* The Master
- "Call me 'Karl'".
- "I always thought the Master would be Karl the Great"
- "You're Charlemagne, admit it."
- "Idiot, you've discovered my identity and I shall now parish. Selena
Mandrake - I have been slain by you."
- his soul leaves his body.
- Selena touches his corpse with her foot and the body evaporates into
- The crowd cheers.
* "You now must slay The Rider, the Vampirella with the oldest body ; the
Integrator, the Vampire with the same body and same soul ; and The Slayer,
the first vampire to have slain."
* "Only a Vampire can slay a vampire, and vampirellas are the most formidable
* "Tell you what - I'm no longer The Slayer. I quit"
- The Guide: "As you wish."
- A crazy looking woman heads into their direction with a knife in her
- Selena freaks out and hides behind the Guide.
- The Guide pulls out a cross bow and shoots the woman in her heart
and she evaporates into dust.
- "That was the Slayer"
- "Selena: so you slew her?"
- "The Guide: no, you did."
* The Guide gives Selena a gift in a fancy chest. The first compartment contains
a very stylised 1d10 die, and after opening the other compartment, she sees
a plastic card saying "Vampire" on the side, with her ID photo, and saying:
«Selena Mandrake ; "buffy" ; The Dispeller» on the other side.
* The two British vampires.
- Selena is doing her maths homework at the library.
- "I'm Alan. I'm John. We're Mighty Vampires."
- "Selena Mandrake. Mighty Pirate.".
- The start talking about various pop culture stuff and funny things.
- end up emulating the suicide squad from "Life of Brian".
- with unsharpened pencils.
- "Selena Mandrake - we have been slain by you.".
* The vampires in the hall:
- Selena tells them that they are likely the good guys and should stand
- "Vampires of the World, Unite!"
- They agree that she is right.
- Someone suggests they do a group exercise.
- "Jehovah, Jehovah, Jehovah"
(like Steve Ballmer's "Developers, developers, developers").
- Selena says that the religious students in her school will not
appreciate that and tries to turn it off.
- Meanwhile, the vampires take a stake, and stab themselves in their
heart, causing all of them to evaporate into dust.
- Selena turns off the music and goes to clean up the dust.
* Milady Kate Canterson
Apr 28 20:03:40 <rindolf> Only in the real world of the story Lord Buckingham was actually slayed by someone else who was a Brunette English/French combo.
Apr 28 20:03:54 <rindolf> Like she was born in France to English parents, and moved to England at the age of 6.
Apr 28 20:04:06 <rindolf> There she forgot her French and learned English.
Apr 28 20:04:14 <cl0ud> rindolf: sounds like a cool story
Apr 28 20:04:53 <rindolf> And later on she married a noble and studied French, but then he died from a disease.
Apr 28 20:05:19 <rindolf> However, she was miserable at first and then became happy again and decided to move to Paris.
Apr 28 20:05:24 <rindolf> So she became a socialite there and also taught English, learned French, and instructed people with the Bible.
Apr 28 20:05:35 <rindolf> Only many people envied her because she was so compotent.
Apr 28 20:05:40 <rindolf> Diablo-D3: no.
Apr 28 20:05:47 <rindolf> Diablo-D3: she did.
Apr 28 20:05:53 <rindolf> Diablo-D3: Milady Kate .
Apr 28 20:06:20 <rindolf> Diablo-D3: BTW, I've thought that Captain Picard is more similar to Cardinal Richelieu.
Apr 28 20:06:32 <rindolf> Diablo-D3: and I don't know who Thes is.
Apr 28 20:06:53 <rindolf> Anyway, she became a little miserable from all the intolerance of these French female jerks.
Apr 28 20:06:58 <Diablo-D3> rindolf: thes, plural of the.
Apr 28 20:07:01 <rindolf> Not all the socialites were jerks.
Apr 28 20:07:09 <Diablo-D3> ALL SOCIALITES ARE JERKS
Apr 28 20:07:11 <rindolf> Diablo-D3: oh, not all vampires got slain.
Apr 28 20:07:11 <loudbot> NO APPARENTLY YOU HAVE TO SET THE GROUND ON FIRE TOO
Apr 28 20:07:21 <Diablo-D3> except for the google founders
Apr 28 20:07:26 <rindolf> Diablo-D3: HYPERBOLE FTW.
Apr 28 20:07:40 <rindolf> Diablo-D3: anyway, eventually she had a long affair with D'Artagnan.
Apr 28 20:07:57 <rindolf> Diablo-D3: which was kept secret , but most people realised that.
Apr 28 20:08:03 <rindolf> Diablo-D3: she was an Anglican.
Apr 28 20:08:10 <rindolf> Diablo-D3: Milady Kate I mean.
Apr 28 20:09:07 <rindolf> Diablo-D3: and then Richelieu ordered the king to order D'Artagnan and Athos and her to escort her in order to plan the slaying of Lord Buckingham.
Apr 28 20:09:19 <rindolf> Now slaying is not the traditional killing.
Apr 28 20:10:04 <Diablo-D3> who the fuck are these people
Apr 28 20:11:41 <rindolf> What happened is that her British friend shot one bullet at Buckingham , said he missed on purpose , and recharged his gun. So she told him she just slain him, brought a body that looked like Lord Buckingham and said he and she are going to America to start a new life.
Apr 28 20:11:49 <rindolf> And they were leaving from Plymouth.
Apr 28 20:11:57 <rindolf> Diablo-D3: read "The Three Musketeers"
Apr 28 20:12:09 <rindolf> I'm surprised you have not read it.
Apr 28 20:12:20 <rindolf> Diablo-D3: Milady de Winter is an awesome character.
Apr 28 20:12:31 <rindolf> So is his portrayal of Cardinal Richelieu.
Apr 28 20:12:39 <rindolf> Dumas Pere was great.
- after arriving to New York, Kate and George (formerly Lord Buckingham)
- Kate leads several incarnations as a Bible, languages and liberal arts
scholar - until Dumas publishes the book "The Three Musketeers".
- The book's popularity makes "Milady de-Winter" and Kate as "*The* Slayer",
which causes both France and England to claim Milady Canterson as their own
and (what's worse) makes Kate a popular target for people who want
her to slay them.
- Annoyed, she travels to Paris to meet Dumas.
- After telling him she has become the Real Slayer, he says it is a
great honour for him, and offers her his finest food and drinks.
- Kate accepts despite the fact that she is still irritated.
* The plot plan:
- The Two British Vampires
- The demon walking in the park with the long neck.
- "You are past redemption"
- "And you have ruined my newspaper."
- The Three.
- fighting one another in various ways until they throw toothpicks
at one another.
- Selena's birthday party.
- She was born in 20 February.
- A small, non-human demon with "powerful mystical powers".
- Selena asks him what to put on his name tag, and he tells her
“Mephiqoleth”. She asks him how he spells it and he says: "my
name is written in Leshon Haqodesh (לשון הקודש).
- “You mean Hebrew?”
- Yes. <non-dramatically>I'm Jewish</non-dramatically>
- But you're not human.
- "There are Jews of many species".
- Selena: oh good, can I have a Jewish lady cat? I want one
so she can mother cute Jewish kittens.
- Mephiqoleth is not amused.
- "Selena, you are now eight and ten years old - you are now a
- She asks him to wait for spring break so she'll have enough
time to prepare
- Teleports her to The Amber, the mystical centre of the
- The Amber being a villa in Northern Tel Aviv.
- The Mendelssohn household.
- Selena goes on more trip to Israel.
- She ends up showing a photo shootout of her trip to her friend.
- Selena says she isn't convinced this is the Amber.
- "My slayer went to Israel and all I got was this lousy
T-shirt" souvenir T-shirt.
- Meleyum is slain by her.
- The congregation of vampires in the hall.
- The Master.
- Turns out to be http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlemagne
- Karl the Great
- After Selena discovers it, he promptly gets slain, his soul
leaves his body.
- Selena touches the body with her foot and it evaporates into
- The scene with the guide who tells her she must now slay the Rider,
the Integrator and the Slayer.
- Selena quits as the Slayer.
- Summer vacation + start of university studies.
- The scene with Moses and Aharon
- Meeting Milady Kate Canterson
- Epilogue: Selena gets tutored by Kate in French, languages, etc.