quotes from the
-<a href="http://www.joelonsoftware.com/">Joel on Software</a> site.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<a href="osp_rules">osp_rules</a> - "The Rules of Open-Source Programming".
-Also check a <a href="http://www.advogato.org/article/395.html">discussion of it</a> on 
-<a href="http://www.advogato.org/">Advogato</a>.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<a href="paul-graham">paul-graham</a> - Quotes from the essays and writings
-of <a href="http://www.paulgraham.com/">Paul Graham</a>.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<a href="subversion">subversion</a> - Excerpts from the online 
-<a href="http://subversion.tigris.org/">Subversion</a> folklore.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<a href="tinic">tinic</a> - the ultimate collection of reasons why 
-there is no IGLU cabal. Taken from the Israeli Linux on-line folklore. (work
-in progress)
-</p>
-
-<h2>Commentary and Disclaimer</h2>
-
-<p>
-Please report any typos or inaccuracies to me by 
-<a href="mailto:shlomif@vipe.technion.ac.il">E-mail</a>. The quotations
-here are owned by their respective copyright holders, and come with
-no warranty of any kind.
-</p>
-
-
-<h2>Links</h2>
-
-<ul>
-<li>
-<a
-href="http://www.splitbrain.org/index.php?x=.%2FFortunes">splitbrain.org's
-Fortunes</a> - contains fortunes from the X Files, Disc World, Forrest Gump,
-Star Wars, The Simpsons, and the Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy.
-</li>
-<li>
-<a href="http://www.catb.org/~esr/fortunes/">Eric S. Raymond's
-Fortunes</a> - quotes about individual rights, and some from the comedian
-Stephen Wright.
-</li>
-<li>
-<a href="http://cx.capsi.com/code-jargonfortunes.html">Fortunes from
-the Hackers's Jargon File</a>
-</li>
-<li>
-<a href="http://humorix.org/downloads/#Fortunes">Humorix' Fortunes</a>
-- including Linux slogans, quotes from Linus Torvalds and others, brief
-Microsoft jokes, and some portions of their articles.
-</li>
-<li>
-<a href="http://adi.stav.org.il/mav-flame.tar.gz">The Complete Marc A.
-Volovic Flames Collection</a> - Another Linux-IL folklore...
-</li>
-<li>
-<a href="http://www.datawar.net/technology/fortunes-random.html">Fortunes-random</a> 
-- a collection of random fortune cookies.
-</li>
-<li>
-<a href="http://kernelnewbies.org/kernelnewbies-fortunes.tar.gz">The 
-\#kernelnewbies fortune file</a> - a collection of funny or amusing Linux 
-kernel development related quotes.
-</li>
-<li>
-<a href="http://www.katspace.net/quotes/">KatSpace Quotes in 
-Fortune Format</a>.
-</li>
-<li>
-<a href="http://nanardon.homelinux.org/">Collection of French Fortunes</a>
-- a collection of fortunes in french by Nanardon.
-</li>
-</ul>
-

File vipe/humour/fortunes/shlomif-fav~

-What is is. Perceive It. Integrate it. Act on it. Idealize it.
-
-	Leonard Peikoff
-%
-I/O, I/O, 
-It's off to disk I go, 
-a bit or byte to read or write, 
-I/O, I/O, I/O, I/O
-
-	Dave Peacock
-%
-Will: "Roses are red, 
-       Violets are Blue.
-       Jazz and I are black,
-       But, Carlton, what are you?"
-
-	Excerpt from "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"
-%
-And the top story for today: wives live longer than husbands because they
-are not married to women.
-
-	Colin Mochrie in "Whose Line is it Anyway?"
-%
-Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.
-
-	Ovid (43 BC - 18 AD)
-%
-I'm sexy, I'm cute, I'm popular to boot. 
-I'm bitchin', great hair, the boys all love to stare! 
-I'm wanted, I'm hot, I'm everything you're not.
-I'm pretty, I'm cool, I dominate this school. 
-Who am I? Just guess. Guys wanna touch my chest. 
-I'm rockin', I smile and many think I'm vile. 
-I'm flying, I jump you can look but don't you hump.  Whoo! 
-I major, I roar. I swear I'm not a whore. 
-We cheer and we lead - we act like we're on speed. 
-You hate us cause we're beautiful but we don't like you either. 
-We're cheerleaders. We are cheerleaders!
-
-	Excerpt from "Bring it On"
-%
-An algebra teacher is discussing a problem with a student. The teacher
-says: "Now, suppose x is the speed at which the train is travelling...". 
-And the student says "But teacher, what if x is not the speed at which
-the train is travelling?
-%
-The Shibber Factor
-
-Keep all the grades of the students who passed the test as is, and 
-convert the grades of all the students who failed to 54.
-%
-"God is Dead"
-
-    Neitzsche 
-
-"Neitzsche is Dead"
-
-    God
-
-( writing on a toilet's wall )
-%
-A serious and good philosophical work could be written that would consist
-entirely of jokes.
-	
-	Ludwig Wittgenstein
-%
-The difference between a bad student and a good student is that a bad
-student forgets all the material five minutes before the exam, while a good
-student five minutes after it.
-
-	Hugo Krawczyk
-%
-[Isaac Newton falls off the tree]
-
-Cho-Cho: Did the fall hurt you?
-
-Newton: It wasn't the fall; it was the sudden stop at the end.
-
-	Excerpt from the T.V. show "Histeria!"
-%
-Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these."
-
-	Ovid (43 BC - 18 AD)
-%
-Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried
-it.
-
-	Donald Knuth
-%
-> "It's not because they have suddenly converted to Stallmanism."
-
-> Anyone else misread that as "Stalinism"? 
-
-The word "Stalinism" is deprecated, the correct term is "GNU/Communism".
-
-	Spotted on Slashdot
-%
-Personally, I'd have a far better time writing scripts if I had some more
-creative shells to script in...
-
-ASMsh: The Assembly shell. Commands include MOV, SHL, SHR, JNE, etc.
-
-shellTM: Turing machine shell. Only four commands. Read, write, move left,
-move right. Capable of producing any programming language imaginable, given
-enough time and nerves of steel.
-
-GeneSH: Four commands. G, A, T, C. Need I say more?
-
-Qsh: Only uses one environment variable, which contains all possible values
-simultaneously. Method of scripting: isolate the universe in which the
-desired result is already accomplished, and intersect with it.
-
-Of course, I never said they'd be easy to use. But then, if these shells
-existed, and I knew a sysadmin who used any of them, you can believe
-Sysadmin Day would be a far more celebrated holiday. 
-    
-	The Night Watchman on a Slashdot Comment
-%
-We're on a mission from God.
-
-	The Blues Brothers

File vipe/humour/fortunes/shlomif~

-I don't believe in fairies. Oops! A fairy died.
-I don't believe in fairies. Oops! Another fairy died.
-
-	Shlomi Fish
-%
-The prefix "God Said" has the extraordinary logical property of 
-converting any statement that follows it into a true one.
-
-	Shlomi Fish
-%
-A Jewish Deduction
-
-The Bible dictates that "Thou shalt not seethe [= cook] a kid [= young goat]
-in his mother's milk." To avoid any possibility of breaking that regulation, 
-the Jewish tradition ruled that it also applies to female goats, to mature
-goats, and to the meat and milk of two completely unrelated goats. It is 
-also forbidden to eat the meat with fresh milk, and it applies to beef 
-and mutten as well (including mixing the milk and meat of two different
-beasts). Finally, chicken, which are incapable of milk production, may not
-be eaten along with any mammal's milk either. 
-
-We are fortunate that most mathematicians were not Jewish. Otherwise, it
-would have been forbidden to divide by all numbers between -1 and 1. 
-
-
-	Shlomi Fish
-%
-I used to be arrogant. Now I'm simply Perfect.
-
-	Ronen Borshack
-%
-If the ancient Greeks had invented UNIX, Murphy's Law would have been known
-as Aristotle's Law.
-
-Had they invented MS-Windows, Murphy's Law would have been known as the Law
-of Socrates.
-
-	Shlomi Fish
-%
-Microsoft's slogan used to be "Microsoft - making it all make sense."
-
-Today it should be: "Microsoft - making everything make sense. Ours."
-
-	Shlomi Fish
-%
-Linux - Because Software Problems Should not Cost Money.
-
-	Shlomi Fish
-%
-The American Lottery - all you need is a dollar and a dream. We will 
-take the dollar, but you can keep the dream. 
-
-	Shlomi Fish
-%
-"Shit Happens" according to the religions of the world
-(Deltas by Shlomi Fish)
-
-Judaism: God knows you will do shit, does nothing to prevent it, but makes
-you take the blame for it anyways. 
-%
-Let's interpret the past according to the present and not the present
-according to the past. 
-
-	Shlomi Fish
-%
-"Computer Sciense is no more about computers than astronomy is about
-telescopes" 
-
-     Edsgar W. Dijkstra 
-
-"Programming Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about 
-stars." 
-
-     Shlomi Fish 
-%
-I/O, I/O, 
-It's off to disk I go, 
-a bit or byte to read or write, 
-I/O, I/O, I/O, I/O
-
-	Dave Peacock
-%
-[Discussing the shortage of IT workers as of 1998 on E-mail]
-
-Shlomi Fish to Omer Zak: "Even the NSA doesn't have enough programmers. But it
-is not likely that they will have more and that's because 'Summerschool at
-the NSA' may might as well be the name of Sarah Michelle Gellar's next
-movie."
-
-Omer Zak to Shlomi Fish: "And as opposed to 'I Know What You Did Last
-Summer' it is going to be scary."
-%
-Objective philosophy is like a pencil sharpener for one's mind.
-
-	Shlomi Fish
-%
-Oh! I wish you could see the look on his face! Actually, I would have also
-liked to see the look on his face, but just then I woke up from the dream.
-
-	"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
-	Shlomi Fish
-%
-Had I not been already insane, I would have long ago driven myself mad.
-
-	"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
-	Shlomi Fish
-%
-"Except for that, I planned a political simulator that forecast the two World
-Wars after I entered all the relevant data until the year 1000 AD."
-
-"Do you have a computer at home?"
-
-"Oh no. At present the program is written on a paper. Don't ask how much
-time it took me to take out all the bugs from it. But it was great fun!"
-
-	"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight it"
-	Shlomi Fish
-%
-"Likewise." Added the interviewer and said: "Your answers were also very ...
-unusual."
-
-"Although this description cannot testify on their quality, I take it as a
-compliment."
-
-	"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
-	Shlomi Fish
-%
-The government of the Supporter will finance your travel, and you will be
-able to leave tomorrow morning. We would like to inform you of the following 
-facts: we cannot assure your safety during this travel. Furthermore, 
-despite your long service at the Organization and your constructive 
-proposal, we cannot say, wholeheartedly or halfheartedly, that we wish 
-to protect your safety. Likewise, we cannot guarantee that we would not
-take actions that may harm you, indirectly or in a direct manner.
-
-We hope to see you here very soon.
-
-	"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
-	Shlomi Fish
-%
-"Okay, I think that I can now return to my country and my village. By the
-way, how many forbidden books do you have?"
-
-"Oh,", one of them said to me, " their number grows up geometrically. When I
-checked two weeks ago, their number was 2,148,763. A week ago there were 
-4,278,109 forbidden writings. Now there must be about 8,600,000."
-
-"You are wrong.", I said to him.
-
-"I beg your pardon?"
-
-"There are now exactly 8,517,559 or 8,517,560 forbidden books."
-
-"Why is it so important?"
-
-"Why, it means that meanwhile you have 82,440 or 82,441 extra books you can
-read at bedtime if you can't fall asleep!"
-
-	"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
-	Shlomi Fish
-%
-"And what is the nature of those activists: Socialists? Communists?
-Liberals? ... "
-
-"Let's say for simplicity that they are people of my intellect, only 
-that as opposed to me they are sane."
-
-	"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
-	Shlomi Fish
-%
-A more experienced programmer does not make less bugs. He just realizes
-what went wrong more quickly.
-
-	Shlomi Fish
-%
-BTW, for an editor with no replace feature (at least not on Windows 95), 
-no regular-expression search and replace, no indentation support, 
-no syntax-highlighting and no macros and scriptability features: 
-MS Notepad is one hell of an editor!
-
-	"Wonderous are the ways of Microsoft"
-	Shlomi Fish
-%
-Suggested Improvements to the Documentation:
-
-The WYSIWYT project was for a long time fascinated by Microsoft's tremendous 
-desire to advance its Internet Explorer web-browser. We saw the fact that 
-they switched the help systems of the upcoming Windows 98, as well as 
-Microsoft Visual C++ 5.0, to HTML a major step in advancing our project.
-
-As a complementary step, some of the chief heads of our project suggested
-that the Windows' manuals themselves, as well as all of Microsoft's ads,
-will be designed in HTML and printed after being rendered by IE4. While this
-project is in the preliminary and planning stages, we expect it to acquire a
-large momentum soon.
-
-	"IRPWUG Announces Project 'WYSIWYT'"
-	Shlomi Fish
-%
-If:
-1. A is A.
-2. A is not not-A.
-does it also imply that:
-1. B is B.
-2. B is not not-B.
-
-	Shlomi Fish
-%
-I know I'm blond, but I have to colour my hair brown, so people whould
-not think I'm stupid. Because, like the title of the book says: "You've only got
-Three Seconds".
-
-Actually, since dad baught two books like that, you've only got six
-seconds.
-
-	Noa Fish
-%
-Knuth is not God! It took him two days to build the Roman Empire.
-
-	Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2049
-%
-Knuth is not God! God has already released TeX version 4.0.
-
-	Shlomi Fish
-%
-
->
-> Shlomi,
->
-> Have you ever considered taking a Turing test? ;-)
->
- 
-<sarcasm>
-Sure I did. I sat at one point of an IRC channel, and someone
-tested me. Eventually it was discovered that I am a computer, but it
-turned out the other side was an Eliza program. Strangely enough, I could
-not detect that the latter fact was true.
-</sarcasm>
-
-	Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2465
-%
-There is no IGLU Cabal! None of them could pass the Turing test. But
-strangely enough a computer program they coded, could.
-
-	Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2465
-%
-Knuth is not God! Google is not God! RMS is not God! 
-
-God himself said that was the case.
-
-	Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2385
-%
-Knuth is not God! Typing "God" into Google and pressing "I'm Feeling
-Lucky" would not lead you to his homepage.
-
-	Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2084
-	("The Great WWW-Wisdom Shootout")
-%
-Knuth is not God! Unless you confuse him with Dijkstra.
-
-	Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2037
-%
-(I am patenting issuing a TINIC with anything else but the phrase "There
-is no IGLU Cabal!". The patent number is kept secret to avoid copyrighting
-its text)
-
-	Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2021
-%
-C++ supports Object-Oriented Programming roughly as much as COBOL supports
-Functional Programming.
-
-	Shlomi Fish

File vipe/index.html.wml

 <a href="./lm-solve/">lm-solve - a logic mazes solver</a>
 </li>
 <li>
-<a href="./humour/fortunes/">Collection of UNIX Fortune Files</a>
+<a href="<rellink host="t2" url="humour/fortunes/" />">Collection of UNIX Fortune Files</a>
 </li>
 <li>
 <a href="./i-bex/">"I, Bex!" - a stone-age clone</a>