Source

shlomi-fish-homepage / t2 / humour / fortunes / shlomif-factoids.xml

  1
  2
  3
  4
  5
  6
  7
  8
  9
 10
 11
 12
 13
 14
 15
 16
 17
 18
 19
 20
 21
 22
 23
 24
 25
 26
 27
 28
 29
 30
 31
 32
 33
 34
 35
 36
 37
 38
 39
 40
 41
 42
 43
 44
 45
 46
 47
 48
 49
 50
 51
 52
 53
 54
 55
 56
 57
 58
 59
 60
 61
 62
 63
 64
 65
 66
 67
 68
 69
 70
 71
 72
 73
 74
 75
 76
 77
 78
 79
 80
 81
 82
 83
 84
 85
 86
 87
 88
 89
 90
 91
 92
 93
 94
 95
 96
 97
 98
 99
100
101
102
103
104
105
106
107
108
109
110
111
112
113
114
115
116
117
118
119
120
121
122
123
124
125
126
127
128
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
140
141
142
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
150
151
152
153
154
155
156
157
158
159
160
161
162
163
164
165
166
167
168
169
170
171
172
173
174
175
176
177
178
179
180
181
182
183
184
185
186
187
188
189
190
191
192
193
194
195
196
197
198
199
200
201
202
203
204
205
206
207
208
209
210
211
212
213
214
215
216
217
218
219
220
221
222
223
224
225
226
227
228
229
230
231
232
233
234
235
236
237
238
239
240
241
242
243
244
245
246
247
248
249
250
251
252
253
254
255
256
257
258
259
260
261
262
263
264
265
266
267
268
269
270
271
272
273
274
275
276
277
278
279
280
281
282
283
284
285
286
287
288
289
290
291
292
293
294
295
296
297
298
299
300
301
302
303
304
305
306
307
308
309
310
311
312
313
314
315
316
317
318
319
320
321
322
323
324
325
326
327
328
329
330
331
332
333
334
335
336
337
338
339
340
341
342
343
344
345
346
347
348
349
350
351
352
353
354
355
356
357
358
359
360
361
362
363
364
365
366
367
368
369
370
371
372
373
374
375
376
377
378
379
380
381
382
383
384
385
386
387
388
389
390
391
392
393
394
395
396
397
398
399
400
401
402
403
404
405
406
407
408
409
410
411
412
413
414
415
416
417
418
419
420
421
422
423
424
425
426
427
428
429
430
431
432
433
434
435
436
437
438
439
440
441
442
443
444
445
446
447
448
449
450
451
452
453
454
455
456
457
458
459
460
461
462
463
464
465
466
467
468
469
470
471
472
473
474
475
476
477
478
479
480
481
482
483
484
485
486
487
488
489
490
491
492
493
494
495
496
497
498
499
500
501
502
503
504
505
506
507
508
509
510
511
512
513
514
515
516
517
518
519
520
521
522
523
524
525
526
527
528
529
530
531
532
533
534
535
536
537
538
539
540
541
542
543
544
545
546
547
548
549
550
551
552
553
554
555
556
557
558
559
560
561
562
563
564
565
566
567
568
569
570
571
572
573
574
575
576
577
578
579
580
581
582
583
584
585
586
587
588
589
590
591
592
593
594
595
596
597
598
599
600
601
602
603
604
605
606
607
608
609
610
611
612
613
614
615
616
617
618
619
620
621
622
623
624
625
626
627
628
629
630
631
632
633
634
635
636
637
638
639
640
641
642
643
644
645
646
647
648
649
650
651
652
653
654
655
656
657
658
659
660
661
662
663
664
665
666
667
668
669
670
671
672
673
674
675
676
677
678
679
680
681
682
683
684
685
686
687
688
689
690
691
692
693
694
695
696
697
698
699
700
701
702
703
704
705
706
707
708
709
710
711
712
713
714
715
716
717
718
719
720
721
722
723
724
725
726
727
728
729
730
731
732
733
734
735
736
737
738
739
740
741
742
743
744
745
746
747
748
749
750
751
752
753
754
755
756
757
758
759
760
761
762
763
764
765
766
767
768
769
770
771
772
773
774
775
776
777
778
779
780
781
782
783
784
785
786
787
788
789
790
791
792
793
794
795
796
797
798
799
800
801
802
803
804
805
806
807
808
809
810
811
812
813
814
815
816
817
818
819
820
821
822
823
824
825
826
827
828
829
830
831
832
833
834
835
836
837
838
839
840
841
842
843
844
845
846
847
848
849
850
851
852
853
854
855
856
857
858
859
860
861
862
863
864
865
866
867
868
869
870
871
872
873
874
875
876
877
878
879
880
881
882
883
884
885
886
887
888
889
890
891
892
893
894
895
896
897
898
899
900
901
902
903
904
905
906
907
908
909
910
911
912
913
914
915
916
917
918
919
920
921
922
923
924
925
926
927
928
929
930
931
932
933
934
935
936
937
938
939
940
941
942
943
944
945
946
947
948
949
950
951
952
953
954
955
956
957
958
959
960
961
962
963
964
965
966
967
968
969
970
971
972
973
974
975
976
977
978
979
980
981
982
983
984
985
986
987
988
989
990
991
992
993
994
995
996
997
998
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<?xml-stylesheet type="text/xml" href="fortune-xml-to-html.xsl"?>
<collection>
  <head/>
  <list>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-1">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #1</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris wrote a complete Perl 6 implementation in a day,
                      but then destroyed all evidence with his bare hands, so
                      no-one will know his secrets.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-2">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #2</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                    Chuck Norris refactors 10 million lines of Perl code
                    before lunch.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-3">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #3</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris is his own boss. If you hire him, he'll
                      tell your boss what to do.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-4">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #4</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                    Chuck Norris read the entire English Wikipedia in 24
                    hours. Twice.
                  </p>
                  <p>
                      ( Actually, he wrote it in 24 hours. Twice. The first
                      time longhand in blood. The second time he typed it in
                      from memory (by <b>Drew Roberts</b>). )
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-5">
          <meta>
              <title>Kattana's Chuck Norris Fact #5</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris does not code; when he sits at a computer,
                      it just does whatever he wants. (By: <b>Kattana</b>.)
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Kattana</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-6">
          <meta>
              <title>Daxim's Chuck Norris Fact #6</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris commits with a roundhouse kick into the
                      SVN server's head.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Daxim</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-7">
          <meta>
              <title>Su-Shee's Chuck Norris Fact #7</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes. (Su-Shee)
                  </p>
                  <p>
                      He corrects God. (Shlomi Fish)
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Su-Shee and Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-8">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #8</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris is the ghost author of the entire Debian
                      GNU/Linux distribution. And he wrote it in 24 hours,
                      while taking snack breaks.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-9">
          <meta>
              <title>Araujo's Chuck Norris Fact #9</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                        Chuck Norris doesn't commit changes, the changes
                        commit for him.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Araujo</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-10">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #10</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Bugs are too afraid to reproduce on Chuck Norris'
                      computer. As a result, when he uses Microsoft Windows,
                      it behaves just like a Linux system.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-11">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #11</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris is a real programmer. He writes programs by
                      implementing the most optimised machines for them using
                      real atoms.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-12">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #12</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Deletionists delete Wikipedia articles that they consider
                      lame.
                  </p>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris deletes Deletionists whom he considers lame.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-13">
          <meta>
              <title>joeyadams's Chuck Norris Fact #13</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      There are no deletionists. Only Wikipedia articles Chuck
                      Norris allows to live. (By: <b>joeyadams</b>)
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>joeyadams</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-14">
          <meta>
              <title>joeyadams's Chuck Norris Fact #14</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Wikipedia deletionists don't delete lame Wikipedia
                      articles. Chuck Norris deletes lame Wikipedia articles.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-15">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #15</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      No one knows all of Perl - not even Larry Wall. Except
                      Chuck Norris, who knows all of Perl 5, Perl 6 and can
                      answer questions about the design of Perl 7.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-16">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #16</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                    Chuck Norris reads all messages posted to LKML (= the
                    Linux Kernel Mailing List), understands them all, and he
                    kills all gnomes he sees in sight.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-17">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #17</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      When Chuck Norris uses Gentoo, "emerge kde" finishes in
                      under a minute. A computer cannot afford to keep Chuck
                      waiting for too long.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-18">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #18</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                    Chuck Norris is the greatest man in history. He killed all
                    the great men who could ever pose a competition.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-19">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #19</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      "My only boss is God. And Chuck Norris who is his
                      boss."
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-20">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #20</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris can make the statement "This statement is
                      false." a true one.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-21">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #21</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris can end world hunger, but he thinks that
                      hungry people make humanity a more challenging adversary.
                      If everyone had enough to eat, it would be too easy for
                      him.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-22">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #22</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris can read Perl code that was RSA encrypted.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-23">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #23</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris once wrote a 10 million lines C++ program in
                      Microsoft Notepad without having to use the backspace
                      key. And it compiled without errors or warnings, and was
                      100% bug-free.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-24">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #24</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      If the mountain will not come to Muhammad, then Muhammad
                      will go to the mountain. If the mountain will not come to
                      Chuck Norris, then the mountain will suffer Norris’s
                      wrath for not complying with his whims.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-25">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #25</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris has 0 messages in his E-mail inbox.
                      Including already read ones.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-26">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #26</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris was never a newbie! He will kill anyone who
                      implies otherwise. In a very not newbie-like manner.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-27">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #27</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Only perl and Chuck Norris can parse Perl.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-28">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #28</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      All Chuck Norris has to do is *look* at Perl code and it
                      interprets itself out of fear and respect.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>DrForr</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-29">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #29</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris taught God how to create the universe.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-30">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #30</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris is the reason why the Knights who until
                      Recently Said “Ni”, are no longer saying “Ni”.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-31">
          <meta>
              <title>Dov and Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #31</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris is not afraid of superstitions.
                      Superstitions are afraid of Chuck Norris.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Dov and Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-32">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #32</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris <b>does</b> expect the Spanish
                      Inquisition.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-33">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #33</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      The Spanish Inquisition does not expect Chuck Norris.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-1">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #1</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      XSLT is the worst thing since non-sliced bread.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-2">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #2</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Mothers used to tell their children stories about XSLT
                      to scare them.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-3">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #3</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      XSLT is the number one cause of programmers' suicides
                      since Visual Basic 1.0.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-4">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #4</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      The X in XSLT stands for eXtermination.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-5">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #5</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      The only things worse than XSLT are Excel and Sugar-Less
                      Tea (XSLT).
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-6">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #6</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      XSLT is what Chuck Norris has nightmares of.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-7">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #7</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Confucius says: "XSLT made me realise humanity was
                      hopeless.".
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-8">
          <meta>
              <title>Zuu's "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #8</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Even APL won't make friends with XSLT.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Zuu</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-9">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #9</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      God considered using XSLT as the tenth plague of Egypt,
                      but then thought it was too evil.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-10">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #10</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      In Soviet Russia, XSLT codes you. Badly!
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-11">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #11</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Satan condemned Hitler for a million years of writing
                      XSLT.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-12">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #12</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      The KGB used to torture their victims by having them
                      look at scrolling XSLT code.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-13">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #13</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      "My name is Inigo Montoya. You forced my father to write
                      XSLT. Prepare to die!  And be thankful I don't force you
                      to write XSLT."
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-14">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #14</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Stray XSLT code causes more deaths than road accidents.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-15">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #15</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evil redirects to XSLT.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-larry-wall-facts">
          <meta>
              <title>Larry Wall Facts</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <ul>
                      <li>Larry Wall can understand the Perl code he wrote last
                          year.</li>
                      <li>Larry Wall gets the colon.</li>
                      <li>There are at least 137 Larry Walls in the U.S. but only
                          one that matters.</li>
                      <li>Larry Wall applies a patch
                          manually quicker than GNU patch.</li>
                      <li>Larry Wall
                          dreams in Perl.</li>
                      <li>Larry Wall can program in his
                          sleep.</li>
                      <li>Larry Wall is lazy, impatient and full
                          of hubris.</li>
                      <li>Larry Wall has more dollars in the
                          bank than in his Perl code.</li>
                  </ul>
                  <p>-- Larry Wall facts by Shlomi Fish</p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Larry-Wall/">Shlomif Fish’s "Larry Wall Facts"</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-larry-wall-facts-2">
          <meta>
              <title>Larry Wall Facts No. 2</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <ul>
                      <li>
Larry Wall <b>does</b> know all of Perl. However, he pretends to be wrong
or misinformed, so people will think he's not as awesome as he really is.
</li>
<li>
Larry Wall's pure-Perl code is faster than Assembly.
</li>
<li>
Larry Wall has been changing the world. By modifying its very source code.
</li>
                  </ul>
                  <p>-- Larry Wall facts by Shlomi Fish</p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Larry-Wall/">Shlomif Fish’s "Larry Wall Facts"</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-16">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #16</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      We have nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear has nothing
                      to fear but XSLT.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-17">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #17</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      The devil created a 10th circle of hell for the inventors
                      of XSLT, because the first nine circles were too mild for
                      them.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-larry-wall-facts-3">
          <meta>
              <title>Larry Wall Facts No. 3</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <ul>
                      <li>
                          Larry Wall can make shit up, and the computer will
                          understand what he means.
                      </li>
                  </ul>
                  <p>-- Larry Wall facts by Shlomi Fish</p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Larry-Wall/">Shlomif Fish’s “Larry Wall Facts”</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-soviet-russia-1">
          <meta>
              <title>In Soviet Russia #1</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      In Soviet Russia, superstition believes in you.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Sawyer X</author>
                  <work href="http://mail.perl.org.il/pipermail/perl/2012-September/012757.html">Post
                      to the Israeli Perl Mongers List</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
  </list>
</collection>
Tip: Filter by directory path e.g. /media app.js to search for public/media/app.js.
Tip: Use camelCasing e.g. ProjME to search for ProjectModifiedEvent.java.
Tip: Filter by extension type e.g. /repo .js to search for all .js files in the /repo directory.
Tip: Separate your search with spaces e.g. /ssh pom.xml to search for src/ssh/pom.xml.
Tip: Use ↑ and ↓ arrow keys to navigate and return to view the file.
Tip: You can also navigate files with Ctrl+j (next) and Ctrl+k (previous) and view the file with Ctrl+o.
Tip: You can also navigate files with Alt+j (next) and Alt+k (previous) and view the file with Alt+o.