Commits

Shlomi Fish committed ca4c8a1

[HHFG] Correct some English phrasing.

Start correcting the English phrasing to be more somewhat
more mature. Thanks to ssta (from Freenode) and Joel
(from the E-mail).

(Joel is not Joel "on Software" Spolsky - ;-).

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Files changed (1)

lib/docbook/5/xml/human-hacking-field-guide-v2.xml

                     Correct university into college. Thanks to muskrateer.
                 </revremark>
             </revision>
+            <revision>
+                <revnumber>5758</revnumber>
+                <date>2013-02-11</date>
+                <authorinitials>shlomif</authorinitials>
+                <revremark>
+                    Start correcting the English phrasing to be more somewhat
+                    more mature. Thanks to ssta (from Freenode) and Joel
+                    (from the E-mail).
+                </revremark>
+            </revision>
         </revhistory>
     </info>
 
         always show in movies. I’m in my high-school senior year now.
     </para>
     <para>
-        Let me tell you some things about myself. The first thing is that
-        I’m an honours student. I especially like Mathematics. Its high school
-        exercises are easy and fun and the difficult ones, which can be
-        found in puzzle books and Math competitions, are very challenging.
+        Allow me to introduce myself further. The first thing to note is that
+        I’m an honours student. I especially like Mathematics, whose high
+        school exercises are easy and fun and the difficult ones, which can be
+        found in puzzle books and Math competitions, are challenging.
         I’m also good in other subjects, but Math is really my passion.
         Other than that I’m blonde, have a cute face (I don’t really consider
         myself beautiful, but most guys seem to think so) and try to
-        dress very elegantly. As a Math geek, I sure have a social life.
+        dress as elegantly as I can. As a Math geek, I sure have a social life.
         Everybody around me seems to like me.
     </para>
     <para>
-        Finally, I should tell about Taylor, Taylor Lawrence. He’s my best
-        friend. We became friends when we were in the fourth
-        grade and were both grounded for 4 weeks. We instantly became friends.
-        When we were 12 and we started having, eh, sexual sensations, we
-        started dating each other. Then we both had a crush on different
-        people, and we were relieved when we found out. We decided exploring
-        our feelings would not be a worthwhile goal, and we dated other
-        people since.
+        Finally, I should tell about Taylor Lawrence, who is my best
+        friend. When we were in the fourth grade and were both grounded
+        for 4 weeks, and instantly became friends.
+        When we were 12, we started having, eh, sexual sensations, so we
+        started dating each other at first. However, we then both had a crush
+        on different people, and we were relieved when we found out. We
+        decided exploring our feelings would not be a worthwhile goal, and we
+        dated other people since.
     </para>
     <para>
         Taylor is probably even more popular than I am. Even though he wears
         prescription glasses, he looks great, and girls almost always agree
-        to go with him on dates. (And sometimes ask him themselves.) One thing
-        he seems to like and I don’t is computers. He spends hours on end
+        to go with him on dates, and sometimes ask him out themselves. One
+        thing he seems to like and I don’t is computers. He spends hours on end
         tampering with his computer at home. Mine, on the other hand, is
         almost always turned off. I have good hand writing, thank you, so I
         don’t need a word processor. I turn it on only to listen to audio
-        files, do some random browsing in the Internet (either for research,
+        files, do some random browsing on the Internet (either for research,
         or to kill time or whatever) or play Freecell or Tetris. I think
         computers are impersonal and boring.
     </para>
         It all started one day, when I was attending class, paying attention
         to the teacher, when suddenly it hit me: I don’t have any
         special skills, and have never really been involved in the community.
-        So, no prestigious college will prefer me over someone else. This has
-        worried me so much that for the rest of the day, I just wrote down
-        what the teacher said in my notebook thoughtlessly, and kept worrying
+        So, no prestigious college will prefer me over someone else. This
+        bothered me so much that for the rest of the day, I just mechanically
+        wrote down what the teacher said in my notebook, and kept worrying
         about this issue.
     </para>
     <para>
-        I really want to graduate from somewhere nice, so I can be proud
+        I would really like  to graduate from somewhere nice, so I can be proud
         of myself, and have the entire world at my disposal. But my entire
         life I’ve been concerned only about myself and my friends, trying to
-        be happy, (and having a pretty good success at it), and just doing
+        be happy (and being very successful at it), and just doing
         what my studies required me to do. I’ve never really been involved in
         anything for the community. And I never found it necessary to get
         any special skills, unless you call hitting the gym twice a week
-        (with Taylor), jogging and biking special.
+        (with Taylor), jogging, and biking special.
     </para>
     <para>
         So I was relieved when I met Taylor that day, when we both finished
         “OK, OK. How about Latin or Hebrew or Greek?”
     </para>
     <para>
-        “I have enough problems with Spanish, thank you.”
+        “I have a hard enough time studying Spanish, and you know
+        how all of its vocabulary just clutters my mind, and I do not really
+        need to learn another language.”
     </para>
     <para>
         “Si, comprendo.” Taylor said. “OK, OK”, he continued. “I know -
     <para>
         From talking to Taylor, I already knew that hacker did not
         necessarily mean a computer intruder, but rather someone who
-        accomplished things very enthusiastically. So I told him:
+        technically inclined, who liked to bend the rules. So I told him:
     </para>
     <para>
         “Open-source hacker? You know perfectly well that I’m a
     </para>
     <para>
         Jonathan is my boyfriend, and has been since the start of the
-        eleventh grade. He’s the best boyfriend I ever had. He also likes to
-        build machines with wires, batteries, and many other components. He
-        and Taylor have become good friends.
+        eleventh grade. He likes to build machines with wires, batteries, and
+        many other components. Taylor and he have become good friends.
     </para>
     <para>
         “Electronics? You know I have two left hands with these kind of
         things.”
     </para>
     <para>
-        “Jenn, but you’re left-handed!”
+        “But Jenn, you’re left-handed!”
     </para>
     <para>
         “So I have two right hands! Taylor, are we going to argue
         hall.
     </para>
     <para>
-        I followed him for a few hallways and then entered with him into a
+        I followed him for a few hallways and then we entered a
         computer lab. There he walked over to some figure (looked like a girl)
         with purple (!) hair.
     </para>
         “Hi!” he said.
     </para>
     <para>
-        “Hiiiii…” I heard an enthusiastic female voice. “Whatcha doing here?”
+        “Hiiiii…” I heard an enthusiastic feminine voice. “Whatcha doing here?”
     </para>
     <para>
         “Jenn, please come here. Jenn I’d like you to meet Eve Siegel, who