shlomi-fish-homepage / t2 / humour / fortunes / sharp-perl.xml

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
74
75
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100
101
102
103
104
105
106
107
108
109
110
111
112
113
114
115
116
117
118
119
120
121
122
123
124
125
126
127
128
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
140
141
142
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
150
151
152
153
154
155
156
157
158
159
160
161
162
163
164
165
166
167
168
169
170
171
172
173
174
175
176
177
178
179
180
181
182
183
184
185
186
187
188
189
190
191
192
193
194
195
196
197
198
199
200
201
202
203
204
205
206
207
208
209
210
211
212
213
214
215
216
217
218
219
220
221
222
223
224
225
226
227
228
229
230
231
232
233
234
235
236
237
238
239
240
241
242
243
244
245
246
247
248
249
250
251
252
253
254
255
256
257
258
259
260
261
262
263
264
265
266
267
268
269
270
271
272
273
274
275
276
277
278
279
280
281
282
283
284
285
286
287
288
289
290
291
292
293
294
295
296
297
298
299
300
301
302
303
304
305
306
307
308
309
310
311
312
313
314
315
316
317
318
319
320
321
322
323
324
325
326
327
328
329
330
331
332
333
334
335
336
337
338
339
340
341
342
343
344
345
346
347
348
349
350
351
352
353
354
355
356
357
358
359
360
361
362
363
364
365
366
367
368
369
370
371
372
373
374
375
376
377
378
379
380
381
382
383
384
385
386
387
388
389
390
391
392
393
394
395
396
397
398
399
400
401
402
403
404
405
406
407
408
409
410
411
412
413
414
415
416
417
418
419
420
421
422
423
424
425
426
427
428
429
430
431
432
433
434
435
436
437
438
439
440
441
442
443
444
445
446
447
448
449
450
451
452
453
454
455
456
457
458
459
460
461
462
463
464
465
466
467
468
469
470
471
472
473
474
475
476
477
478
479
480
481
482
483
484
485
486
487
488
489
490
491
492
493
494
495
496
497
498
499
500
501
502
503
504
505
506
507
508
509
510
511
512
513
514
515
516
517
518
519
520
521
522
523
524
525
526
527
528
529
530
531
532
533
534
535
536
537
538
539
540
541
542
543
544
545
546
547
548
549
550
551
552
553
554
555
556
557
558
559
560
561
562
563
564
565
566
567
568
569
570
571
572
573
574
575
576
577
578
579
580
581
582
583
584
585
586
587
588
589
590
591
592
593
594
595
596
597
598
599
600
601
602
603
604
605
606
607
608
609
610
611
612
613
614
615
616
617
618
619
620
621
622
623
624
625
626
627
628
629
630
631
632
633
634
635
636
637
638
639
640
641
642
643
644
645
646
647
648
649
650
651
652
653
654
655
656
657
658
659
660
661
662
663
664
665
666
667
668
669
670
671
672
673
674
675
676
677
678
679
680
681
682
683
684
685
686
687
688
689
690
691
692
693
694
695
696
697
698
699
700
701
702
703
704
705
706
707
708
709
710
711
712
713
714
715
716
717
718
719
720
721
722
723
724
725
726
727
728
729
730
731
732
733
734
735
736
737
738
739
740
741
742
743
744
745
746
747
748
749
750
751
752
753
754
755
756
757
758
759
760
761
762
763
764
765
766
767
768
769
770
771
772
773
774
775
776
777
778
779
780
781
782
783
784
785
786
787
788
789
790
791
792
793
794
795
796
797
798
799
800
801
802
803
804
805
806
807
808
809
810
811
812
813
814
815
816
817
818
819
820
821
822
823
824
825
826
827
828
829
830
831
832
833
834
835
836
837
838
839
840
841
842
843
844
845
846
847
848
849
850
851
852
853
854
855
856
857
858
859
860
861
862
863
864
865
866
867
868
869
870
871
872
873
874
875
876
877
878
879
880
881
882
883
884
885
886
887
888
889
890
891
892
893
894
895
896
897
898
899
900
901
902
903
904
905
906
907
908
909
910
911
912
913
914
915
916
917
918
919
920
921
922
923
924
925
926
927
928
929
930
931
932
933
934
935
936
937
938
939
940
941
942
943
944
945
946
947
948
949
950
951
952
953
954
955
956
957
958
959
960
961
962
963
964
965
966
967
968
969
970
971
972
973
974
975
976
977
978
979
980
981
982
983
984
985
986
987
988
989
990
991
992
993
994
995
996
997
998
999
1000
1001
1002
1003
1004
1005
1006
1007
1008
1009
1010
1011
1012
1013
1014
1015
1016
1017
1018
1019
1020
1021
1022
1023
1024
1025
1026
1027
1028
1029
1030
1031
1032
1033
1034
1035
1036
1037
1038
1039
1040
1041
1042
1043
1044
1045
1046
1047
1048
1049
1050
1051
1052
1053
1054
1055
1056
1057
1058
1059
1060
1061
1062
1063
1064
1065
1066
1067
1068
1069
1070
1071
1072
1073
1074
1075
1076
1077
1078
1079
1080
1081
1082
1083
1084
1085
1086
1087
1088
1089
1090
1091
1092
1093
1094
1095
1096
1097
1098
1099
1100
1101
1102
1103
1104
1105
1106
1107
1108
1109
1110
1111
1112
1113
1114
1115
1116
1117
1118
1119
1120
1121
1122
1123
1124
1125
1126
1127
1128
1129
1130
1131
1132
1133
1134
1135
1136
1137
1138
1139
1140
1141
1142
1143
1144
1145
1146
1147
1148
1149
1150
1151
1152
1153
1154
1155
1156
1157
1158
1159
1160
1161
1162
1163
1164
1165
1166
1167
1168
1169
1170
1171
1172
1173
1174
1175
1176
1177
1178
1179
1180
1181
1182
1183
1184
1185
1186
1187
1188
1189
1190
1191
1192
1193
1194
1195
1196
1197
1198
1199
1200
1201
1202
1203
1204
1205
1206
1207
1208
1209
1210
1211
1212
1213
1214
1215
1216
1217
1218
1219
1220
1221
1222
1223
1224
1225
1226
1227
1228
1229
1230
1231
1232
1233
1234
1235
1236
1237
1238
1239
1240
1241
1242
1243
1244
1245
1246
1247
1248
1249
1250
1251
1252
1253
1254
1255
1256
1257
1258
1259
1260
1261
1262
1263
1264
1265
1266
1267
1268
1269
1270
1271
1272
1273
1274
1275
1276
1277
1278
1279
1280
1281
1282
1283
1284
1285
1286
1287
1288
1289
1290
1291
1292
1293
1294
1295
1296
1297
1298
1299
1300
1301
1302
1303
1304
1305
1306
1307
1308
1309
1310
1311
1312
1313
1314
1315
1316
1317
1318
1319
1320
1321
1322
1323
1324
1325
1326
1327
1328
1329
1330
1331
1332
1333
1334
1335
1336
1337
1338
1339
1340
1341
1342
1343
1344
1345
1346
1347
1348
1349
1350
1351
1352
1353
1354
1355
1356
1357
1358
1359
1360
1361
1362
1363
1364
1365
1366
1367
1368
1369
1370
1371
1372
1373
1374
1375
1376
1377
1378
1379
1380
1381
1382
1383
1384
1385
1386
1387
1388
1389
1390
1391
1392
1393
1394
1395
1396
1397
1398
1399
1400
1401
1402
1403
1404
1405
1406
1407
1408
1409
1410
1411
1412
1413
1414
1415
1416
1417
1418
1419
1420
1421
1422
1423
1424
1425
1426
1427
1428
1429
1430
1431
1432
1433
1434
1435
1436
1437
1438
1439
1440
1441
1442
1443
1444
1445
1446
1447
1448
1449
1450
1451
1452
1453
1454
1455
1456
1457
1458
1459
1460
1461
1462
1463
1464
1465
1466
1467
1468
1469
1470
1471
1472
1473
1474
1475
1476
1477
1478
1479
1480
1481
1482
1483
1484
1485
1486
1487
1488
1489
1490
1491
1492
1493
1494
1495
1496
1497
1498
1499
1500
1501
1502
1503
1504
1505
1506
1507
1508
1509
1510
1511
1512
1513
1514
1515
1516
1517
1518
1519
1520
1521
1522
1523
1524
1525
1526
1527
1528
1529
1530
1531
1532
1533
1534
1535
1536
1537
1538
1539
1540
1541
1542
1543
1544
1545
1546
1547
1548
1549
1550
1551
1552
1553
1554
1555
1556
1557
1558
1559
1560
1561
1562
1563
1564
1565
1566
1567
1568
1569
1570
1571
1572
1573
1574
1575
1576
1577
1578
1579
1580
1581
1582
1583
1584
1585
1586
1587
1588
1589
1590
1591
1592
1593
1594
1595
1596
1597
1598
1599
1600
1601
1602
1603
1604
1605
1606
1607
1608
1609
1610
1611
1612
1613
1614
1615
1616
1617
1618
1619
1620
1621
1622
1623
1624
1625
1626
1627
1628
1629
1630
1631
1632
1633
1634
1635
1636
1637
1638
1639
1640
1641
1642
1643
1644
1645
1646
1647
1648
1649
1650
1651
1652
1653
1654
1655
1656
1657
1658
1659
1660
1661
1662
1663
1664
1665
1666
1667
1668
1669
1670
1671
1672
1673
1674
1675
1676
1677
1678
1679
1680
1681
1682
1683
1684
1685
1686
1687
1688
1689
1690
1691
1692
1693
1694
1695
1696
1697
1698
1699
1700
1701
1702
1703
1704
1705
1706
1707
1708
1709
1710
1711
1712
1713
1714
1715
1716
1717
1718
1719
1720
1721
1722
1723
1724
1725
1726
1727
1728
1729
1730
1731
1732
1733
1734
1735
1736
1737
1738
1739
1740
1741
1742
1743
1744
1745
1746
1747
1748
1749
1750
1751
1752
1753
1754
1755
1756
1757
1758
1759
1760
1761
1762
1763
1764
1765
1766
1767
1768
1769
1770
1771
1772
1773
1774
1775
1776
1777
1778
1779
1780
1781
1782
1783
1784
1785
1786
1787
1788
1789
1790
1791
1792
1793
1794
1795
1796
1797
1798
1799
1800
1801
1802
1803
1804
1805
1806
1807
1808
1809
1810
1811
1812
1813
1814
1815
1816
1817
1818
1819
1820
1821
1822
1823
1824
1825
1826
1827
1828
1829
1830
1831
1832
1833
1834
1835
1836
1837
1838
1839
1840
1841
1842
1843
1844
1845
1846
1847
1848
1849
1850
1851
1852
1853
1854
1855
1856
1857
1858
1859
1860
1861
1862
1863
1864
1865
1866
1867
1868
1869
1870
1871
1872
1873
1874
1875
1876
1877
1878
1879
1880
1881
1882
1883
1884
1885
1886
1887
1888
1889
1890
1891
1892
1893
1894
1895
1896
1897
1898
1899
1900
1901
1902
1903
1904
1905
1906
1907
1908
1909
1910
1911
1912
1913
1914
1915
1916
1917
1918
1919
1920
1921
1922
1923
1924
1925
1926
1927
1928
1929
1930
1931
1932
1933
1934
1935
1936
1937
1938
1939
1940
1941
1942
1943
1944
1945
1946
1947
1948
1949
1950
1951
1952
1953
1954
1955
1956
1957
1958
1959
1960
1961
1962
1963
1964
1965
1966
1967
1968
1969
1970
1971
1972
1973
1974
1975
1976
1977
1978
1979
1980
1981
1982
1983
1984
1985
1986
1987
1988
1989
1990
1991
1992
1993
1994
1995
1996
1997
1998
1999
2000
2001
2002
2003
2004
2005
2006
2007
2008
2009
2010
2011
2012
2013
2014
2015
2016
2017
2018
2019
2020
2021
2022
2023
2024
2025
2026
2027
2028
2029
2030
2031
2032
2033
2034
2035
2036
2037
2038
2039
2040
2041
2042
2043
2044
2045
2046
2047
2048
2049
2050
2051
2052
2053
2054
2055
2056
2057
2058
2059
2060
2061
2062
2063
2064
2065
2066
2067
2068
2069
2070
2071
2072
2073
2074
2075
2076
2077
2078
2079
2080
2081
2082
2083
2084
2085
2086
2087
2088
2089
2090
2091
2092
2093
2094
2095
2096
2097
2098
2099
2100
2101
2102
2103
2104
2105
2106
2107
2108
2109
2110
2111
2112
2113
2114
2115
2116
2117
2118
2119
2120
2121
2122
2123
2124
2125
2126
2127
2128
2129
2130
2131
2132
2133
2134
2135
2136
2137
2138
2139
2140
2141
2142
2143
2144
2145
2146
2147
2148
2149
2150
2151
2152
2153
2154
2155
2156
2157
2158
2159
2160
2161
2162
2163
2164
2165
2166
2167
2168
2169
2170
2171
2172
2173
2174
2175
2176
2177
2178
2179
2180
2181
2182
2183
2184
2185
2186
2187
2188
2189
2190
2191
2192
2193
2194
2195
2196
2197
2198
2199
2200
2201
2202
2203
2204
2205
2206
2207
2208
2209
2210
2211
2212
2213
2214
2215
2216
2217
2218
2219
2220
2221
2222
2223
2224
2225
2226
2227
2228
2229
2230
2231
2232
2233
2234
2235
2236
2237
2238
2239
2240
2241
2242
2243
2244
2245
2246
2247
2248
2249
2250
2251
2252
2253
2254
2255
2256
2257
2258
2259
2260
2261
2262
2263
2264
2265
2266
2267
2268
2269
2270
2271
2272
2273
2274
2275
2276
2277
2278
2279
2280
2281
2282
2283
2284
2285
2286
2287
2288
2289
2290
2291
2292
2293
2294
2295
2296
2297
2298
2299
2300
2301
2302
2303
2304
2305
2306
2307
2308
2309
2310
2311
2312
2313
2314
2315
2316
2317
2318
2319
2320
2321
2322
2323
2324
2325
2326
2327
2328
2329
2330
2331
2332
2333
2334
2335
2336
2337
2338
2339
2340
2341
2342
2343
2344
2345
2346
2347
2348
2349
2350
2351
2352
2353
2354
2355
2356
2357
2358
2359
2360
2361
2362
2363
2364
2365
2366
2367
2368
2369
2370
2371
2372
2373
2374
2375
2376
2377
2378
2379
2380
2381
2382
2383
2384
2385
2386
2387
2388
2389
2390
2391
2392
2393
2394
2395
2396
2397
2398
2399
2400
2401
2402
2403
2404
2405
2406
2407
2408
2409
2410
2411
2412
2413
2414
2415
2416
2417
2418
2419
2420
2421
2422
2423
2424
2425
2426
2427
2428
2429
2430
2431
2432
2433
2434
2435
2436
2437
2438
2439
2440
2441
2442
2443
2444
2445
2446
2447
2448
2449
2450
2451
2452
2453
2454
2455
2456
2457
2458
2459
2460
2461
2462
2463
2464
2465
2466
2467
2468
2469
2470
2471
2472
2473
2474
2475
2476
2477
2478
2479
2480
2481
2482
2483
2484
2485
2486
2487
2488
2489
2490
2491
2492
2493
2494
2495
2496
2497
2498
2499
2500
2501
2502
2503
2504
2505
2506
2507
2508
2509
2510
2511
2512
2513
2514
2515
2516
2517
2518
2519
2520
2521
2522
2523
2524
2525
2526
2527
2528
2529
2530
2531
2532
2533
2534
2535
2536
2537
2538
2539
2540
2541
2542
2543
2544
2545
2546
2547
2548
2549
2550
2551
2552
2553
2554
2555
2556
2557
2558
2559
2560
2561
2562
2563
2564
2565
2566
2567
2568
2569
2570
2571
2572
2573
2574
2575
2576
2577
2578
2579
2580
2581
2582
2583
2584
2585
2586
2587
2588
2589
2590
2591
2592
2593
2594
2595
2596
2597
2598
2599
2600
2601
2602
2603
2604
2605
2606
2607
2608
2609
2610
2611
2612
2613
2614
2615
2616
2617
2618
2619
2620
2621
2622
2623
2624
2625
2626
2627
2628
2629
2630
2631
2632
2633
2634
2635
2636
2637
2638
2639
2640
2641
2642
2643
2644
2645
2646
2647
2648
2649
2650
2651
2652
2653
2654
2655
2656
2657
2658
2659
2660
2661
2662
2663
2664
2665
2666
2667
2668
2669
2670
2671
2672
2673
2674
2675
2676
2677
2678
2679
2680
2681
2682
2683
2684
2685
2686
2687
2688
2689
2690
2691
2692
2693
2694
2695
2696
2697
2698
2699
2700
2701
2702
2703
2704
2705
2706
2707
2708
2709
2710
2711
2712
2713
2714
2715
2716
2717
2718
2719
2720
2721
2722
2723
2724
2725
2726
2727
2728
2729
2730
2731
2732
2733
2734
2735
2736
2737
2738
2739
2740
2741
2742
2743
2744
2745
2746
2747
2748
2749
2750
2751
2752
2753
2754
2755
2756
2757
2758
2759
2760
2761
2762
2763
2764
2765
2766
2767
2768
2769
2770
2771
2772
2773
2774
2775
2776
2777
2778
2779
2780
2781
2782
2783
2784
2785
2786
2787
2788
2789
2790
2791
2792
2793
2794
2795
2796
2797
2798
2799
2800
2801
2802
2803
2804
2805
2806
2807
2808
2809
2810
2811
2812
2813
2814
2815
2816
2817
2818
2819
2820
2821
2822
2823
2824
2825
2826
2827
2828
2829
2830
2831
2832
2833
2834
2835
2836
2837
2838
2839
2840
2841
2842
2843
2844
2845
2846
2847
2848
2849
2850
2851
2852
2853
2854
2855
2856
2857
2858
2859
2860
2861
2862
2863
2864
2865
2866
2867
2868
2869
2870
2871
2872
2873
2874
2875
2876
2877
2878
2879
2880
2881
2882
2883
2884
2885
2886
2887
2888
2889
2890
2891
2892
2893
2894
2895
2896
2897
2898
2899
2900
2901
2902
2903
2904
2905
2906
2907
2908
2909
2910
2911
2912
2913
2914
2915
2916
2917
2918
2919
2920
2921
2922
2923
2924
2925
2926
2927
2928
2929
2930
2931
2932
2933
2934
2935
2936
2937
2938
2939
2940
2941
2942
2943
2944
2945
2946
2947
2948
2949
2950
2951
2952
2953
2954
2955
2956
2957
2958
2959
2960
2961
2962
2963
2964
2965
2966
2967
2968
2969
2970
2971
2972
2973
2974
2975
2976
2977
2978
2979
2980
2981
2982
2983
2984
2985
2986
2987
2988
2989
2990
2991
2992
2993
2994
2995
2996
2997
2998
2999
3000
3001
3002
3003
3004
3005
3006
3007
3008
3009
3010
3011
3012
3013
3014
3015
3016
3017
3018
3019
3020
3021
3022
3023
3024
3025
3026
3027
3028
3029
3030
3031
3032
3033
3034
3035
3036
3037
3038
3039
3040
3041
3042
3043
3044
3045
3046
3047
3048
3049
3050
3051
3052
3053
3054
3055
3056
3057
3058
3059
3060
3061
3062
3063
3064
3065
3066
3067
3068
3069
3070
3071
3072
3073
3074
3075
3076
3077
3078
3079
3080
3081
3082
3083
3084
3085
3086
3087
3088
3089
3090
3091
3092
3093
3094
3095
3096
3097
3098
3099
3100
3101
3102
3103
3104
3105
3106
3107
3108
3109
3110
3111
3112
3113
3114
3115
3116
3117
3118
3119
3120
3121
3122
3123
3124
3125
3126
3127
3128
3129
3130
3131
3132
3133
3134
3135
3136
3137
3138
3139
3140
3141
3142
3143
3144
3145
3146
3147
3148
3149
3150
3151
3152
3153
3154
3155
3156
3157
3158
3159
3160
3161
3162
3163
3164
3165
3166
3167
3168
3169
3170
3171
3172
3173
3174
3175
3176
3177
3178
3179
3180
3181
3182
3183
3184
3185
3186
3187
3188
3189
3190
3191
3192
3193
3194
3195
3196
3197
3198
3199
3200
3201
3202
3203
3204
3205
3206
3207
3208
3209
3210
3211
3212
3213
3214
3215
3216
3217
3218
3219
3220
3221
3222
3223
3224
3225
3226
3227
3228
3229
3230
3231
3232
3233
3234
3235
3236
3237
3238
3239
3240
3241
3242
3243
3244
3245
3246
3247
3248
3249
3250
3251
3252
3253
3254
3255
3256
3257
3258
3259
3260
3261
3262
3263
3264
3265
3266
3267
3268
3269
3270
3271
3272
3273
3274
3275
3276
3277
3278
3279
3280
3281
3282
3283
3284
3285
3286
3287
3288
3289
3290
3291
3292
3293
3294
3295
3296
3297
3298
3299
3300
3301
3302
3303
3304
3305
3306
3307
3308
3309
3310
3311
3312
3313
3314
3315
3316
3317
3318
3319
3320
3321
3322
3323
3324
3325
3326
3327
3328
3329
3330
3331
3332
3333
3334
3335
3336
3337
3338
3339
3340
3341
3342
3343
3344
3345
3346
3347
3348
3349
3350
3351
3352
3353
3354
3355
3356
3357
3358
3359
3360
3361
3362
3363
3364
3365
3366
3367
3368
3369
3370
3371
3372
3373
3374
3375
3376
3377
3378
3379
3380
3381
3382
3383
3384
3385
3386
3387
3388
3389
3390
3391
3392
3393
3394
3395
3396
3397
3398
3399
3400
3401
3402
3403
3404
3405
3406
3407
3408
3409
3410
3411
3412
3413
3414
3415
3416
3417
3418
3419
3420
3421
3422
3423
3424
3425
3426
3427
3428
3429
3430
3431
3432
3433
3434
3435
3436
3437
3438
3439
3440
3441
3442
3443
3444
3445
3446
3447
3448
3449
3450
3451
3452
3453
3454
3455
3456
3457
3458
3459
3460
3461
3462
3463
3464
3465
3466
3467
3468
3469
3470
3471
3472
3473
3474
3475
3476
3477
3478
3479
3480
3481
3482
3483
3484
3485
3486
3487
3488
3489
3490
3491
3492
3493
3494
3495
3496
3497
3498
3499
3500
3501
3502
3503
3504
3505
3506
3507
3508
3509
3510
3511
3512
3513
3514
3515
3516
3517
3518
3519
3520
3521
3522
3523
3524
3525
3526
3527
3528
3529
3530
3531
3532
3533
3534
3535
3536
3537
3538
3539
3540
3541
3542
3543
3544
3545
3546
3547
3548
3549
3550
3551
3552
3553
3554
3555
3556
3557
3558
3559
3560
3561
3562
3563
3564
3565
3566
3567
3568
3569
3570
3571
3572
3573
3574
3575
3576
3577
3578
3579
3580
3581
3582
3583
3584
3585
3586
3587
3588
3589
3590
3591
3592
3593
3594
3595
3596
3597
3598
3599
3600
3601
3602
3603
3604
3605
3606
3607
3608
3609
3610
3611
3612
3613
3614
3615
3616
3617
3618
3619
3620
3621
3622
3623
3624
3625
3626
3627
3628
3629
3630
3631
3632
3633
3634
3635
3636
3637
3638
3639
3640
3641
3642
3643
3644
3645
3646
3647
3648
3649
3650
3651
3652
3653
3654
3655
3656
3657
3658
3659
3660
3661
3662
3663
3664
3665
3666
3667
3668
3669
3670
3671
3672
3673
3674
3675
3676
3677
3678
3679
3680
3681
3682
3683
3684
3685
3686
3687
3688
3689
3690
3691
3692
3693
3694
3695
3696
3697
3698
3699
3700
3701
3702
3703
3704
3705
3706
3707
3708
3709
3710
3711
3712
3713
3714
3715
3716
3717
3718
3719
3720
3721
3722
3723
3724
3725
3726
3727
3728
3729
3730
3731
3732
3733
3734
3735
3736
3737
3738
3739
3740
3741
3742
3743
3744
3745
3746
3747
3748
3749
3750
3751
3752
3753
3754
3755
3756
3757
3758
3759
3760
3761
3762
3763
3764
3765
3766
3767
3768
3769
3770
3771
3772
3773
3774
3775
3776
3777
3778
3779
3780
3781
3782
3783
3784
3785
3786
3787
3788
3789
3790
3791
3792
3793
3794
3795
3796
3797
3798
3799
3800
3801
3802
3803
3804
3805
3806
3807
3808
3809
3810
3811
3812
3813
3814
3815
3816
3817
3818
3819
3820
3821
3822
3823
3824
3825
3826
3827
3828
3829
3830
3831
3832
3833
3834
3835
3836
3837
3838
3839
3840
3841
3842
3843
3844
3845
3846
3847
3848
3849
3850
3851
3852
3853
3854
3855
3856
3857
3858
3859
3860
3861
3862
3863
3864
3865
3866
3867
3868
3869
3870
3871
3872
3873
3874
3875
3876
3877
3878
3879
3880
3881
3882
3883
3884
3885
3886
3887
3888
3889
3890
3891
3892
3893
3894
3895
3896
3897
3898
3899
3900
3901
3902
3903
3904
3905
3906
3907
3908
3909
3910
3911
3912
3913
3914
3915
3916
3917
3918
3919
3920
3921
3922
3923
3924
3925
3926
3927
3928
3929
3930
3931
3932
3933
3934
3935
3936
3937
3938
3939
3940
3941
3942
3943
3944
3945
3946
3947
3948
3949
3950
3951
3952
3953
3954
3955
3956
3957
3958
3959
3960
3961
3962
3963
3964
3965
3966
3967
3968
3969
3970
3971
3972
3973
3974
3975
3976
3977
3978
3979
3980
3981
3982
3983
3984
3985
3986
3987
3988
3989
3990
3991
3992
3993
3994
3995
3996
3997
3998
3999
4000
4001
4002
4003
4004
4005
4006
4007
4008
4009
4010
4011
4012
4013
4014
4015
4016
4017
4018
4019
4020
4021
4022
4023
4024
4025
4026
4027
4028
4029
4030
4031
4032
4033
4034
4035
4036
4037
4038
4039
4040
4041
4042
4043
4044
4045
4046
4047
4048
4049
4050
4051
4052
4053
4054
4055
4056
4057
4058
4059
4060
4061
4062
4063
4064
4065
4066
4067
4068
4069
4070
4071
4072
4073
4074
4075
4076
4077
4078
4079
4080
4081
4082
4083
4084
4085
4086
4087
4088
4089
4090
4091
4092
4093
4094
4095
4096
4097
4098
4099
4100
4101
4102
4103
4104
4105
4106
4107
4108
4109
4110
4111
4112
4113
4114
4115
4116
4117
4118
4119
4120
4121
4122
4123
4124
4125
4126
4127
4128
4129
4130
4131
4132
4133
4134
4135
4136
4137
4138
4139
4140
4141
4142
4143
4144
4145
4146
4147
4148
4149
4150
4151
4152
4153
4154
4155
4156
4157
4158
4159
4160
4161
4162
4163
4164
4165
4166
4167
4168
4169
4170
4171
4172
4173
4174
4175
4176
4177
4178
4179
4180
4181
4182
4183
4184
4185
4186
4187
4188
4189
4190
4191
4192
4193
4194
4195
4196
4197
4198
4199
4200
4201
4202
4203
4204
4205
4206
4207
4208
4209
4210
4211
4212
4213
4214
4215
4216
4217
4218
4219
4220
4221
4222
4223
4224
4225
4226
4227
4228
4229
4230
4231
4232
4233
4234
4235
4236
4237
4238
4239
4240
4241
4242
4243
4244
4245
4246
4247
4248
4249
4250
4251
4252
4253
4254
4255
4256
4257
4258
4259
4260
4261
4262
4263
4264
4265
4266
4267
4268
4269
4270
4271
4272
4273
4274
4275
4276
4277
4278
4279
4280
4281
4282
4283
4284
4285
4286
4287
4288
4289
4290
4291
4292
4293
4294
4295
4296
4297
4298
4299
4300
4301
4302
4303
4304
4305
4306
4307
4308
4309
4310
4311
4312
4313
4314
4315
4316
4317
4318
4319
4320
4321
4322
4323
4324
4325
4326
4327
4328
4329
4330
4331
4332
4333
4334
4335
4336
4337
4338
4339
4340
4341
4342
4343
4344
4345
4346
4347
4348
4349
4350
4351
4352
4353
4354
4355
4356
4357
4358
4359
4360
4361
4362
4363
4364
4365
4366
4367
4368
4369
4370
4371
4372
4373
4374
4375
4376
4377
4378
4379
4380
4381
4382
4383
4384
4385
4386
4387
4388
4389
4390
4391
4392
4393
4394
4395
4396
4397
4398
4399
4400
4401
4402
4403
4404
4405
4406
4407
4408
4409
4410
4411
4412
4413
4414
4415
4416
4417
4418
4419
4420
4421
4422
4423
4424
4425
4426
4427
4428
4429
4430
4431
4432
4433
4434
4435
4436
4437
4438
4439
4440
4441
4442
4443
4444
4445
4446
4447
4448
4449
4450
4451
4452
4453
4454
4455
4456
4457
4458
4459
4460
4461
4462
4463
4464
4465
4466
4467
4468
4469
4470
4471
4472
4473
4474
4475
4476
4477
4478
4479
4480
4481
4482
4483
4484
4485
4486
4487
4488
4489
4490
4491
4492
4493
4494
4495
4496
4497
4498
4499
4500
4501
4502
4503
4504
4505
4506
4507
4508
4509
4510
4511
4512
4513
4514
4515
4516
4517
4518
4519
4520
4521
4522
4523
4524
4525
4526
4527
4528
4529
4530
4531
4532
4533
4534
4535
4536
4537
4538
4539
4540
4541
4542
4543
4544
4545
4546
4547
4548
4549
4550
4551
4552
4553
4554
4555
4556
4557
4558
4559
4560
4561
4562
4563
4564
4565
4566
4567
4568
4569
4570
4571
4572
4573
4574
4575
4576
4577
4578
4579
4580
4581
4582
4583
4584
4585
4586
4587
4588
4589
4590
4591
4592
4593
4594
4595
4596
4597
4598
4599
4600
4601
4602
4603
4604
4605
4606
4607
4608
4609
4610
4611
4612
4613
4614
4615
4616
4617
4618
4619
4620
4621
4622
4623
4624
4625
4626
4627
4628
4629
4630
4631
4632
4633
4634
4635
4636
4637
4638
4639
4640
4641
4642
4643
4644
4645
4646
4647
4648
4649
4650
4651
4652
4653
4654
4655
4656
4657
4658
4659
4660
4661
4662
4663
4664
4665
4666
4667
4668
4669
4670
4671
4672
4673
4674
4675
4676
4677
4678
4679
4680
4681
4682
4683
4684
4685
4686
4687
4688
4689
4690
4691
4692
4693
4694
4695
4696
4697
4698
4699
4700
4701
4702
4703
4704
4705
4706
4707
4708
4709
4710
4711
4712
4713
4714
4715
4716
4717
4718
4719
4720
4721
4722
4723
4724
4725
4726
4727
4728
4729
4730
4731
4732
4733
4734
4735
4736
4737
4738
4739
4740
4741
4742
4743
4744
4745
4746
4747
4748
4749
4750
4751
4752
4753
4754
4755
4756
4757
4758
4759
4760
4761
4762
4763
4764
4765
4766
4767
4768
4769
4770
4771
4772
4773
4774
4775
4776
4777
4778
4779
4780
4781
4782
4783
4784
4785
4786
4787
4788
4789
4790
4791
4792
4793
4794
4795
4796
4797
4798
4799
4800
4801
4802
4803
4804
4805
4806
4807
4808
4809
4810
4811
4812
4813
4814
4815
4816
4817
4818
4819
4820
4821
4822
4823
4824
4825
4826
4827
4828
4829
4830
4831
4832
4833
4834
4835
4836
4837
4838
4839
4840
4841
4842
4843
4844
4845
4846
4847
4848
4849
4850
4851
4852
4853
4854
4855
4856
4857
4858
4859
4860
4861
4862
4863
4864
4865
4866
4867
4868
4869
4870
4871
4872
4873
4874
4875
4876
4877
4878
4879
4880
4881
4882
4883
4884
4885
4886
4887
4888
4889
4890
4891
4892
4893
4894
4895
4896
4897
4898
4899
4900
4901
4902
4903
4904
4905
4906
4907
4908
4909
4910
4911
4912
4913
4914
4915
4916
4917
4918
4919
4920
4921
4922
4923
4924
4925
4926
4927
4928
4929
4930
4931
4932
4933
4934
4935
4936
4937
4938
4939
4940
4941
4942
4943
4944
4945
4946
4947
4948
4949
4950
4951
4952
4953
4954
4955
4956
4957
4958
4959
4960
4961
4962
4963
4964
4965
4966
4967
4968
4969
4970
4971
4972
4973
4974
4975
4976
4977
4978
4979
4980
4981
4982
4983
4984
4985
4986
4987
4988
4989
4990
4991
4992
4993
4994
4995
4996
4997
4998
4999
5000
5001
5002
5003
5004
5005
5006
5007
5008
5009
5010
5011
5012
5013
5014
5015
5016
5017
5018
5019
5020
5021
5022
5023
5024
5025
5026
5027
5028
5029
5030
5031
5032
5033
5034
5035
5036
5037
5038
5039
5040
5041
5042
5043
5044
5045
5046
5047
5048
5049
5050
5051
5052
5053
5054
5055
5056
5057
5058
5059
5060
5061
5062
5063
5064
5065
5066
5067
5068
5069
5070
5071
5072
5073
5074
5075
5076
5077
5078
5079
5080
5081
5082
5083
5084
5085
5086
5087
5088
5089
5090
5091
5092
5093
5094
5095
5096
5097
5098
5099
5100
5101
5102
5103
5104
5105
5106
5107
5108
5109
5110
5111
5112
5113
5114
5115
5116
5117
5118
5119
5120
5121
5122
5123
5124
5125
5126
5127
5128
5129
5130
5131
5132
5133
5134
5135
5136
5137
5138
5139
5140
5141
5142
5143
5144
5145
5146
5147
5148
5149
5150
5151
5152
5153
5154
5155
5156
5157
5158
5159
5160
5161
5162
5163
5164
5165
5166
5167
5168
5169
5170
5171
5172
5173
5174
5175
5176
5177
5178
5179
5180
5181
5182
5183
5184
5185
5186
5187
5188
5189
5190
5191
5192
5193
5194
5195
5196
5197
5198
5199
5200
5201
5202
5203
5204
5205
5206
5207
5208
5209
5210
5211
5212
5213
5214
5215
5216
5217
5218
5219
5220
5221
5222
5223
5224
5225
5226
5227
5228
5229
5230
5231
5232
5233
5234
5235
5236
5237
5238
5239
5240
5241
5242
5243
5244
5245
5246
5247
5248
5249
5250
5251
5252
5253
5254
5255
5256
5257
5258
5259
5260
5261
5262
5263
5264
5265
5266
5267
5268
5269
5270
5271
5272
5273
5274
5275
5276
5277
5278
5279
5280
5281
5282
5283
5284
5285
5286
5287
5288
5289
5290
5291
5292
5293
5294
5295
5296
5297
5298
5299
5300
5301
5302
5303
5304
5305
5306
5307
5308
5309
5310
5311
5312
5313
5314
5315
5316
5317
5318
5319
5320
5321
5322
5323
5324
5325
5326
5327
5328
5329
5330
5331
5332
5333
5334
5335
5336
5337
5338
5339
5340
5341
5342
5343
5344
5345
5346
5347
5348
5349
5350
5351
5352
5353
5354
5355
5356
5357
5358
5359
5360
5361
5362
5363
5364
5365
5366
5367
5368
5369
5370
5371
5372
5373
5374
5375
5376
5377
5378
5379
5380
5381
5382
5383
5384
5385
5386
5387
5388
5389
5390
5391
5392
5393
5394
5395
5396
5397
5398
5399
5400
5401
5402
5403
5404
5405
5406
5407
5408
5409
5410
5411
5412
5413
5414
5415
5416
5417
5418
5419
5420
5421
5422
5423
5424
5425
5426
5427
5428
5429
5430
5431
5432
5433
5434
5435
5436
5437
5438
5439
5440
5441
5442
5443
5444
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<?xml-stylesheet type="text/xml" href="fortune-xml-to-html.xsl"?>
<collection>
  <head/>
  <list>
    <fortune id="documentation-for-bl">
      <meta>
        <title>Documentation for BL</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="rindolf">buu: do you have a working manual of BL?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">s/working/up-to-date/</saying>
          <saying who="buu">It's kind of sort of up to date</saying>
          <saying who="perlygatekeeper">he means NO</saying>
          <saying who="buu">I've got some docs!</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">buu: do you have a functional spec? An architecture document? An interface whitepaper? A developer's guide?  A user manual? A "The BL-Book" and "BL - The Program"?</saying>
          <saying who="buu">rindolf: no, no, no no and no</saying>
      </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Discussing the merits of documenting one's pet languages on #perl</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="newline-prices">
      <meta>
        <title>Did anybody see my newline at Freenode's #perl channel.</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="rindolf">sleeper: why are people obsessed with one-liners?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">It takes 3 lines - OMG what a disaster!</saying>
          <saying who="Botje">rindolf: newline prices went up again</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Botje: I buy my newlines in the black market</saying>
          <saying who="dabreegster">Botje: again? drat.</saying>
          <me_is who="Botje">reports rindolf to the newline police</me_is>
          <saying who="dabreegster">Botje: I know about an... (underground) operation going on to pirate newlines.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Botje: I bribed a few cops in the newline police, but nice try.</saying>
          <saying who="dabreegster">Botje: Some crazy guys are trying to free newlines from  patents! They want to rid the market!</saying>
          <me_is who="cursor">gets called up to serve in the newline jury</me_is>
          <saying who="rindolf">I think we need to start a campaign to lift all restrictions  off newlines.</saying>
          <saying who="dabreegster">rindolf: La Resistance lives on!\n</saying>
          <saying who="Botje">I already stockpiled millions of newlines</saying>
          <saying who="dabreegster">Botje: We can have the one-liners destroyed by sundown</saying>
          <saying who="dabreegster">Not destroyed, but... TURNED INTO TWO-LINERS! Mwuhahaha!</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>The Cost of Newlines</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="verbing-the-verb">
      <meta>
        <title>Verbing the verb on Freenode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <me_is who="buu">Stevie[FP] with a plunger.</me_is>
          <me_is who="Stevie[FP]">looks for the verb in that sentence</me_is>
          <saying who="sili">i think you're missing a verb</saying>
          <saying who="Stevie[FP]">I think he's missing a brain.</saying>
          <saying who="sili">unless Stevie[FP] is a verb i don't know</saying>
          <saying who="sili">Stevie[FP]: v. see Stevie[FP]</saying>
          <saying who="Stevie[FP]">I am not a verb!</saying>
          <saying who="sili">you've been verbatized</saying>
          <me_is who="rindolf">Stevie[FP]'s Chris62vw</me_is>
          <saying who="Stevie[FP]">verbalized?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Stevie[FP]: verbalized is a different thing.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Stevie[FP]: it comes from "verbal".</saying>
          <saying who="Stevie[FP]">Verbified.</saying>
          <saying who="Stevie[FP]">Verbiated.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">stefan: verbificated.</saying>
          <saying who="Botje">verbed.</saying>
          <saying who="Stevie[FP]">Verberated.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Stevie[FP]: verberation is overrated.</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Verbing the Verb</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-human-xml">
      <meta>
        <title>Human XML</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="BarnacleBob">i hate xml.....</saying>
          <saying who="mcrawfor">&lt;response to="BarnacleBob"&gt;indeed&lt;/response&gt;</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">mcrawfor: :-)</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">mcrawfor++ # Nice joke</saying>
          <saying who="Botje">ehm. ouch.</saying>
          <saying who="Botje">rindolf: no!</saying>
          <saying who="Botje">&lt;postincrement comment="Nice joke"&gt;mcrawfor&lt;/postincrement&gt;</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Botje: LOL.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">&lt;postincrement comment="As you wish"&gt;Botje&lt;/postincrement&gt;</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Human XML</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="IRC-me-I-you-we">
      <meta>
        <title>/me (or I, you or we) is finding it amusing on Freenode's #perl.</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <me_is who="__you">fart</me_is>
          <me_is who="__you">say "oops"</me_is>
          <saying who="rindolf">__you: heh</saying>
          <me_is who="__you">kick rindolf</me_is>
          <saying who="__you">(rindolf, you're now being kicked by 435 people)</saying>
          <saying who="squeeks">__you need to go outside.</saying>
          <saying who="kspath">__you: Who owns you?</saying>
          <me_is who="__you">go outside</me_is>
          <me_is who="__you">are pwned by dazjorz</me_is>
          <me_is who="__you">is now known as we</me_is>
          <me_is who="we">are having a useless off-topic conversation right now</me_is>
          <saying who="rindolf">we: hahah</saying>
          <me_is who="we">we is now known as __you</me_is>
          <me_is who="__you">decide this channel is now useless and decide to leave</me_is>
          <me_is who="simcop2387">is now known as we</me_is>
          <me_is who="we">are not amused</me_is>
          <me_is who="__you">and I are together simcop2387</me_is>
          <me_is who="squeeks">is now known as _I_</me_is>
          <me_is who="_I_">need to tell __you something</me_is>
          <me_is who="__you">listen</me_is>
          <me_is who="simcop2387">is now known as we</me_is>
          <me_is who="we">need help</me_is>
          <me_is who="_I_">think we are getting a bit sick of the shenanigans</me_is>
          <saying who="rindolf">I'm so making a fortune out of it.</saying>
          <me_is who="we">want to be on bash.org</me_is>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>/me (or I, you or we) is finding it amusing</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="prog-lang-multi-lingual">
      <meta>
        <title>Multi-linguality</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="spyro_boy">Oh! I fixed it :D</saying>
          <saying who="spyro_boy">Yay :D</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">spyro_boy: congrats!</saying>
          <saying who="spyro_boy">Thanks for your help, everyone. :)</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">spyro_boy: now you should translate this script to O'Caml, Haskell, Perl 6.</saying>
          <saying who="spyro_boy">rindolf, huh?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">spyro_boy: Smalltalk, C, C++, Visual Basic...</saying>
          <saying who="spyro_boy">rindolf, translate to what?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">spyro_boy: to all these programming languages.</saying>
          <saying who="spyro_boy">haha</saying>
          <saying who="spyro_boy">rindolf, yeah.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Because a script in perl is Not Enough&lt;tm&gt;.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">spyro_boy: but see the Great Computer Language Shootout.</saying>
          <saying who="spyro_boy">rindolf, I tried learning C,C++, and Java, but I couldn't catch on.</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Mulit-linguality</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="chuck-norris-and-perl-6">
      <meta>
        <title>Chuck Norris and Perl 6</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="rindolf">wankit</saying>
          <saying who="buubot">Perl 6, unlike most people, is able to breathe in the vacuum of space. In fact, anything else would damage its respiratory system. Because of this, whenever it's visiting Earth, it wears a respirator, which resembles a kickass beard.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Heh heh.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Are all of buubot's wankit factoids about Perl 6?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">He should have some about Chuck Norris, too.</saying>
          <saying who="merlyn">fictional factoids about a partially designed, partially implemented, partially wanted language. :)</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">merlyn: yeah.</saying>
          <saying who="merlyn">Heh - those are all Chuck Norris quotes with s/Chuck/P6/</saying>
          <saying who="dabreegster">rindolf: It's written in Chuck Norris, right</saying>
          <saying who="merlyn">Chuck Norris writes code in Perl 6. Before Larry's done. And it works.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">merlyn: Chuck Norris wrote Perl 6 in a day but then destroyed all evidence with his bare hands, so no one will know his secrets.</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Chuck Norris and Perl 6</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="leonerd-life-readiness">
      <meta>
        <title>Is a Life Ready for Prime Time?</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="rindolf">LeoNerd: I need to get a life.</saying>
          <saying who="LeoNerd">They can be quite useful, but they do have a crazy amount of dependencies..</saying>
          <saying who="LeoNerd">And sometimes they can be a bit unstable - I think they're still beta-testing</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Is a Life Ready for Prime Time</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-for-elisabeth">
      <meta>
        <title>#perl for Elisabeth</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="simcop2387">Daveman: i use a ZED PEE EM to power my computer, its the ultimate YOU PEE ES</saying>
          <me_is who="Daveman">throws an Elisabeth at Simcop</me_is>
          <saying who="rindolf">Me catches the Elisabeth in mid-air.</saying>
          <saying who="SubStack">with an s, excellent choice</saying>
          <saying who="Daveman">:o</saying>
          <saying who="Daveman">Interception!</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Daveman: when my friend and I played Frisbee, we had an intra-tree move.</saying>
          <me_is who="SubStack">pirates Elisabeth and seeds a torrent</me_is>
          <saying who="rindolf">Which was unintended.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Elisabeth: are you here?</saying>
          <saying who="Daveman">HAHAHAHHA</saying>
          <saying who="Daveman">Substack++</saying>
          <me_is who="SubStack">wins at life.</me_is>
          <saying who="rindolf">An Elisabeth for all! And all for an Elisabeth.</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>#perl for Elisabeth</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="books-for-learning-perl">
      <meta>
        <title>Books for Learning Perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="Alexi5">what is a good book for getting up to speed with  perl?</saying>
          <saying who="merlyn">learning perl!</saying>
          <saying who="merlyn">intermediate perl!</saying>
          <saying who="nachos_">the camel is the _only book_</saying>
          <saying who="nachos_">:-P</saying>
          <me_is who="merlyn">bats nachos silly</me_is>
          <saying who="nachos_">:-(</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Alexi5: there's also Beginning Perl, which is available  online.</saying>
          <me_is who="f00li5h">saw that coming</me_is>
          <saying who="rindolf">You should learn Perl from "Learning Perl in 24 minutes  Unleashed!"</saying>
          <saying who="f00li5h">rindolf: ``Learning perl in 24 minutes Unleashed, in a  nutshell for dummies'' is the one i have</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">f00li5h: that's even better.</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Books for Learning Perl</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="vintage-hypertext">
      <meta>
        <title>Discussing Vintage Hypertext on Freenode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="rindolf">Are you using Firefox?</saying>
          <saying who="Imaginativeone">yeah...</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Interesting...</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Don't know.</saying>
          <saying who="[x86]">use a real browser... you know... like IE!</saying>
          <me_is who="[x86]">runs</me_is>
          <saying who="infi">IE 3 &gt; *</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">IE 2 &gt; *</saying>
          <saying who="infi">gopher!</saying>
          <saying who="infi">firefox can actually do gopher URLs</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">GNU info!</saying>
          <saying who="infi">feh.</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Vintage Hypertext</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="free-as-in-what">
      <meta>
        <title>Free as in what?</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="rindolf">ofer0: what's up?</saying>
          <saying who="ofer0">rindolf, nothing much. what's with you?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">ofer0: I restored my fonts to my nouveau-enabled X server.</saying>
          <saying who="jagerman">What is nouveau?</saying>
          <saying who="ofer0">jagerman, "new" in french ?</saying>
          <saying who="jagerman">Yes, I know it's a word, but what is the nouveau rindolf is talking about?</saying>
          <saying who="ofer0">I have no idea. rindolf ?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">jagerman, ofer0: it's the free-as-in-speech Nvidia drivers.</saying>
          <saying who="dmq">jagerman++ (Yes i know its a word).</saying>
          <saying who="pkrumins">free as in freedom</saying>
          <saying who="nainef">free as in richard stallman?</saying>
          <saying who="ofer0">free as in free Microsoft Windows Vista CDs</saying>
          <saying who="nainef">lol</saying>
          <saying who="pkrumins">vista--</saying>
          <saying who="ofer0">"What do you mean? Windows XP isn't free?" -- My neighbour.</saying>
          <saying who="Ikarus">ofer0: sounds familiar</saying>
          <saying who="ofer0">(when telling him that I can't format his hard-drive and re-install XP because he doesn't own a license)</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Free as in what?</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="the-only-prog-lang">
      <meta>
        <title>The Only Programming Language</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="rindolf">This reminds me of a fun discussion I had with my co-worker.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">He had a Firefox window open with an ActiveState page and I read "Perl, PHP, Python, Tcl, XSLT".</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">So he said: "Heresy! C is the only language."</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">So I thought for a moment and said "Intercal is the only language."</saying>
          <saying who="nanonyme">lol</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">And then "Real men write in Intercal."</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">"COME FROM" anyone?</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>The Only Programming Language</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="misleading-textbooks-about-perl">
      <meta>
        <title>Misleading Textbooks about Perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="rindolf">mortal5: you need to print the header.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">mortal5: print header()</saying>
          <saying who="mortal5">rindolf, ...I absolutely love it when my textbook leads me wrong..</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">mortal5: what is your textbook?</saying>
          <saying who="mortal5">"web wizards guide to perl and cgi"</saying>
          <saying who="mortal5">lol</saying>
          <saying who="mortal5">only the finest for the students at my university</saying>
          <saying who="buu">Hahaha</saying>
          <saying who="buu">That's awesome.</saying>
          <saying who="cfedde">Is this what we're teacing these days? Oh my.</saying>
          <saying who="somian">Blows the mind, doesn't it cfedde!</saying>
          <saying who="cfedde">somian: it does.</saying>
          <saying who="cfedde">I suppose that I'm commenting out of context. but why the mix and match.</saying>
          <saying who="f3ew">What mind?</saying>
          <saying who="cfedde">yours, with this .48</saying>
          <me_is who="somian">sends in CSI las vegas to clean up</me_is>
          <saying who="rindolf">mortal5: what is your university?</saying>
          <saying who="mortal5">rindolf, I'm too ashamed to tell :p</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">mortal5: heh.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">mortal5: is it bad?</saying>
          <saying who="mortal5">rindolf, no not really, we have a fairly well known cs dept</saying>
          <saying who="somian">Just so long as it isn't SUNY@BUFFALO</saying>
          <saying who="mortal5">it's just the teacher i'm using, she's a total flake</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Misleading Textbooks about Perl</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="perl-dongs-and-everything-in-between">
      <meta>
        <title>Perl, dongs and everything between on Freenode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <me_is who="CPAN">rating: Net-DNS-Check rated 4 stars by Ævar Arnfjörð Bjarmason</me_is>
          <saying who="rindolf">Oooh! avar has rated a module.</saying>
          <saying who="somian^{}">avar! WHAT ARE YOU DOING rating CPAN modules!?! Do you really think you are QUALIFIED to be doing that!?! ;-P</saying>
          <me_is who="avar">dongs somian^{}</me_is>
          <me_is who="somian^{}">laughs</me_is>
          <saying who="avar">somian^{}: I'M A PROFESSIONAL PERL PROGRAMMER</saying>
          <saying who="avar">I know PERL</saying>
          <saying who="somian^{}">But can u mAke teh weB with teh PERL!?</saying>
          <saying who="Earle_Martin">avar: I know DONGS</saying>
          <saying who="avar">Earle_Martin: SHOW ME</saying>
          <saying who="avar">Earle_Martin: Don't you mean DONG foo?</saying>
          <me_is who="somian^{}">has a silly grin on his face as he decends the stairs to make some fresh coffee</me_is>
          <saying who="avar">somian^{}: I maek teh web really well with PERL</saying>
          <saying who="Earle_Martin">/DCC MATRIX avar</saying>
          <saying who="avar">Earle_Martin: IT'S SO LARGE AND HARD!</saying>
          <saying who="Earle_Martin">avar: You think that's milk you're drinking?</saying>
          <saying who="f3ew">heh]</saying>
          <saying who="avar">I was wondering why it was so delcicious</saying>
          <saying who="avar">"I can't belive it's not jizz"</saying>
          <saying who="f3ew">Take the red pill</saying>
          <saying who="rfordinal_">blue!</saying>
          <saying who="Earle_Martin">I know PERL: Programmer's Elite Robotic Language</saying>
          <me_is who="avar">goes back to work</me_is>
          <saying who="Shadow42">I wonder what would happen if Neo was colorblind and took the wrong pill.</saying>
          <saying who="Earle_Martin">10 DO ROBOT DANCE</saying>
          <saying who="Earle_Martin">20 GOTO 10</saying>
          <saying who="avar">which doesn't involving discussing dongs in great detail, unfortunately</saying>
          <saying who="Earle_Martin">avar: the real world sucks</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Perl and Dongs on Freenode's #perl</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="n-uple-negative">
      <meta>
        <title>N-uple negative on Freenode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="polak">mauke: so how does that "translate" into eng</saying>
          <saying who="merlyn">"eng"?</saying>
          <saying who="mauke">I spe eng goo</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">mauke: I spe eng wel</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">I spe goo eng</saying>
          <saying who="sts">just a short question. besides personal preference is there any difference if you use if(! or unless(?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">sts: no.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">sts: they do the same thing.</saying>
          <saying who="Botje">sts: pfft. Real Men(tm) use unless(!...)</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Botje: heh.</saying>
          <saying who="sts">lol unless(! makes sense. thanks Botje, i'll rather use this one. =D</saying>
          <saying who="LeoNerd">For me it's a readability thing - I express what seems more likely</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Botje: File::HomeDir used to have a triple or quadruple negative in one of its test files.</saying>
          <saying who="Botje">unless(! $str !~ /(?!foo)/)</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Botje: heh</saying>
          <saying who="merlyn">whoa</saying>
          <saying who="merlyn">unless (!) makes no sense to me at all</saying>
          <saying who="Botje">of course not.</saying>
          <saying who="sts">Botje: wow!</saying>
          <saying who="Botje">it's still cool to confuse people with :]</saying>
          <saying who="LeoNerd">Heh.. Should just use !!! in there anywa y:)</saying>
          <saying who="merlyn">it's 7 characters too many</saying>
          <saying who="xand">some people don't understand double negatives</saying>
          <saying who="merlyn">I don't want no complaints!</saying>
          <saying who="Botje">xand: you mean don't not understnad?</saying>
          <saying who="LeoNerd">We don't know nobody who don't want no double-negatives</saying>
          <saying who="sts">Botje: what does (?!foo) do?</saying>
          <saying who="nanonyme">lol</saying>
          <saying who="xand">Botje: don't not misunderstand</saying>
          <saying who="mauke">Botje: that always executes the block</saying>
          <saying who="merlyn">there's an argument that can be successfully made that "I don't want no complaints" doesn't necessarily work logically</saying>
          <saying who="Botje">xand: oh, I don't not think I didn't not misunderstand you.</saying>
          <saying who="Botje">mauke: I know. it just looks cool.</saying>
          <saying who="mauke">and you want !($str !~ /.../)</saying>
          <saying who="xand">don't you?#</saying>
          <saying who="merlyn">so it might actually mean what people think they're meaning</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>N-uple negative on Freenode's #perl</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="my-os-is-better-than-yours">
      <meta>
        <title>My operating system is better than yours on Freenode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="Yaakov">LINUX &lt; WINDOWS XP</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Yaakov: Linux "&gt;" x Inf Windows XP</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Yaakov: DOS &gt; Linux</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Yaakov: CTSS &gt; Linux</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Yaakov: TOPS-10 &gt; Linux</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Multics &gt; Linux</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Multics &gt; *</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">I think I'll stop.</saying>
          <saying who="Supaplex">I think I'll /clear</saying>
          <saying who="Kobaz">CP/M &gt; *</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Kobaz: heh!</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Kobaz++</saying>
          <saying who="Kobaz">Heh.</saying>
          <saying who="Kobaz">CP/M was teh sexy.</saying>
          <saying who="Kobaz">How much more of an OS do you really need?</saying>
          <saying who="Kobaz">I still have my Apple II sitting in the corner.</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>My Operating System is Better than Yours</tagline>
        </info>

      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="many-types-of-wheels">
      <meta>
        <title>Freenode's #perl on the many types of Wheels.</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="rindolf">Mahmoud: what's up?</saying>
          <saying who="Mahmoud">rindolf, writing a CMS from scratch with perl.. really cool, making my own template engine</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Mahmoud: why???</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Mahmoud: use TT2.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Or whatever.</saying>
          <saying who="Mahmoud">rindolf, i dislike other CMS engines.. they are bloated and i don't trust them</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Mahmoud: TT2 is pure perl.</saying>
          <me_is who="Mahmoud">looks for TT2</me_is>
          <saying who="rindolf">Mahmoud: a CMS doesn't stay simple forever.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Mahmoud: and a CMS != Templating system.</saying>
          <saying who="Mahmoud">rindolf, the template engine is quite simple, it's similar to how SimpleMachines forum does its templates</saying>
          <saying who="Mahmoud">rindolf, just an external file with print 'foo'; commands</saying>
          <saying who="amnesiac">Mahmoud, TT2 is very powerful</saying>
          <saying who="amnesiac">Mahmoud, there are more templating systems, why not use any ofo the existing ones?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Mahmoud: please don't re-invent square wheels.</saying>
          <saying who="Mahmoud">heh..</saying>
          <saying who="NOTevil">oval!</saying>
          <me_is who="amnesiac">likes hexagonal wheels</me_is>
          <saying who="NOTevil">very small octagon wheels aren't too bad.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">amnesiac: triangular wheels are the best!</saying>
          <saying who="Shaine">i like star shaped wheels :/</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>On the Many Types of Wheels</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="code-golf-pyramid">
      <meta>
        <title>The Pyramid of Code Golf on Freenode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="ferret">LeoNerd: That was one of the first blobs of Java I wrote, it's allowed to be even more verbose and convoluted than Java normally is. ;P</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">ferret: link?</saying>
          <saying who="ferret">/las Cat.java</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">ferret: an implementation of the UNIX "cat" program in Java??</saying>
          <saying who="ferret">Actually, specifically the GNU cat program, and only a subset thereof.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">ferret: oh.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">ferret: how many lines did it take?</saying>
          <me_is who="f00li5h">heads off to #codegolf and tries to convince them to allow java submissions</me_is>
          <saying who="ferret">rindolf: It's mostly argument parser.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">ferret: I once implemented a parser for a subset of the Bourne Shell args, in really hideous ANSI C.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">f00li5h: good luck.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">f00li5h: Java Golf...</saying>
          <saying who="f00li5h">yeah, for sure!</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Java Golf would be longer than a non-Golfed Perl program.</saying>
          <saying who="f00li5h">rindolf: this is true</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">f00li5h: COBOL Golf!</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>The Pyramid of Code Golf</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="scary-perl-expertise">
      <meta>
        <title>Scary Perl Expertise on Freenode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="pasteling">"struggling intern" at 129.162.1.31 pasted "Here it is.." (220 lines, 5.7K) at http://sial.org/pbot/25279</saying>
          <saying who="strugglingintern">woohoo</saying>
          <saying who="strugglingintern">there it goes...</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">strugglingintern: oh my god!</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">strugglingintern: this code looks really bad.</saying>
          <saying who="strugglingintern">heh...</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">strugglingintern: if ($records eq 0 ) - don't you want ($records == 0)?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">strugglingintern: do you have unit tests?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">strugglingintern: and you should factor it better.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">strugglingintern: and possibly use Template Toolkit or something.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">strugglingintern: and you may have some HTML-injection (or XSS) problems.</saying>
          <saying who="Ani-_">rindolf: and probably SQL injection problems.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Ani-_: indeed!</saying>
          <saying who="strugglingintern">:-/</saying>
          <saying who="Ani-_">strugglingintern: really, ask them to review that code when they get back.</saying>
          <saying who="strugglingintern">alright</saying>
          <saying who="strugglingintern">I appreciate it anyway</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">strugglingintern: how long have you been programming perl?</saying>
          <saying who="strugglingintern">hah, about 3 months</saying>
          <saying who="strugglingintern">This isn't all my code ;)</saying>
          <saying who="strugglingintern">I'll look into it</saying>
          <saying who="strugglingintern">Thanks guys (and gals).</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">strugglingintern: you're welcome.</saying>
          <saying who="strugglingintern">not my choice ;)</saying>
          <saying who="strugglingintern">it's my 3rd week here :)</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Amazing how much more experienced programmers can tell a code is bad from a quick glance.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">It's a bit scary.</saying>
          <saying who="Ani-_">nothing amazing about it. It's called skill. :)</saying>
          <saying who="The_SB">yeh even I can tell it by a look</saying>
          <saying who="ology">It's not scary or amazing at all.</saying>
          <saying who="ology">It is called experience!</saying>
          <saying who="Ani-_">rindolf: what do you find scary?</saying>
          <saying who="Ani-_">rindolf: that experienced programmers can tell it? Or the code itself?</saying>
          <saying who="Ani-_">I would disagree on the first one but agree on the later! :)</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Ani-_: no, that I'm so experienced.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Ani-_: I hope I don't sound out as a snob.</saying>
          <saying who="ology">narcissism is fun</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">I should get a life.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Get a girlfriend, go to movies.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Instead all I do is write Perl.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">And chat about writing Perl.</saying>
          <saying who="Ikarus">a life, tried that, didn't mix with me</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Scary Perl Expertise</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-to-wikipedia">
      <meta>
        <title>(Human) Language Fun on Freenode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="rindolf">Let me wikipedia it.</saying>
          <saying who="f00li5h">so now wikipedia is a verb?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">f00li5h: it's gonna enter the OED.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">f00li5h: in English every verb can be nounified and every noun can be verbed.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">f00li5h: google is now a verb too.</saying>
          <saying who="f00li5h">rindolf: q{ just one second and i'll "computer" it up for you"}</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">f00li5h: LOL.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">f00li5h++</saying>
          <me_is who="rindolf">f00li5hes jql</me_is>
          <saying who="rindolf">I'm rindolfed</saying>
          <me_is who="f00li5h">finds it odd that irssi hilighted half of that word</me_is>
          <saying who="rindolf">f00li5h: it's much harder to do it in Hebrew.</saying>
          <saying who="jql">computer is from the verb compute already</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">jql: there's computerise though.</saying>
          <saying who="f00li5h">jql: but to computer something is different than computing it</saying>
          <saying who="f00li5h">COMPUTIFY!</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">jql: I once thought that the study of Objectivity is Objectivism.</saying>
          <saying who="f00li5h">"configurated"</saying>
          <saying who="jql">you shouldn't noun up a verb that's been nouned already</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">And the study of Objectivism is Objectivistalism.</saying>
          <saying who="Caelum">heh</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">And that study of that is Objectvisitalistalism.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">And to infinity it's Objectivist-elementalism!</saying>
          <saying who="f00li5h">eval: object .((ism)x100)</saying>
          <saying who="buubot">f00li5h: objectismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismism ismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismism ismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismi</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">With apologies to the 4 people who ever spoke Latin correctly.</saying>
          <saying who="jql">I can't help but read that as smi smi smi</saying>
          <saying who="Caelum">me too</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">jql: reminds me of Peter Pan. </saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>(Human) Language Fun on Freenode's #perl</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="how-many-clicks">
      <meta>
        <title>How many clicks must a one man do, before he selects what he wants on Freenode's #perl.</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="dkr">I use nedit, the only app with a quadruple-click feature</saying>
          <saying who="naquad">wtf is quadruple-click??? %-/</saying>
          <saying who="dkr">double-click selects a word, triple-click selects a line, quadruple-click select the whole document. heh :)</saying>
          <saying who="Patterner">quintuple-click selects the whole harddisk</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">hexuple-click selects the entire Intranet.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">And septapable-click selects the entire Internet</saying>
          <saying who="Patterner">How many for the multiverse?</saying>
          <saying who="naquad">people, who uses what editor?</saying>
          <saying who="arw">octaple click selects the known universe and nonaple the rest too.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">arw: how long does it takes these clicks to run?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">I think it's super-exponential complexity.</saying>
          <saying who="arw">rindolf: no matter, the universe is finite :)</saying>
          <saying who="arw">rindolf: only problem is, the information about your clicking will never reach the entire universe as it expands ;)</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>How many clicks must a one man do, before he selects what he wants?</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-meaning-of-I">
      <meta>
        <title>The meaning of "I" on Freenode's #perl.</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <me_is who="reflexive">huzzahs. His Perl books just arrived.</me_is>
          <saying who="apeiron">reflexive, Which?</saying>
          <saying who="reflexive">apeiron: IP and PBP. A couple others are still in transit.</saying>
          <saying who="apeiron">reflexive, Nice. :)</saying>
          <saying who="reflexive">:)</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">reflexive: what is IP?</saying>
          <saying who="reflexive">Intermediate Perl.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">reflexive: oh, OK.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Intellectual Perl.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Internet Perl.</saying>
          <saying who="kojiro">Invasive Perl</saying>
          <saying who="kspath">Idiot Perl</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Interactive Perl.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">I, Perl.</saying>
          <saying who="kojiro">Implementing Pies</saying>
          <saying who="kojiro">mmm, pie</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Improbably Perl</saying>
          <saying who="kspath">Ignoble Perl</saying>
          <saying who="kojiro">Probably Inverted</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">kojiro: :-)</saying>
          <saying who="kspath">Improper Perl</saying>
          <saying who="reflexive">Insidious Perl?</saying>
          <saying who="mst">ALL PERL IS IMPROPER</saying>
          <saying who="kojiro">API?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">In Soviet Russia all improper is Perl.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">APII.</saying>
          <saying who="qrck">impudent perl</saying>
          <saying who="kojiro">no, you never count words like "is"</saying>
          <saying who="kspath">Incoherent Perl</saying>
          <saying who="kojiro">ALL PERL IS INCOHERENT</saying>
          <saying who="reflexive">So true.</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>The Meaning of "I".</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-got-the-slashdot">
      <meta>
        <title>Got the Slashdot? on Freenode's #perl.</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="dkr">which is that ACME:: filter that obfusctaes all your source into whitespace? :)</saying>
          <saying who="preaction">Acme::Bleach</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">dkr: as preaction said it is Acme::Bleach.</saying>
          <saying who="dkr">moderation -1 Redundant</saying>
          <me_is who="dkr">smirks</me_is>
          <saying who="nws">get out you slashdotter</saying>
          <saying who="nws">jk</saying>
          <saying who="dkr">I got moderated overrated yesterday. I felt so loved</saying>
          <saying who="dkr">GumbyGumby: how often do you post to /.?</saying>
          <saying who="GumbyGumby">dkr: do it to system() a ssh command. Is doing that often.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">GumbyBRAIN: how often do you post dkr to Slashdot?</saying>
          <saying who="GumbyBRAIN">do it to list.</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Got the Slashdot?</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-whats-in-a-var-name">
      <meta>
        <title>What's in a variable-name? on Freenode's #perl.</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="WebDragon">y'all should spell it in uppercase it being an acronym and all</saying>
          <saying who="reaction">Yes, but we're *lazy*!</saying>
          <me_is who="WebDragon">*so* noticed ;)</me_is>
          <saying who="dkr">WebDragon: people that use CamelCase have no right to criticize about capitalization. :)</saying>
          <saying who="WebDragon">dkr: I hate underscores</saying>
          <me_is who="dkr">contemplates a source code filter that does lets you use spaces in var names by switch them to underscores at compile time</me_is>
          <saying who="preaction">black magic</saying>
          <saying who="mst">dkr: source filters are evil.</saying>
          <saying who="mst">dkr: in a bad way.</saying>
          <saying who="mst">dkr: hacking the compiler is much more fun, and evil in a useful way :)</saying>
          <saying who="mst">WebDragon: recommended perl style is $var_name</saying>
          <saying who="mst">WebDragon: it's also more readable than $varName or $VarName</saying>
          <saying who="mst">WebDragon: I'd recommend trying it for at least a month</saying>
          <saying who="mst">WebDragon: also note that it'll make life easier because you'll be consistent with the rest of perl code</saying>
          <saying who="WebDragon">mst: I was thinking more along the lines of filenames and irc nicknames than perl variables</saying>
          <saying who="mst">WebDragon: ah. fair enough :)</saying>
          <me_is who="WebDragon">doesn't use camelcase for perlvars</me_is>
          <saying who="mst">WebDragon: then I shall cease complaining :)</saying>
          <saying who="avar">${"Insert a descriptive essay about the variable here"}</saying>
          <saying who="WebDragon">rofl</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">avar: that won't work with 'use strict 'refs''</saying>
          <saying who="WebDragon">avar: I've seen things like that in RL and had recurring nightmares about them when I saw similar and sometimes worse things on thedailywtf.com</saying>
          <saying who="mst">rindolf: ${main::}{"Insert a descriptive essay about the variable here"} would :)</saying>
          <saying who="mst">rindolf: or you could just use %_ :)</saying>
          <saying who="dkr">my boss still occasionally uses vars like $x. still trying to beat that behavior out of him</saying>
          <me_is who="WebDragon">only uses x|y|z for cartesian coordinate math</me_is>
          <saying who="WebDragon">which, since I hardly ever do any of that, means the obvious</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>What's in a variable name?</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perlcafe-watched-the-fountain">
      <meta>
        <title>Watched the fountain on Freenode's #perlcafe</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="mofino">watched the Fountain</saying>
          <saying who="mofino">pretty cool'</saying>
          <saying who="q[ender]">yep</saying>
          <saying who="sili">what?</saying>
          <saying who="sili">you think The Fountain was cool?</saying>
          <saying who="sili">it was pretty artsy.</saying>
          <saying who="sili">I don't understand the necessity of repeating that same scene 50k times, though.</saying>
          <saying who="mofino">then you didn't get the movie</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">sili: if you repeat a scene 50k times, then the movie will have less entropy and will compress better.</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Watched the fountain on Freenode's #perlcafe</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="commitment-to-prog-langs">
      <meta>
        <title>Commiting yourself to a programming language on Freenode's #perl.</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="convivial">high-rez, but I don't know enough to help you because I am a newbie to perl programming and although I am in deep luv with perl and planning on marrying perl, I still have a lot to learn.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">convivial: you can only marry Perl if polygamy is legal where you live.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">convivial: because Perl and I are already married. :-D</saying>
          <saying who="convivial">why is that? i'm single :)</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">convivial: but Perl isn't.</saying>
          <saying who="convivial">oh crap !</saying>
          <saying who="convivial">all the good languages are already married :(</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">convivial: COBOL is still single.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">convivial: but I heard she's a total bitch.</saying>
          <saying who="convivial">ewwwwwwwwwwww, so is JCL and no one is knocking down either of their doors</saying>
          <saying who="convivial">rindolf, janet reno is single!</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">convivial: what kind of programming language is "Janet Reno"?</saying>
          <saying who="convivial">:)</saying>
          <saying who="convivial">she is a person</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">convivial: I'm not interested in people, I'm only interested in programming languages.</saying>
          <saying who="shaldannon">rindolf: you should try Ada</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">shaldannon: Ada 95?</saying>
          <saying who="shaldannon">yeah</saying>
          <saying who="shaldannon">the syntax of Pascal, the power of Basic and the friendliness of Java</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Commiting yourself to a programming language on Freenode's #perl.</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-using-encyclopedias">
      <meta>
        <title>Making use of Encyclopedias at FreeNode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <me_is who="shaldannon">beats iank over the head with an encyclopedia</me_is>
          <saying who="rindolf">shaldannon: all volumes of an encyclopedia?</saying>
          <saying who="dwu">rindolf: ha</saying>
          <saying who="shaldannon">rindolf: every last one of 'em</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">shaldannon: or perhaps a printout of the Wikipedia?</saying>
          <saying who="iank">rindolf: the whole bookcase</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">shaldannon: which Encyclopedia?</saying>
          <saying who="iank">rindolf: naw, just get the DVD :)</saying>
          <saying who="shaldannon">rindolf: I couldn't lift that</saying>
          <saying who="shaldannon">rindolf: Britanica</saying>
          <saying who="iank">You could lift the DVD!</saying>
          <saying who="dwu">shaldannon: Start. Working. Out.</saying>
          <saying who="shaldannon">dwu: oh?</saying>
          <saying who="dwu">shaldannon: Dude, being able to lift the Britannica is hot.</saying>
          <me_is who="iank">-&gt; the internet</me_is>
          <saying who="shaldannon">:-}</saying>
          <saying who="dwu">Seriously.</saying>
          <saying who="dwu">"I can hold the accepted knowledge of a percentage of the human race in my arms!" "Oh, god, that is so sexy."</saying>
          <saying who="shaldannon">hahahaha</saying>
          <saying who="dwu">Seriously. Smart is hot. Smart and funny... well.</saying>
          <me_is who="shaldannon">is hillarious ;)</me_is>
          <saying who="dwu">Uhm. kay.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">If you start reading the wikipedia lexicographically, will you ever finish at the rate articles are added there?</saying>
          <saying who="tarrybone">rindolf: yes (citation needed)</saying>
          <saying who="dwu">ha</saying>
          <saying who="shaldannon">lol @ tarrybone</saying>
          <saying who="dwu">tarrybone++</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">This reminds me of James Bond 1, where the girl there read an encyclopedia, instead of going to school.</saying>
          <saying who="yrlnry">Does anyone near Philadelphia want to come to my house and take away my 1920 Britannica?</saying>
          <saying who="shaldannon">rindolf: hey...when I was in elementary school, I used to read the World Book encyclopedia instead of doing my homework</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>One Encylcopedia Per Child - all volumes of it</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-production-wtf-code">
      <meta>
        <title>Production WTF Code on #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="dwave">anyone envy me? i'm refactoring production code that uses the fact that "" is defined, as a hash key.</saying>
          <saying who="dwave">if (ref $ref-&gt;{""} ne "ARRAY") {</saying>
          <saying who="dwave">$ref-&gt;{""} = [$ref-&gt;{""},$_];</saying>
          <saying who="dwave">} else {</saying>
          <saying who="dwave">$ref-&gt;{""} = [@{$ref-&gt;{""}},$_];</saying>
          <saying who="dwave">}</saying>
          <saying who="dwave">:(</saying>
          <saying who="iank">hey, that looks like fun.</saying>
          <saying who="integral">Has the author been lynched yet?</saying>
          <me_is who="integral">would have used "\0" :-P</me_is>
          <saying who="dwave">the best of it all, is that it's an XML parser</saying>
          <saying who="mauke">$ref-&gt;{""} = [ref $ref-&gt;{""} eq "ARRAY" ? @{$ref-&gt;{""}} : $ref-&gt;{""}, $_]; # fixed</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">dwave: does this XML parser makes use of an existing XML parser from CPAN?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">dwave: or does it do everything from scratch?</saying>
          <saying who="dwave">rindolf: everything from scratch :)</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">dwave: nice!</saying>
          <saying who="dwave">i'm trying to get rid of it</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">dwave: re-inventing square wheels.</saying>
          <saying who="dwave">there's a home made unicode lib too</saying>
          <saying who="dwave">!</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">dwave: ouch!</saying>
          <saying who="shaldannon">nice</saying>
          <saying who="iank">Brilliant!</saying>
          <saying who="shaldannon">dwave: I suggest a dailywtf.com submission</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">dwave: yeah, I second shaldannon</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Production WTF Code on #perl</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-versions-of-software">
      <meta>
        <title>Versions of Software on FreeNode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="bp31416">rindolf: I command you both, to uninstall it, and install SuSE10.2 =P</saying>
          <saying who="jagerman">"versions" are so annoying.</saying>
          <saying who="jagerman">"I use Linux 10.2!"</saying>
          <saying who="iank">jagerman: I had a friend who insisted the answer to the question "What version of the kernel are you running?" was "gnome".</saying>
          <saying who="jagerman">eval: $POE::Kernel::VERSION</saying>
          <saying who="buubot">jagerman: 1.2173</saying>
          <saying who="jagerman">\o/</saying>
          <saying who="Terminus">heh, a friend of mine only remembers me running ximian a few years ago and he keeps on asking me, "why don't you run ximian again?" where ximian == OS for him.</saying>
          <saying who="bp31416">jagerman: could be worse lingo-wise, in tech-support many folks asking on Q about 'THEIR internet' isn't working, or 'does it have internet installed?', I .....like.... sir.... when did you manage to buy the internet in whole? ....... ahhhh... the internet is not a socket you plug in any of the ports sir</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Versions of Software</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="extreme-programming-as-a-religion">
      <meta>
        <title>The Holy Extreme Programming in Freenode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="rindolf">"We're doing XP [= Extreme Programming] here, so you need to know Ruby, you need to know Design Patterns and you need to know Refactoring."</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">XP may have become a religion.</saying>
          <saying who="ew73">I Refactored yesterday!</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">ew73: using which refactoring pattern?</saying>
          <saying who="ew73">Leviticus 13:22</saying>
          <saying who="Somni">well you will keep refactoring until you get it right!</saying>
          <me_is who="rindolf">extracts the ew73 method.</me_is>
          <saying who="rindolf">ew73: this is one of my favourite refactoring patterns.</saying>
          <me_is who="ew73">idly looks up said passage, just to see if it's any good.</me_is>
          <saying who="integral">What do you have to know to claim you know refactoring?</saying>
          <saying who="integral">How to click buttons in the right Eclipse menu?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">integral: the code is in Ruby.</saying>
          <saying who="integral">Ruby is too cool to be in Eclipse?</saying>
          <saying who="ew73">integral: One time, I moved all this stuff to another subroutine!</saying>
          <saying who="ew73">Lev. 13:22. And if it spread, he shall judge him to have the leprosy:</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">integral: no, but you cannot refactor Ruby code automatically using Eclipse.</saying>
          <saying who="integral">One time I wrote all this code, but when I was about to go home I found I'd left my brain at home! LOLZ</saying>
          <saying who="integral">ew73: good butter advert in that</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Extreme Programming as a Religion</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="be-here-or-not-be-here">
      <meta>
        <title>To be here or not to be here on Freenode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="rindolf">Hi all.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">LeoNerd: here?</saying>
          <saying who="LeoNerd">rindolf: Maybe</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">LeoNerd: "be here or be not here - there is no maybe"</saying>
          <saying who="LeoNerd">:)</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">LeoNerd: a.k.a the law of the exclusion of the middle.</saying>
          <saying who="dwu">I think Yoda phrased that one best.</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>To be here or not to be here on Freenode's #perl</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-monkey-business">
      <meta>
        <title>Monkey Business at Freenode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="perlmonkey">thats just...mental</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">perlmonkey2: still here?</saying>
          <saying who="perlmonkey2">rindolf: hi</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">perlmonkey2: hi.</saying>
          <saying who="perlmonkey">phew</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">perlmonkey2: now we have two Perl monkeys.</saying>
          <saying who="perlmonkey2">hah</saying>
          <saying who="perlmonkey2">good stuff</saying>
          <saying who="perlmonkey2">You can never have too many.</saying>
          <saying who="PeaceNLove">To produce good stuff like Shakespeare's works, we need an infinite number of monkeys</saying>
          <saying who="perlmonkey">we're starting a monkey clan</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">PeaceNLove: heh.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">PeaceNLove: and to write like a monkey we need a million Shakespeares.</saying>
          <saying who="PeaceNLove">perlmonkey, reproduce and multiply, God be with you</saying>
          <saying who="perlmonkey2">PeaceNLove: You can, of course, do anything with an infinite number of perl monkeys.</saying>
          <saying who="perlmonkey2">PeaceNLove: Actually a million monkeys on a million typewriters would most probably have not created Hamlet if they started at the beginning of the Universe.</saying>
          <saying who="PeaceNLove">perlmonkey2, that's fine, the Universe has not ended yet, they have time </saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Monkey Business at Freenode's #perl</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-who-youre-gonna-call">
      <meta>
        <title>Who you're gonna call on Freenode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="rindolf">Hmmm... xchat-perl is gone.</saying>
          <saying who="f00li5h">OH NOES! ## what's that for then?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Who you're gonna call? Bug-busters!!</saying>
          <saying who="Khisanth">rindolf: never existed, unless you are using an rpm based system</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Khisanth: I am.</saying>
          <saying who="f00li5h">I AINT AFRAID OF NO BUG!</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">f00li5h: heh.</saying>
          <saying who="f00li5h">when there's something wierd and in your code base, who you gonna call?</saying>
          <saying who="railbait">f00li5h: The police?</saying>
          <saying who="f00li5h">railbait: BUG BUSTERS!</saying>
          <saying who="f00li5h">we test it with science then blow it up</saying>
          <saying who="f00li5h">... or is that someone else</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Who you're gonna call?</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-tribute-to-the-prisoner">
      <meta>
        <title>Tribute to the Prisoner on Freenode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="Hazard">How do I look up @- in the perldocs?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Hazard: perldoc perlvar</saying>
          <saying who="Hazard">rindolf: Thanks.</saying>
          <saying who="Daveman">perldoc rindolf</saying>
          <saying who="Hazard">I don't know what I'd do without IRC.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Daveman: I am not a pragma! I'm a free man!</saying>
          <saying who="Hazard">I couldn't even google that.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">use Daveman (qw(silliness));</saying>
          <me_is who="jetscreamer">sends rindolf back to the village</me_is>
          <saying who="rindolf">jetscreamer: is it a Perlisoner village where everyone becomes a pragma?</saying>
          <saying who="jetscreamer">and lots of perlBalloons</saying>
          <saying who="Daveman">gumbybrain, how do i make teh web wit shlomi!?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">jetscreamer: Perloons.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">jetscreamer: Perlunatics.</saying>
          <saying who="apeiron">Perlarks.</saying>
          <saying who="Daveman">perlaugh </saying>
      </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Tribute to the Prisoner</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="the-messiah-of-perl">
      <meta>
        <title>The Messiah of Perl on Freenode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="ubajas">Technically, my first language was Turbo Pascal, but I started over with Perl 10 years later (not having programmed in the meantime). I'm obviously damaged goods.</saying>
          <saying who="iank">ubajas: heh, I read that as "I started with (perl 10) (years later)" instead of "I started with perl (10 years later)" :)</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Perl 10!</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Perl for the Fourth Millenium.</saying>
          <saying who="jagerman">I thought Perl 6 was supposed to be timeless</saying>
          <saying who="ubajas">iank: Maybe I should have added a comma. :-]</saying>
          <saying who="jagerman">Perl ∞</saying>
          <saying who="iank">perl6 has existed since the beginning of time, or at least it will have existed since then once $Larry finds a time machine.</saying>
          <saying who="simcop2387">iank: i'm sorry but larry is the prophet i am the messanger! i will be the one to take it back!</saying>
          <saying who="iank">WHAT.</saying>
          <saying who="simcop2387">iank: its MY TIME MACHINE!</saying>
          <me_is who="iank">smacks simcop2387 around</me_is>
          <saying who="jagerman">iank: So it'll be like that Star Trek episode, where they say that the development of computers are caused by time travel from the future?</saying>
          <saying who="jagerman">Except that they were too stupid (like most Voyager writers) to get their facts right, and thought computers started in the 70s</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>The Messiah of Perl</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-one-rindolf-each">
      <meta>
        <title>One rindolf Each on Freenode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="milardovich">with strict it say me this:</saying>
          <saying who="milardovich">Global symbol "$lorem" requires explicit package name at split.pl line 3.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">milardovich: use "my $lorem = "</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">milardovich: my is your friend.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">pun not intended.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">my is my friend.</saying>
          <saying who="dwu">Preferably with a real value after "= " ^.^</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">dwu: he already has that.</saying>
          <saying who="milardovich">that works with my rindolf</saying>
          <saying who="milardovich">thaks you!!!</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">milardovich: you're welcome.</saying>
          <saying who="milardovich">:)</saying>
          <saying who="ubajas">I wish I had a rindolf too. :-\</saying>
          <saying who="milardovich">people here are "nicer" than on #php :P</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">ubajas: I'm mass-produced at Chines sweat-shops.</saying>
          <saying who="ubajas">hehe</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">ubajas: they sell me for 30 bucks a piece.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">milardovich: I've heard some horrible stories about ##php.</saying>
          <saying who="milardovich">perl rulz x)</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">milardovich: what brings you to Perl?</saying>
          <saying who="simcop2387">rindolf: #php apparantly</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">simcop2387: heh.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">simcop2387++</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>One rindolf Each on Freenode's #perl</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-are-you-being-verbed">
      <meta>
        <title>Are you being verbed on Freenode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="rindolf">cl1: what do you do at work?</saying>
          <saying who="cl1">i write code :D</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">cl1: naturally.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">cl1: to do what?</saying>
          <saying who="cl1">right now at this contract, i'm working with .net, c#, asp.net and pl/sql</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">cl1: sounds enterprisey.</saying>
          <saying who="BinGOs">please don't turn enterprise into a verb.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">BinGOs: enterprisey is an adjective, not a verb.</saying>
          <saying who="LeoNerd">Enterprizationaliseation?</saying>
          <saying who="BinGOs">okay.</saying>
          <saying who="cl1">lol @ enterprisey</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">GumbyBRAIN: BinGOs me!</saying>
          <saying who="GumbyBRAIN">i tend to be good, it doesn't want me to buy an island utopia (you'll get used to bother me.</saying>
          <saying who="BinGOs">But it is a noun and no more.</saying>
          <saying who="BinGOs">mmmkay.</saying>
          <saying who="dwu">BinGOs: Actually, it's also an adjective. Even without "y".</saying>
          <saying who="BinGOs">I HATE YOU ALL.</saying>
          <me_is who="dwu">grin</me_is>
          <saying who="BinGOs">CRITIQUE IS DEFINITELY A FUCKING NOUN.</saying>
          <saying who="dwu">It's also a verb.</saying>
          <saying who="BinGOs">NO IT ISN'T</saying>
          <saying who="simcop2387">BinGOs: i shall critique your use of critique</saying>
          <saying who="BinGOs">JUST BECAUSE SOME DAMNED YANKEE SCUM DECIDE IT IS, DOES NOT MAKE IT SO.</saying>
          <saying who="dwu">It's been used since the 18th century.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">BinGOs: dwued!</saying>
          <saying who="BinGOs">I refer you to my earlier hate.</saying>
          <saying who="dwu">I refer you to your fail.</saying>
          <saying who="icke">not earlier than 18th century</saying>
          <saying who="dwu">I really shouldn't. It's mean. But I will.</saying>
          <saying who="dwu">Because I'm mean.</saying>
          <saying who="dwu">icke: Hence "since".</saying>
          <saying who="dwu">'criticises'.</saying>
          <saying who="BinGOs">My fail-gun appears to firing backwards. Damn thing.</saying>
          <saying who="dwu">Your fail gun is... failing?</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Are you being verbed on Freenode's #perl</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="how-much-perl-do-you-need">
      <meta>
        <title>How much Perl do you need at Freenode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="shishirm1">is pop3 module avaliable only in perl 5?</saying>
          <saying who="jernster">are you saying you use something other than 5?</saying>
          <saying who="icke">perl 4 didn't even have modules</saying>
          <saying who="jernster">heh</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">shishirm1: do you want to use it with Perl 4?</saying>
          <saying who="shishirm1">oh ok sorry i am comlete nooob!! so i am just asking you guys</saying>
          <saying who="shishirm1">nope is perl 5 a standard now?</saying>
          <saying who="jernster">yes</saying>
          <saying who="shishirm1">ok great...</saying>
          <saying who="jernster">:)</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">shishirm1: Perl 4 is unmaintained, unloved, deprecated, not recommended, and dead - D. E. D. - DEAD!</saying>
          <saying who="simcop2387-lap">perl 4 is an EXPERL!</saying>
          <saying who="simcop2387-lap">all statements that perl4 is a going concern are thus inoperative.</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>How much Perl do you need at Freenode's #perl</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-conditional-inheritance-refactoring">
      <meta>
        <title>Conditional-to-Inheritance Refactoring on Freenode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="edeca">Hrm. More infernal questions, mainly because I am trying to make my perl prettier and contain less nasty if's. I have $foo and $bar which are obtained from split(/ /, 'kitten loving'). But I don't want undef if the split fails, I'd rather '' for $bar or both. What's the nicest way to do that?</saying>
          <saying who="Khisanth">($foo, $bar) = map { $_ // "" } split / /, $str; # 5.10 version :)</saying>
          <saying who="edeca">Noo 5.10! :)</saying>
          <saying who="Khisanth">($foo, $bar) = map { defined $_ ? $_ : "" } split / /, $str; # probably some other shorter ways too</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">edeca: [bad idea] you can also try using the conditional-&gt;inheritance refactoring.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">:-)</saying>
          <me_is who="Khisanth">pours boiling coffee on rindolf</me_is>
          <saying who="rindolf">Khisanth: I hate coffee, but I guess I deserved it.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">That was a joke, of course.</saying>
          <saying who="Khisanth">you weren't really supposed to like having boiling anything poured on you but I guess you are into the kinkier stuff</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Conditional-to-Inheritance Refactoring on Freenode's #perl</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-geek-love">
      <meta>
        <title>Geek love on Freenode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="rindolf">rbastic: QBasic was the sh*t!</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">rbastic: well, not really.</saying>
          <saying who="rbastic">rindolf: yup, that language is responsible for me having gotten into programming to begin with.</saying>
          <saying who="rbastic">8 yrs old and writing qbasic scripts with QBasic for Dummies by my side</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">rbastic: I started when I was 10.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">rbastic: I know some people who started much later.</saying>
          <saying who="talexb">Late bloomer .. didn't start till I was 15.</saying>
          <saying who="Zoffix">heh, I started at 14... I could not have a computer before that</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">rbastic: but I know a girl who started programming when she was 6.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Or was it 8?</saying>
          <saying who="Zoffix">rindolf, CAN HAS PHONE NUMBER?!</saying>
          <saying who="rbastic">lol</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Zoffix: NO CAN!</saying>
          <saying who="Zoffix">:(</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Zoffix: only have her MSN.</saying>
          <saying who="Zoffix">gimmegimmegimme</saying>
          <saying who="talexb">Heh.</saying>
          <saying who="Zoffix">:)</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Zoffix: LOL.</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Geek Love</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-grand-uni-prog-lang">
      <meta>
        <title>The Grand Unified Programming Language</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="rbastic">Juerd: eh in today's world of heavy JS on the clientside, i think it makes a little more sense to use the same lang. everywhere</saying>
          <saying who="Juerd">rbastic: JS on the client side is because often it's the only option the universe provides.</saying>
          <saying who="rbastic">Juerd: from a business perspective, you reduce the complexity and potential difficulties in finding new hires with the same skillset</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">rbastic: have you heard of RJS?</saying>
          <saying who="Juerd">rbastic: On the server side, however, you have great freedom.</saying>
          <saying who="rbastic">rindolf: no, what's that?</saying>
          <saying who="Caelum">larry wants perl6 to run on javascript :)</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">rbastic: "One Language; and One Sayings".</saying>
          <saying who="Juerd">rbastic: Exactly. I would never hire a server side programmer who knows *only* Javascript, and is too stupid to learn whatever we're using on the server side.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">rbastic: my translation to a sentence from the Tower of Babel myth.</saying>
          <saying who="rbastic">Juerd: i'll agree with that also. any real programmer knows or has at least coded in half a dozen languages before</saying>
          <saying who="Juerd">From a business perspective, you should avoid crap coders at all cost.</saying>
          <saying who="Juerd">Knows *or* has coded... Hmmm...!</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">rbastic: though according to what most scholars believe it was not about using one language but rather thinking the same.</saying>
          <saying who="Juerd">I hope they haven't coded in half a dozen languages without knowing them.</saying>
          <saying who="Juerd">That'd be scary.</saying>
          <saying who="zshzn">Reality is scary, Juerd</saying>
          <saying who="talexb">Hmm, BASIC, FORTRAN, COBOL, assembler, C, more assembler, C, Pascal ... Perl!</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>The Grand Unified Programming Language</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-can-i-haz-fast-compiler">
      <meta>
        <title>Can I haz a fast compiler on Freenode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="rindolf">rbastic: now I'm working with C++.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">rbastic: I found out that my project compiles really quickly.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">rbastic: under 5 or 10 minutes on a P4-2.4GHz with 1 GB of RAM.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">rbastic: maybe KDE is making g++ look bad.</saying>
          <saying who="rbastic">rindolf: yeah, i'm not a big KDE fan</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">rbastic: actually I'm using KDE-3.5.8 here.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">rbastic: I was talking about the compilation speed of KDE apps and KDE itself.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">rbastic: possibly because each file has half-a-gazillion headers.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">My C++ code is a server one, so we don't have too many deps.</saying>
          <saying who="rbastic">yeah, isn't there a way to cache header files? ie. in their "compiled" form?</saying>
          <saying who="rbastic">or is that something I'm remembering from some other programming language that purported to build on top of C?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">rbastic: MSVC has that.</saying>
          <saying who="rbastic">ahh, nods</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">rbastic: no, Visual C++ has precompiled headers.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">rbastic: I remember that I kept deleting them.</saying>
          <saying who="rbastic">yeah, couldn't remember</saying>
          <saying who="rbastic">lol</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Pascal compiles very quickly.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">That's one of the things I enjoyed in Delphi.</saying>
          <saying who="rbastic">ugh, the app i'm been maintaining in Java was originally a fat client/server desktop app, written in Delphi</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">rbastic: ah.</saying>
          <saying who="rbastic">i remember booting up the old app for the first time, and being amazed at how slow it was</saying>
          <saying who="rbastic">eventually, i had to duplicate a feature in the Java code and i wasn't sure how it was implemented before</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">rbastic: you mean the Java app is faster? :S</saying>
          <saying who="rbastic">so being as i had no Delphi experience, and the newer Delphi environments made NO sense to me at all, i just opened up the SQL Server query analyzer</saying>
          <saying who="rbastic">rindolf: yes, but only b/c the Delphi programmer was an idiot, issuing queries over and over again needlessly</saying>
          <saying who="rbastic">rindolf: if you could've seen the MSSQL Performance Analyzer or whatever, it was basically just.. Query1, Query2, Query3, Query1, Query2, Query3, repeat.</saying>
          <saying who="rbastic">it was probably the worst ive ever seen in my life.. belongs on www.thedailywtf.com </saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Can I haz a fast compiler</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-think-too-much">
      <meta>
        <title>I think too much - therefore I blog too much on Freenode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="rindolf">scrottie: hi.</saying>
          <saying who="scrottie">hi rindolf!</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">scrottie: are you the scrottie from use.perl.org?</saying>
          <saying who="scrottie">yeah.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">scrottie: ah, nice to meet you.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Well, chat with you on IRC at least.</saying>
          <me_is who="scrottie">cowers from the swinging fist probably coming his way</me_is>
          <saying who="rindolf">scrottie: I'm "Shlomi%20Fish"</saying>
          <saying who="scrottie">oh, heh, thanks</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">It's a curse.</saying>
          <saying who="scrottie">hmm. i vaguely remember interesting stuff from you but can't honestly place what.</saying>
          <saying who="scrottie">I know I've seen you around here before too.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Yeah, my use.perl.org blog is mostly technical and perl-related.</saying>
          <saying who="scrottie">I post on use.perl.org entirely too much.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">So it may be a bit boring.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Sometimes it's a bit philosophical.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">scrottie: yes.</saying>
          <saying who="scrottie">heh. and mine is offensively off-topic.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">scrottie: I have other blogs.</saying>
          <saying who="scrottie">I've posted to livejournal twice!</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>I think too much - therefore I blog too much</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-how-intrusive">
      <meta>
        <title>"How intrusive do you want your text to be?" on Freenode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="rindolf">Can we add styles like &lt;b&gt;, &lt;i&gt;, etc.?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Or colours?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Or blink?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Or images?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Or flash applets?</saying>
          <saying who="scrottie">&lt;banner&gt;!</saying>
          <saying who="alanhaggai">rindolf: No I think. Google's Web Application does not allow them. It is just a &lt;textarea&gt;. </saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>How intrusive do you want your text to be?</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-sharp-pearl">
      <meta>
        <title>Freenode's #pearl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="rindolf">scrottie: you are a native English speaker right?</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">scrottie: do you know #linguistics ?</saying>
          <saying who="scrottie">not familiar with #linguistics, yes, I am a native English speaker, but my spelling is atr... my spelling is terrible.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">atrocious?</saying>
          <saying who="scrottie">yeah, that</saying>
          <saying who="scrottie">I have an xterm dedicated to dict/spell</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">scrottie: spelling is probably easy to fix using aspell.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">scrottie: heh.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">scrottie: I'm using xchat which has an red-line for spelling mistakes.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Very useful.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">Too bad I'm using British spelling where it sometimes misbehaves.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">aspell, I mean.</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Freenode's #pearl</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-lame-even">
      <meta>
        <title>"Lame even" on Freenode's #perl</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="rindolf">A lot of ise's [in Aspell's British Spelling checker] are false  positivies.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">positives even.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">People who say $minor_spelling_correction even, are lam.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">lame even.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">I never get tired of these self-referential jokes.</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Lame even</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="third-sharp-perl-reich">
      <meta>
        <title>The Third #perl Reich (on Freenode #perl).</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
        <body>
          <saying who="scrottie">The tech side was there... but I was stuck with my fucking graphics I did in crayon. I kid you not. Crayon.</saying>
          <saying who="scrottie">It was a cry for help.</saying>
          <saying who="scrottie">Programmers will work with each other on fun projects, but graphic designers never get involved in stuff like that.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">scrottie: ah.</saying>
          <saying who="scrottie">then there's kingdomofloathing.com... stick figures.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">scrottie: there are some graphic designers who contribute to KDE, GNOME, etc.</saying>
          <saying who="scrottie">fuck graphic artists. we should round them all up and burn them.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">scrottie: heh.</saying>
          <saying who="scrottie">okay, they can live.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">scrottie: scrotitler!</saying>
          <saying who="scrottie">the rest get burnt though.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">"He who starts by burning graphics desginers will end up burning programmers."</saying>
          <saying who="scrottie">only the ASP and PHP programmers... then we'll see where things are at and re-evaluate the plan.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">First they came to the graphics designers...</saying>
          <saying who="Khisanth">then they came for more graphics designers</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">scrottie: I knew some very nice PHP programmers.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">And VB ones.</saying>
          <saying who="scrottie">yeah, me too. real shame.</saying>
          <saying who="rindolf">scrottie: I still know some PHP programmers.</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>The Third #perl Reich (on Freenode #perl).</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="the-name-bunny">
      <meta>
        <title>The Name "Bunny"</title>
      </meta>
      <irc>
          <body>
<joins who="B-rabbit">has joined #perl</joins>
<saying who="rindolf">B-rabbit? I know a B-rat on #linguistics.</saying>
<saying who="B-rabbit">rindolf, cool =]</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">B-rabbit: ok.</saying>
<saying who="B-rabbit">my full name is bunny rabbit bt w :)</saying>
<saying who="B-rabbit">hehe</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">B-rabbit: ah.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">B-rabbit: "bunny" is a female name.</saying>
<saying who="B-rabbit">lol</saying>
<saying who="pippijn">rindolf: correct</saying>
<saying who="pippijn">I know a bunny</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Or a Playboy bunny.</saying>
<saying who="ik">rindolf: bunny is a stripper name</saying>
<saying who="pippijn">friends call her bun</saying>
<saying who="ik">pippijn: is she a stripper?</saying>
<saying who="B-rabbit">rindolf, i am a male lol x sorry to disappoint u</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">"IRC: Where men are men, women are men, and the kids are FBI agents."</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">B-rabbit: ok, no problem.</saying>
<saying who="ik">pippijn: she should change her name</saying>
<saying who="pippijn">ik: it doesn't hurt her</saying>
<saying who="ik">pippijn: right, but she's violating a fundamental law</saying>
<saying who="ik">pippijn: she either needs to change her name or become a stripper</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ik: I think the other option is better.</saying>
<saying who="pippijn">ik: she'd probably become a stripper rather than changing her name</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pippijn: LOL.</saying>
<saying who="ik">rindolf: yeah, but you're creepy</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I think I'll make a fortune out of it.</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>The Name "Bunny"</tagline>
        </info>
      </irc>
    </fortune>
<fortune id="the-anti-school-anti">
        <meta>
            <title>The Anti-School nazi</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="dazjorz">Hi rindolf :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Hi dazjorz </saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: what&#39;s up?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: No Tests for You?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">No *more</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">No more tests :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: No more tests for you!!! For three months!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: nice!</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">:D</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">Two, I think</saying>
</body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>The anti-School nazi</tagline>
        </info>
</irc>
</fortune>
<fortune id="emulating-a-newbie-on-perl">
        <meta>
            <title>Emulating a Newbie on Perl</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="yrlnry">Hi, I heard that Perl is just HTML with some sort of macro preprocessor attached.  So I thought you would be the right people to ask about whether there is a way to make the submitted value on an &lt;input type=submit&gt; different from the visible label on the button.</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">Thanks in advance.</saying>
<me_is who="Roderick">tars and feathers yrlnry.</me_is>
<saying who="yrlnry">Hi, Roderick!  How&#39;s the kid?</saying>
<saying who="Somni">you have been misinformed, sir; Perl is just a regex engine with named variables</saying>
<saying who="ne2k__">yrlnry: that is possibly one of the oddest questions I have ever heard</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">ne2k__: What&#39;s odd about &quot;How&#39;s the kid?&quot;</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">You need to get out more, seriously.</saying>
<saying who="ne2k__">yrlnry: I meant the original question</saying>
<saying who="Roderick">Congratulations, I hope it&#39;s going well.</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">Do you know that Jewish folktale about the man who lives in a tiny hut with his wife and kids and they can&#39;t stand the crowding any more, so they go to the rabbi for advice, and the rabbit suggests that they bring the chickens, goat, and cow into the house too?</saying>
<saying who="ne2k__">yrlnry: not that it has anything to do with perl, but the &lt;input&gt; tag in HTML has both &quot;name&quot; and &quot;value&quot; attributes. the value is what gets shown in the browser typically.</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">ne2k__: yes, and the value is also what is submitted when someone presses the button, but I want the displayed label to be different from what it submitted, as it is say with &lt;option ...&gt;</saying>
</body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>yrlnry as a Perl newbie</tagline>
        </info>
</irc>
</fortune>
<fortune id="which-prefix-do-you-want">
        <meta>
            <title>Which Prefix do You Want Today?</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="mMish">hi rind</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Hi mMish </saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mMish: now you&#39;re mMish ?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mMish: are you eMish, oMish, aMish , etc?</saying>
<saying who="mMish">yes</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mMish: ah, nice.</saying>
<saying who="mMish">depends on the mood</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">GumbyBRAIN: how many nicks must a one IRCer have?</saying>
<saying who="GumbyBRAIN">Oh, i lie, now it&#39;s stuck on posting things to do it.  You said you couldn&#39;t have one of many.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mMish: ah OK.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">xMish</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">iMish</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">zMish</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Like the IBM computers.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pMish</saying>
<saying who="mMish">ppszMish &lt;--- HUngarian</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mMish: LOL.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">lpstrMish</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">is lpstr a function?</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">get_magic_quotes_gpcMish</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: no, Long Pointer to string.</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">PHP++ :&#39;)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: why?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">perlbot: karma PHP</saying>
<saying who="perlbot">Karma for PHP: -147</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">It takes some nerve to say &quot;PHP++&quot; in #perl :P</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">rindolf: because they have get_magic_quotes_gpc!</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">don&#39;t we all love get_magic_quotes_gpc!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: oh.</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">it&#39;s a function</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: love, hate - what&#39;s the difference.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: that does what?</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">to get the value of magic_quotes_gpc in the config file.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: ah.</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">so they have get_magic_quotes_gpc for get_ini(&#39;magic_quotes_gpc&#39;)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: LOL.</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">plus, there&#39;s the magic_quotes_gpc to escape all input a script gets via POST, GET and COOKIE.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: yes, sounds Evil.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Just use placeholders.</saying>
</body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Which Prefix do you Want today?</tagline>
        </info>
</irc>
</fortune>
<fortune id="sextalk-according-to-perlers">
        <meta>
            <title>Sextalk according to the cult of Perl</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="krang">Hey all, what&#39;s the best way to call one perl script from another? I was thinking I&#39;d just use &#39;system(&quot;script.pl&quot;);&#39;</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">krang: yeah, that, or do &quot;script.pl&quot;</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">krang: depends on how seperated you want them to be</saying>
<saying who="krang">dazjorz: you mean just a line that has &quot;script.pl&quot;; written on it?</saying>
<saying who="Khisanth">you need the do as well</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">krang: no, exactly this: do &quot;script.pl&quot;;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">krang: system is usually what you want.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">krang: normally require or use are preferable to do</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">rindolf: that&#39;s for modules, isn&#39;t it ?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: yes.</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">wait, I think require &quot;script.pl&quot; would work too</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: and doing code is not such a good idea.</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">rindolf: hmm?</saying>
<saying who="krang">rindolf: what is doing anyway?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: I mean &quot;perldoc -f do&quot;-ing code.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">krang: do()-ing</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">krang: it reads the file and evaluates it.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">krang: perldoc -f do.</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">rindolf: ah</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">rindolf: do {}</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">would rather be doing hot models than doing code. :-)</me_is>
<saying who="dazjorz">rindolf: yeah, do BLOCK is quite useless</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">heh</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: you can do my $var = do { ... }</saying>
<me_is who="dazjorz">would rather be doing GumbyBRAIN than doing code</me_is>
<saying who="GumbyBRAIN">and doing code is not be in the days of immortality!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: or eval { ... }</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: heh.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">It&#39;s hard to do code.</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">do $model;</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">eh.. sorry, do $hotmodel;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;Are you into my brother?&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;No I&#39;m totally into Perl.&quot;</saying>
<saying who="krang">ah ok, I see. Thanks guys!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">krang: yw.</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">heh :-)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">If you want a configuration file, you should be using something like INI, YAML, etc.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">XML perhaps.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Something.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Apache-like config.</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">Apache-like is very strong but hard to parse, right ?</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">Loading and saving configuration never looks good, especially when it&#39;s XML</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">the code to load and save is ugly.</saying>
</body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Sextalk among Perl cultists</tagline>
        </info>
</irc>
</fortune>
<fortune id="foolish-inviting-rindolf-to-australia">
    <meta>
        <title>f00li5h inviting rindolf to Australia</title>
    </meta>
    <irc>
        <body>
<saying who="f00li5h">rindolf: are you coming out this way on tour some time?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">f00li5h: to .au?</saying>
<saying who="f00li5h">yes!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">f00li5h: don&#39;t think so.</saying>
<saying who="f00li5h">you can pay some of my rent for a bit ^_^</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">f00li5h: I&#39;m out of job too.</saying>
<saying who="f00li5h">perfect timing!</saying>
<saying who="f00li5h">no commitments</saying>
<me_is who="f00li5h">is very good at constructing circular arguments due to his skill in constructing circular arguments</me_is>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Will rindolf come to Australia?</tagline>
        </info>
    </irc>
</fortune>
<fortune id="sharp-perl-love-life-of-cats">
    <meta>
        <title>The Love Life of Cats</title>
    </meta>
    <irc>
        <body>
<saying who="Anon">today my kitty gave a birth to two kitties!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Anon: ah, nice.</saying>
<saying who="Anon">one of them died :(</saying>
<saying who="Anon">during birth</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Anon: oh. :-(</saying>
<saying who="simcop2387">Anon: were you expecting it to happen?</saying>
<saying who="simcop2387">:(</saying>
<saying who="Anon">simcop2387, i was expecting this week</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Anon: do you know who the father is?</saying>
<saying who="simcop2387">ah</saying>
<saying who="Anon">rindolf, some cat</saying>
<saying who="simcop2387">rindolf: hopefully not him</saying>
<saying who="Anon">rindolf, remember my kitty ran away</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Anon: ah.</saying>
<saying who="Anon">for a week</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Anon: no I don&#39;t remember that.</saying>
<saying who="Anon">well, she ran away for a week</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Anon: ah.</saying>
<saying who="Anon">and came back</saying>
<saying who="Anon">and during that time she got pregnant.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Anon: ah.</saying>
<saying who="freehaha">they don&#39;t seem to have safe sex</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Anon: she eloped.</saying>
<saying who="simcop2387">Anon: sounds like she had fun</saying>
<saying who="Anon">simcop2387, sounds like that :)</saying>
<saying who="simcop2387">Anon: you should have the talk with her about birth control then (i wonder do they even make birth control for kitties)</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>The Love Life of Cats</tagline>
        </info>
    </irc>
</fortune>
<fortune id="sharp-perl-black-beer">
    <meta>
        <title>Black Beer</title>
    </meta>
    <irc>
        <body>
<me_is who="rindolf">is listening to </me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">Oh crud.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I should support Kaffeine too.</saying>
<saying who="Tanktalus">rindolf is apparently deaf... ;-)</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">is listening to Metallica - Nothing Else Matters</me_is>
<saying who="ubajas">NOTHING ELSE MATTERS, DUDE</saying>
<saying who="tkr">rindolf: thats nice :)</saying>
<saying who="tkr">rindolf: how about guns &#39;n roses?</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">is listening to Guns and Runs - don&#39;t cry</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">tkr: you read my mind.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">tkr: I now placed some of their songs.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Now it&#39;s November Rain.</saying>
<saying who="tkr">rindolf: next time youll come to finland Ill buy you a beer (with no alcohol)! :)</saying>
<saying who="tkr">rindolf++</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">tkr: OK.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">tkr: we have something called &quot;Black Beer&quot; in Israel.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Which is a non-alcoholic beer.</saying>
<saying who="simcop2387">rindolf: THATS RACIST! IT SHOULD BE AFRICAN AMERICAN ISREALI BEER!</saying>
<saying who="edenc">rindolf: is it any good?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">simcop2387: heh .</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Beer, Perlers and Song</tagline>
        </info>
    </irc>
</fortune>
<fortune id="sharp-perl-assign-named-foo-and-bar">
    <meta>
        <title>Assign Named $foo and $bar</title>
    </meta>
    <irc>
        <body>
<saying who="LeoNerd">I feel there must be a way to do this...  given   func( foo =&gt; 1, bar =&gt; 2 );   how to write   my ( $foo, $bar ) = ....  inside the function?</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">My current attempt is    my ( $foo, $bar ) = @{{@_}}{qw( foo bar )};   which is messy as sin</saying>
<saying who="icke">LeoNerd: what&#39;s the problem? readability?</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Yah</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">LeoNerd: I&#39;d change specs to be func({ foo =&gt; 1, bar =&gt; 2})</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">then my ($foo, $bar) = ($_[0]{foo}, $_[0]{bar});</saying>
<saying who="ton">Leonerd: If you insist on doing it on one line, that&#39;s about as good as it gets. But why not use a temporary hash ? Should be just as fast and as readable</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Hrm.. :/ Then it&#39;s only marginally nicer as    my ( $foo, $bar ) = @{$_[0]}{qw( foo bar )};</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">my %args = @_;  my ( $foo, $bar ) = @args{qw( foo bar )};  ya... that works</saying>
<saying who="mst">LeoNerd: my ($foo, $bar) = do { my %a = @_; @a{qw(foo bar)} };</saying>
<saying who="ton">if you combine it with a delete you can then check if %args is empty and catch typos or unexpected arguments....</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Oooh.. a do block</saying>
<saying who="vincent">or use padwalker</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Oh, args won&#39;t be empty... this is a wrapper function that pulls a few named args off and sends the rest to a nested inner function</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Now.. I want to call a function &quot;foreach&quot; but that breaks things... suggestions?</saying>
<saying who="icke">a method could be named &#39;foreach&#39;</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Ya.. but this is a plain function</saying>
<saying who="icke">tough</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">I suppose &quot;iterate&quot; is about as best as I&#39;ll get</saying>
<saying who="icke">for_each</saying>
<saying who="ton">LeoNerd: forall ?</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">I&#39;ll think on it overnight maybe.. I guess it&#39;s home time now</saying>
<saying who="icke">foreachandeverysingleone</saying>
<saying who="ton">forever, forfun, forlorn...</saying>
<saying who="vincent">FOREACH</saying>
<saying who="icke">boo</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">one_for $all and $all for @one;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">forevery?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&lt;LeoNerd&gt; one_for $all and $all for @one; - heh</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">$one for @all and @all for @one</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">$one for @all and @all for @$one</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">$one for @all and @all for $one</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Works too.</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Hrm.. it does?</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">deparse: $one for @all and @all for $one</saying>
<saying who="buubot">LeoNerd: Error: syntax error at (eval 107195) line 1, near &quot;@all for &quot;</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">You can&#39;t use two postmod fors in a single statement</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Syntax Fun</tagline>
        </info>
    </irc>
</fortune>
<fortune id="sharp-perl-the-func">
    <meta>
        <title>The func</title>
    </meta>
    <irc>
        <body>
<saying who="as841">Hi, i am doing a print $drh-&gt;func(&#39;createdb&#39;,$database,&quot;localhost&quot;,&quot;root&quot;,$password,&#39;admin&#39;); but getting this Can&#39;t call method &quot;func&quot; on an undefined value</saying>
<saying who="as841">could anyone point me in the right direction ?</saying>
<saying who="Yaakov">o/~ Ow we want the func / Give up the func / Ow we need the func / We gotta have that func o/~ &lt;/drforr&gt;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">We got the func!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Forget the fee func, we&#39;ve got the see func!</saying>
<saying who="as841">wtf?</saying>
<saying who="as841">did i launch a movement or what ?</saying>
<saying who="Yaakov">What the func?!</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>The func</tagline>
        </info>
    </irc>
</fortune>
<fortune id="sharp-perl-more-that-one-way-for-a-cat-to-paw">
    <meta>
        <title>More Than One Way for a Cat to Paw</title>
    </meta>
    <irc>
        <body>
<me_is who="f00li5h">paws at dazjorz </me_is>
<saying who="dazjorz">f00li5h! :)</saying>
<saying who="f00li5h">how goes it?</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">it goes very fine. :)</saying>
<me_is who="pkrumins">f00s at pawlish</me_is>
<me_is who="f00li5h">pkrums at pawkrumins</me_is>
<saying who="pkrumins">f00li5h, thank you sir! =^_^=</saying>
<saying who="f00li5h">dazjorz: I am quite well</saying>
<me_is who="dazjorz">li5hes at f00paw</me_is>
<me_is who="dazjorz">rins at pawdolf... man, I could go on forever.</me_is>
<saying who="pkrumins">haha</saying>
<saying who="pkrumins">pawdolf</saying>
<me_is who="pkrumins">dazes at pawjorz</me_is>
<me_is who="dazjorz">gumbys at .. oh well</me_is>
<me_is who="pkrumins">paws at GumbyBRAIN</me_is>
<saying who="GumbyBRAIN">Ik paws at gumbybrain.</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>More Than One Way for a Cat to Paw</tagline>
        </info>
    </irc>
</fortune>
<fortune id="sharp-perl-bit-by-bit">
    <meta>
        <title>Bit by bit</title>
    </meta>
    <irc>
        <body>
<saying who="Similian">is there a smart way to read a file to a certain string bit by bit ?</saying>
<saying who="Similian">which loop to use?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Similian: you can read it byte by byte.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Similian: do you want to read the whole thing?</saying>
<saying who="Similian">no</saying>
<saying who="Similian">too big 200 MB</saying>
<saying who="simcop2387-lab">reading bit by bit is usually not supported by most operating systems</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Similian: then do you want to read one byte at a time?</saying>
<saying who="ik">or one line at a time?</saying>
<saying who="Similian">guess a line would be better</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">simcop2387-lab: it is on my rindolfOS running on Intel 1001.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Which was a 1-bit processor.</saying>
<saying who="ik">heh</saying>
<saying who="ik">I had a half-bit processor</saying>
<saying who="ik">it just stored ones</saying>
<saying who="danieldg">ik: that would be a zero-bit processor then</saying>
<saying who="ik">no no</saying>
<saying who="danieldg">half-bit processor stores 0&#39;s or sqrt(2)&#39;s</saying>
<saying who="ik">sqrt(2) may as well be 1</saying>
<saying who="simcop2387-lab">rindolf: a 1 bit processor would be a hell of a thing to work with</saying>
<saying who="danieldg">not if you can&#39;t test it unless it&#39;s one</saying>
<saying who="ik">We&#39;re not talking about numbers, we&#39;re talking about on and off, true and false, whatever you want to call it</saying>
<saying who="ik">sqrt(2) is nonzero, so it&#39;s one.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">danieldg: not 1/sqrt(2)?</saying>
<saying who="danieldg">hmm it would probably be that, yes</saying>
<saying who="simcop2387-lab">my proc uses sqrt[-1]!</saying>
<saying who="ik">may as well</saying>
<saying who="danieldg">ik: think quantum computers. It tests true with probability 1/sqrt(2)</saying>
<saying who="ik">I&#39;m not talking about a quantum computer..</saying>
<saying who="danieldg">well a 1/2 bit computer clearly can&#39;t be classical</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Bit by bit</tagline>
        </info>
    </irc>
</fortune>
<fortune id="sharp-perl-log-analyser-in-haskell">
    <meta>
        <title>Log Analyser in Haskell</title>
    </meta>
    <irc>
        <body>
<saying who="rindolf">whoppix: what&#39;s up?</saying>
<saying who="whoppix">rindolf, haskelling through the night.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">whoppix: ah.</saying>
<saying who="whoppix">rindolf, im pretty much a beginner, tho.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">whoppix: yes, I learned Haskell back at the time.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">whoppix: I tried to write a log analyser in Haskell once.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">whoppix: it segfaulted.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">whoppix: a CL-one was much better.</saying>
<saying who="Caelum">rindolf: haha</saying>
<saying who="whoppix">sadness</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">whoppix: then people showed me how to write it better. </saying>
<saying who="rindolf">whoppix: but it segfaulted too.</saying>
<saying who="whoppix">haha</saying>
<saying who="Caelum">hahaha</saying>
<saying who="Zoffix">lol</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">whoppix: I gave up on using Haskell for production.</saying>
<saying who="Caelum">rindolf: I&#39;ve submitted your story to bash.org</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Log Analyser in Haskell</tagline>
        </info>
    </irc>
</fortune>
<fortune id="sharp-perl-best-kind-of-bugs">
    <meta>
        <title>Best Kind of Bugs</title>
    </meta>
    <irc>
        <body>
<saying who="rindolf">perlmonkey2: I&#39;ve ran into a strange problem with CMake. It&#39;s some kind of bug that disappears after running a few commands.</saying>
<saying who="perlmonkey2">rindolf: heh, the best kind of bugs are intermittant and only happen under load :P</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">perlmonkey2: it&#39;s not load.</saying>
<saying who="daemon">The best kind of bugs are the ones that do not happen at all :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">daemon: heh.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">daemon++</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">The best kind of bugs are the ones that only happen to people you hate.</saying>
<saying who="perlmonkey2">hahahaha</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">Those aren&#39;t usually bugs</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">&gt;:)</saying>
<saying who="daemon">Altreus, you mean the ones you coded to happen to that said person ;)</saying>
<saying who="daemon">hehe</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">Not being able to reproduce strange behaviour is fine too</saying>
        </body>
        <info>
            <channel>#perl</channel>
            <network>Freenode</network>
            <tagline>Best kind of bugs</tagline>
        </info>
    </irc>
</fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-the-irc-based-unix-shell">
        <meta>
            <title>The IRC-Based UNIX Shell</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
                <me_is who="Zoffix">&amp;</me_is>
                <saying who="^Quiddity">Zoffix: fg</saying>
                <saying who="apeiron">^Quiddity, no</saying>
                <saying who="apeiron">kill %1</saying>
                <saying who="rindolf">kill -9 apeiron</saying>
                <saying who="apeiron">rindolf, EPERM</saying>
                <saying who="^Quiddity">kill: apeiron: arguments must be process or job IDs</saying>
                <saying who="rindolf">apeiron: sudo kill -9 apeiron</saying>
                <saying who="^Quiddity">killall -9 apeiron</saying>
                <saying who="rindolf">pkill -9 apeiron</saying>
                <saying who="apeiron">rindolf, user rindolf is not in the sudoers file, this event will be reported</saying>
                <me_is who="apeiron">wonders what it says about him that he has that error message pretty much memorized</me_is>
                <saying who="^Quiddity">apeiron: that you don&#39;t spend enough time issuing commands correctly</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>The IRC-Based UNIX Shell</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-retardedness">
        <meta>
            <title>Retardedness</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="rindolf">mst: sorry for that - that was not my intention.</saying>
<saying who="mst">rindolf: I know it wasn&#39;t. you aren&#39;t that retarded. but the way your comment came across was :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mst: yes. </saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mst++</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mst: &quot;you aren&#39;t that retarded.&quot; - you shouldn&#39;t insult my retardedness (sp?). I worked all my life to be so retarded.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">I think you can spell made-up words like &#39;retardedness&#39; however you like</saying>
<saying who="carpftb">if you&#39;re a retard.</saying>
<saying who="Botje">heh</saying>
<saying who="Botje">working hard is the exact opposite of retardedness :]</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">hardly working</saying>

            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Retardedness</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-how-to-name-a-flickr-module">
        <meta>
            <title>How to name a new Flickr-module</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="jfroebe">trying to come up with a replacement name for my Flickr::Simple2.. (it is based off of XML::Simple rather than XML::Parser::Lite::Tree) - Net::Flickr, Flickr::API, Flickr::Simple are already taken.  Any ideas?  I&#39;m coming up blank for a name</saying>
<saying who="jfroebe">It is a Perl interface to Flickr</saying>
<saying who="mofino">wait</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jfroebe: ah, I saw your message on Chicago.pm</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jfroebe: maybe WWW::Flickr</saying>
<saying who="mofino">you found others and decided you needed to make ANOTHER perl interface to flickr?</saying>
<saying who="jfroebe">the other ones have been broken for a long time (either because of use of the abandoned XML::Parser::Lite::Tree module or because the authentication method was never correctly implemented)</saying>
<saying who="buu">jfroebe: Please no more names involving ::Simple</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">buu: ::Tiny</saying>
<saying who="jfroebe">WWW::Flickr is a good possibility</saying>
<saying who="buu">Thanks rindolf.</saying>
<saying who="mofino">hah tiny is the new simple</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">::Minimal.</saying>
<saying who="buu">::SeriouslyfuckingSmall</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">::NotEnough</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">::GargantuanlySmall</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">::Minuscule</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">::Warning::Uses::XML::Simple::And::Thus::Has::
    Terrible::Performance::And::Memory::Usage</saying>
<saying who="Fah">::Deficient</saying>
<saying who="mofino">stay in the Flickr:: space</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">apeiron++</saying>
<saying who="mofino">if there already is one</saying>
<saying who="jfroebe">mofino.. that&#39;s the problem what to name it</saying>
<saying who="nadim">::Nano</saying>
<saying who="nadim">that should be small enough and it sounds serious</saying>
<saying who="mofino">jfroebe, something in Flickr:: ;)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">::Femto</saying>
<saying who="jfroebe">lol - understood</saying>
<saying who="mofino">jfroebe, ::Improved ::Modern ::Lite ::Tiny ::FUCKYEAH</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jfroebe: a Rose by any other name...</saying>
<saying who="mofino">IS A DUCK</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I think half the posts to module-authors are about &quot;How shall I name this module?&quot;</saying>
<saying who="mofino">haha</saying>
<saying who="ik">I use perlmonks for that ^_^</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jfroebe: I&#39;m not a fan of XML::Simple either.</saying>
<saying who="mofino">XML::Simple is teh awesome</saying>
<saying who="ik">1;</saying>
<saying who="ik">XML::Simple is teh sux</saying>
<saying who="mofino">whatever</saying>
<saying who="ik">&quot;this could be an arrayref or a hashref or a nothingref depending on how many thingies were in your doo-dad&quot;</saying>
<saying who="mofino">force it</saying>
<saying who="ik">yes</saying>
<saying who="mofino">but yeah, that is a bit annoying</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ik++ - my thoughts exactly.</saying>
<saying who="mofino">OH SUDDEN HASHREF</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">XML::Simple is the MySQL of XML parsers.</saying>
<saying who="mofino">haha</saying>
<saying who="mofino">ahh mysql, DOOOMED</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Haha # apeiron++</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">lol @ &gt; apeiron</saying>
<saying who="drforr">There&#39;s a reason it&#39;s called &quot;Simple.&quot; You&#39;ll find out about 3 days after you start using it.</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">would it be anything releated to being feature-incomplete</saying>
<saying who="drforr">That would be be why it&#39;s &quot;simple&quot;.</saying>
<saying who="jfroebe"> but for simple XML data (i.e. Flickr&#39;s REST API), it is more than sufficient</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">define &quot;simple&quot; XML</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">$xml = &#39;&lt;&#39; # already too complex</saying>
<saying who="jfroebe">kent - lol</saying>
<saying who="jfroebe">:)</saying>
<saying who="jfroebe">thoughts on  Flickr::YA::API ?</saying>
<saying who="jfroebe">for a name</saying>
<saying who="mofino">jfroebe, YA?</saying>
<saying who="jfroebe">yet another</saying>
<saying who="mofino">...</saying>
<saying who="mofino">just pick a name</saying>
<saying who="mofino">Flickr::API</saying>
<saying who="mofino">oh, nevermind</saying>
<saying who="jfroebe">mofino - now you see.. all the good ones are taken ;-)</saying>
<saying who="mofino">maybe you had it at Flickr::Simple2</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">Flickr::API:: something</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">or something</saying>
<saying who="mofino">kent\n, namespace already in use</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Flickr::Two</saying>
<saying who="mofino">jfroebe, since your API is an improvement over Simple</saying>
<saying who="nadim">mst: lol</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">Flickr::API::SucksLess</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jfroebe: you can call it Flickr::Jfroebey</saying>
<saying who="jfroebe">mofino, I think you might be right.</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">Flicker::API::FAFINAFA</saying>
<saying who="jfroebe">rindolf - lol ... my head is already big enough lol</saying>
<saying who="mofino">jfroebe, i mean, if that&#39;s what it is, it shows a clear progression from Simple</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">( Flicker::API::FAFINAFA is not a flickr api )</saying>
<saying who="nadim">Flicker::rekcilF</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jfroebe: I have released Spork::Shlomify with some random changes to Spork that I needed.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Well, I use subclassing to implement them.</saying>
<saying who="jfroebe">lmao</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">You forked that spork!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">apeiron: it&#39;s not a fork! It&#39;s an improved spork!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Flickr::Bettr</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">Flickr::Strobe</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">( its a bit brighter )</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">Flickr::OnAndOff</saying>
<saying who="nadim">Flickr::FullBeam</saying>
<saying who="nadim">Flickr::FullLights</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">Flickr::2009</saying>
<saying who="mofino">Flickr::Meat</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">that way somebody will be able to invent something better next year</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">and call it Flickr::2010</saying>
<saying who="mofino">Flickr::rkcilF</saying>
<saying who="mofino">Flickr::Barbie::Edition</saying>
<saying who="mofino">Flickr::Nuts</saying>
<saying who="nadim">Flickr::3b0f3a25d07e5d9dbdf98db15ee70410 (and no, it is not random)</saying>
<saying who="mofino">Flickr::911wasaninsidejob</saying>
<saying who="nadim">hehe</saying>
<saying who="mofino">haha</saying>
<saying who="jfroebe">thanks guys :)  I&#39;ve requested the Flickr::Simple2 namespace via pause</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>"A rose by any other name…" (and a little on XML::Simple)</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-whatever">
        <meta>
            <title>Whatever</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="Mel|work">Yaakov: icke==troll?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Mel|work: no, he&#39;s not a troll.</saying>
<saying who="Yaakov">Mel|work: No, icke is just... enthusiastic about &quot;channel purity&quot;</saying>
<saying who="Mel|work">k....</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">hates when people abuse the == operator in English for &quot;contained in&quot;</me_is>
<saying who="apeiron">rindolf, &quot;icke contained in troll&quot;? That&#39;s not what Mel|work meant.</saying>
<saying who="tarbo">sure he did, if you make troll a set of users</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">apeiron: what he meant by icke == troll is that icke belongs to the set of trolls.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">apeiron: not that every troll in the world is icke.</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">rindolf, No, he was asking if icke is a troll.</saying>
<saying who="icke">$icke-&gt;isa(&#39;Troll&#39;);</saying>
<saying who="icke">(false)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">apeiron: is-a means &quot;contained in the set of objects with the property of&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">apeiron: mathematically speaking.</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">rindolf, Okay, so you&#39;re assigning the mathematical meaning of == to its usage in a *perl* channel?</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">rindolf, Now who&#39;s fiddling with meanings, eh?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">apeiron: whatever.</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">&#39;whatever&#39; is what those who have lost their argument say.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">apeiron: whatever.</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">^ QED</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">apeiron: whatever.</saying>
<saying who="PerlJam">apeiron: I thought that&#39;s what people who don&#39;t care say.</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">PerlJam, If one doesn&#39;t care, they wouldn&#39;t respond.</saying>
<saying who="PerlJam">apeiron: whatever</saying>
<saying who="PerlJam">;-)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">LOL.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Whatever</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-dishsort">
        <meta>
            <title>Dishsort</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="rindolf">My father and I joked about sorting the dishes in the dishwasher.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">My father said: &quot;If you won&#39;t sort the dishwasher, the dishwasher won&#39;t be sorted.&quot;</saying>
<saying who="Loci64">rindolf: bubble sort *g*</saying>
<saying who="icke">dishsort</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Then I said &quot;No, it won&#39;t be sorted by me.&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">So he said &quot;No, it won&#39;t be sorted at all. We will throw the dishwasher.&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;Along with all the dishes.&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Loci64: bubble sort is inefficient.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Loci64: you should use quicksort or mergesort.</saying>
<saying who="whoppix">or bashsort, or heapsort!</saying>
<saying who="icke">yeah, but thorough.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Loci64: or for small values of &quot;N&quot; - insertion sort.</saying>
<saying who="whoppix">although I can&#39;t remember if those were stable.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">whoppix: what is bashsort?</saying>
<saying who="icke">that matters for a dishwasher</saying>
<saying who="EvanCarroll">/bin/sort</saying>
<saying who="EvanCarroll">duh</saying>
<saying who="Loci64">hehe, but dishwashers usually have medium to large numbers of N ;-) maybe trashsort solves the problem</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">EvanCarroll: perldoc -f sort is more portable.</saying>
<saying who="whoppix">rindolf, shellsort, not bashsort, sorry :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">But I&#39;ll need to build a robot to use it with the dishes.</saying>
<saying who="icke">cshsort</saying>
<saying who="EvanCarroll">here must be a trillion sorting algos</saying>
<saying who="EvanCarroll">and 9/10 of them are total shit</saying>
<saying who="EvanCarroll">and inferior in every way.</saying>
<saying who="EvanCarroll">This sorting algorithem is coveted if you KNOW that only one value is out of perfect order and it sits in the second to last position of the input.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>dishsort</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-good-scalar-localtime">
        <meta>
            <title>Good scalar localtime()</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="rindolf">Good localtime(), #perl!</saying>
<saying who="sproingie">rindolf: good scalar localtime to you</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">sproingie: oooh! scalar context.</saying>
<saying who="sproingie">well i didn&#39;t want to make ya parse it</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">sproingie: it is implied however.</saying>
<saying who="sproingie">(er unparse it)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Good strftime($format, localtime()).</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">But better use DateTime.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Or something.</saying>
<saying who="icke">sub good ($$$) { ... }</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">icke: yes.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">eval: good localtime(), #perl!</saying>
<saying who="buubot3">rindolf: ERROR: syntax error at (eval 21) line 1, near &quot;good localtime&quot;</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">eval: &#39;hi rindolf how is your &#39;.scalar localtime.&#39;?&#39;</saying>
<saying who="buubot3">Altreus: hi rindolf how is your Tue Mar 10 15:43:13 2009?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Altreus: how is my Tuesday, 10-March-2009?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Altreus: or do you mean down right to that exact second.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">rindolf: I gave you as much information as I could for you to use as you see fit.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">If you don&#39;t need it all you can just take the date</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Good scalar localtime()</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-module-build-saga">
        <meta>
            <title>The Module::Build Saga</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="rindolf">The Module::Build saga goes on!</saying>
<saying who="mst">Module::Build isn&#39;t a saga, it&#39;s a fucking horror series</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Module::Build</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-eye-pea">
        <meta>
            <title>How to say IP?</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="Altreus">Hmm I should have checked the licence on Inline::Lua</saying>
<saying who="dwu">orochi_: licence it and people will steal it anyway :)</saying>
<saying who="Yaakov">Well, you can try to steal that, but it would be like a mouse stealing a battle tank.</saying>
<saying who="dwu">Altreus: you mean acronym?</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">Perl license</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">dwu: n</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">IP is not pronounced as a word so it is not an acronym.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">At least not in the original meaning of the word: which is the only meaning given by a majority of dictionaries</saying>
<saying who="Yaakov">Yes, it&#39;s not a true acronym, though the word now has that baggage.</saying>
<saying who="orochi_">Ip Ip Ip!</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">ni!</saying>
<me_is who="orochi_">runs away</me_is>
<saying who="dwu">Altreus: i say ip... :)</saying>
<saying who="Yaakov">IP would be an abbreviation.</saying>
<saying who="dwu">also, initials? but isms are cool.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I see Eye.Pea.</saying>
<saying who="dwu">oooh yes.</saying>
<saying who="dwu">and dead people?</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">is listening to Sesame Street - Yip Yip Martians</me_is>
<saying who="Altreus">dwu: Intent is involved; just because you say it as a word does not mean it was meant to be said as a word ;)</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">wikipedia knows about it, and has like a million sauces cited</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">mostly dictionaries</saying>
<saying who="Yaakov">YAPC is an acronymic moniker!  BE THERE</saying>
<saying who="dwu">Altreus: well absolutement :) also, yumy, i like bernaise.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I say* Eye.Pea.</saying>
<saying who="dwu">hrrrm, the oxford cream dictionary. *nomnomnom*</saying>
<saying who="dwu">rindolf: awww.</saying>
<saying who="ne2k__"> Eye.Pea.Freely</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dwu: heh</saying>
<saying who="ne2k__">no-one says &quot;ip&quot;, everyone says &quot;Eye Pea&quot;</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">Ip address</saying>
<saying who="dwu">rindolf: can you just -say- dead people, for the heck of it?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Yip address</saying>
<saying who="dwu">ne2k__: provably false. i need an ip address, stat!</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">yiff address?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dwu: I say dead people.</saying>
<saying who="dwu">&lt;3 rindolf</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dwu: I say.</saying>
<saying who="dwu">you do :)</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">I say I say I say</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dwu: :-)</saying>
<saying who="ne2k__">dwu: you can&#39;t stat an ip address, only a file</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>How to say IP?</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-coll-yourself-a-programmer">
        <meta>
            <title>And you coll yourself a programmer</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: it&#39;s VBA, not VB.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: completely different beast.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: and much saner.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: I don&#39;t know VB.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Never had the need.</saying>
<saying who="c0bra">_Fauchi95_: alright</saying>
<saying who="fuzzix">rindolf: And you coll yourself a programmer...</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">And hopefully will never have the need.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">fuzzix: call</saying>
<saying who="fuzzix">rindolf: Good coll. Dvorak&#39;s tough after spending the day on qwerty :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">fuzzix: coll again?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Hmm... there is such a word called &quot;coll&quot;.</saying>
<saying who="fuzzix">rindolf: That one was a joke :)</saying>
<saying who="c0bra">why stop now? he&#39;s on a roll</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Wonder what it means.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">fuzzix: ah.</saying>
<saying who="simcop2387">c0bra: a rick roll?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">rall</saying>
<saying who="c0bra">a coll roll</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">roll the ball.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">rall the boll.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">And go to the Super-bowl.</saying>
<saying who="c0bra">Coll\, v. t. [OF. coler, fr. L. collum neck.] To embrace.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;Rolling is hard. Let&#39;s go to the mall.&quot;</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>You coll yourself a programmer</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-perl-chuck-norris-as-a-refactorer">
        <meta>
            <title>Chuck Norris as a Refactorer</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="Su-Shee">2010 is planned more or less as a refactoring year.</saying>
<saying who="DrForr_">A whole *year*? What physical plane of existence do you reside on?</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">DrForr_: there&#39;s also bugs to fix and systems to care for and things like that. it&#39;s not that we&#39;re locked into the closet and a year later a new, shiny product is released. ;)</saying>
<saying who="DrForr_">Closet optional.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">I&#39;m not a wonderwoman refactoring half a million lines of perl in a week, sorry. :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: Chuck Norris refactors 10 millions lines of perl before lunch.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf: hm. that&#39;s the reason.. I&#39;m not as hairy as chuck norris and I don&#39;t have a beard...</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: ah.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: Chuck Norris also wrote a complete Perl 6 implementation.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf: I heard, he already wrote Perl 7.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: yes.</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">wants to be as awesome as Chuck when he grows up.</me_is>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf: I envy you. I&#39;ll never be as awesome without a beard.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: heh.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: it doesn&#39;t matter if you&#39;re rigid on the outside as long as you&#39;re rigid on the inside.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">chuck norris doesn&#39;t make mistakes.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: Chuck Norris corrects God.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf: I&#39;ll apply as his secretary.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: as Chuck&#39;s?</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf: yes.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: OK.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Chuck Norris doesn&#39;t code. When he sits next to a computer, it just does whatever he wants.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">I&#39;ll tell my boss tomorrow. Chuck is who he wants.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: Chuck Norris is his own boss.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: if you hire him, he&#39;ll tell your boss what to do.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">good point.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Becoming as awesome as Chuck Norris is</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-the-voices-tell-me-so">
        <meta>
            <title>The Voices Tell Me So.</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="integral">hi perly!</saying>
<saying who="perlygatekeeper">hey Chris, hey integral</saying>
<saying who="perlygatekeeper">dabreegster, don&#39;t know you do I but HEY anyway</saying>
<saying who="perlygatekeeper">what&#39;s been up?</saying>
<saying who="dabreegster">Ignore me, fine.</saying>
<me_is who="dabreegster">goes in a corner</me_is>
<saying who="Chris62vw">dabreegster is the man, man</saying>
<saying who="dabreegster">Ah, that&#39;s better.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">perlygatekeeper: yo, yo, yo, dude!</saying>
<saying who="perlygatekeeper">rindolf!!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">perlygatekeeper: what&#39;s up?</saying>
<saying who="perlygatekeeper">hmmm</saying>
<saying who="perlygatekeeper">not much</saying>
<saying who="perlygatekeeper">you?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">perlygatekeeper: fine. Let me recall what I said to ezra.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">perlygatekeeper: I&#39;m fine. Got into a few flamewars, and escaped alive to tell the tale.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">perlygatekeeper: worked a bit on my story &quot;The Human Hacking Field Guide&quot;.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">perlygatekeeper: (which, BTW, you appear there (as your IRC nick at least)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">perlygatekeeper: and now working on the Computer Graphics section of my homepage.</saying>
<saying who="perlygatekeeper">rindolf, what the hell?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">perlygatekeeper: excuse me?</saying>
<saying who="perlygatekeeper">rindolf was that someone pretending to be me?</saying>
<saying who="perlygatekeeper">I never said those things</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">perlygatekeeper: it&#39;s a fictitious story.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">perlygatekeeper: relax.</saying>
<saying who="dabreegster">perlygatekeeper: or you could be the imposter right now... or maybe just schizophrenic.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dabreegster: MPDed not schizophrenic.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dabreegster: schizophrenia is not Multi-Persona-Disordered.</saying>
<saying who="b0at">perlygatekeeper: It&#39;s fan fiction from your fan!</saying>
<saying who="dabreegster">rindolf: what&#39;s the difference?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dabreegster: MPD is when there are several personalities living inside your brain.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dabreegster: in schizophrenia, you have one I-ness, but hear voices, hallucinate and stuff.</saying>
<saying who="dabreegster">rindolf: Ah. Why is it considered a disorder? MPD could be quite useful... One would have different perspectives on a subject.</saying>
<saying who="perlygatekeeper">where&#39;s beth, she&#39;ll know it&#39;s me</saying>
<saying who="integral">But how will we know it&#39;s beth?!</saying>
<saying who="dabreegster">rindolf: Oh, I have MPD then, not schizophrenia. I don&#39;t hallucinate.</saying>
<saying who="dabreegster">integral: WE DON&#39;T!</saying>
<saying who="b0at">I don&#39;t hallucinate, but my other personality does.</saying>
<saying who="dabreegster">How do I know all of you exist? Am I just a figment of my own imagination?</saying>
<saying who="dabreegster">b0at: Interesting...</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dabreegster: Julian Jaynes describes schizophrenia very well in his &quot;The Origins of Consciousness during the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind book&quot;.</saying>
<saying who="integral">nono, you&#39;re all just figments of _lilo_&#39;s imagination</saying>
<saying who="dabreegster">rindolf: I&#39;ll check it out</saying>
<saying who="b0at">he wishes</saying>
<saying who="dabreegster">integral: and you?</saying>
<saying who="perlygatekeeper">the voices tell me if it&#39;s really beth or not</saying>
<saying who="dabreegster">perlygatekeeper: The voices tell me everything.</saying>
<saying who="dabreegster">Wait, I do have the Voices. Maybe I have MPD _and_ schizophrenia.</saying>
<saying who="b0at">Ah, but the question is: do the Voices have voices?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dabreegster: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Origin_of_Consciousness_in_the_Breakdown_of_the_Bicameral_Mind</saying>
<saying who="b0at">And if so, is it your own voice?</saying>
<saying who="dabreegster">b0at: And do the voices of the voices have voices?</saying>
<saying who="b0at">That&#39;s just going too far.</saying>
<saying who="dkr">don&#39;t worry, those are angels, invest in tarot cards and you will be able to understand them</saying>
<saying who="dabreegster">b0at: and if it&#39;s not, then could it be the voice of........ integral? rindolf? or.... buu!</saying>
<saying who="b0at">buu has other plans for our empty skulls</saying>
<saying who="dabreegster">b0at: and if they do, then what do the voices of the voices of the voices of the Voices sound like?</saying>
<saying who="integral">*sob* it&#39;s the cabbages.   The cabbages keep telling me to do things</saying>
<saying who="Botje">really? most of the time it&#39;s the socks that tell me stuff</saying>
<saying who="dabreegster">integral: The lawn gnomes tell me. They&#39;re........everywhere...*sniffle*</saying>
<saying who="integral">*blubber* the socks are worse, there&#39;s moths living in them</saying>
<saying who="dabreegster">The lawn gnomes tell me to stay away from Life. They force me to write poetry.</saying>
<saying who="dabreegster">integral: *whispering* are the _moths_ the Voices? or the voices of the Voices? or the voices of the voices of the Voices?</saying>
<me_is who="dabreegster">goes back to reading</me_is>
<saying who="integral">*looks furtively around for moths*</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>The voices told me so.</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-hacking-into-a-hacker">
        <meta>
            <title>Hacking someone into a hacker</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: I&#39;m not good in detecting sarcasm over IRC.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">But naturally sometimes say sarcastic things myself.</saying>
<me_is who="Patterner">cuts his Nerd Membership Card in small pieces</me_is>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf: that&#39;s why god gave us the ;) smiley ;)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: not God, but a Russian enterpreneur who trademarked it.</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">wishes we were all speaking in XML.</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">J/K.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Even Perl is not good enough for human communication.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf: are you really still that nerdy in your age?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: I guess.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: nerdy or geeky?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: I.e: technologically inclined or having no social life?</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">is both though.</me_is>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf: so let&#39;s called it nerky. ;)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">But hopefully once I get a gf, I&#39;ll be less of a Nerd.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf: what makes you think that?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: I&#39;ll go out.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: and stuff.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: I also consider to start studying in Tel Aviv Uni.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf: and why does that require a girl friend?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">English/Hebrew/etc. or something.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Lots of girls there. :-)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: going out?</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">those are language-skills humanities-department girls. ;)</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf: yes.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: I like language geeks.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Thing is I think my knowledge of English and Hebrew is too superficial.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">And I lack the discipline to correct it on my own.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf: language departments like English are usually exactly _not_ geek-ish departments.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: you mean they are not tech-savvy?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">But you can be an English geek.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf: they&#39;re not even language geeks usually.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Or a hacker of English.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: really?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">How sad.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf: you know some people just want to have good language skills and read books and communicate.</saying>
<saying who="peterrooney">a good hacker will know at least three languages.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Well, maybe it&#39;s different in Israel.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">peterrooney: human ones, right?</saying>
<saying who="peterrooney">rindolf: at least one of them should be human</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I know English, Hebrew, studied Literary Arabic for 6 years and forgot most of it, and have some rudimentary French.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">peterrooney: ok.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">peterrooney: I think ever hacker should know Perl, Python, Haskell, C, Scheme/Lisp and Bash.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">And HTML/XHTML+CSS+etc.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">thank god I&#39;m no hacker. ;)</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">hacks Su-Shee into a hacker.</me_is>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf: no you won&#39;t. one can perfectly well do nice tech stuff without degrading into someone he/she&#39;s not.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: don&#39;t you like programming ? Didn&#39;t you contribute to FOSS?</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf: aaand? I can do that without declaring myself as hacker, nerd, geek or whatever.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: OK.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: but it still makes you a hacker.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf: trust me, I&#39;m very much not a hacker. really. honest to god not.</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">gives a blue badge of honour saying &quot;Hacker&quot; to Su-Shee </me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: too late, you&#39;re one of us now! ;-)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;Resistance is futile.&quot;</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Hacking someone into a hacker</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-costly-perl-documentation">
        <meta>
            <title>Selling Perl Documentation at Bargain Prices</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="FreakGuard">icke, how to start REPL?</saying>
<saying who="icke">FreakGuard: looked in the docs?</saying>
<saying who="FreakGuard">icke, no.</saying>
<saying who="icke">you got to load it from CPAN</saying>
<saying who="FreakGuard">icke, yeah, I&#39;ve installed it.</saying>
<me_is who="Altreus">sells FreakGuard perl docs at a reasonable price only $9.99 each</me_is>
<saying who="icke">perldoc Devel::REPL is the direct way to info then</saying>
<me_is who="Altreus">wrings his hands and cackles</me_is>
<saying who="FreakGuard">icke, thanks :P</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">bests Altreus&#39; bargain by 1 cent. </me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">Reminds me of what I learned in Game Theory.</saying>
<me_is who="Altreus">offers free delivery</me_is>
<me_is who="rindolf">allows free download</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">Of course quality &gt; price.</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">offers a deluxe edition of the Perl documentation for 1,000 USD plus shipping and handling.</me_is>
<saying who="huf">diamond-encrusted?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">See http://perldoc.perl.org/ for a preview.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">huf: natural diamonds, too.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">huf: Canadian diamonds.</saying>
<saying who="huf">well, if &lt;&gt; is natural... :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">huf: heh.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">huf: not this kind of diamond.</saying>
<me_is who="Altreus">compresses if () under several million tonnes of rock for a few aeons</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">I also give free spaceships - &lt;=&gt;</saying>
<saying who="infrared">heh</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Diamonds are heresy! We need PEARLs!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">/usr/bin/PEARL</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">f00li5h: Seems like it!</saying>
<saying who="FreakGuard">I prefer other gems :-)</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">I suggested to Think Geek that they should do Perl necklaces but they didn&#39;t</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">FreakGuard: Ruby gems?</saying>
<saying who="FreakGuard">rindolf, correct.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">The rare PHP</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">Darling I got you a PHP wedding ring</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">oh it broke</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Altreus: as PHP tends to.</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">laughts maniacally.</me_is>
<saying who="Altreus">you maniac!</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Given enough suckers, all profits become shallow</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-apeiron-phone">
        <meta>
            <title>The ApeironPhone</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="Enl">apeiron: because I write client side (Provider) which sends push messages to the phone and checks for new mail in perl</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Enl: a cellphone?</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">No, a rotary POTS phone that&#39;s capable of receiving email, rindolf.</saying>
<saying who="Enl">rindolf: iphone, yep</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">apeiron: :-) apeiron++</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">apeiron: I want a phone like that!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">apeiron: do you sell them?</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">rindolf, Yes, and I have some oceanfront property for you, too.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">apeiron: would you accept some of my copious gold bars in return?</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">rindolf, No. I only deal in Latinum!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">apeiron: Latinum.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">apeiron: gold-pressed Latinum?</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">yes.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">apeiron: I only have silver-pressed Latinum.</saying>
<saying who="Enl">rindolf: get an iPhone, lol</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">apeiron: would you accept LeoNerd and nanonyme as substitutes ? You can sell them for mucho Latinum.</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">heh</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Enl: iPhones are worthless.</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">conspires to steal the ApeironPhones.</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">I didn&#39;t say I was honest.</saying>
<me_is who="apeiron">jealously guards his G1</me_is>
<saying who="Enl">rindolf: now really</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Enl: you should get an ApeironPhone too.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Enl: chicks love it.</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">what</saying>
<saying who="Enl">rindolf: pff, chicks dont matter</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I would kill for an ApeironPhone!</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">ahaem?</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">kills Su-Shee and takes her ApeironPhone.</me_is>
<saying who="apeiron">...</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">wtf.</saying>
<saying who="go|dfish">hahaha</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">uses his RindolfMindReading™ to see who else has an ApeironPhone.</me_is>
<saying who="apeiron">Put down the acid, Shlomi. o.o</saying>
<saying who="huf">like that&#39;ll help</saying>
<saying who="huf">he&#39;s still got ~8 hrs on it</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf: I have an apeiron-phone?</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">where did buu go anyway?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: you had one.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: before you died.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>The ApeironPhone - you know you want it</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-use-Zaba">
        <meta>
            <title>use Zaba</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: &quot;I always wonder why the people I hang out with are so pedantic. And then I remember: because they are so pedantic.&quot; -- a Perl-ILer. ;-)</saying>
<saying who="Zaba">rindolf, because they use warnings</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">adds &quot;use Zaba;&quot; to his code.</me_is>
<saying who="Zaba">oh no, I&#39;m being used!</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">adds &quot;abuse Zaba;&quot; to his code.</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">Next: &quot;misuse Zaba;&quot;</saying>
<saying who="Zaba">ouch!</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>use Zaba</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="she-can-smoke">
        <meta>
            <title>She can smoke…</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
                <saying who="rindolf">She's a hot chick.</saying>
                <saying who="rindolf">But she smokes.</saying>
                <saying who="go|dfish">She can smoke as long as
                    she's smokin'.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perlcafe</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>She can smoke…</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="i-can-haz-pad">
        <meta>
            <title>iCanHazPad?</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<joins who="johnjohn01">has joined #perl</joins>
<saying who="johnjohn101">when will I be able to write a perl gui that will work on the ipad?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">johnjohn101: iPad?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">johnjohn101: was it released yet?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">johnjohn101: I think there are Perl bindings for Cocoa/Carbon/etc.</saying>
<saying who="johnjohn101">today..  Just getting sucked by the hype</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">johnjohn101: ah.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">johnjohn101: I&#39;m incredibly suspicious of Apple.</saying>
<saying who="johnjohn101">why&#39;s that?</saying>
<me_is who="Caelum">will wait for the cheap ipad knockoff that runs Android and can multitask</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">johnjohn101: http://www.shlomifish.org/open-source/anti/apple/</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">133 links and going strong.</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">thinks he has a link on his homepage or blogs for every occasion.</me_is>
<saying who="johnjohn101">they definitely know how to hype their new products. I get so suspicious of the hype. Nothing ever lives up to that type of billing</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">johnjohn101: yes, I&#39;m suspicious of hype too.</saying>
<saying who="gooshie">rindolf the new apple maxipad is out today.. leave it to apple to create a new device with all the cost of a high end laptop.. the performance of a netbook and the interface of a cellphone</saying>
<saying who="Caelum">gooshie: and no multitasking</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">gooshie: heh.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">gooshie++</saying>
<saying who="johnjohn101">will google be able to match it?</saying>
<saying who="johnjohn101">anytime soon?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Some technologies were not hyped and yet became very popular - UNIX, C, HTML.</saying>
<saying who="Caelum">there&#39;s no amazingly complicated technology involved</saying>
<saying who="Caelum">it&#39;s just a big iphone</saying>
<saying who="claes_">nicely packaged</saying>
<saying who="johnjohn101">drop it once and it&#39;s unusable?</saying>
<saying who="gooshie">...if they just made a cover to protect the screen.. and then maybe because they had like a cover the inside could be the screen and the other part could then be a keyboard!.. that would be cool!</saying>
<saying who="johnjohn101">gooshie: good thing you have an open mind about the product!!</saying>
<me_is who="gooshie">d:-/</me_is>
<saying who="gooshie">..the new apple maxipad... when your laptop is too big.. your iphone is too small and your wallet is too full.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>iCanHazPad?</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="web-devel-frameworks">
        <meta>
            <title>Web Development Frameworks</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="markl_">so while i&#39;m on the subject, is there a good perl HTML framework similar to what CakePHP is to PHP ?</saying>
<saying who="markl_">like an MVC style environment</saying>
<saying who="markl_">so i&#39;m wondering if mason is &quot;state of the art&quot; or if there are other tools to consider these days :)</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">Catalyst.</saying>
<saying who="markl_">catalyst ok, cool ty</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">markl_: there are plenty of other web-devel frameworks.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">perlbot: web frameworks</saying>
<saying who="perlbot">rindolf: CGI-Application (and Titanium), CGI-Application-Plus, CGI-Builder, CGI-Prototype, Jifty, Catalyst (and Reaction), Mojo, SweetPea, Dancer, Gantry, AxKit, WebGUI</saying>
<saying who="markl_">rindolf: hmm, way too many it would appear :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">markl_: yeah.</saying>
<saying who="markl_">what are the easiest ones for people good with perl but not HTML/CSS/AJAX experts ?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">markl_: not that Ruby or PHP have fewer.</saying>
<saying who="markl_">or the most widely adopted one ?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">markl_: the most popular appears to be Catalyst.</saying>
<saying who="markl_">catalyst seems to at least have a book :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">markl_: it has several books.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">markl_: I worked a bit with Mojolicious, and it wasn&#39;t too bad, but it reinvents a lot of wheels.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Due to its philosophy.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">markl_: I also did some Catalyst projects.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Catalyst is a bit complicated.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">sawyer: can you comment about Dancer?</saying>
<saying who="sawyer">Dancer is a lightweight web framework, it aims to make website development easy and rapid</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">like all the other web frameworks :)</saying>
<saying who="sawyer">for complex or extensive websites, i recommend Catalyst</saying>
<saying who="sawyer">but for smaller or not-as-complex website, Dancer is what i use</saying>
<saying who="markl_">ok ty</saying>
<me_is who="Su-Shee">wants the one which makes it hard, complicated and difficult ;)</me_is>
<saying who="sawyer">Su-Shee, true :)</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Web Development Frameworks</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="slippers-and-perl">
        <meta>
            <title>Slippers and Perl</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="mst">frikinz: but you&#39;re welcome to ignore us, just come back for your &quot;I told you so&quot; when the penny finally drops :D</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">buu: define penny finally drops</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">buubot: define penny finally drops</saying>
<saying who="buubot">rindolf: penny n 1: a fractional monetary unit of Ireland and the United Kingdom; equal to one hundredth of a pound 2: a coin worth one-hundredth of the value of the basic unit [syn: {cent}, {centime}] [also: {pence} (pl)]</saying>
<saying who="dngor">frikinz: Reflex is still pretty raw, but it&#39;s eventy without so much loopy.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">In Hebrew we say &quot;The phone token has fallen&quot; instead of &quot;the penny finally drops&quot;.</saying>
<saying who="dngor">Is that related to &quot;the other shoe has dropped&quot;?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dngor: well, it means the same thing as the English expression - &quot;I finally got to the bottom of it.&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Or understood it.</saying>
<saying who="dngor">Oh, they&#39;re completely different idioms.</saying>
<me_is who="mst">beats dngor with a slipper</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">mst: :-D</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">kinky.</saying>
<saying who="mst">Su-Shee: wrt the topic [&quot;Su-Shee wants the web-development framework that makes web-development hard, difficult and complicated&quot;], it&#39;s called Maypole :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mst: heh.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mst: yes, I can imagine that about Maypole.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">mst, avar: thank you so much. ;)</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">please mail the sourcecode to rindolf who put it in the topic ;)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: I can CPAN it.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">the topic?</saying>
<saying who="mutewit">I have a string and am looking for a quick way to extract all 5-character slices out of it.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: :-)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">IRC-Freenode-Perl-Topic-SuShee-WebDevelFrameworks-v0.0.1.tar.gz</saying>
<saying who="mutewit">For eg. &#39;abcdef&#39; returns &#39;abcde&#39;, &#39;bcdef&#39;</saying>
<saying who="mutewit">Any suggestions?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mutewit: use subst</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mutewit: use substr</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mutewit: with a map</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">eval: my $long_str = &quot;0123456789abcdefgh&quot;; [map { substr($long_s, $_, $_+5 } (0 .. length($long_s)-5)]</saying>
<saying who="buubot">rindolf: ERROR: syntax error at (eval 36) line 1, at EOF</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">eval: my $long_str = &quot;0123456789abcdefgh&quot;; [map { substr($long_s, $_, $_+5) } (0 .. length($long_s)-5)]</saying>
<saying who="buubot">rindolf: []</saying>
<saying who="mutewit">rindolf: Awesome.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">eval: my $long_s = &quot;0123456789abcdefgh&quot;; [map { substr($long_s, $_, $_+5) } (0 .. length($long_s)-5)]</saying>
<saying who="buubot">rindolf: [&quot;01234&quot;,123456,2345678,&quot;3456789a&quot;,&quot;456789abc&quot;,&quot;56789abcde&quot;,&quot;6789abcdefg&quot;,&quot;789abcdefgh&quot;,&quot;89abcdefgh&quot;,&quot;9abcdefgh&quot;,&quot;abcdefgh&quot;,&quot;bcdefgh&quot;,&quot;cdefgh&quot;,&quot;defgh&quot;]</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Thrid time the charm!</saying>
<saying who="mst">... thrid</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">hits buubot with a big strict pragma.</me_is>
<me_is who="mst">turns the slipper on rindolf</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">mst: yes, my typing sucks today.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">But f**k it! IRC is not exactly the declaration of independence.</saying>
<saying who="pragma_">ow!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pragma_: pardon?</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">hits pragma_ with mst&#39;s slipper so it will really hurt.</me_is>
<saying who="pragma_">why are you hitting buubot with me?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pragma_: the strict pragma.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pragma_: not you.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">perlbot: strict</saying>
<saying who="perlbot">rindolf: Perl strictures - http://perldoc.perl.org/strict.html</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pragma_: ^^^</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pragma_: we call the lowercase modules pragmata (sp?) in Perl.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Special:Search?search=pragmata - hmm....</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I thought pragmata was a valid plural of pragma.</saying>
<saying who="dngor">ow?  ow!</saying>
<saying who="mutewit">rindolf: Are you sure that generates only strings of length 5?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mutewit: well, you need to watch from fencepost errors.</saying>
<saying who="mst">mutewit: hey, he got you half way there</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mutewit: oh wait.</saying>
<saying who="mst">mutewit: how about you read p3rl.org/substr and p3rl.org/map and have a go yourself</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mutewit: yes  , you need substr($long_s, $_, 5)</saying>
<saying who="mst">mutewit: this is a help-you-to-learn channel</saying>
<saying who="mst">mutewit: not a &quot;write your code for you&quot; channel</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mutewit: and beware from fencepost errors.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">like substr($long_s , 1000, 5)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Because that will be &quot;&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Or a 4 chars length.</saying>
<saying who="mutewit">rindolf: I wanted the length argument to be 5 :p</saying>
<saying who="mutewit">mst: I understand, I just missed the $_ + 5 issue.</saying>
<saying who="mst">mutewit: right. what I&#39;m saying is, you should have experimented</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mutewit: yes, I know.</saying>
<saying who="mst">mutewit: then shown us the experiment and said &quot;I can&#39;t work out why this is still wrong, here&#39;s what I&#39;ve worked out so far&quot;</saying>
<saying who="mst">mutewit: then we can help you learn</saying>
<saying who="mst">mutewit: assuming learning to write stuff yourself is what you&#39;re aiming for</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">waits for tybalt89 to come up with a funky regex to do it.</me_is>
<saying who="mst">(if it isn&#39;t, please just throw yourself off a cliff or something, kthx ;)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mst: I think that&#39;s the case, no need to preach to mutewit about it.</saying>
<saying who="mutewit">mutewit: I did, and figured out the soln. when switching windows.</saying>
<saying who="mst">mutewit: aye. I&#39;m just trying to explain how to get the most learning out of us as well as the most working code.</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">sometimes thinks we spend much more IRC volume discussing netiquette than actually suffering from the bad netiquette.</me_is>
<saying who="mutewit">But by the time I came back to the channel there was a whole page of &quot;preaching&quot;.</saying>
<saying who="mutewit">I was using a split method with array indexing and it felt too much like a C-approach.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mutewit: oh, you split the string into chars?</saying>
<saying who="mst">yeah, by the time you&#39;ve done map, join, split, ...</saying>
<saying who="mst">you&#39;ve basically just reimplemented substr badly :)</saying>
<saying who="mutewit">rindolf: That&#39;s what I was doing, but the map/substr approach is a lot cleaner.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mutewit: yeah/</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mutewit: split into chars sometimes has some uses.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mutewit: but this reminds me too much of SICP.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">perlbot: sicp</saying>
<saying who="perlbot">rindolf: http://mitpress.mit.edu/sicp/ - &quot;Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs&quot; - A Classical Text on Programming</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mutewit: see - http://www.shlomifish.org/lecture/Perl/Lightning/Too-Many-Ways/slides/slide13.html</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mutewit: this is how an SICP programmer will implement a simple text processing task.</saying>
<saying who="mutewit">SICP, love the book.</saying>
<saying who="mutewit">and all the OCaml work this year has given rise to a functional bent of mind</saying>
<saying who="mutewit">which is kinda screwing around with my perl code.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mutewit: yeah.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mutewit: http://www.shlomifish.org/lecture/Perl/Lightning/Too-Many-Ways/slides/slide12.html - this is the fastest Perl solution.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">At least in speed.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">It can be a little shorter with a regex lookahead, but it&#39;s less elegant and slower.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">http://www.shlomifish.org/lecture/Perl/Lightning/Too-Many-Ways/slides/slide9.html - there you go.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mutewit: did you know how to program before reading SICP?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I think it&#39;s not a good introductory book.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">MIT are going to ditch it in favour of some Python/Robotics curriculum.</saying>
<saying who="mst">I think it&#39;s only a good introductory book if you know some math and have the brain to follow it</saying>
<saying who="mst">it teaches a lot of hard concepts very quickly</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">mst: from a &quot;I&#39;m from the humanities department&quot; point of view it&#39;s managable. it&#39;s not easy, but everyone can work with it.</saying>
<saying who="tybalt89">eval: $_ = &quot;0123456789abcdefgh&quot;; [ /(?=(.{5}))/g ]</saying>
<saying who="buubot">tybalt89: [&quot;01234&quot;,12345,23456,34567,45678,56789,&quot;6789a&quot;,&quot;789ab&quot;,&quot;89abc&quot;,&quot;9abcd&quot;,&quot;abcde&quot;,&quot;bcdef&quot;,&quot;cdefg&quot;,&quot;defgh&quot;]</saying>
<saying who="mutewit">rindolf: Yes.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mutewit: ah. Using what?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">tybalt89++ # Up for the challenge.</saying>
<saying who="mutewit">and yes, MIT ditched SICP in favor of a Python-based intro course.</saying>
<saying who="tybalt89">rindolf: I was off in other windows :(</saying>
<saying who="tybalt89">mutewit: ^^  for 5 char slices</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mutewit: don&#39;t use it if you want future generations to understand it.</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">slaps tybalt89 with mst&#39;s slipper for golfing mutewit&#39;s solution and telling him it&#39;s a good idea.</me_is>
<saying who="tybalt89">rindolf: that&#39;s not golfing, just common simple regex :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">tybalt89: sigh.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">tybalt89: simple.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">irregular regular expression.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Maybe use Regexp::Common</saying>
<saying who="mutewit">I added in tybalt89&#39;s code but commented it for future reference.</saying>
<saying who="mst">I&#39;d definitely use the substr approach for real code</saying>
<saying who="mst">tybalt89&#39;s code is cleverness to prove it can be done; I don&#39;t believe he was recommending it</saying>
<saying who="tybalt89">mst: sigh, yes, I am recommending it.  It&#39;s the clearest solution.</saying>
<saying who="mst">tybalt89: I respectfully disagree.</saying>
<saying who="mst">I find the substr approach far more obvious</saying>
<saying who="Chazz">rindolf, ty. :)</saying>
<saying who="mst">but then, I mostly write applications perl rather than scripts, so I only engage in regexp cleverness when actively useful</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">tybalt89: look-aheads and look-behinds are dark corners of the Perl not-so-reg-regexes</saying>
<saying who="Yaakov">In the context of this particular problem, it&#39;s pretty straightforward, but, knowledge of the development/maintenance team(s) would push my choce one way or another.</saying>
<saying who="tybalt89">mst: note it took rindolf three tries, and even then he got it wrong.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">tybalt89: well, I&#39;m not focused now.</saying>
<saying who="mst">tybalt89: map substr($str, $_, 5), 0 .. length($str)-5; ?</saying>
<saying who="mst">maybe -6</saying>
<me_is who="tybalt89">turns the lens, trying to focus rindolf </me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">mst: -5</saying>
<saying who="mst">but it&#39;s hardly difficult; rindolf&#39;s just having a day of silly mistakes</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Unit tests!</saying>
<saying who="mst">I&#39;d expect him to get it right first time when on form too :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Some clear code is hard to get right.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Doesn&#39;t make it less clear.</saying>
<saying who="mst">yeah</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Most people will not write a correct binary search at first try.</saying>
<saying who="tybalt89">&quot;maybe -6&quot; is proof of unclearness :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">But the correct binary search is easy to digest.</saying>
<saying who="mst">tybalt89: no, it&#39;s proof it&#39;s 8pm on a sunday and I&#39;m not particularly awake either</saying>
<saying who="mst">but your code just made me go &quot;hang on, WHAT?!&quot;</saying>
<saying who="mst">then I had to stop and dissect it</saying>
<saying who="mst">-then- I saw what you were doing</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mst++</saying>
<saying who="mst">also, the substr approach displays the semantics and the reasoning</saying>
<saying who="mst">whereas the regex approach displays, well, line noise, frankly</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mst: why don&#39;t we agree to disagree with tybalt89 ?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mst: so how&#39;s the weather? ;-)</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Slippers and Perl</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="worst-perl-programmer-in-the-world">
        <meta>
            <title>Worst Perl Programmer in the World</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="papertigers">is there just a way of importing the global variables in the module from the main script?</saying>
<saying who="anno">no</saying>
<saying who="nadim">yes</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">anno: you can using Exporter</saying>
<saying who="anno">depends</saying>
<saying who="nadim">but I hope no one will teach you</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">nadim: sorry. :-(</saying>
<saying who="anno">from the main script?</saying>
<saying who="nadim">for what?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">nadim: about the Exporter.</saying>
<saying who="nadim">bad boy!</saying>
<saying who="tm604">papertigers: yes. but definitely don&#39;t do this: { no strict &#39;refs&#39;; *{&quot;main::$_&quot;} = sub () { $constant{$_} } foreach keys %constant; }</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">nadim: :-(</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">papertigers: please design a good API using subroutines and objects.</saying>
<saying who="nadim">OK I get it you are all working towards the same goal. making the worst perl developer in the universe</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">nadim: yes, someone has to outcompete me.</saying>
<saying who="Khisanth">that would be hard</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">nadim: I&#39;m tired of being the worst Perl hacker for 5 years straight.</saying>
<saying who="simcop2387">heh</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">nadim: it&#39;s not easy.</saying>
<saying who="nadim">.me hands the black camel to rindolf</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">nadim: it involves many commitments.</saying>
<saying who="nadim">rindolf: lol, true</saying>
<saying who="Khisanth">but at least it explains all the advice you have been giving</saying>
<saying who="nadim">hehe</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Khisanth: true. :-)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">LOL.</saying>
<saying who="simcop2387">rindolf: i dunno if anyone actually read the code to Language::Farnsworth they might think otherwise</saying>
<saying who="Khisanth">and I am not joking</saying>
<saying who="nadim">http://search.cpan.org/dist/Lingua-tlhInganHol-yIghun/ all!</saying>
<saying who="nadim">rindolf: when you can program perl like that it will be a good day to die</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">nadim: Klingon?</saying>
<saying who="nadim">right</saying>
<saying who="simcop2387">nadim++</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">nadim: heh, nice.</saying>
<saying who="squeeks">klingon? http://search.cpan.org/~jwalt/Acme-Lingua-NIGERIAN-1.0.0/NIGERIAN.pm blah.</saying>
<saying who="shorten">squeeks&#39;s url is at http://xrl.us/bhg9bo</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">nadim: I&#39;ll recommend it to someone so he can outcompete me.</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">rubs his hands with an evil grin on his face.</me_is>
<saying who="Khisanth">nadim: that doesn&#39;t seem to be using the correct font</saying>
<saying who="nadim">the module is impressing (Damian is no joke) even the documentation is great</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">nadim: we&#39;ve got a plan!</saying>
<me_is who="nadim">hides</me_is>
<me_is who="mst">dearly loves Damian&#39;s code</me_is>
<saying who="mst">but I really do wish it was all in the Acme:: namespace where it belongs</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mst: heh.</saying>
<saying who="nadim">I like his API&#39;s. very difficult to find something that is not complete and well thought</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">nadim: yes, but he tends to neglect them and then they accumulate bugs.</saying>
<saying who="nadim">I could list ten other names here</saying>
<saying who="nadim">Ingy!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">nadim: heh.</saying>
<saying who="nadim">oops, I tried not to :)</saying>
<saying who="mst">nadim: IO::All</saying>
<saying who="mst">nadim: not *everything* ingy writes needs to be Acme</saying>
<saying who="mst">though, yes, quite a bit of it :D</saying>
<saying who="nadim">mst: I didn&#39;t mean acme. I think Ingy has a lot of great ideas.</saying>
<saying who="mst">oh, you&#39;re talking about maintainership</saying>
<saying who="nadim">yes</saying>
<saying who="mst">yeah, why do you think I got so good at giving my modules away?</saying>
<saying who="nadim">what&#39;s your secret?</saying>
<saying who="tm604">ingy was responsible for jemplate, I think - still one of my favourites.</saying>
<saying who="mst">nadim: first you give &#39;em commit bits, then you give &#39;em co-maint, then when they&#39;re not looking you make a run for it.</saying>
<me_is who="nadim">makes a mental note</me_is>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>World's Worst Perl Programmer (5 years straight)</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="one-moose-per-child">
        <meta>
            <title>One Moose Per Child</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="rindolf">My Moose-based modules emit strange errors when ran under Devel::Cover . /me is a sad kitten.</saying>
<saying who="buu">When my moose emit things I begin to worry.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">I don&#39;t even have a moose.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">but I go to Ikea sometimes!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;I want a Moose!&quot;</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">buys a Moose for Su-Shee </me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">One Moose Per Child.</saying>
<saying who="buu">A moose in every.. editor?</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">I&#39;ll have to put it in the living room.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">If we perldoc -f fork a Moose-based program do we get two Meese.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: what if it&#39;s a Chocolate Moose?</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">now it&#39;s not the elephant in the room noone&#39;s talking about, it&#39;s the moose.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf: real size? living room.</saying>
<saying who="anno">Tycho de Brahe had a moose free running in his castle Unraniborg. he found a vat of beer, drank it, fell down a stair and had to be killed.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">hm, I could make a nice shower gel with moose milk powder and sell it exclusively to perl programmers.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">anno: the astronomer?</saying>
<saying who="anno">yes</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">anno: ah, really?</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">anno: I don&#39;t have a castle.</saying>
<saying who="anno">few do</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">indeed.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">wise anno.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">One Castle Per Child!</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">when I do my moose presentation, I&#39;ll rename myself to Moo-Shee.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: and rent a Castle.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">good idea. on company&#39;s expenses. ;)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: heh.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">anno: wanna come? I own Schloss Charlottenburg now. ;)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlottenburg_Palace - hmmm....</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">contemplates what to do now.</me_is>
<me_is who="Su-Shee">RESTs.</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">Maybe I&#39;ll watch more of Red vs. Blue.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Or I&#39;ll rent Schloss Charlottenburg .</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Or something.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I may want to refactor the other parts of XML-Grammar-Fiction/Screenplay. I can live without testcover.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">But I need my Moose.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>One Moose Per Child</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="do-we-have-any-doctors">
        <meta>
            <title>Do we have any doctors?</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="dxtr">Do we have any doctors in here?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dxtr: with Ph.D. or M.D.?</saying>
<saying who="munik">I have a PhD in Linguistics!</saying>
<saying who="munik">^ lie</saying>
<saying who="munik">:]</saying>
<saying who="dxtr">rindolf: I don&#39;t care as long as they can treat patients</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dxtr: heh.</saying>
<saying who="munik">:o</saying>
<saying who="munik">webmd.com</saying>
<saying who="munik">might be better than #perl</saying>
<saying who="dxtr">rindolf: That question would be fun in combat. &quot;WE NEED A DOCTOR HERE!&quot; - &quot;PH.D OR M.D!?&quot;</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Do we have any doctors in here?</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="it-is-slower">
        <meta>
            <title>It's slower</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="tm604">eval: my $txt = &quot;this is a test&quot;; my $rslt = substr($txt, 4, length($txt) - 4, undef); [ $txt, $rslt ];</saying>
<saying who="buubot">tm604: [&quot;this&quot;,&quot; is a test&quot;]</saying>
<saying who="tm604">^ can anyone suggest a neater way of writing that? thought undef for the 3rd substr parameter would work instead of explicitly giving a length.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">eval: my $txt = &quot;this is a test&quot;; my $rslt = substr($txt, 4, - 4, q{}); [ $txt, $rslt ];</saying>
<saying who="buubot">rindolf: [&quot;thistest&quot;,&quot; is a &quot;]</saying>
<saying who="tm604">Just surprised that omitting the length for substr isn&#39;t the same as passing undef.</saying>
<saying who="anno">tm604: sometimes perl makes a difference between &quot;not specified&quot; and undef</saying>
<saying who="ishi">tm604: wouldn&#39;t regexpr be shorted?  I&#39;m not sure what passes as &#39;neat&#39; in perl :)</saying>
<saying who="ishi">shorter, even...</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">eval: @s = (&quot;Long string this is a test&quot; =~ m{\A(.{0,6})(.*?)\z}ms); [@s]</saying>
<saying who="buubot">rindolf: [&quot;Long s&quot;,&quot;tring this is a test&quot;]</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">tm604: will that work?</saying>
<saying who="tm604">rindolf: thanks, that may be a better option.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">tm604: nice. :-)</saying>
<saying who="Khisanth">that would definitely not be &quot;better&quot; ...</saying>
<saying who="ishi">it&#39;s slower ;)</saying>
<saying who="tm604">hmm, since I&#39;m passing this through SOAP::Lite through a vpn on the other side of the world maybe three times a day, I think I&#39;ll have to rewrite this part in highly-efficient x64 assembler with fallback to GPU if available.</saying>
<saying who="sacx">nah you need an FPGA</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Mission critical fast</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="surviving-without-a-s">
        <meta>
            <title>Surviving without "a"'s</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="anno">may be neat, but hard to follow</saying>
<saying who="anno">not fore real code</saying>
<saying who="Botje">qubit: cute.</saying>
<saying who="Botje">*anno</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">how did you get.. ah. ;)</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">Botje: clean your a so you don&#39;t slide to the q ;)</saying>
<saying who="Botje">Su-Shee: switch from qwerty to azerty :p</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">:)</saying>
<saying who="Botje">ant i&#39;m distracted</saying>
<me_is who="Su-Shee">steals Botje&#39;s a while he&#39;s distracted anyway...</me_is>
<saying who="Botje">give th.t b.ck!!</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">lAlAlAlaaaaah! :)</saying>
<saying who="Botje">how will i cope without .n . key!</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">&quot;h&quot;.chr(ord(&#39;b&#39;)-1).&quot;t&quot;...</saying>
<saying who="anno">4in&#39;t th4t good enough</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">*hehe* ;)</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">take anno&#39;s. ;)</saying>
<saying who="mst">time for 4n 4cme module!</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">god what have I done.. ;)</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">lipogrammatical perl.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">is that the opposite of lowfat c?</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">(lipograms are works with one letter not used...)</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">ah. of course. it&#39;s leipogramm in german..</saying>
<saying who="anno">hmm... lipos - fat, lipein - lack</saying>
<saying who="anno">ah, leipein</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Surviving without the letter "a".</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="what-would-your-nickname-imply">
        <meta>
            <title>What would your nickname imply</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="fedoragirl">wait, people use binary packages in freebsd?</saying>
<saying who="asarch">fedoragirl, pkg_add -rv &lt;package_name&gt;</saying>
<saying who="fedoragirl">I thought everyone compiled from source manually or from ports</saying>
<saying who="fedoragirl">:(</saying>
<saying who="asarch">No, not any more</saying>
<saying who="fedoragirl">I knew it was possible</saying>
<saying who="fedoragirl">I just didn&#39;t realize anyone would actually do that</saying>
<saying who="fedoragirl">I thought it was a gimmick</saying>
<saying who="EdwardIII">those wacky devil worshipers over at freebsd</saying>
<saying who="fedoragirl">it&#39;s funny because my roomate is into demonology</saying>
<saying who="fedoragirl">and she actually uses fedora</saying>
<saying who="fedoragirl">while I, for the most part, use freebsd or debian</saying>
<saying who="EdwardIII">yet your nickname would imply otherwise</saying>
<saying who="fedoragirl">my nickname implies a lot of things</saying>
<saying who="EdwardIII">bsdgirl would just attract far too much attention</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">EdwardIII: thanking you for pointing out the obvious. I think, noone would have noticed otherwise.</saying>
<saying who="EdwardIII">come to mention it maybe i&#39;ll take that nickname arf arf</saying>
<saying who="fedoragirl">bsdgirl is actually taken</saying>
<saying who="fedoragirl">and I really should find a new one</saying>
<saying who="MorgyN">hats &lt;3</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">-NickServ- debiangirl is not registered.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">man, lucky for us women, there more distributions out there than women in computing. we can ALL have our own nick!</saying>
<saying who="mst">Su-Shee++ # roflmao</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: heh.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">yggdrasilgirl, slackgirl, fromscratchgirl .. imagine the possibilities.</saying>
<saying who="EdwardIII">slackboy sounds pretty sexy</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>What would your nickname imply</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="social-web-browser">
        <meta>
            <title>The browser for the social web</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="rindolf">LumberCartel: hi, what&#39;s up? Long time.</saying>
<saying who="LumberCartel">Hi rindolf.  Yeah, it has been quite some time.  I&#39;ve been very busy setting up and supporting networks, and creating interactive web sites (written in Perl, using PostgreSQL for the database; good stuff like that).  How are you?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">LumberCartel: I have a job.</saying>
<saying who="LumberCartel">rindolf:  Congratulations!  What are you doing for work?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">LumberCartel: I&#39;m doing Perl+Catlayst work for a Tel Aviv based startup.</saying>
<saying who="LumberCartel">rindolf:  Very nice!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">LumberCartel: and been working on Freecell Solver ( http://fc-solve.berlios.de/ ) and http://www.shlomifish.org/open-source/projects/black-hole-solitaire-solver/</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I converted the Black Hole Solitaire solver to C and it is now running faster, so I ran it on the first 1 million PySolFC deals.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">About 86% of them are solvable.</saying>
<saying who="LumberCartel">Freecell solver?  What are you trying to do?  Make employees feel even more bored at their already-so-boring-that-they-play-Freecell jobs?  Heheh.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">LumberCartel: they should learn programming and help me with Freecell Solver. Then they won&#39;t be bored.</saying>
<saying who="LumberCartel">heheh.</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">is going to delete ~/.flock/ - useless piece of sh*t.</me_is>
<saying who="LumberCartel">Isn&#39;t Flock that thing that spun off from Netscape?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">LumberCartel: Flock is the browser for the social web.</saying>
<saying who="LumberCartel">Yeah, that&#39;s the one.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">LumberCartel: only I found it to be the unsocial browser .</saying>
<saying who="[vlad]">social web?</saying>
<saying who="LumberCartel">A handful of my customers still use Netscape 9.  They tried Flock, and hated it.</saying>
<saying who="LumberCartel">Or is it Netscape 8?  Ah, I don&#39;t care.</saying>
<saying who="LumberCartel">Most of my clients use Opera or Firefox these days.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">LumberCartel: Netscape 9...</saying>
<me_is who="LumberCartel">laughs in appreciation for the version of Netscape.</me_is>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>The browser for the social web</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="discussion-revision-numbers">
        <meta>
            <title>Revision Numbers</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="rindolf">jawnsy: no version numbers of what?</saying>
<saying who="jawnsy">rindolf: version numbers for your documentation stuff. like a way to download the web site as a tarball, with a version number (maybe even a date)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jawnsy: ah.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jawnsy: I&#39;m using Subversion for it.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jawnsy: I can start making releases with version numbers.</saying>
<saying who="tag">subversion revision numbers are not the same as version numbers, and typically shouldn&#39;t be used to source version numbers.</saying>
<saying who="tag">unless you don&#39;t care that the version number is totally meaningless.  In that case, you might as well use a date so it can atleast mean *something*</saying>
<saying who="buu">tag: Let&#39;s use UUIDS!</saying>
<saying who="tag">oh, like git?</saying>
<saying who="tag">yeah it&#39;s the same</saying>
<saying who="buu">&quot;Dude, version 91239213912ASD!@#ASDASDADS!@#!@!&quot; is totally superiour to &quot;124912312ASD1242412FF232&quot;</saying>
<saying who="tag">They have no real value, other than the ability to uniquely identify a something</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">buu: LOL.</saying>
<saying who="Botje">well, git&#39;s sha1 sum at least identify a point in time</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">tag: I won&#39;t use subversion rev numbers.</saying>
<saying who="tag">without telling you jack shit about what that something is</saying>
<saying who="buu">To be fair, svn numbers increase..</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">buu: yes, but an earlier branch can have a later rev number.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">buu: I think Config-IniFiles used CVS revisions as version numbers.</saying>
<saying who="buu">rindolf: Uh oh</saying>
<saying who="buu">rindolf: I feel the world around me collapsing.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Discussing revision numbers</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="SOAP-1">
        <meta>
            <title>SOAP</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="Glanzmann">Hello; Is there a perl module that can all a routine with complex typed defined in a wsdl file?</saying>
<saying who="Debolaz">Glanzmann: You mean a SOAP client with WSDL support?</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">wsdl as in soap and wsdl? then there is SOAP::WSDL.</saying>
<saying who="Glanzmann">Debolaz: Yes, but I need to write a server as well. :-)</saying>
<saying who="Glanzmann">Su-Shee: Okay. I&#39;ll try that one.</saying>
<saying who="Debolaz">Glanzmann: Didn&#39;t your mother ever tell you to not use SOAP? :)</saying>
<saying who="Glanzmann">Yes, she did. I&#39;m unlucky. I&#39;m forced to use it.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">SOAP - you still feel dirty afterwards.</saying>
<me_is who="f00li5h">keeps scrubbing but doesn&#39;t feel clean</me_is>
<saying who="Su-Shee">f00li5h: let me send you one of my handmade hemp-sheabutter-almond oil-babassu soaps. ;)</saying>
<saying who="f00li5h">sheabutter!</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">we&#39;re disabling our SOAP stuff. it only gets more complicated every day.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>SOAP</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="eclipsed">
        <meta>
            <title>Eclipsed</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="kleanchap">Is there an IDE for Perl?  I need to debug some of my code.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">kleanchap: well there&#39;s Padre, but you&#39;ll spend as long trying to install it ...</saying>
<saying who="Zaba">kleanchap, perl has a debugger: perl -d</saying>
<saying who="Cipher-0">There&#39;s always Komodo.</saying>
<saying who="Cipher-0">I use Notepad++, but as people here will attest, I suck.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">perlbot: ide </saying>
<saying who="perlbot">rindolf: Padre - padre.perlide.org, Komodo, Eclipse (with EPIC), KDevelop, X/GNU Emacs, gvim, TextMate; see also http://perl.net.au/wiki/Perl_developer_tools and definitely not Xcode</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">kleanchap: ^^^</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">kleanchap: and it&#39;s in the FAQ for crying out loud.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">anno: yes.</saying>
<saying who="kleanchap">Zaba, rindolf and Altreus Thnx!</saying>
<saying who="squeeks">definitely not Xcode? but.. but... but... I went to all the effort to make http://github.com/squeeks/Xcode-Perl-File-Templates</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">kleanchap: I can recommend perl -d as well.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">is perl+eclipse any good?</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">oh right I remember</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">I wanted a vim plugin for $IDE and none of them worked</saying>
<saying who="squeeks">&quot;is...eclipse any good&quot; what</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">squeeks: valid question &gt;:(</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">eclipse seems to be one of those platforms which make me wonder what processor development has really acheived in the last 20 years.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">it means you can do more shit really really slowly</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">&quot;Gosh, I can still type faster than this, something is very wrong in the universe&quot;</saying>
<saying who="thrig">&quot;Gosh, eclipse killed the devo database through sheer numbers of DB connections&quot;</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">I&#39;d rather spend time programming, not sitting on my hands while eclipse decides it might work today</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">If I wanted to sit on my hands, I&#39;d be using C++ ;)</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">&quot;I hear eclipse is really nice, but I&#39;m still waiting for it to load&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rokoteko">&quot;Gosh, eclipse&#39;s spell checker got confused between cvs and csv.&quot;</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">kent\n: swordfights</saying>
<saying who="squeeks">kent\n: so you could effectively hit your head against the keyboard</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">eclipse: What your momma causes when she stands up</saying>
<saying who="rokoteko">written using eclipse&#39;s help: sub look_mom_I_can_parse_HTML_with_regex { $_[0] =~ /HTML/ }</saying>
<saying who="squeeks">What was that comment that went something along the lines of &quot;I&#39;m a grown up now, I can eat raw cookie dough and parse HTML with regular expressions&quot;</saying>
<me_is who="kent\n">thinks he should compile a list of things to bash and make it a factoid. PHP, Eclipse, Microsoft,  # there&#39;s a start</me_is>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Eclipsed</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="paint-of-the-bikeshed">
        <meta>
            <title>Paint of the Bikeshed</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="rindolf">Regarding perlipc.pod : in the beginning of the sentence should I write &quot;N.B. If the signal is fired, something bad happens.&quot; or &quot;N.B.: if the signal is fired, something bad happens.&quot; ?</saying>
<saying who="talexb">With the colon, plz. :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">talexb: I see.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">talexb: and a lowercase &quot;if&quot;?</saying>
<saying who="talexb">No, I think that could be upper case ..</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">talexb: I thought so too, but the original was the other way.</saying>
<saying who="talexb">it&#39;s a sentence unto itself.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">talexb: but it&#39;s after a colon.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">talexb: a colon does not start a new sentence.</saying>
<saying who="talexb">I dunno. My degree&#39;s in Engineering, not English. :(</saying>
<saying who="talexb">For me, the colon says, &quot;Thing to the left is the title, thing to the right is the content.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">talexb: OK, thanks anyway.</saying>
<saying who="PerlJam">rindolf: I&#39;d capitalize &quot;If&quot;</saying>
<saying who="sdgvf">rindolf: how about just &#39;Note:&#39;</saying>
<me_is who="talexb">\o/</me_is>
<saying who="PerlJam">sdgvf: because he wants to &quot;Note Well:&quot; not just &quot;Note:&quot;  :)</saying>
<saying who="Zaba">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colon_(punctuation), &#39;Use of capitals&#39;</saying>
<saying who="anno">Note well: ...</saying>
<saying who="sdgvf">most people, even if they know what N.B. stands for, aren&#39;t going to note it a whole lot harder than if it just says Note:</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Bikeshedding.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">PerlJam: according to Zaba&#39;s wikipedia link, it should not be capitalised.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">what it&#39;s for nota bene?</saying>
<saying who="PerlJam">rindolf: My reading of the article is inconclusive as to what it &quot;should&quot; be.  It seems to all depend on who&#39;s manual of style you subscribe to.</saying>
<saying who="^Mike\b">Su-Shee: yes</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">if a real sentence which could stand for its own follows, I start with a capital letter. if not, I don&#39;t.</saying>
<saying who="talexb">By the way: Don&#39;t forget what colour you&#39;d like the bike shed painted.</saying>
<saying who="PerlJam">talexb: &quot;color&quot;  ;-&gt;</saying>
<saying who="talexb">Pffffffft. ;)</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Wait.. we&#39;re -painting- the bikeshed now? Nobody ever mentioned paint before...</saying>
<saying who="talexb">LeoNerd And you&#39;re head of the committee to choose the new COLOUR.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">&quot;first we choose the color, then we choose the paint.&quot; (from my english teacher at school.. :)</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">$ perl -MConvert::Color -E&#39;say Convert::Color-&gt;new(&quot;bikeshed&quot;)-&gt;as_rgb-&gt;rgb&#39;   =&gt;  Unable to parse color name bikeshed at -e line 1</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">doesn&#39;t the paint type preclude the colour choice? and paint manufacturer?</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Hehe.. Now we&#39;re arguing about the process of bikeshedding.. Go meta :)</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">LeoNerd: you read my mind</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">and now I mention that, were&#39; metameta something</saying>
<saying who="talexb">Taking things a *little* too literally.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">kent\n: it&#39;s a lesson to illustrate that color and paint are two different things...</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Colour is very complex problem...</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">A lot of computer-type techies think it&#39;s just an RGB triplet, or maybe a triplet in some other space...</saying>
<saying who="talexb">And anyway, Google&#39;s just patented the primary colours in their logo. But mauve is still available. For good reason.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">LeoNerd: luckily, I&#39;ve learned &quot;color&quot; by actual &quot;paint&quot;. ;)</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">Yeah, it matters about whats in the proximity of the bikeshed, perceptual colour :(</saying>
<saying who="anno">German uses the same word for color and paint, so we need to be taught the difference</saying>
<saying who="anno">same with shadow and shade</saying>
<me_is who="LeoNerd">takes anno out back to &quot;teach him a lesson&quot;</me_is>
<saying who="Su-Shee">anno: excellent example. same with freedom and liberty.</saying>
<me_is who="kent\n">wonders if the bikeshed has to be colourblind safe </me_is>
<me_is who="talexb">wonders what colour a duck blind is. Oh. Camoflage. Never mind.</me_is>
<saying who="Su-Shee">camouflage. you&#39;ve just introduced french into the discussion ;)</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">talexb: what colours are blind ducks painted though?</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">wait till we start painting our words, bikeshed synaesthesia sounds like a win.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Which paint do you want your bikeshed?</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="cobol-and-slices">
        <meta>
            <title>COBOL and Slices</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="BinGOs">it was someone asking for help with *python* man-in-the-middle script in a Perl channel.</saying>
<saying who="BinGOs">persistently</saying>
<saying who="rcsheets">why can&#39;t they figure out we&#39;re all about cobol in here? :(</saying>
<saying who="BinGOs">Nah, metallica</saying>
<saying who="dngor">rcsheets: They seem to be skipping the IDENTIFICATION DIVISON.</saying>
<saying who="rcsheets">dngor: kids these days, always skimming</saying>
<saying who="pcard">rcsheets: LOL</saying>
<saying who="dngor">I would give him the cliffs notes to the channel, but I&#39;m from a very flat region.</saying>
<saying who="pcard">rcsheets: I remember someone once coming in to this channel asking how to port a Perl program into Cobol</saying>
<saying who="rcsheets">D:</saying>
<saying who="Mimisbrunnr">bwahahaha</saying>
<saying who="Mimisbrunnr">really?</saying>
<saying who="pcard">yes</saying>
<saying who="rcsheets">that&#39;s... that&#39;s... horrid</saying>
<saying who="rcsheets">maybe they were off their medication</saying>
<saying who="pcard">heh</saying>
<saying who="Mimisbrunnr">that&#39;s like asking to port a GUI to an adding machine</saying>
<saying who="BinGOs">I am so glad all the drugs, alcohol and therapy have managed to destroy all my memories of COBOL</saying>
<saying who="rcsheets">i need to implement a restful web app on my abacus</saying>
<saying who="pcard">Mimisbrunnr: lol</saying>
<saying who="Mimisbrunnr">rcsheets: it could be done - but we will need a lot of booze</saying>
<saying who="Mimisbrunnr">get me drunk enough, I&#39;ll program on anything</saying>
<saying who="Mimisbrunnr">including your cat</saying>
<saying who="rcsheets">Mimisbrunnr: can we do the booze part without the cobol/abacus/etc?</saying>
<saying who="pcard">BinGOs: indeed.... I did Cobol way back, and it&#39;s not something I care to go back to</saying>
<saying who="BinGOs">Though I do still shudder subconsciously whilst watching BSG</saying>
<saying who="pcard">BinGOs: the original or the newer one?</saying>
<saying who="Mimisbrunnr">rcsheets - deal</saying>
<saying who="BinGOs">Whenever they go on about the Gods of COBOL.</saying>
<saying who="Mimisbrunnr">Ya R’lyeh! COBOL fhtagn!</saying>
<saying who="ZadYree">Huh? what does @array[$arg] mean in p5?</saying>
<saying who="pcard">it&#39;s an array slice</saying>
<saying who="pcard">or a slice of pie</saying>
<saying who="pcard">one of those</saying>
<saying who="rcsheets">mmm</saying>
<saying who="anno">a warnable offence</saying>
<saying who="rcsheets">array slice, a la mode</saying>
<saying who="pcard">for pie?</saying>
<saying who="pcard">warn if pie; ?</saying>
<saying who="ZadYree">heh</saying>
<saying who="pcard">oh I see</saying>
<saying who="pcard">warn &quot;Pie&#39;s done!&quot; if defined $pie;</saying>
<saying who="Mimisbrunnr">pcard: never warn if pie; rejoice if pie</saying>
<saying who="pcard">ah</saying>
<saying who="szr">say &quot;mmmmm, pie!&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rcsheets">well, warning when it&#39;s done could make sense, inasmuch as you don&#39;t want to burn it</saying>
<saying who="pcard">rcsheets: yeah, like bell/beeper on an oven</saying>
<saying who="rcsheets">yes</saying>
<saying who="rcsheets">then the rejoice would be triggered when it&#39;s cool enough to eat</saying>
<saying who="Mimisbrunnr">sleep until ( $pie eq &#39;done&#39; );</saying>
<saying who="pcard">it&#39;s still up to the baker to actually turn off the oven and remove the pie</saying>
<saying who="Mimisbrunnr">hrmm, wait no, I would never wake up</saying>
<saying who="pcard">Mimisbrunnr: there you go</saying>
<saying who="pcard">aww</saying>
<saying who="pcard">doh</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>COBOL and Slices</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-who-is-spartacus">
        <meta>
            <title>Who is Spartacus?</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="Su-Shee">(I&#39;m not huskypaw. I swear... :)</saying>
<saying who="dngor">Me neither.  I&#39;m also not Spartacus.</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">is Spartacus.</me_is>
<me_is who="rindolf">just is.</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">I have E-mail again, too.</saying>
<saying who="fizztpok">I think you&#39;re a figment of my imagination.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">fizztpok: I&#39;m still Spartacus.</saying>
<saying who="mst">fizztpok: out of all the possible people that could exist you imagined *rindolf* ?!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mst: LOL.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mst++</saying>
<saying who="stunix">yay, I found my Perl-tshirt.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">stunix: pics, please.</saying>
<saying who="stunix">#!/usr/bin/perl -w</saying>
<saying who="stunix">use strict;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">stunix: don&#39;t flood.</saying>
<saying who="stunix">with the camel on the back.</saying>
<saying who="stunix">rindolf: I&#39;m not flooding.</saying>
<saying who="mst">stunix: -w is out of date.</saying>
<saying who="mst">stunix: you need a new T-shirt :)</saying>
<saying who="Khisanth">fizztpok: now I have to go and kill you ...</saying>
<saying who="anno">t-shirt update</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Khisanth: :-)</saying>
<saying who="stunix">mst: I don&#39;t use &quot;-w&quot; myself, but I use strict;</saying>
<saying who="stunix">:)</saying>
<saying who="mst">stunix: use strict; use warnings;</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">is a figment of #perl&#39;s collective imagination.</me_is>
<saying who="Khisanth">rindolf was too far away but you seem to be on the same continent at least</saying>
<saying who="mst">rindolf: now that I could believe.</saying>
<saying who="fizztpok">haha</saying>
<saying who="fizztpok">there&#39;s a name for this</saying>
<saying who="fizztpok">I saw a wikipedia article on it</saying>
<saying who="fizztpok">the belief that the universe is your mind&#39;s creation</saying>
<saying who="mauke">solipsism</saying>
<saying who="anno">can&#39;t be disproved</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Spartacus and T-shirts</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-vxz-greeting-all">
        <meta>
            <title>VXZ Trolling on #perl</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="VXZ">Greeting all.  How do I get this script working with mirc?  I want it to take over the network and serve warez.  I found it in some random dark corner of the web from 1998 and I don&#39;t want to learn perl to fix it.  Also, why aren&#39;t my php regexes working on html?  Oh crap my parents are home.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">:3</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">you&#39;ve been here before, I can tell</saying>
<saying who="f00li5h">VXZ: I want to ban you, but it&#39;s too grand a troll ... i have to admire it for a time</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>VXZ Trolling on #perl</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-eviloverlords">
        <meta>
            <title>The Evil Overlords of #perl</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="nanonyme">bamccaig_, yeah. Then you can look at Try::Tiny like preaction said and treat DBI&#39;s deaths as exceptions. Or use eval {}. preaction said Try::Tiny is cleaner and I guess I&#39;m gonna trust him on that.</saying>
<saying who="preaction">HA HA HA THAT WAS YOUR FIRST MISTAKE!</saying>
<saying who="nanonyme">;)</saying>
<saying who="nanonyme">preaction, the second is not noticing you completely rewrite Try::Tiny so my computer blows up? :P</saying>
<saying who="preaction">nanonyme: no, it&#39;s letting me build my atomic supermen so that i can win at basketball against the jesters of dunk, the Harlem Globetrotters</saying>
<saying who="preaction">i am no comic-book supervillian, my plans are even more convoluted! that means they&#39;re better and are sure to work! like George Clooney in Ocean&#39;s Eleven</saying>
<me_is who="apeiron">distributes copies of the evil overlord list</me_is>
<saying who="preaction">what? where am i on this list? I demand a reissue!</saying>
<saying who="preaction">oh, wait, here i am. in the footnote &quot;slightly less-evil overlords&quot;.</saying>
<saying who="nanonyme">preaction, underlords? :p</saying>
<saying who="preaction">#lessambitiousperlprogrammers</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">wonderlords.</saying>
<saying who="pkrumins">press button. get perl.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>The evil overlords of #perl</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-ninjas-pirates-and-zombies">
        <meta>
            <title>Perl Ninjas, Pirates and Zombies</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="alyx">/w/w 55</saying>
<saying who="alyx">..fail</saying>
<me_is who="apeiron">gives alyx an award for failing that so much</me_is>
<saying who="alyx">\o/</saying>
<me_is who="alyx">hangs it up in the almighty fail closet</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">alyx: :-)</saying>
<saying who="alyx">rindolf: :D</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">55 chat windows are too much. ;)</saying>
<saying who="Botje">amen!</saying>
<saying who="Botje">I keep my irssi trimmed to &lt; 30</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">I have 3. ;)</saying>
<saying who="alyx">Botje: o_o</saying>
<saying who="alyx">I have 56 windows atm, before I cleaned up a bit, I was at ~150. ._.</saying>
<saying who="woldrich">One friend in each window, and you have 56 times more friends than me.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">bah. I like to have real conversations and to really follow a handful of channels and that&#39;s it..</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">alyx: wow.</saying>
<saying who="perlsyntax">Is there away i can look up my modules with cpan that i have installed?</saying>
<saying who="perlsyntax">if i am right.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">wow. facebook has a chat too.</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">perldoc -q installed</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: you can use a Jabber client for that.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">DrForr++</saying>
<me_is who="pragma_">gets annoyed when he exceeds 19 windows.</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">We should create a #perl &lt;-&gt; StackOverflowish interface.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">after gotten angry, I don&#39;t use my jabber stuff anymore as well ;)</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">rindolf, Feel free to make a shitoverflow interface. Just don&#39;t put it here.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">apeiron: :-)</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">no, not :-)</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">more like /ban *!*@*</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">who needs all those chats...</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">People with very empty lives.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">well it fills empty windows.. ;)</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">or, there&#39;s recently chat rockstars and chat ninjas.. ;)</saying>
<saying who="Botje">but you don&#39;t /see/ chat ninjas!</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">that&#39;s why I have so few channels.. no ninja chatting with me..</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">Not that you *know* of.</saying>
<saying who="Botje">http://www.nichtlustig.de/toondb/100701.html # relevant</saying>
<saying who="candide">Title of Botje&#39;s link: NICHTLUSTIG</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">damn. what if a ninja is asking me out and I don&#39;t get it because it&#39;s an invisible conversation?</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">Botje: harhar ;)</saying>
<saying who="Botje">Su-Shee: if dinner suddenly appears you just married a ninja</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">in a secret, hidden ceremony?</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">Botje: was I there? how was I? ;)</saying>
<saying who="pragma_">Su-Shee: your inner ninja will detect it and go on the date, if you have one.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">pragma_: ah. interesting. so I&#39;ll find myself suddenly in some ninja-restaurant and don&#39;t remember how I got there?</saying>
<saying who="Caelum">DrForr: mintty seems nice</saying>
<saying who="Caelum">DrForr: there&#39;s also puttycyg</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">It is, but 3 days ina row I&#39;ve hit that same key combo, and I can&#39;t reset it in the dialog box.</saying>
<saying who="pragma_">Su-Shee: no, your ninja will be there while your you remains oblivious</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Ninjas. :-)</saying>
<saying who="pragma_">This is why ninjas engage in rigorous 24/7 training of their ninjistu; so that they may be more in touch with their inner ninjas and be more aware of what it is doing.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">pragma_: so I stay an idiot no matter what. ;)</saying>
<saying who="pragma_">your idiot remains an idiot forever, but you can train your non-idiot to overpower your idiot.</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">But... shouldn&#39;t your inner ninja be hidden?</saying>
<saying who="Caelum">DrForr: KiTTy also has the PuttyCyg patch, and only needs the cthelper.exe from PuttyCyg</saying>
<saying who="pragma_">When you have attained true enlightenment of the ninja, then you too will become like the hidden tiger and will enjoy the pleasures of the crouching dragon.</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">www.askainnerninja.com</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">I better not google pleasures of the crouching dragon..</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">DrForr: No match for &quot;ASKAINNERNINJA.COM&quot;.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">DrForr: go ahead ;)</saying>
<saying who="mst">whould be ask -an- inner ninja.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">also no match ;)</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">*lol* askdrninja.com is taken ;)</saying>
<saying who="Botje">there&#39;s also drmcninja</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">well we could always chose to go down the rockstar path...</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">choose.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">We should become Perl pirates. Arrrrrrrrrr!</saying>
<me_is who="alyx">hands rindolf an eyepatch</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">Unleash your inner bucaneer.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;I&#39;m Guybrush Threepwood. Mighty Pirate.&quot;</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">Yeah, I&#39;ve been doing that for ages.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">.oO(johnny depp.. hm.. ;)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">And Keira Knightly.</saying>
<saying who="woldrich">What does &#39;.oO&#39; mean?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">woldrich: saying something.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Like a talk balloon.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Maybe a thought balloon?</saying>
<saying who="pragma_">. o ( This is a thought balloon. )</saying>
<saying who="woldrich">oh. I&#39;m too old for this shit</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">woldrich: it doesn&#39;t matter as long as you&#39;re young at heart.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">And there are no young Perl programmers. ;-)</saying>
<me_is who="pragma_">prefers his heart matured and fortified.</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">As &quot;Perl is dead.&quot;</saying>
<me_is who="Caelum">prefers his hearts barbecued</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">Well, that wasn&#39;t very funny.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">I wouldn&#39;t really call mst &quot;old&quot; ;)</saying>
<saying who="BinGOs">zombie perl</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: I know a Perl programmer who&#39;s now a university freshman.</saying>
<me_is who="apeiron">sends zombie kindergarteners after rindolf </me_is>
<saying who="Su-Shee">well dr dobbs agrees.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Knew him since he was in Junior high.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">apeiron: :-)</saying>
<saying who="BinGOs">perl eats your brains.</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">trains the zombie kindergarteners to be mighty Perl zombie pirates!</me_is>
<saying who="pragma_">I&#39;ve always been annoyed by the lack of zombie children running around in Left4Dead, et al.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mighty*</saying>
<saying who="Botje">pragma_: shooting kids is bad mmkay</saying>
<saying who="pragma_">At least Dead Space 2 has mutant baby toddlers you can stomp like fattened mosquitos.</saying>
<saying who="Khisanth">but these would be dead kids</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">undead</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">very important distinction!</saying>
<saying who="Khisanth">hmm well really neither, just bags of disease</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Perl vampires!</saying>
<me_is who="pragma_">would rather be a werewolf.</me_is>
<saying who="apeiron">Khisanth, every source I&#39;ve read says zombies are undead. so there.</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">shoots pragma_ with the silver bullet.</me_is>
<saying who="Khisanth">the l4d ones aren&#39;t really zombies :)</saying>
<saying who="Botje">they&#39;re more like 28 days later-style zombies</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">eh, modern games get everything wrong.</saying>
<saying who="woldrich">That girl in Resident Evil is cute.</saying>
<me_is who="Su-Shee">recommends &quot;the walking dead&quot;</me_is>
<saying who="pragma_">L4D, Resident Evil, Dead Space -- these are all &quot;zombies&quot; despite however they came to be such!</saying>
<saying who="Botje">yes, walking dead is &lt;3</saying>
<saying who="Caelum">I haven&#39;t seen the new resident evil movie yet, was it good?</saying>
<saying who="woldrich">oh yes</saying>
<saying who="Botje">it had milla shooting stuff</saying>
<saying who="Botje">what more do you want?</saying>
<saying who="pragma_">I was thinking of the Resident Evil 5 video game actually</saying>
<saying who="Khisanth">Botje: multiple millas shooting stuff?</saying>
<saying who="pragma_">System Shock</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">plot. thought-provoking themes.</saying>
<saying who="woldrich">khisanth++</saying>
<saying who="Botje">pragma_++ # yes!</saying>
<saying who="pragma_">System Shock 2</saying>
<saying who="Botje">my first-born for a system shock movie</saying>
<saying who="Botje">(done decently, that is)</saying>
<me_is who="f00li5h">nuzzles Botje </me_is>
<saying who="Su-Shee">Botje: since when do you have a firstborn?</saying>
<saying who="Botje">aagh! zomb.. oh. hi kit!</saying>
<saying who="Botje">Su-Shee: i will have!</saying>
<saying who="Khisanth">Botje: probably won&#39;t be done nicely :P</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Perl Ninjas, Pirates and Zombies</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="digits-in-variable-names">
        <meta>
            <title>Digits in Variable Names</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="jim">which perldoc for doin stuff with arrays? want to copy all but first of one array to another</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">perldoc perldsc</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">Or just (undef,@new) = @old;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Also $old[1..$#old]</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">Of course TIMTOWTDI...</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Well, @old[1..$#old]</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I think in perl 6 you can do @old[1..*-1]</saying>
<saying who="jim">@a2 = @a1[1..$#a1]?</saying>
<saying who="jim">not perl6in yet</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jim: yes, but with different names. </saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jim: else you want an array or a hash of arrays.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">perlbot: varvarname</saying>
<saying who="perlbot">rindolf: Why it&#39;s stupid to `use a variable as a variable name&#39; - http://perl.plover.com/varvarname.html</saying>
<saying who="jim">wait, are you sure mine is wrong?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jim: it&#39;s not wrong per-ce, just a red flag.</saying>
<saying who="jim">what&#39;s the flag?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jim: varvarname.</saying>
<saying who="jim">note I said @a-&gt;2&lt;- = ...</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jim: well, it&#39;s like  doing my ($x1,$x2,$x3,$x4...) - better use an array.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Assuming you want that.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Yes, what is the difference between @a2 and @a1? What is their significance?</saying>
<saying who="jim">@a1 is a complete list of phone numbers, @a2 is a list of phone numbers not yet uploaded to the phone</saying>
<saying who="thrig">@phone_numbers!</saying>
<saying who="jim">it&#39;s like that in the code</saying>
<saying who="thrig">oh, okay</saying>
<saying who="jim">I&#39;m just not typin that crap into the irc window as irc isn&#39;t the most wonderful medium for posting code</saying>
<saying who="jim">believe me, my variable names from 20 years ago tell me what they are for</saying>
<saying who="thrig">var_name_from_20_years_ago_you_re_still_not_taking_out_the_damn_trash</saying>
<saying who="jim">I&#39;m not necessarily at liberty to specify exactly what I&#39;m doing</saying>
<saying who="jim">even tho I did so in this case</saying>
<saying who="thrig">otherwise the mafia arranges a boaking accident?</saying>
<saying who="mfontani">worse; nobody expects the spanish inquisition!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I&#39;m going  crazy without buubot.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Where is he and buu?</saying>
<saying who="jim">well the way you&#39;re acting doesn&#39;t exactly induce the greatest amount of openness</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jim: I apologise.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jim: we may have erred in this.</saying>
<saying who="jim">ohman, buubot is gone&gt;?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jim: yes!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jim: for the time being.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Don&#39;t know where buu is.</saying>
<saying who="jim">that&#39;s been one useful bot</saying>
<saying who="mfontani">eval: @a=1..4; (undef,@b)=@a; \@b</saying>
<saying who="perlbot">mfontani: [2,3,4]</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">jim: You&#39;ve got several answers already. Do they not satisfy?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">perlbot: define boaking</saying>
<saying who="perlbot">rindolf: No factoid found. Did you mean one of these: [debian perldoc] [define vrby : vrby]</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jim: I think simcop has put the buubot code on github or something like that.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Well, good night @everyone.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">An array .</saying>
<saying who="jim">DrForr: they do... it&#39;s all this stuff afterwards that has me closing, &quot;spanish inquisition&quot;, &quot;mafia breakaleg&quot;... it&#39;s just unnecessary</saying>
<saying who="jim">rindolf: thanks</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jim: well, we sometimes enjoy having fun.</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">Shrug. You&#39;re the one that brought up &quot;may not be at liberty...&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jim: seems like thrig&#39;s main function, aside from being the benevolent dictator of #perl, is to interject short jokes.</saying>
<saying who="thrig">I make jokes about tall people, too</saying>
<saying who="simcop2387">rindolf: yea i have</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">thrig: :-)</saying>
<saying who="simcop2387">perlbot: source</saying>
<saying who="perlbot">simcop2387: check out my insides (i&#39;m based off buubot, so ask him for his source if you really want to start); http://github.com/simcop2387/perlbuut/ or go to http://github.com/simcop2387/buubot/</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">We can have notbuubot or buubot2 or something.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Well, buubot2 is varvarname.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">;-)</saying>
<saying who="thrig">it&#39;s not going to be @buubot</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">thrig: LOL.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Digits in Variable Names</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="when-to-use-xml-and-popcorn">
        <meta>
            <title>When to use XML and Popcorn?</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="designerjean">http://scsys.co.uk:8002/87521</saying>
<saying who="designerjean">i know i&#39;m not supposed to be using XML::Simple</saying>
<saying who="designerjean">but it&#39;s only one statement in the program</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">designerjean: is it causing problems?</saying>
<saying who="mst">yes, and it&#39;s the one that makes the $config you can&#39;t work out how to use</saying>
<saying who="designerjean">maybe</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mst: :-)</saying>
<saying who="mst">your exact problem is &quot;unable to use the results of XML::Simple&quot;</saying>
<saying who="mst">because you&#39;re stupid and XML::Simple is shit</saying>
<saying who="mst">please switch to XML::Twig</saying>
<saying who="designerjean">ok thanks</saying>
<saying who="dhoss">people still use xml?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dhoss: it&#39;s a dirty job, but it pays.</saying>
<saying who="dhoss">i guess there&#39;s that</saying>
<saying who="designerjean">another case of stupid youth</saying>
<saying who="dhoss">designerjean: how old are you</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dhoss: well, I&#39;m using XML for some stuff willingly.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dhoss: JSON wouldn&#39;t have been usable.</saying>
<saying who="dhoss">rindolf: i guess that&#39;s a legit reason</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Because I use them for text and stuff like that.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">And it&#39;s hard to do something like &lt;p&gt;Hello &lt;b&gt;dhoss&lt;/b&gt;!&lt;/p&gt; in JSON.</saying>
<saying who="rokoteko">I think its mainly amongst web programmers where JSON is appreciated the most.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">rokoteko: JSON has many valid uses.</saying>
<saying who="DuClare">XML has none</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">XML is for putting attribute markup within a stream of text.</saying>
<saying who="dhoss">rindolf: yea i can see that. json is more useful in a cross language barrier bit where markup isn&#39;t needed</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">(mostly because it came out of SGML)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">DuClare: not true.</saying>
<saying who="rokoteko">XML is very widely used. that&#39;s like saying &quot;I dont need to know Java, because the language sucks&quot; ..</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf: you&#39;re mixing semantics with style here anyways. that would be bad xml.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: I was giving an illustrative example.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf: then give a proper one. that was exactly how NOT to XML.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: besides , I think that &lt;b&gt; has some valid, semantic meaning.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">And it&#39;s also shorter than &lt;strong&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: ok.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf: no. bold doesn&#39;t mean &quot;be bold and courageous here&quot;. it means &quot;print this shit in bold typeface&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&lt;p&gt;Hello &lt;name&gt;Su-Shee&lt;/name&gt;!&lt;/p&gt;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">XML is useful for wrapping and annotating text.</saying>
<saying who="Dorward">XML is only useful for wrapping and annotating text if you use a properly designed application of XML and everyone reading the document agrees on what the meaning is.</saying>
<saying who="rokoteko">XTML vs XDML could derive from XML. (text and data respectively). then of course you should be able to embed XDML in XTML.</saying>
<saying who="rokoteko">oh wait. Im thinkin aloud.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">rokoteko: I&#39;ve recently played with an XML-specific compression tool.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">rokoteko: it achieved better compression than xz -9 --extreme but OTOH mishandled some «&quot;» not inside attributes - converting them to &amp;quot;</saying>
<saying who="rokoteko">rindolf: what requirements are you trying to meet by compressing xml?</saying>
<saying who="PerlJam">smaller XML docs :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">rokoteko: well, to reduce the size.</saying>
<saying who="rokoteko">well, doh. but why?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">rokoteko: like over the Net, etc.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">rokoteko: it&#39;s like gzip compression/decompression.</saying>
<saying who="rokoteko">rindolf: I yet fail to see the point. :(</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Only domain-specific.</saying>
<saying who="rokoteko">why?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">And if you have a lot of it it occupies less on the hard disk.</saying>
<saying who="rokoteko">Ah. you have like SHITLOADS of XML ?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">It could happen.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Java...</saying>
<saying who="PerlJam">anyone who deals with XML probably has that much  ;)</saying>
<saying who="rokoteko">Well, disk is pretty cheap.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I don&#39;t have too much XML.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Well, maybe a lot of XHTML.</saying>
<saying who="rokoteko">I was just curious about rindolf&#39;s use case.</saying>
<saying who="rokoteko">I was afraid that he was storing some binary data in XML. :)</saying>
<saying who="mst">I think he was just experimenting with technology</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Yes, I probably have more disk wasted on .mp3&#39;s and .flv&#39;s. </saying>
<saying who="rindolf">rokoteko: I have some interest in compression methods.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">rokoteko: back from high school.</saying>
<saying who="rokoteko">rindolf: :)</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">if you&#39;re the company who&#39;s transferring 120 years of documents of a car company into something flexible - THEN you have a shitload of XML.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">There have been some recent advancements.</saying>
<saying who="rokoteko">So just out of curiousity, that&#39;s fine with me. :) Im just nosy sometimes.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">rokoteko: I think the wikipedia XML dump is pretty large.</saying>
<saying who="mst">I find it&#39;s usually safe to assume that whatver rindolf&#39;s doing, there isn&#39;t a good reason for it.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">rokoteko: there was some stuff about processing it quickly using Perl, etc.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mst: :-)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mst++ # Nice burn.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">popcorn anyone? ;)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mst: but it has a huge grain of truth in it I admit.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: microwave popcorn?</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">I don&#39;t have a microwave and I was being sarcastic...</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">I need a smiley for that.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: ah.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf-shaped, obviously.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: yes, I was playing along.</saying>
<saying who="petn-randall">why not an XML-conform &lt;/sarcasm&gt; ?</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">prepares some popcorn and shares it with Su-Shee using the Popcorn-over-IRC protocol.</me_is>
<saying who="DrForr">What&#39;s this about burnt popcorn?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Popcorn-over-IRC also preserves the butter taste.</saying>
<saying who="burnedcelery">you&#39;re getting my keyboard all greasy</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">ew, butter</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">And it also supports multicasting popcorn.</saying>
<saying who="PerlJam">butter++</saying>
<saying who="PerlJam">though not so much butter that it makest he popcorn soggy.  I hate that.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>XML and Popcorn</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="the-ultimate-goal-of-programming">
        <meta>
            <title>The Ultimate Goal of One's Programming</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="rp21">i think i&#39;m too critical to be a programmer ...</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">rp21: do you mean you&#39;re too perfectionist?</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">yeah sure. there&#39;s something like &quot;too good code&quot;.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: print &quot;Hello World!\n&quot;; - that&#39;s good code.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Or maybe say &quot;Hello World!&quot;;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Can&#39;t be improved.</saying>
<saying who="rp21">hey, why did my nick change?</saying>
<saying who="rp2">yes it may be perfectionism</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">rp2: ah, sucks.</saying>
<saying who="rp2">eg i want to get all columns from a database table in Perl</saying>
<saying who="rp2">now my problem is that i want to write code that works wuith a variety of databases and both on windows and linux</saying>
<saying who="rp2">it seems that as soon as i have found a way to overcome a particular restriction, i mentally add another and spend my time trying to overcome that too, sometimes losing track of the reason i started the script</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">rp2: heh.</saying>
<saying who="rp2">if i were a better programmer i&#39;d get through the hurdles quicker and end up with solvesworldhunger.pl</saying>
<saying who="rp2">except that i&#39;d probably finish Perl 7 to write it in first</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">rp2: well, some of my programs outgrow their original purpose too.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">rp2: :-D</saying>
<saying who="rp2">except that it&#39;d never get finished because i&#39;d first fix the OSes it&#39;s supposed to run on,</saying>
<saying who="rp2">etc etc</saying>
<saying who="rp2">raaaah!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">rp2: you should hire Chuck Norris.</saying>
<saying who="rp2">yes</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Chuck Norris can end world hunger, but he thinks that hungry people make humanity a more challenging adversary.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">If everyone had enough to eat, it would be too easy for him.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">;-)</saying>
<saying who="mino">Chuck Norris also writes understandable perl code... *scnr*</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mino: LOL.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mino: Chuck Norris can read Perl code that was RSA encrypted.</saying>
<saying who="mino">rindolf: is there any difference to unencrypted one? :P</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mino: not to Chuck.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Solving World Hunger using Perl</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="cpan-module-namer-in-distress">
        <meta>
            <title>CPAN Module Namer in Distress</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Su-Shee: http://scsys.co.uk:8002/91935   &lt;== see if that runs</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">That&#39;s my &quot;static&quot; demo</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">LeoNerd: what is Tickit?</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Heh...</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Terminal Interface Construction KIT</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf: a terminal application&#39;s widget set</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Think &quot;GTK&quot; for terminals</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: ah.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">LeoNerd: like Curses::UI?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Only better, perhaps?</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Sortof, only not using Curses. :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">LeoNerd: ah.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">ok, first I need food.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Interesting.</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Also, I&#39;m not that familiar with Curses::UI but I didn&#39;t think it was widget-based..?</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">LeoNerd: I have this example open.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I think Tickit is not too good a name either.</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Well. *shrug*</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">emails some Shawarma to Su-Shee.</me_is>
<saying who="Su-Shee">rindolf: did we ask to judge the name? ;)</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">rindolf: If you want to judge all my naming you can respond to all my blog posts tagged &quot;module naming&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Make sure you uncompress it or you won&#39;t be able to eat it. :-)</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">And then if people complain I&#39;ll send them your way</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">LeoNerd: ah, my blogs aggregator is off.</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">http://leonerds-code.blogspot.com/search/label/module%20naming</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">LeoNerd: so we can form the &quot;People unhappy with LeoNerd&#39;s names support group&quot;?</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">You can if you like.. I&#39;m not. :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;Hi! My name is rindolf and I think LeoNerd picks up awful names for his modules.&quot; &quot;Hello rindolf! We all love you!&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">LOL.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">JESUS WHO CARES HOW A WIDGET SET IS CALLED?!</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Indeed..</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">LeoNerd: name the next one pink fluffy bunny.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: THE NAME IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING!111</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Hell, we have a popular OO framework named after a large Swedish animal with antlers on</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Would you use Linux if it was called 386BSD?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">OK, it could be much worse.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">LeoNerd: well so the name of a Moose based (there already was a Moose before Perl&#39;s Moose by Smalltalk, btw..) widget set will be Ikea.</saying>
<me_is who="__sri">only uses operating systems that have been named after big cats</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: that may infringe on a trademark.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>What's in a name?</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="how_much_infinity_do_you_need">
        <meta>
            <title>How Much Infinity do you need?</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="Altreus">rindolf: you can make a processor in minecraft yes</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Altreus: ah, OK.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">a computer in a computer</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Let&#39;s write a Perl-&gt;Mincraft compiler.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">very meta</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Implementing a Turing complete interpreter inside a VM is not hard.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">vi keystrokes (not vimscript) are also Turing complete.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">As is  the Game of Life and infinite Minesweeper</saying>
<saying who="jettero">rindolf: I can almost imagine GoL, but how is minesweeper going to be turing complete?</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">nuts</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">that always worked for me</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">maybe you have to log in at least once</saying>
<saying who="woldrich">bah</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jettero: http://web.mat.bham.ac.uk/R.W.Kaye/minesw/</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jettero: I have not read the paper.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jettero: of course, true Turing completeness is only possible with infinite memory.</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Ah OK</saying>
<me_is who="f00li5h">hands rindolf an infinite hotel, and books every even room</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">f00li5h: :-)</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">books every odd room that is divided by three.</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">f00li5h: is it א_0, א_1 or something more infinite?</saying>
<saying who="f00li5h">it&#39;s as infinite as it can be!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">f00li5h: ah, good.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">f00li5h: then I can book room pi.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Or sqrt(2).</saying>
<saying who="f00li5h">you sure can.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Nice.</saying>
<saying who="f00li5h">but you might like something a little more spacious</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Ah.</saying>
<saying who="f00li5h">like the rooms between 1 and 2</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Which room do you recommend?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Ah.</saying>
<saying who="j_wright">what about sqrt(-1)?</saying>
<saying who="f00li5h">plenty of space there</saying>
<saying who="f00li5h">j_wright: that room&#39;s popular, i&#39;d imagine it&#39;s booked</saying>
<saying who="f00li5h">the biggest problem is aloting extensions on the room phones</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">my infinite hotel&#39;s rooms have two numbers each, being a point on the complex plane</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">it increases address lookup time</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">also the hotel happens to be all one floor so that helps</saying>
<saying who="j_wright">so they get two sets of addresses?</saying>
<saying who="j_wright">polar too</saying>
<saying who="f00li5h">take the ⧜th left, and then head down ∞th right</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">no just one</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">each room is unique</saying>
<saying who="j_wright">or turn n degrees and go m forward</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">oh yes I suppose you could map their addresses to a new coordinate space but that&#39;s true of any plane with a landmark</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">the car park is at 0,i fyi</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>The Inifinite Hotel</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-perl-shrinks">
        <meta>
            <title>Perl Shrinks</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="Su-Shee">mst: would you like to talk about your problems now too? PerlJam? How&#39;s your marriage? Anyone recently went alcoholic? Also, would you all like to know how about my father? ;)</saying>
<saying who="mauke">use less qw(acid);</saying>
<me_is who="PerlJam">hugs Su-Shee  ... a little too tightly.</me_is>
<saying who="tm604">less acid | more perl</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">PerlJam: for sarcasm? ;) that&#39;s new :)</saying>
<saying who="PerlJam">Su-Shee: It&#39;s the #perl6 in me.  ETOOMANYHUGS :)</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">PerlJam: HARHAR :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: heh.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee++ # good burn.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shrink.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: your nick has multiple hidden meanings.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: will you sell it for 3 oz. of gold?</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Su-Shrink</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-how-can-i-switch-off-the-tv">
        <meta>
            <title>How Can I Switch off the T.V. - #perl style</title>
        </meta>
        <quote>
            <body>
                <p>
                    (This bit was posted anonymously to a pastebot on 23 March,
                    2011. It is placed her for posterity after some editing.)
                </p>
                <p>
                    Question: how can I switch off my TV?
                </p>
                <p>
                    What he wants to hear? For example: Locate on/off button
                    your TV remote a press it. The button is usually red and
                    located at the topmost line on the remote.
                </p>
                <p>
                    The #perl expert's answer: First, what do you mean with
                    "switch off"? Define it first. Nopaste your TV, TV remote
                    and the living room too.
                </p>
                <p>
                    After a nopaste:
                </p>
                <p>
                    Your room is ugly. And the TV looks terrible. Use
                    <a href="http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Clean">Mr.
                        Clean</a> on the screen and clean your living room
                    first. Use three cleaning mops instead of two. Use HDMI and
                    never use scart (?) connectors, unless you really want to.
                    Your TV remote has unreadable buttons, clean up first.
                    You're a beginner, so read:
                </p>
                <ul>
                    <li> <a
                            href="http://experts.blog/how_to_design_a_future_3D_TV.html">http://experts.blog/how_to_design_a_future_3D_TV.html</a>
                    </li>
                    <li> <a href="http://experts.blog/the_basics_of_tv_repairing.html">http://experts.blog/the_basics_of_tv_repairing.html</a>
                    </li>
                    <li> <a href="http://experts.blog/viruses_in_living_room_short_essay.html">http://experts.blog/viruses_in_living_room_short_essay.html</a>
                    </li>
                    <li> <a href="http://experts.blog/global_chip_replacement_guide.html">http://experts.blog/global_chip_replacement_guide.html</a>
                    </li>
                </ul>
                <p>IRC guest: But, i don't want be a TV expert.</p>
                <p>Answer: Why do you want to switch the TV on then?!</p>
            </body>
            <info>
                <author>Anonymous</author>
                <work href="http://perl.net.au/wiki/Perl_Humour#How_can_I_switch_off_the_T.V..3F">Pastebin Paste</work>
            </info>
        </quote>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-cats-cats-in-soviet-russia">
        <meta>
            <title>Cats in Soviet Russia</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="rindolf">Mithaldu: I think most contemporary T.V. kinda sucks.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Mithaldu: it seems very phony.</saying>
<saying who="Mithaldu">rindolf: same, i haven&#39;t actually switched on my tv in five years</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I prefer a YouTube video of a kitten riding on a turtle.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Mithaldu: :-)</saying>
<saying who="Mithaldu">:D</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Mithaldu: yes.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Mithaldu: there is one, BTW.</saying>
<saying who="Mithaldu">oh i do not doubt that</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Don&#39;t know if it&#39;s authentic.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I saw a friendly cat today, and he purred after I scratched his head.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I like Friendly cats.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I think lolcats are very subversive.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Or were.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;Ceiling cat is watching you&quot;</saying>
<saying who="Mithaldu">cats are the definition of subversive</saying>
<saying who="Mithaldu">they adopt you</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Mithaldu: heh.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">In Soviet Russia, cats own you!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">In Soviet Russia, cats are your master!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Well, in Soviet Russia and everywhere.</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">rindolf: you got it backwards.</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">In soviet russia, cats are actually your pets.</saying>
<saying who="Mithaldu">hahaha</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">kent\n: heh.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">kent\n++</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I feel better now.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Empowered but calm.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Thanks to the cats jokes.</saying>
<saying who="Mithaldu">world healing by cat jokes</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Hopefully, I&#39;ll sleep well tonight.</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">Next on the agenda. DICK JOKES!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Mithaldu: cats are good for healing I think.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">kent\n: NO!!!!!</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">( don&#39;t worry, this won&#39;t take long )</saying>
<saying who="Mithaldu">yes, as long as you do not own cables</saying>
<saying who="Mithaldu">kent\n: you mean it won&#39;t BE very long</saying>
<saying who="Mithaldu">hurr hurr</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">kent\n: I&#39;ve got 99 problems but kent\n ain&#39;t one.</saying>
<saying who="kent\n">;)</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl-cats</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Cats in Soviet Russia</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-violent-cats-and-astrology">
        <meta>
            <title>Violent Cats and Astrology</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<me_is who="f00li5h">paws at apeiron  </me_is>
<me_is who="WinstonSmith">hisses at f00li5h </me_is>
<me_is who="f00li5h">pounces on that WinstonSmith critter</me_is>
<me_is who="WinstonSmith">scratches that f00li5h and hides under the sofa</me_is>
<me_is who="Su-Shee">gets a bucket of cold water.</me_is>
<me_is who="WinstonSmith">meows at f00li5h quickly before Su-Shee comes with that water</me_is>
<me_is who="Khisanth">blasts WinstonSmith with a firehose</me_is>
<saying who="WinstonSmith">garbl grbl garblll</saying>
<me_is who="apeiron">shakes fist at &#39;variable length lookbehind not supported&#39;</me_is>
<me_is who="apeiron">also shakes fist at $CLIENT speccing against a regex a stupid jquery dev wrote instead of the well-tested module</me_is>
<saying who="Khisanth">you can change it into (?: | | | ) in at least some cases</saying>
<me_is who="WinstonSmith">jumps on top of the wardrobe, dries himself and glares menacingly at Khisanth </me_is>
<saying who="apeiron">THIS IS WHY WE USE THE MODULES, DAMNIT, BECAUSE APEIRON SUCKS AT REGEX</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">THIS IS ALSO WHY APEIRON SUCKS AT REGEX</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">IS THIS WHY WE ARE SHOUTING?</saying>
<me_is who="Khisanth">grabs an apeiron and throws it at WinstonSmith</me_is>
<saying who="apeiron">I get shouty when $CLIENTs spec stupidity.</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">@CLIENT? $CLIENTs?</saying>
<saying who="Khisanth">got shout at client then :)</saying>
<me_is who="WinstonSmith">nuzzles apeiron to calm him down</me_is>
<saying who="apeiron">WinstonSmith, that doesn&#39;t remove the stupidity from the spec.=\</saying>
<saying who="WinstonSmith">apeiron, maybe the stupidity is in $CLIENT ?</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">yes, I know that.</saying>
<me_is who="WinstonSmith">considers the nuzzling having effect - he disabled the caps key ; -)</me_is>
<me_is who="apeiron">just shouts into loudbot</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">Cat violence!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Felix Felini Lupus est!</saying>
<saying who="WinstonSmith">felix perlus aggressivus!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">WinstonSmith: Latin!</saying>
<saying who="WinstonSmith">rindolf, pseudo!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">WinstonSmith: yes, true. Mock-Latin.</saying>
<saying who="WinstonSmith">ah so you have pseudo in english?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">How do you say &quot;A cat to a cat is a wolf&quot; in Latin?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">WinstonSmith: there is pseudo there.</saying>
<saying who="SpiceWork">leo ripanus !</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">SpiceWork: what does that mean?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Leo is lion, right?</saying>
<saying who="WinstonSmith">leo is the king</saying>
<saying who="SpiceWork">no idea. a wine I loved, but year that followed sucked.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">LeoNerd.</saying>
<saying who="ne2k">leonidas</saying>
<saying who="SpiceWork">*the year that</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Correct</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">/nick TauNerd</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">/nick TaurusNerd</saying>
<saying who="SpiceWork">european wine quality varies too much :\</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Hehe.. I could go through all the zodiac signs :)</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">/nick CapricornNerd</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">LeoNerd, /nick FishNerd?</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">Somehow that doesn&#39;t have the same ring to it...</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Pices surely?</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">Pisces.</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Er, yes.. them :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I don&#39;t believe in Astrology because I&#39;m a Taurus and Tauri never believe in Astrology.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&lt;/old-joke&gt;</saying>
<saying who="Simplicity">...Lol.</saying>
<me_is who="Su-Shee">is a Leo-Shee. </me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: ah, you&#39;re a Leo too?</saying>
<saying who="Simplicity">I don&#39;t exactly /follow/ Astrology, but I believe some horoscopes hit spot on.</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">They&#39;re vague enough to apply to anyone.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Simplicity: there was something about a survey where people read the Astrological forecast either before or after the week, and those that read it aferwards said it did not happen to them.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">well I choose only the good one and manipulate the day accordingly ;)</saying>
<saying who="Simplicity">Heh</saying>
<saying who="WinstonSmith">Su-Shee++</saying>
<saying who="SpiceWork">I was really dissapointed on how superstitious japanese people are at first. then I stopped idiolzing them :p</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">but I&#39;m a firm believer in compenent manipulation anyways ;)</saying>
<saying who="Simplicity">apeiron: I didn&#39;t want to go there as to not offend any possible believers.</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">I find them interesting. Usually they&#39;re completely off the mark, but just occasionally they give me something interesting to think about, something to focus my mind on.. reminding me something I sortof knew anyway</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">Simplicity, If people can&#39;t tolerate the truth, they shouldn&#39;t be on the internet. :)</saying>
<saying who="WinstonSmith">apeiron, omg there is truth on the internetz?</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">yes!</saying>
<saying who="Simplicity">WinstonSmith: Everything you read on the Internet is true!</saying>
<me_is who="WinstonSmith">double-facepalms</me_is>
<saying who="WinstonSmith">i knew all that stuff about the lizard people could&#39;nt be a lie</saying>
<me_is who="WinstonSmith">notches the paranoia up</me_is>
<saying who="Simplicity">WinstonSmith: The only &quot;lizard people&quot; I have ever heard about is the Illuminati.</saying>
<saying who="WinstonSmith">Simplicity, well Cheney was on of them ;-)</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Nobody heard of Perlian cats</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-paid-version-of-cpan">
        <meta>
            <title>Paid version of CPAN</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="elb0w`">Let’s start a paid version of cpan</saying>
<saying who="elb0w`">same exact modules</saying>
<saying who="elb0w`">but charge for them</saying>
<saying who="elb0w`">add Pro:: namespace</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">no, Enterprise::</saying>
<saying who="elb0w`">haha yes</saying>
<saying who="jdv79">the longer the better</saying>
<saying who="mauke">402 Payment required</saying>
<saying who="elb0w`">more offical</saying>
<saying who="winmutt">Drmauke</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">That site just sets off alarm bells here.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">CPAY</saying>
<saying who="winmutt">the fact that any code is obfuscated greately bring into question the quality of it</saying>
<saying who="winmutt">base64 or otherwise</saying>
<saying who="elb0w`">the funny thing is that if this was real I bet some firms would use it</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>There's no such thing as a free download.</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-whitespace-in-python">
        <meta>
            <title>Whitespace in Python</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="sizz">whitespace in python is not a problem, just lay out all the whitespace first, then add the code around it</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Whitespace in Python</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="interesting-vs-successful">
        <meta>
            <title>Interesting vs. Successful</title>
        </meta>
        <quote>
            <body>
                <p>There's a negative correlation between “interesting”
                and “successful”.</p>
            </body>
            <info>
                <author>Anno on Freenode's #perl</author>
            </info>
        </quote>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perlcafe-sweat">
        <meta>
            <title>Sweat</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="cl0ud">glorious meeting this morning</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">cl0ud: hi.</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">cl0ud </me_is>
<me_is who="cl0ud">rindolf </me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">cl0ud: sup?</saying>
<saying who="cl0ud">chillin</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">cl0ud: yes, it is chilly here.</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">moves his services to the cl0ud </me_is>
<saying who="cl0ud">we live in a cloud world</saying>
<saying who="railbait_lite">So, loudbot has 10k tweets</saying>
<saying who="railbait_lite">Pratty sweat</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">railbait_lite: sweet?</saying>
<saying who="railbait_lite">Yeah</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Gotta make you sweat.</saying>
<saying who="railbait_lite">haha</saying>
<saying who="railbait_lite">Yeah meant to make it sound weird</saying>
<saying who="railbait_lite">Thus the &quot;pretty&quot; misspelling as well</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Sweat Beat.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Like Lemon Demon.</saying>
<saying who="railbait_lite">haha</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">loudbot: TWITTER ALL THE WAY UP!</saying>
<saying who="loudbot">rindolf: GOOGLE BROKE YOUTUBE, EVERYONE REJOICE</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perlcafe</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Sweat</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-cats-round-numbers">
        <meta>
            <title>Round Numbers</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="hemanth">meow!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">hemanth: meow.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">hemanth: still no IRC at work?</saying>
<saying who="hemanth">nope :/</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">hemanth: did you talk with the sys-admins?</saying>
<saying who="hemanth">rindolf: it seems more like freenode  have blocked the IP</saying>
<saying who="hemanth">hang on</saying>
<saying who="hemanth">&quot;You are banned from this server- Temporary K-line 6000 min. - Please do not harass users on freenode. If in error, please contact mailto:kline@freenode.net. Thanks! (2011/11/1 06.24)&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">hemanth: ah.</saying>
<saying who="simcop2387">hemanth: what did you do?</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">6000 minutes. 100 hours.</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">4 days 4 hours. A weird number</saying>
<saying who="simcop2387">farnsworth: 6000 minutes -&gt; days</saying>
<saying who="farnsworth">simcop2387:  (25/6 /* apx (4.16666666666666) */)</saying>
<saying who="hemanth">heh heh</saying>
<saying who="simcop2387">LeoNerd: i think it was entirely because 100 hours is a &quot;round number&quot;</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">0, 6, 8, 9 are round numbers</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">The rest are a bit pointy</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">maybe sometimes a 3 depending on font</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">but it still has a pointy bit</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Altreus: heh.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Altreus: actually, they are round digits.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">bah, you win</saying>
<saying who="simcop2387">1 isn&#39;t round</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl-cats</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Round Numbers</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-negative-lookbehinds">
        <meta>
            <title>Negative Lookbehinds</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="GordonFreeman">hi</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Hi GordonFreeman </saying>
<saying who="GordonFreeman">grep -Po &#39;(?&lt;=&lt;a )(?&lt;! href=)(?&lt;= href=[&quot;]*)[^&quot;&gt;]+&#39; &lt;&lt;&lt; &#39;&lt;a gfasg href=asdf&gt;&#39;</saying>
<saying who="GordonFreeman">grep: lookbehind assertion is not fixed length</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">GordonFreeman: grep is PCRE - it&#39;s not Perl.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">perlbot: pcre</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">GordonFreeman: don&#39;t use regex for HTML</saying>
<saying who="perlbot">rindolf: PCRE is not Perl.  It lacks several features of Perl regexes.  Don&#39;t bother asking for help with a PCRE pattern in a Perl channel as the answers will not be relevant.  Try #regex, or the channel for your language.  See also http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PCRE#Differences_from_Perl and LPBD.</saying>
<saying who="GordonFreeman">but this should work i think.</saying>
<saying who="mauke">no, it shouldn&#39;t</saying>
<saying who="GordonFreeman">though it fails at the second lookbehind ...</saying>
<saying who="mauke">no, it doesn&#39;t</saying>
<saying who="GordonFreeman">and fails at &quot;* too</saying>
<saying who="GordonFreeman">(grep -Po &#39;&lt;a +.* +href=&quot;*[^&quot; &gt;]+&#39; | grep -Po &#39;(?=&lt;a ).*&#39; | grep -Po &#39;(?&lt;= href=)[&quot;]*[^&quot; &gt;]+&#39;) &lt;&lt;&lt; &#39;&lt;a gfasg href=asdf&gt;&lt;a fgfgg=&quot;hi&gt; &quot; href=&quot;link&quot; &gt;&#39;</saying>
<saying who="GordonFreeman">this works.</saying>
<saying who="mauke">GordonFreeman: dude.</saying>
<saying who="anno">don&#39;t paste!</saying>
<saying who="GordonFreeman">hi mauke</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">where&#39;s mauke&#39;s car?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">apeiron: :-)</saying>
<saying who="mauke">it&#39;s a cdr</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">I watched that the other day</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pkrumins: what&#39;s up?</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">I don&#39;t really know why</saying>
<saying who="mauke">GordonFreeman: go to a channel where that is on-topic</saying>
<saying who="GordonFreeman">mauke&lt;&lt; like?</saying>
<saying who="mauke">no idea</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">where on earth is parsing HTML with regexes on topic?</saying>
<saying who="GordonFreeman">aham ok</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">except ##php lolol</saying>
<saying who="GordonFreeman">well i think one can see its logical and it works like this</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">GordonFreeman: http://stackoverflow.com/questions/1732348/regex-match-open-tags-except-xhtml-self-contained-tags/1732454#1732454</saying>
<saying who="shorten">rindolf&#39;s url is at http://xrl.us/bf4jh6</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">GordonFreeman, also, -P isn&#39;t perl.</saying>
<saying who="thrig">Altreus: some special level of hell, between the angry ghosts and the hungry ghosts</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">perlbot: html</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">the grep docs lie to you.</saying>
<saying who="perlbot">rindolf: Don&#39;t parse or modify html with regular expressions! See one of HTML::Parser&#39;s subclasses: HTML::TokeParser, HTML::TokeParser::Simple, HTML::TreeBuilder(::Xpath)?, HTML::TableExtract etc. If your response begins &quot;that&#39;s overkill. i only want to...&quot; you are wrong. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chomsky_hierarchy and http://xrl.us/bf4jh6 for why not to use regex on HTML</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Altreus: Why, surely in #html-parsing-by-regexp</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">if you want perl regex use ack</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">surely</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">LeoNerd: sounds like programmers&#39; hell.</saying>
<saying who="anno">perl regex doesn&#39;t support variable-length lookbehind either</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">apeiron: actually it says it&#39;s highly experimental and hence not working</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">it could well be Perl and not PCRE when finished :)</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">not that &quot;perl regex&quot; is a defined term, the speed Perl is moving</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">That&#39;s why you should never use Perl&#39;s builtin regexes.  Just write your own package, it&#39;s sure to be more reliable.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">yrlnry: :-)</saying>
<saying who="talexb">Heh.</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">use re::engine::vim;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">yrlnry++</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">LeoNerd: is it core?</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">HOP has a nice implementation.  It works by generating a list of every string matched by the regex, and looking to see if your target string is in the list.</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">I can&#39;t help thinking that may not be optimal in terms of CPU or memory usage</saying>
<saying who="talexb">yrlnry, no doubt they have a Cray working on generating the list ..</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">LeoNerd:  Depends; unlike Perl regexes, it has no trouble handling languages higher up the Chomsky hierarchy</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">It is guaranteed to return the right answer for any recursive language, and guaranteed to return correct &#39;matched&#39; answers for any recursively enumerable language.</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Ohsure...</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">In terms of CS guarantees it&#39;s very nice</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">So if you are in a big hurry to get the wrong answer...</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">But I live in the practical pragmatic world</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">E.g. Parser::MGC is horribly slow at backtracking and whatnot, but I write parsers in it because those are still fast for &quot;reasonably&quot; sized inputs, parsers are fast to write, and I like having lots of side-effects and dynamic logic -in- Perl</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">Unfortunately my universe doesn&#39;t have infinite processing speeds and data storage</saying>
<saying who="anno">a universe with infinite processing speed would have processed you by now</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">and</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">would have processed my grandchildren too</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">This algorithm doesn&#39; t need infinite speed or storage.</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">It works slowly, but finitely.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">what</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">The infinite list is lazily generated and you never have more than one of its elements in memory at any time.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">yrlnry: is it sorted by length?</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">You will learn this sort of technique after you have been programming in Perl for eight months or so.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">how do you know when it doesn&#39;t match</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">yrlnry: :D</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">rindolf:  it is sorted by length, and lexicographically among strings of the same length.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">yrlnry: ah.</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">Of course, you cannot do the length-sorting thing for arbitrary languages, but for regex languages there is no trouble.</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">http://hop.perl.plover.com/book/pdf/06InfiniteStreams.pdf</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Eh..</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">I dunno. I just dislike purely RE-based parsing</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">I much prefer code doing it</saying>
<saying who="GordonFreeman">why can&#39;t perl regexp do variable length lookbehind matching?</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">See originally I ignored you because it sounded like you were talking shit</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Limit of the implementation</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">mainly because it is possible to construct a regex with an infinite range that nevertheless won&#39;t match a particular string</saying>
<saying who="anno">GordonFreeman: who knows? looks like it&#39;s hard to implement with the given engine</saying>
<saying who="mauke">GordonFreeman: unclear semantics and no one&#39;s bothered to write the code</saying>
<saying who="GordonFreeman">i see</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">Plus, there&#39;s a fucking lot of unicode to create strings out of</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">It&#39;s not &quot;hard&quot; to implement. It&#39;s impossible given the algorithm being used</saying>
<saying who="mauke">LeoNerd: why impossible?</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">LeoNerd:  I don&#39;t think that&#39;s true.  It could be done using a recursive call to the regex engine now that that is possible.</saying>
<saying who="GordonFreeman">but lookbehind is cool</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Oooh.. yes.. I suppose it could do that now</saying>
<saying who="GordonFreeman">its like a reverse regexp that can be excluded</saying>
<saying who="anno">vim re&#39;s do it</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">vim uses a different type of engine</saying>
<saying who="anno">right</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">Altreus:  I was talking shit.  After eight months you get a license to do that.</saying>
<saying who="mauke">really?</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">yrlnry: but there&#39;s a pdf</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">where&#39;s a PDF?</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">17:10 &lt; yrlnry&gt; http://hop.perl.plover.com/book/pdf/06InfiniteStreams.pdf</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">Yes.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">I didn&#39;t open it or anything</saying>
<saying who="mauke">no one opens pdfs</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">PDFs are for cowards and Slavs.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">but it lent enough credence to your words that I decided to believe your spurious claims</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">Actually someone did a test the other day</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">Oh, does &quot;talking shit&quot; mean &quot;making up nonsense&quot;?  Then I was not talking shit.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">He linked someone to articles supporting his viewpoint and they changed their mind</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">It is in section 6.5, &quot;regex string generation&quot;.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">but one of the articles was an argument against himself</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">Showing that it is enough to cite your sources to be believed; not many people will actually bother to check them</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">yrlnry: what do you normally think &quot;talking shit&quot; means?</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">are you confusing it with shooting the shit</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">I&#39;m not sure.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">are you foreign</saying>
<saying who="yrlnry">Yes.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">ok then</saying>
<saying who="mauke">hahaha</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Negative Lookbehind Regexes for matching HTML</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-foreign-birds">
        <meta>
            <title>Foreign Birds</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="mocramis">though i installed IPC::RUN, i still  get the Can&#39;t locate from perl</saying>
<saying who="Botje">it&#39;s called IPC::Run, not IPC::RUN</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mocramis: perl is case-sensitive.</saying>
<saying who="mocramis">arf &gt;&lt;</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">meow</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">*chirp*</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">tschilp in german, btw.</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">Could be handy when talking with foreign birds :)</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">DrForr: absolutely. also: a german dog barks &quot;wau&quot; and a cat meows &quot;miau&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Su-Shee: German animals are true German patriots.</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">No relation to Miaowara Tomokato, I take it.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">DrForr: no, although germany and japan of course had some relations ;)</saying>
<saying who="Botje">Su-Shee: oh. that explains &#39;dr waumiau&#39;</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">foreign birds speak the same as local birds</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">Botje: what&#39;s that? ;)</saying>
<saying who="Botje">Su-Shee: german mash-up artist</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">Botje: now you know what his names means.</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">Altreus: Mine didn&#39;t :)</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">speaking a foreign language is culturally insensitive</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">(she grew up speaking English and Japanese - Her new host family is coping well, all things considered)</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">DrForr: now I&#39;m confused.. she -&gt; bird, dog, ex-girlfriend, daughter?</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">Bird with a multilingual daddy.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">see I was disallowing DrForr the use of &#39;bird&#39; as &#39;girl&#39;</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">for comic effect</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>What do foreign birds speak?</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-brogramming">
        <meta>
            <title>Brogramming</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="jozefk">anybody with suggestion how can I clean up the code in the way as this tool is doing it temporarily in browser? http://www.howtogeek.com/howto/7188/clean-up-webpages-for-note-taking-or-printing-the-easy-way/</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jozefk: you can define a print stylesheet.</saying>
<saying who="jozefk">I want to clean the page from everything. not only to see it like that on screen but to really modify the code</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jozefk: well, you can read what the bookmarklet is doing and emulate it.</saying>
<saying who="jozefk">I see the javascript code from bookmarklet but I think I can&#39;t modify real files on hard disk with javacript codes</saying>
<saying who="jozefk">and the code is more than 300 lines :)</saying>
<saying who="tm604">sure you can, js runs serverside happily enough, but it&#39;d be just as easy to convert the JS logic to perl.</saying>
<saying who="jozefk">that sounds like programing. I thought there is some tool like that bookmarklet which I can use to modify files on HDD</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">tm604: except the JS runs on a DOM in a browser, with a browser context</saying>
<saying who="tm604">yes, it does sound a bit like programming, doesn&#39;t it? good thing this is a programming channel, so it&#39;s hopefully still on-topic.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">I don&#39;t think there&#39;s a node module that will load an HTML file and create a browser context in which to then run JS on that HTML&#39;s DOM and output the result</saying>
<saying who="jozefk">:)</saying>
<saying who="jozefk">DOM is not so important here I think. because JS is removing everything from code and just applying another CSS</saying>
<saying who="jozefk">so the page looks different</saying>
<saying who="tm604">huh, thought there was. the script itself should be trivial to convert to perl either way.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">probably a better idea :)</saying>
<saying who="jozefk">yeah, better. one day when I become a programmer :) I will do it.</saying>
<saying who="pkrumins">I want to become a brogrammer</saying>
<saying who="jozefk">why?</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">taking pictures of bros</saying>
<saying who="pkrumins">So I can do some awesome brogramming, jozefk!</saying>
<saying who="jozefk">:))</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pkrumins: yo bro! I hurd you like brogramming so we put your bro in your brogram so you can brogram while you bro!</saying>
<saying who="nate_h">rofl</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">nate_h: :-)</saying>
<saying who="nate_h">should it be brozefk ?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">rinbrolf</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pk-bro-mins</saying>
<saying who="pkrumins">rindolf: i put a browser in your browser</saying>
<saying who="pkrumins">rindolf: so you can browse while yo browse</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pkrumins: bro, a browser is so 90s.</saying>
<saying who="fizztpok">broser?</saying>
<saying who="PerlJam">bowser</saying>
<saying who="nate_h">mushroom?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pkrumins: KDE-4.8.x-beta-something is coming to Mageia Linux 2/Cauldron. \o/</saying>
<saying who="fizztpok">I search on duckduckbro!</saying>
<saying who="nate_h">co-co-coommmboo breaker</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pkrumins: I&#39;ll see how much it fixes and how much it breaks.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pkrumins: and fix what it breaks and break what it fixes.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">To preserve the balance in the force.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>I want to become a brogrammer.</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-count-von-counter">
        <meta>
            <title>Count von Counter</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="ncow">rindolf: is not   { my $c=0; sub getNext { $c++ } }   a perfectly good way to do a closure on a variable (that should not be seen by anything other than that sub, sort of like that PHP example with the &quot;static&quot; var &lt;http://www.phpsadness.com/sad/18&gt; and I think similar to static vars in C++ and Java) ?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ncow: yes, it is.</saying>
<saying who="uri">ncow: you can use state vars in recent perls too</saying>
<saying who="ncow">but I keep thinking there was a way of doing it with outer and inner subs too, or no</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ncow: thing is in sub outer { my $c = 0 ; .... } the $c is temporary.</saying>
<saying who="ncow">uri: yeah I just saw that in perlfaq7 just before you said that, thanks though :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ncow: which causes weird side-effects with a package-scope inner sub.</saying>
<saying who="ncow">rindolf: but shouldn&#39;t the inner sub have a closure over $c though?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ncow: it will.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ncow: but every time you call outer() you get a different $c.</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">Windows also accepts a sledgehammer to the harddrive.</saying>
<saying who="ncow">rindolf: I&#39;m talking about calling the inner one</saying>
<saying who="ncow">rindolf: could be interesting to call the outter one to re-prime or something (just kind of thinking aloud, I could be completely wrong)</saying>
<saying who="ncow">(please let me know if I am)</saying>
<saying who="cj">Botje: that&#39;s not the point.  Some systems don&#39;t :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">apeiron: Windows requiring doing a SOAP request to a .NET service (that is very picky about its scope) to call an OLE component for writing an Excel macro to do that.</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">And for those we have File::Spec.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">apeiron: it&#39;s not as straightforward as in UNIX.</saying>
<saying who="ncow">I think I found a mis-type in perlfaq7 &lt;http://perldoc.perl.org/perlfaq7.html#How-do-I-create-a-static-variable%3f&gt;, under &quot;How do I create a static variable?&quot;</saying>
<saying who="ncow">It says: sub counter { state $count = 1; $counter++ }</saying>
<saying who="ncow">I think that should be $count++ not $counter++</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">apeiron: http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/fortunes/show.cgi?id=joel-forum-unix-shooting-in-the-foot</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ncow: yes, it should.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ncow: or &quot;$state $counter = 1;&quot;.</saying>
<saying who="ncow">rindolf: oh shit, that is so true. I hate ActiveX like the mf-ing plauge</saying>
<saying who="ncow">rindolf: yes, though counter is the sub&#39;s name, I think the var was meant to be called $count</saying>
<saying who="ncow">as in the count that the counter counts :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ncow++</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ncow: it still exists in my github fork of the perl-doc-cats repo.</saying>
<saying who="ncow">a counter doesn&#39;t counter counters unless it is in fact a counter counter :)</saying>
<saying who="uri">ncow: go back to sesame street!</saying>
<saying who="ncow">lol</saying>
<saying who="uri">it seems to be where you learned your perl!</saying>
<saying who="uri">use Big::Bird;</saying>
<saying who="ncow">but does a counter counter count it self as a counter counter?</saying>
<saying who="uri">that is counterproductive thinking</saying>
<saying who="ncow">(or does it just consider itself a cunt and thus only count it self as a cunt counter since it only counts cunts?)</saying>
<saying who="ncow">ok I think I&#39;m done with that one...</saying>
<saying who="ncow">sorry, when ever someone mentions ActiveX it makes me all twichy, and if there is no one around to choke into submition, I tend to write odd things, like a ram memory discharge</saying>
<saying who="Khisanth">a CounterCounterFactoryCounter</saying>
<saying who="szr">ActiveX will do that</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ncow: heh.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ncow++</saying>
<saying who="ncow">ooooh now we&#39;re talking</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ncow: anyway, how do you want to be credited  in the commit log?</saying>
<saying who="uri">rindolf: call him the miscount</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">uri: heh.</saying>
<saying who="ncow">you don&#39;t have to do that, but if you really want to, ncow is fine. Necrocow may be me old moniker (and freenode account name) but ncow is what I&#39;ve been going by for quite a while now</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">uri: Count von Counter</saying>
<saying who="ncow">so I&#39;m the count of miscountistu?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ncow: pushed.</saying>
<saying who="ncow">cool</saying>
<saying who="ncow">glad I could help.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ncow: you&#39;re welcome.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">“One Perl One-Liner, Two Perl One-Liners, Three Perl One-Liners. &lt;Thunder and Lightning&gt; Ha ha ha ha ha ha.”</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">-- Count von Counter</saying>
<saying who="ncow">rindolf: haha</saying>
<saying who="ncow">rindolf: god I still remember that from when I was a kid watching PBS</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ncow: I remember it from the Israeli Sesame Street.</saying>
<saying who="ncow">Israeli? didn&#39;t know they had their own version</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ncow: they call him there &quot;Mar Soffer.&quot; - &quot;Mr. Counting&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ncow: we actually had two at two different times.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>How many counts will a counter count if a counter could count counts?</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-using-your-experience-points">
        <meta>
            <title>Using your Experience Points</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="federated_life">holy fucking shnikes mst was right</saying>
<saying who="mst">federated_life: you&#39;ll find that happens a lot.</saying>
<saying who="mst">federated_life: every time I level, I put all my XP (= experience points) into &quot;being right&quot; rather than boring things like &quot;tact&quot; ;)</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">mst: Not ranged weapons?</saying>
<saying who="komodo">haha</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Gain enough XP and you actually -can- stab people over the Internet</saying>
<saying who="komodo">sweet</saying>
<saying who="komodo">I wouldn&#39;t recommend stabbing PHP people though, I hear they bleed acid</saying>
<saying who="anno">bring a blotter</saying>
<saying who="komodo">gotta take &#39;em out from a distance</saying>
<saying who="komodo">ah</saying>
<saying who="Khisanth">LeoNerd: do nukes count as ranged weapons? :)</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">I don&#39;t see why not</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">If it&#39;s ballistically launched</saying>
<saying who="Khisanth">well it&#39;s a bit more ... hmm how should I put it</saying>
<saying who="tm604">I&#39;d stand well clear of anyone classing a nuke as a melee weapon.</saying>
<saying who="mst">LeoNerd: &quot;no, gunner, your target is &lt;here&gt;&quot; / &quot;oh, of course it is&quot; *BLAM*</saying>
<saying who="mst">LeoNerd: aka, being right allows you to -control- ranged weapons :)</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Using Your Experience Points</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-hurting-people">
        <meta>
            <title>Hurting People</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="buu">PKRUMINS</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pKrumins</saying>
<saying who="pkrumins">BYY</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pkrumins: BUU</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pkrumins: buu is back.</saying>
<saying who="pkrumins">rindolf: i know</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pkrumins: he said he was close to disappearing.</saying>
<saying who="pkrumins">WHAT</saying>
<saying who="pkrumins">buu, is that true</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pkrumins: he was sick.</saying>
<saying who="pkrumins">HE WASNT</saying>
<saying who="buu">=[</saying>
<saying who="buu">I was</saying>
<saying who="pkrumins">HOW</saying>
<saying who="buu">Genetic defects!</saying>
<saying who="pkrumins">OH NO</saying>
<saying who="pkrumins">OH NO NO NO</saying>
<saying who="mauke">substance abuuse</saying>
<saying who="buu">Owch</saying>
<saying who="buu">That joke almost qualifies as abuse</saying>
<saying who="mauke">now that I&#39;ve hurt mst and buu, my work for today is done</saying>
<saying who="pkrumins">you still havent hurt me</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mauke: hold on! You haven&#39;t hurt me yet.</saying>
<saying who="buu">haha</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">is hurt that mauke didn&#39;t hurt him.</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">Oh wait.</saying>
<saying who="mauke">just as keikaku.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mauke: OK, now your work for today is done.</saying>
<saying who="pkrumins">NO</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Are you being hurt?</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-shouting-su-shee">
        <meta>
            <title>The Shouting Su-Shee</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="rindolf">pkrumins: have you seen http://weblibs.herokuapp.com/ ?</saying>
<saying who="pkrumins">i haven&#39;t</saying>
<saying who="pkrumins">looking at it now</saying>
<saying who="pkrumins">haha</saying>
<saying who="pkrumins">hipster wannabe-programmer nonsense</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pkrumins: yes.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pkrumins: Su-Shee had told us about it.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pkrumins: a while ago.</saying>
<saying who="pkrumins">where did she disappear btw</saying>
<saying who="pkrumins">oh there she is!</saying>
<saying who="pkrumins">i thought she left</saying>
<saying who="mst">nah, she&#39;s just been quiet recently</saying>
<saying who="pkrumins">right.</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">NO IM NOT. ;)</saying>
<me_is who="mst">confiscates Su-Shee&#39;s megaphone and hugs her</me_is>
<saying who="Su-Shee">I can yell naturally!</saying>
<saying who="mst">then you won&#39;t need this megaphone back, will you? :D</saying>
<saying who="anno">.oO(1000000 phones)</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">*haha* :)</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Alive and yelling</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-natural-stupidity-carbon-based-bot">
        <meta>
            <title>A Natural Stupidity Carbon-based Bot</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="Altreus">I made a new bot running on a carbon-based AI system</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">carbon-based? So it&#39;s written in C for a Mac?</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">no it&#39;s me</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Altreus: you&#39;re a natural stupidity system - not an artificial intelligence one.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Altreus: or maybe natural intelligence.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">well you&#39;re a poo poo head</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">:)</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">perlbot, altreus is also six years old</saying>
<saying who="perlbot">apeiron: Stored altreus is a small cat (see: http://avatars.plurk.com/3405142-big.jpg) | six years old</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">That&#39;s generous</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Altreus: calling someone a &quot;poo poo head&quot; proves that this person has natural stupidity.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">rindolf: But the natural stupidity was postulated before the use of the phrase; hence you can&#39;t discount the fact that using the phrase was in response to, rather than proof of, the assertion.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Altreus: yes, but it still proved it after the fact.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Altreus: Q.E.D.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">rindolf: Except it is possible for an intelligent system to act stupid</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">hence it is not, in fact, proof.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Altreus: that&#39;s right - it has the right to in fact.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">Indeed. So given that it has the ability, the right, and the motivation to do so, it is reasonable to assume that in fact that is what happened</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Altreus: OK.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">You would have to gather further data on the system to determine it.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Altreus: in that case, calling someone a &quot;poo poo head&quot; has the property of having natural stupidity.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Or acting under the influence of natural stupidity.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Possibly artificial natural stupidity.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">rindolf: artificial natural stupidity ._.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">I think your sentence is at odds with itself</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">Well, your fragment</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Altreus: it&#39;s an oxymoron.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">correct</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Oxymorons are indicative of natural stupidity.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">I gave the artificial impression of natural stupidity!</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">Stupid phrases are an indication of a) stupidity or b) intelligence</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Hence stupid phrases are not indicative.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">Quite so</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Only intelligent phrases can be indicative of something.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">Stupidity is an absence, and you cannot prove an absence without first proving an exhaustive set.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Wise men know they are stupid.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">:)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Whereas foolish people think they are not.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">The earliest Greek philosophers tried to philosophise in verse.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Which didn&#39;t work too well.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">Maybe they should have chosen a different meter</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Detecting natural stupidity</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-negative-numbers">
        <meta>
            <title>Negative Numbers</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="tziOm">what is the most efficient way to do: floor($foo/600)*600</saying>
<saying who="ChibaPet">um</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">floor $foo</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">:P</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">Premature microoptimization detected at line 0.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">I think that /is/ the most efficient way to do it</saying>
<saying who="ChibaPet">what about int $foo?</saying>
<saying who="ChibaPet">or is floor more efficient?</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">I think this is rounding to the nearest 600</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">er, the lowest 600</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">int truncates towards 0</saying>
<saying who="ChibaPet">doesn&#39;t floor do that as well?</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">You&#39;re looking at microoptimization in *math*. Surely there are bigger fish to fry?</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">ChibaPet: consider negatives</saying>
<saying who="ChibaPet">Oh! Negatives. Slipped right by me. Thanks.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">the difference in most operations is evident in negatives, except the various rounding techniques</saying>
<saying who="fizzie">Negative numbers, brr, they&#39;re just not natural.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">:)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">fizzie: :-)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">fizzie: but they are real.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">fizzie: and they aren&#39;t imaginary or complex.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">they&#39;re not /that/ real</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">fizzie: though they can be irrational.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Heh.</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">-5 ∈ ℝ</saying>
<saying who="antox">I think tziOm wanted to round down to 10 minutes. Maybe s/.:..$/0:00/ is an option? :D</saying>
<me_is who="Altreus">smacks antox with a bin</me_is>
<me_is who="rindolf">smacks antox with a larger bin.</me_is>
<saying who="Altreus">this one http://www.suasnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/dusty1.gif</saying>
<me_is who="ChibaPet">hands antox a fish.</me_is>
<saying who="shorten">Altreus&#39;s url is at http://xrl.us/bmpbt6</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">My bin is bigger than Altreus&#39;.</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">Rainbow trout all &#39;round!</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">was that a pun</saying>
<saying who="antox">Anyway guys, I haven&#39;t got if I should be proud of getting smacked by a bin.</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">no</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">it&#39;s pain-based learning</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">antox: you were smacked by two bins - one smaller, one larger.</saying>
<saying who="Cipher-0">You made a mistake???!one!!! Clean out your desk at once!!!!!!eleven!!!!!</saying>
<saying who="antox">And no supper today!</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Don't be so negative.</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-laziness">
        <meta>
            <title>Laziness</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>

<saying who="shadowpaste">&quot;thrig&quot; at 72.14.189.113 pasted &quot;countcounterdecountersville for morissette&quot; (22 lines) at http://scsys.co.uk:8002/176933</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">thrig: why are you using qx... in void-context? You should use system.</saying>
<saying who="thrig">because it&#39;s a quick example and I&#39;m lazy</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">thrig: laziness!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">thrig: laziness will be the fall of mankind but I cannot be arsed to do anything about it.</saying>
<saying who="mst">I tried, but last week&#39;s meeting of the apathy society was cancelled due to lack of interest</saying>
<saying who="thrig">~~ Mr. Wiggles-san!</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">apathy society? couldn&#39;t care less myself.</saying>
<saying who="thrig">the Something or the Other re. Pirates Act</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">&quot;What do you think are the major causes of ignorance and apathy in today&#39;s voting public?&quot; &quot;Hrm.. don&#39;t know. Don&#39;t care, really..&quot;</saying>
<saying who="Invis">:D</saying>
<saying who="thrig">back in the day, one would get smited for lazing the day away watching Aramaic Idol</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">thrig: when I was younger, I watched Sumerian Idol.</saying>
<saying who="thrig">it&#39;s in estivation now, I hear</saying>
<saying who="cfedde">rindolf: gilgamesh was such a bastard on that show.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>I don't care about my apathy</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-math-complex">
        <meta>
            <title>Complex Math</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="Teratogen">eval: 1+1</saying>
<saying who="perlbot">Teratogen: 2</saying>
<saying who="Teratogen">it works!</saying>
<saying who="Teratogen">eval: e**(pi*i)</saying>
<saying who="perlbot">Teratogen: 1</saying>
<saying who="Teratogen">oh dear =(</saying>
<saying who="vreg">eval: 1/0</saying>
<saying who="perlbot">vreg: ERROR: Illegal division by zero at (eval 1702) line 1.</saying>
<saying who="Teratogen">eval: sqrt(-1)</saying>
<saying who="perlbot">Teratogen: ERROR: Can&#39;t take sqrt of -1 at (eval 1702) line 1.</saying>
<saying who="Teratogen">what the</saying>
<saying who="tm604">http://search.cpan.org/perldoc?Math::Complex</saying>
<saying who="vreg">eval: use Math::Complex; sqrt(-1)</saying>
<saying who="perlbot">vreg: ERROR: Can&#39;t locate Math/Complex.pm in @INC (@INC contains:) at (eval 1702) line 1. BEGIN failed--compilation aborted at (eval 1702) line 1.</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Math::Complex? Why not Math::Simple?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">LeoNerd: heh.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Simple Numbers.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Math::Tiny</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Math::Tiny::ButMaintained</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Hehe.. Math::Tiny. Only copes with the range [0,1)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">LeoNerd: sounds more like fuzzy logic.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">LeoNerd: this [0,1) thing reminds me of this joke of mine - http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/fortunes/show.cgi?id=jewish-deduction</saying>
<saying who="LeoNerd">Hehe</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Math::Jewish.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Making Complex Math Simple</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-jumping-off-a-bridge">
        <meta>
            <title>Jumping Off a Bridge</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="PerlJam">m4rcu5: you need a newer perl to use the /r modifier to tr///</saying>
<saying who="mauke">also, why are you reading 5.14&#39;s perlop?</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">&quot;because that&#39;s what I found online&quot;</saying>
<saying who="m4rcu5">mauke: too old? i tought that de default install of gentoo came shiped with a bit more up2date version of perl :P</saying>
<saying who="apeiron">snrk</saying>
<saying who="m4rcu5">mauke: because thats what perldoc.perl.org served me ;-)</saying>
<saying who="mauke">and why are you going to perldoc.perl.org?</saying>
<saying who="alnewkirk">if perldoc told you to jump off of a bridge, would you?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">alnewkirk: if Chuck Norris told me to do that, I would.</saying>
<saying who="PerlJam">rindolf: Chuck Norris wouldn&#39;t tell you … he&#39;d just round-house kick you off of the bridge.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">PerlJam: heh.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">PerlJam: what if he&#39;s nowhere near the bridge? </saying>
<saying who="alnewkirk">rindolf: chuck norris is everywhere yet nowhere in particular</saying>
<saying who="alnewkirk">… like the wind</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>I’ll jump off the bridge when I get there.</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-deprecation">
        <meta>
            <title>Deprecation</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
                <saying who="Su-Shee">SO I TURNED TO YOU FOR HELP IN TIMES OF DESPERATION…</saying>
                <saying who="Botje">desperation is for wimps</saying>
                <saying who="anno">prosperation?</saying>
                <saying who="Altreus">deprecation is an outdated concept and we prefer not to do it</saying>
                <saying who="Su-Shee">let’s deprecate deprecation.</saying>
                <saying who="alpha--">agreed.</saying>
                <saying who="alpha--">oh wait.</saying>
                <saying who="Su-Shee">that would be a deprecation</saying>
                <saying who="rindolf">Who will watch the watcher?</saying>
                <saying who="rindolf">Who will deprecate deprecation?</saying>
                <saying who="Su-Shee">shouldn’t someone deprecate the deprecator in that case?</saying>
                <me_is who="rindolf">deprecates the deprecator who is deprecating deprecation.</me_is>
                <saying who="Altreus">that's OK, it's not deprecated yet</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>To deprecate deprecation, we first need to stop deprecating.</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-the-many-friends-of-ampersand">
        <meta>
            <title>Ampersand’s Many Friends</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
                <saying who="el_seano">is there ever a good reason to omit ampersands from subroutine invocations?</saying>
                <me_is who="el_seano">&lt;- noob</me_is>
                <saying who="mauke">wrong question</saying>
                <saying who="archon-">always</saying>
                <saying who="mauke">is there ever a good reason to add ampersands to subroutine calls?</saying>
                <saying who="archon-">almost never</saying>
                <saying who="el_seano">it seems like a nice touch to include the sigil so there&#39;s no ambiguity</saying>
                <saying who="rindolf">el_seano: http://perl-begin.org/tutorials/bad-elements/#ampersand-in-subroutine-calls</saying>
                <saying who="Yaakov">Ampersands are among the coolest punctuation marks &amp; add their coolness to everything they are used for.</saying>
                <saying who="mauke">el_seano: what ambiguity?</saying>
                <saying who="apeiron">foo() # pretty umambiguous</saying>
                <saying who="archon-">&amp;Yaakov&amp;</saying>
                <me_is who="rindolf">prefers ampersors.</me_is>
                <saying who="rindolf">Or ampernots.</saying>
                <saying who="Yaakov">AmperSnot</saying>
                <saying who="archon-">amberbuts</saying>
                <saying who="archon-">amber?</saying>
                <saying who="archon-">amperbuts!</saying>
                <saying who="el_seano">:D</saying>
                <saying who="Yaakov">ampersif</saying>
                <saying who="tybalt89">ampersand followed by amperbuff and amperpolish...</saying>
                <saying who="Yaakov">amperbeadblast</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>If you like ampersands, you’ll also love…</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-chuck-norris">
        <meta>
            <title>Chuck Norris and Perl</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
                <saying who="RiXtEr-Work">thanks perl people! Sorry I am a newbie!</saying>
                <saying who="apeiron">Don&#39;t apologize for being a newbie</saying>
                <saying who="DrForr">RiXtEr-Work: We all were at one time. Well, except maybe Larry.</saying>
                <saying who="apeiron">Apologize for being stupid and then fix it</saying>
                <saying who="RiXtEr-Work">drforr, I wrote a bunch of perl back in about 2003-2005 era, but if you don&#39;t use it you lose it I guess..</saying>
                <saying who="rindolf">DrForr: Chuck Norris was never a newbie!</saying>
                <saying who="rindolf">Chuck Norris will kill anyone who implies otherwise.</saying>
                <saying who="RiXtEr-Work">rindolf, chuck norris is the perl interpereter...</saying>
                <saying who="rindolf">RiXtEr-Work: heh.</saying>
                <saying who="rindolf">Only perl and Chuck Norris can parse Perl.</saying>
                <saying who="RiXtEr-Work">haha</saying>
                <saying who="DrForr">Naw, all Chuck Norris has to do is *look* at perl and it interprets itself out of fear and respect.</saying>
                <saying who="RiXtEr-Work">Chuck Norris doesn&#39;t need to program, his computer does what he says when he says it.</saying>
                <saying who="rindolf">Chuck Norris taught God how to create the universe.</saying>
                <saying who="DrForr">Insert Higgs joke here.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>I was a newbie once. Chuck Norris wasn’t.</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-talexb-about-a-flat-tire">
        <meta>
            <title>talexb about having a flat tire</title>
        </meta>
        <quote>
            <body>
                <p>
                    <b>talexb</b>: “Hey, I have a flat tire. Can you help me
                    change it with a can opener and a pound of sesame seeds?”
                </p>
                <p>
                    (In context of parsing XML or HTML with regular expressions.)
                </p>
            </body>
            <info>
                <author>talexb</author>
                <work href="http://perl.net.au/wiki/Perl_Humour">Freenode’s #perl</work>
            </info>
        </quote>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-which-version-of-perl">
        <meta>
            <title>Which version of Perl are we at, today?</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="Botje">crane_work: 5.6 is ancient.</saying>
<saying who="pink_mist">crane_work: use perlbrew</saying>
<saying who="mauke">do you mean 5.6?</saying>
<saying who="Botje">crane_work: even 5.10 is end of line.</saying>
<saying who="mauke">then you need to install 5.6</saying>
<saying who="mauke">also, uninstall 5.6 and 5.10 and install 5.16</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">crane_work: Then install v5.6 with perlbrew. And pad your keyboard for the inevitable &lt;headdesk/&gt;s.</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">And holy god why do you *need* something last bugfixed in the last *century*.</saying>
<saying who="Botje">or, you know, use a version of perl developed *after* 9/11.</saying>
<saying who="lesshaste">mauke: would you be able to share the code with me?</saying>
<saying who="crane_work">lol ^^</saying>
<saying who="mauke">lesshaste: http://paste.scsys.co.uk/204936</saying>
<saying who="lesshaste">thanks!</saying>
<saying who="Botje">if necessary, tell your boss perl 5.16 has been terrorism-proofed.</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">crane_work: Ha ha only *serious*. 5.6 is almost unrecognizable under the cobwebs.</saying>
<saying who="crane_work">i guess this would be a pro argument...</saying>
<saying who="pink_mist">crane_work: as we&#39;ve said a few times: perlbrew</saying>
<saying who="lesshaste">mauke: I get that&#39;s fast!</saying>
<saying who="lesshaste">I bet</saying>
<saying who="mauke">lesshaste: I doubt it</saying>
<saying who="lesshaste">we need someone to work on pyperl :)</saying>
<saying who="mauke">it seeks all over the place</saying>
<saying who="lesshaste">mauke: why?</saying>
<saying who="lesshaste">ah ok</saying>
<saying who="huf">c code with perl reindenting is ... strange</saying>
<saying who="mauke">but that&#39;s why I wanted to test it on a nontrivial data set :-)</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">Why would compiling to a different VM do any good?...</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">Oh, because it&#39;s python, therefore better. Silly me.</saying>
<saying who="huf">it&#39;d force people to understand (and fix) the darkest corners of the perl grammar? *shrug* dunno</saying>
<saying who="mauke">grammar and semantics</saying>
<saying who="huf">that too. the vote on how to interpolate $length[1234] into regexes doesnt make me feel good...</saying>
<saying who="lesshaste">DrForr: it&#39;s not really python</saying>
<saying who="lesshaste">DrForr: In fact, it&#39;s not python :)</saying>
<saying who="lesshaste">DrForr: they just did the same thing for PHP</saying>
<saying who="lesshaste">DrForr: and was some project for prolog etc in the past</saying>
<saying who="crane_work">maybe this question would be stupid but... why if use v5.06 is stupid is it possible to tell perl to use a version?</saying>
<saying who="mauke">crane_work: what?</saying>
<saying who="huf">use v5.6 isnt stupid, it just does something other than what you wanted.</saying>
<saying who="lesshaste">DrForr: the idea is simply that it would be *faster*</saying>
<saying who="crane_work">huf: in which cases will i need it=?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">lesshaste: isn&#39;t pyperl this - http://wiki.python.org/moin/PyPerl ?</saying>
<saying who="mauke">when your code doesn&#39;t run on 5.005 and earlier</saying>
<saying who="huf">crane_work: use VERSION means your script requires at least that version of perl. if an older one tries to load it, it&#39;ll tell you to fuck off and get a newer perl. it will not turn your new perl into an old one however.</saying>
<saying who="lesshaste">rindolf: that has the same name :) I mean using pypy to make a jit for perl as in http://pypy.org/</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">lesshaste: OK, there&#39;s perlito.</saying>
<saying who="mst">crane_work: if you want to check for things</saying>
<saying who="mst">crane_work: Perl::MinimumVersion exists IIRC</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">perlbot: perlito</saying>
<saying who="perlbot">rindolf: No factoid found. Did you mean one of these: [#perl topic] [perl topic] [perl tutorials] [perl5004delta] [perl5005delta] [perl561delta] [perl56delta] [perl570delta] [perl6 Test.pm] [perldata]</saying>
<saying who="lesshaste">rindolf: is that a static compiler or a jit?</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">crane_work: Then start with 5.16 and don&#39;t worry about earlier versions.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">perlbot: perlito is http://perlito.org/ - a Perl 5 / Perl 6 compiler written in Perl 5 / Perl 6.</saying>
<saying who="perlbot">rindolf: Stored perlito is http://perlito.org/ - a Perl 5 / Perl 6 compiler written in Perl 5 / Perl 6.</saying>
<saying who="rmah">people should just call it perl 16</saying>
<saying who="huf">but it isn&#39;t.</saying>
<saying who="mst">I have a tendency to say /usr/bin/perl version 16</saying>
<saying who="mst">since -V says &#39;perl revision 5 version 16&#39;;</saying>
<saying who="mst">so it *is* &quot;version 16&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rmah">they called java 1.4 &quot;java 4&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rmah">it&#39;s just marketing man!</saying>
<saying who="GlitchMr">Perl 16 would be too confusing with Perl 6</saying>
<saying who="mst">perl6 is a separate language</saying>
<saying who="rmah">GlitchMr: we&#39;ll soon have Perl 18, so it&#39;s all good</saying>
<saying who="GlitchMr">Perl 5.006 is definitely not Perl 6</saying>
<saying who="mst">this is perl5 version 16</saying>
<saying who="michael_campbell">They called java 1.4, &quot;java 1.4&quot;.  java moved names at java 5.</saying>
<saying who="michael_campbell">but point stands.</saying>
<saying who="huf">did it help? i know it generated years of confusion :D</saying>
<saying who="huf">is that good?</saying>
<saying who="mauke">GlitchMr: but I call it perl6, not perl 6</saying>
<saying who="mst">GlitchMr: yeah, &quot;Perl 6&quot; is an error, since the 6 is part of the name</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">I call Java &quot;Anne-Mary Lousia&quot; and Python &quot;Charles Phillip Arthur George&quot; (bonus points for recognizing this one ;)</saying>
<saying who="mst">GlitchMr: people misparse it as &quot;perl version 6&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rmah">how much of an improvement is perl 16 over perl 14 and 12?</saying>
<saying who="Botje">Su-Shee: do you also put them like that on your CV? :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Systemd is at version 187 - eat your heart out, Emacs!</saying>
<saying who="rmah">wondering if I should go through the hassle of upgrading</saying>
<saying who="Botje">rmah: five percent.</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">Su-Shee: Vaguely.</saying>
<saying who="mst">Su-Shee: python&#39;s ears aren&#39;t nearly big enough for that</saying>
<saying who="pink_mist">rmah: read the perldoc perldeltas</saying>
<saying who="rmah">Botje: hmm, ok</saying>
<saying who="mst">rmah: s//r in 14 is my favourite thing ever</saying>
<saying who="rmah">pink_mist: that would take actual work!  &lt;gasp!&gt;</saying>
<saying who="mst">rmah: also &#39;package Name VERSION {&#39;</saying>
<saying who="Su-Shee">mst: *bow* nice. :)</saying>
<saying who="GlitchMr">s///r is just nice syntactic sugar</saying>
<saying who="rmah">mst: thanks for the info</saying>
<saying who="mst">GlitchMr: given a turing machine, all new syntax is sugar</saying>
<saying who="rmah">I like sugar</saying>
<saying who="GlitchMr">Hmmm... yeah</saying>
<saying who="GlitchMr">We all could write without pointers in C</saying>
<saying who="mauke">could we?</saying>
<saying who="GlitchMr">Brainfuck to C compiler doesn&#39;t use pointers</saying>
<saying who="GlitchMr">... or perhaps it does...</saying>
<saying who="GlitchMr">Would int array[3000]; count as pointer?</saying>
<saying who="mst">without the ability to point, what would you do before you laugh?</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">mst: you should tweet that profundity</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">might not be banal enough for twitter mind you</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>A critique of pure revision.</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-cats-not-a-solution">
        <meta>
            <title>Not a solution</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="EdwardIII">Altreus: I saw your magento moral quantry on g+</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">EdwardIII: Magento!</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">runs away screaming.</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">EdwardIII: do you mean the eCommerce solution?</saying>
<saying who="EdwardIII">rindolf: i do</saying>
<saying who="EdwardIII">heh</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">rindolf: “solution” is a bit generous</saying>
<saying who="Altreus">I would say “problem”</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl-cats</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Not a solution</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-moose-and-roles">
        <meta>
            <title>Perl’s Moose and its Roles</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="rindolf">perlbot: revert 5449</saying>
<saying who="perlbot">rindolf: Reverted soap to revision 5449</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">perlbot: good perlbot</saying>
<saying who="perlbot">rindolf: &lt;purrrrrrr /&gt; &lt;woof /&gt; &lt;tail-wag /&gt;</saying>
<me_is who="fizztpok">wonders how many people list ``perlbot&#39;&#39; as a language on their CVs.</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">perlbot: help mkalias</saying>
<saying who="perlbot">rindolf: Sorry, no plugin named mkalias found.</saying>
<saying who="pdl">wait, it purrs AND woofs?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pdl: mixed message.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pdl: the purring is as a cat.</saying>
<saying who="pdl">rindolf: Maybe it&#39;s neither dog nor cat but Moose and just implements purring, woofing and tailwagging via roles?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">pdl: heh.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I didn&#39;t know Meese were actors.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">How many roles does a Moose play?</saying>
<saying who="fizztpok">502 results for &quot;Moose Role&quot; on CPAN.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">genio: nice.</saying>
<saying who="pdl">http://deps.cpantesters.org/depended-on-by.pl?module=Moose%3A%3ARole</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">fizztpok: wow! That Moose must be the world&#39;s most prolific actor. Which is especially impressive given the fact that he&#39;s not human.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>How many roles must a one Moose play…</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-perl-for-lack-of-a-slash">
        <meta>
            <title>For lack of a slash</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="nydel">helo</saying>
<saying who="mucker_">hello nydel</saying>
<saying who="nydel">howdy mucker_ &amp; how&#39;re you</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">ehlo nydel</saying>
<saying who="mucker_">nydel: borderline</saying>
<saying who="nydel">hihi DrForr</saying>
<saying who="mucker_">nydel: The Doctor is drunk !! In a short while he will start singing :)</saying>
<saying who="nydel">DrForr: why wait? mucker_ will you get on backup vocals</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">Don&#39;t make me get out my ga^wuke.</saying>
<saying who="nydel">let&#39;s sing about Perl, are there any good Perl songs</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">Ask PerlJam.</saying>
<saying who="tadzik">Rolling Stones had something about Tuesday</saying>
<saying who="tadzik">that was Ruby Tuesday though :(</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">Well, I *did* have a pint at lunch, but I&#39;d hardly call that &#39;drunk&#39;.</saying>
<saying who="nydel">DrForr: pint of vodka?</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">Hoegaarden actually.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">nydel: http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/Im-The-Real-Tim-Toady/</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">nydel: also http://perlbuzz.com/2007/12/it-was-twenty-years-ago-today.html</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">o/&#39; Will the real Rip Taylor please crack up, please crack up, please crack up o/&#39;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">nydel: http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/fortunes/show.cgi?id=perl-losing-my-abstraction</saying>
<saying who="nydel">rindolf: what lovely little ditties!</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">Hey, who you callin&#39;....oh :)</saying>
<saying who="nydel">is there an offtopic perl channel?</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">Is there an *ontopic* perl channel?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">nydel: #perlcafe and #perl-cats</saying>
<saying who="nydel">fed you that straight line didn&#39;t i</saying>
<saying who="nydel">join #perlcafe</saying>
<saying who="nydel">pardon my lack of slash.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">For lack of a slash, the command failed.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">For lack of a command, the client failed.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">For lack of a client, the server failed.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">For lack of a server, the network failed.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">All because of a little slash.</saying>
<saying who="pink_mist">For lack of a network, the corporation failed. For lack of a corporation, the community failed.</saying>
<saying who="mucker_">Having failed, the community peddled hash tables to kids</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">&quot;The first key&#39;s free!&quot;</saying>
<saying who="cfedde">see? I&#39;ve been saying this is a language based on drug culture.</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">&quot;UNIX and LSD were both invented at Berkeley. I do not believe this to be a coincidence.&quot;</saying>
<saying who="cfedde">BSD and LSD.</saying>
<saying who="cfedde">Unix was invented at some east coast lab.</saying>
<saying who="DrForr">Thanks for the correction, I knew it didn&#39;t quite sound right.</saying>
<saying who="pink_mist">also, was LSD really *invented* at Berkeley? I find that hard to believe ... that it&#39;s *available* there I don&#39;t doubt though..</saying>
<saying who="mucker_">well guido is from netherlands.</saying>
<saying who="pink_mist">... seems it was actually discovered in Basel, Germany by Albert Hofmann in 1938 :P</saying>
<saying who="pink_mist">Basel, Germany -- Berkeley ... starting letter and ending letters are the same :P</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>#perl</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Fun on #perl</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
</list>
</collection>
Tip: Filter by directory path e.g. /media app.js to search for public/media/app.js.
Tip: Use camelCasing e.g. ProjME to search for ProjectModifiedEvent.java.
Tip: Filter by extension type e.g. /repo .js to search for all .js files in the /repo directory.
Tip: Separate your search with spaces e.g. /ssh pom.xml to search for src/ssh/pom.xml.
Tip: Use ↑ and ↓ arrow keys to navigate and return to view the file.
Tip: You can also navigate files with Ctrl+j (next) and Ctrl+k (previous) and view the file with Ctrl+o.
Tip: You can also navigate files with Alt+j (next) and Alt+k (previous) and view the file with Alt+o.