shlomi-fish-homepage / t2 / humour / fortunes / sharp-programming.xml

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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<?xml-stylesheet type="text/xml" href="fortune-xml-to-html.xsl"?>
<collection>
  <head/>
  <list>
    <fortune id="sharp-programming-dot-om">
        <meta>
            <title>.om</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>

<saying who="rindolf">ljuwaidah: so aren&#39;t there more people who use FOSS in Oman?</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">there are, but they&#39;re only a few</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ljuwaidah: ah.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Oman has .om as its TLD.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">.om .nom .nom</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">p.om p.om</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">kabo.om</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">DJB got the cr.yp.to domain.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">And there&#39;s also ali.as which is Adam Kennedy&#39;s.</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">looool</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">rand.om :P</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">do.om :P</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">ro.om</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">m.om</saying>
<saying who="Black_Phoenix">your.m.om</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">hahahaha</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">is that supposed to be a milf site? :P</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">yahoo.c.om</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">bro.om</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">http://yourmom.com/</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Though it&#39;s down now.</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">don&#39;t keep your hopes up on .om domains</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">our ISP is a greedy money sucker</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;I&#39;d rather be a .com than a .om&quot;</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">rindolf: me too</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ljuwaidah: this was a joke.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I have a few .org domains.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">From GoDaddy</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">unless you need it for a domain trick</saying>
<me_is who="Black_Phoenix">&lt;--- .com bastard here</me_is>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">rindolf: where&#39;s the joke?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ljuwaidah: joke?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ljuwaidah: it rhymes.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dot-com, dot-om - get it? get it? get it?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">;-)</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">no :(</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ljuwaidah: om rhymes with com.</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">so?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ljuwaidah: &quot;I&#39;d rather be a dot-com than a dot-om&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ljuwaidah: it&#39;s just a silly rhyme.</saying>
<saying who="Black_Phoenix">I&#39;d rather a website</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Black_Phoenix: I accidentally a web-site.</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">I still don&#39;t get the joke</saying>
<saying who="Black_Phoenix">rindolf, I&#39;d still rather a blog</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Black_Phoenix: rather what a blog?</saying>
<saying who="Black_Phoenix">Website a blog</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ljuwaidah: never mind.</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">sorry, I don&#39;t know why I&#39;m slow today</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Black_Phoenix: do you mean that you would rather *be* a web-site?</saying>
<saying who="Black_Phoenix">I&#39;d rather website a blog</saying>
<saying who="Black_Phoenix">broken grammar time :D</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">Black_Phoenix: when did website become a verb?</saying>
<saying who="Black_Phoenix">it didn&#39;t</saying>
<saying who="Black_Phoenix">I&#39;m using it as a verb to produce nonsense</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">I sense light!</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">{I see}</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ljuwaidah: http://www.google.com.om/</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">rindolf: I know</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">If Google can do it - so can you.</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">I don&#39;t use it</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">&#39;cause some services don&#39;t work on it</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ljuwaidah: ah.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ljuwaidah: in any case, seems like one can register a .com.om domain.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>The .om domain</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-c-with-what-to-write-code">
        <meta>
            <title>With what to write code?</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="Quetzalcoatl_">How do I write a computer vision program in C on a microcontroller?</saying>
<saying who="dyf">Quetzalcoatl_: with a text editor?</saying>
<saying who="Quetzalcoatl_">Hmm.. Never thought of that. But which editor? Is Notepad good enough?</saying>
<saying who="mauke">no, you need at least Wordpad</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mauke: I suggest MS Word or at least OpenOffice.org</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">mauke: but in order to really be able to write well, you need a desktop publishing program like Scribus or Adobe FrameMaker.</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">wonders which compiler will accept PDFs as input.</me_is>
<saying who="waiting">rindolf: /usr/bin/pdftotext</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">waiting: and pray.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">There&#39;s an estoric programming language called Piet (I think) that accepts images as input.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>How to write stylistic code</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-programming-your-emacs-so-fat">
        <meta>
            <title>Your Emacs is so fat</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="rindolf">Deiu: which editor are you using?</saying>
<saying who="Deiu">Ugh, let me catch up with the convo first</saying>
<saying who="Deiu">And yeah, I use vim too</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Deiu: ah good. If you were using Eight Megabytes And Continuously Swapping , I would have to swap you with it!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I have a column of vim tips on one of my blogs.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I also like Escape-Meta-Alt-Control-Shift.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">There are a lot of jokes about Emacs.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">There are lots of jokes about your mom too ;)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: eMom</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">eh?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">e-Macs -&gt; eMum</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;Your Mom is so fat, only Emacs takes more memory than her.&quot;</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">nope, doesnt work</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: :-(</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">Your emacs is so fat that your mom could fit in it</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Heh.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">ahhh, yes, much better</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu++</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">:P</saying>
<joins who="dbm">has joined ##programming</joins>
<me_is who="rindolf">stores some key/value pairs in dbm </me_is>
<me_is who="Zuu">stores some moms in dbm</me_is>
<saying who="dbm">lol</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: you overflowed him.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">:&gt;</saying>
<saying who="dbm">;)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Or her, don&#39;t know.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">them.</saying>
<saying who="dbm">&#39;him&#39;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">OK.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dbm: I don&#39;t recall your nick.</saying>
<saying who="dbm">dbm= dont bother me</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">don&#39;t be mean.</saying>
<saying who="dbm">;)</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">or: do bother me</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Your Emacs is so fat</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-programming-why-XSLT-is-so-evil">
        <meta>
            <title>Why XSLT is so evil?</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<joins who="xmler">has joined ##programming</joins>
<saying who="xmler">Hi</saying>
<saying who="xmler">How can I do &lt;a href=&quot;$variable&quot;&gt;blah&lt;/a&gt; in XSLT?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">xmler: you can use &lt;xsl:attribute&gt;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">xmler: or use ${...}</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">xmler: have you read the Zvon XSLT tutorial?</saying>
<saying who="xmler">rindolf: I&#39;ve read various resources; perhaps it&#39;s the fault of XML::XSLT on CPAN</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">xmler: use XML::LibXSLT instead.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">It&#39;s faster and better.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">&lt;insert mean statement about XSLT&gt;</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">:)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;XSLT is the work of Satan&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;It&#39;s the worst thing since non-sliced bread.&quot;</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">Hahaha :D</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;Mothers used to tell their children about XSLT to scare them.&quot;</saying>
<saying who="xmler">Haha</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">That last one is good</saying>
<saying who="xmler">XSLT seems pretty cool</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">xmler, no no, that&#39;s not mean</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">you&#39;re doing it wrong</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">:P</saying>
<saying who="xmler">XSLT is too cool to be mean to :p</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">Hehe</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;XSLT is the number one cause of programmers&#39; suicides since Visual Basic 1.0&quot;</saying>
<saying who="tommy_the-dragon">lol</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">:&gt;</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">I could believe in that</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;The X in XSLT stands for eXtermination.&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;XSLT makes the baby jesus cry.&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;The only things worse than XSLT are Excel and sugarless tea.&quot;</saying>
<saying who="tommy_the-dragon">rofl</saying>
<me_is who="Zuu">kinda likes Excel</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: yes, it was a joke.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">Noooh!</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">they are all true!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Now I&#39;m out of ideas.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">i havent even had a single idea yet..</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;XSLT is what Chuck Norris has nightmares of.&quot;</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">Whoah!</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">wait.. that would somehow make XSLT cooler than Chuck Norris...</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">Chuck Norris dont have mightmares</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;Confucius e says: &#39;XSLT made me realise humanity was hopeless.&quot;</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">&quot;Even APL wont make friends with XSLT&quot;</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">yay, i maded one!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;God considered using XSLT as the tenth plague of Egypt, but thought it was too evil.&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: :-)</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">Haha :D</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">that plauge one is awesome</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;In Soviet Russia, XSLT codes you. Badly!&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;Satan condemned Hitler for a million years of writing XSLT&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">OK, back to work.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">C - not XSLt.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">:)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;The KGB used to torture their victims by having them look at scrolling XSLT code&quot;</saying>
<saying who="xmler">rindolf: lol, love the KGB + XSLT one</saying>
<saying who="xmler">rindolf: by the way, what&#39;s with the XSLT hate by the way, is it some kind of meme? :p</saying>
<me_is who="Zuu">gives xmler an XSLT interpreter written in XSLT</me_is>
<saying who="Jck_true">I wanna make ASM code from XSLT</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;My name is Inigo Montoya. You forced my father to write XSLT. Prepare to die! And be thankful I don&#39;t force you to write XSLT.&quot;</saying>
<saying who="xmler">Ah for gawd&#39;s sake.  Can&#39;t install XML::LibXML, it says I don&#39;t have libxml2 (I do)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">xmler: do you have the -devel package?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">xmler: what is your distro?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">OS distro I mean.</saying>
<saying who="xmler">rindolf: Debian 4.0</saying>
<saying who="xmler">Ooh, perhaps I don&#39;t actually</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">xmler: ok, then apt-get install libxml-libxslt-perl</saying>
<me_is who="Zuu">have to go o/</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">xmler: maybe we should discuss it on #perl?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: bye</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: and beware of stray XSLT code.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">I will :P</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: OK.</saying>
<saying who="xmler">rindolf: sure, uno memento :)</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Chuck Norris is out! XSLT is in!</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-programming-dazjorz-makes-his-entrance">
        <meta>
            <title>Introducing dazjorz to Zuu</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="dazjorz">rindolf!</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">areth thou here?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Hi dazjorz </saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">:)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: yes, I are here.</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">isn&#39;t it kind of weird to have a programming channel when there are language specific channels around?</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">Muhah!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: this is about programming in general.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">At least theoretically.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">And VB.NET questions.</saying>
<saying who="joeyadams">Well, ##programming is a good place to ask C questions and actually get helpful answers :)</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">rindolf: did you intentionally make it look like vb.net is not programming?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: meet Zuu  - he&#39;s into Windows and D and stuff.</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: no.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: VB.NET is programming.</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">hey Zuu, I&#39;m dazjorz, I&#39;m into linux and c and stuff.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">But it has its own channel.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">:&gt;</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">rindolf: I&#39;ve been thinking about changing nicks</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: ah. so did I.</saying>
<me_is who="Zuu">is into everything sane, except the boring stuff</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: to what?</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">rindolf: my current one is waaaay too lame, but &quot;sjors&quot; is probably too generic</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: I like  dazjorz </saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">rindolf: I don&#39;t, because when people see my name is sjors, da zjorz is just too lame to bear</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">rindolf: I was thinking about sjors, or some three-letter abbreviation of my name, sjg or so</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">how about.... &#39;carrot&#39; ?</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">I think I do prefer dazjorz over carrot</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">no worries, i promise not to stuff you up rindolf&#39;s tomato nose</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">hum :&lt;</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">Zuu: when I first read your nick on Shlomi&#39;s site five minutes ago, I asked him whether you were a mix between Zorix and Buu</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">do you know the two?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zoffix and buu.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">nope</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">uh zoffix yeah</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">Zuu: okay, well, you don&#39;t know them, but believe me, I&#39;m glad you&#39;re not a mix of the two, that would be horrible :P</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">im a mix of much worse personalities im sure</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">most of them just happen to cancel each other out</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Introudcing dazjorz to Zuu</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-programming-reindeers-tomatoes-and-nicks">
        <meta>
            <title>Reindeers, Tomatoes and Nicks</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: I considered switching my default nick to &quot;shlomif&quot;, because that&#39;s how most people know me.</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">rindolf: yeah, it&#39;s your alternative nick now right?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: but then XChat2 reverted to the old nick and I was too lazy.</saying>
<saying who="unreal">You seem to have many, well, stupid friends, rindolf :P</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: yes, I have it registered.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">unreal: stupid?</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">rindolf, noo! what to do about the tomato then? fish dont have big tomato noses!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: fish?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: I&#39;ll give you a tomoato.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">good question</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I&#39;ll give you the tomato back.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">where do i get fish from</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">no no, keep it :D</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: my last name is Fish.</saying>
<me_is who="tommy_the-dragon">slaps zuu with a fish</me_is>
<saying who="tommy_the-dragon">there ya go</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">rindolf: I just registered &#39;sjors&#39;</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">gives a fish to Zuu </me_is>
<saying who="dazjorz">rindolf: as a nick.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">rindolf, thats just absurd, a reindeer with &#39;fish&#39; as surname...</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">your parents must have hated you</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Open source: &quot;everyone contributes a fish, and in exchange everyone gets their own ocean.&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: ah, cool.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">tommy_the-dragon, does dragons eat other animals, like fish?</saying>
<saying who="unreal">Ocean == Big Momma&#39;s Bath?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: I&#39;m not a reindeer - I just play one on T.V.</saying>
<saying who="tommy_the-dragon">not fish...</saying>
<saying who="tommy_the-dragon">just reindeers</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">tommy_the-dragon, what about fake TV reindeers ?</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">Nice :D</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">unreal: no, the whole enchilada.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">tommy_the-dragon: LOL.</saying>
<saying who="tommy_the-dragon">and enchiladas</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">rindolf: I know someone whose nick is Stonehead, he made his three-letter acronym stn, but usually it&#39;s letters from the first name</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">uh</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">the full name</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">yours could be shf for example, and everybody would know &quot;hey, that&#39;s shlomi&quot;</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">but I&#39;m at most sg, so I need to borrow another letter somewhere, or make it daz or just sjors</saying>
<me_is who="dazjorz">thinks</me_is>
<saying who="tommy_the-dragon">my cat eats flies...</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: I hate these three letter acronyms.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">shlomi really sounds like some dish made of reindeer</saying>
<saying who="tommy_the-dragon">but hes lucky because i dont eat cats</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: heh.</saying>
<saying who="unreal">heh</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">tommy_the-dragon: I didn&#39;t know dragons had cats.</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">what&#39;s the name of the red-nosed reindeer again?</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">it sounds edible at least</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">oh rudolf :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: Randolph.</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">oh</saying>
<saying who="unreal">I used to have a friend whos nick was &quot;crap&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">unreal: wow.</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">&lt;someguy&gt; crap, someone stole my bicycle</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">&lt;crap&gt; ok?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: heh.</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">rindolf: why don&#39;t you like the three-letter acronyms?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: often too confusing.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: and two easy to mistype.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: and not too memorable.</saying>
<saying who="unreal">LIS.</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">three easy to mistype, I think</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">And often hard to pronounce.</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">maybe I&#39;ll just go with sjors</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">too easy. Freudian.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: yes, I think that&#39;s a good idea.</saying>
<saying who="unreal">(Lies, I say!)</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">hehe, rindolf++ # freudian</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">or you could pick something girly and hope people will treat you nicer :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: have you played with the farnsworth bot yet?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: RinGirl</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Though nicks with &quot;Girl &quot; in them tend to draw too much attention.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">nah, it cant contain &#39;girl&#39; that just seems fake</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">rindolf: I have</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">rindolf: remind me to fix knotify, khtml, and quassel :(</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: nice.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: using MemoServ?</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">rindolf: the bugs annoy me, a lot, but I never get around to actually trying to fix them</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: maybe I should call myself &quot;shlomi&quot;. Americans will think I&#39;m a girl.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">yeah, it kinda have a girlish sound to it</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">rindolf: call yourself shloma, dutch people will think you&#39;re over sixty and female</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: heh.</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">let me rephase that</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">dutch people will think you&#39;re female... and over sixty</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">(oma = grandma)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: ah.</saying>
<saying who="unreal">kloot.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">In Hebrew nouns that end with &quot;ah&quot; tend to be feminine.</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">shlomah?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Seriously now, if I change my nick it will be to shlomif.</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">let&#39;s change our nicks at the same time</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Well, in Shlomi&#39;s case it would be Shlomith.</saying>
<saying who="dazjorz">I will be sjors, you will be shlomif</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dazjorz: OK.</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">is now known as shlomif</me_is>
<saying who="dazjorz">shit, now I have to</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">what does shlimif even mean ?</saying>
<me_is who="dazjorz">is now known as sjors</me_is>
<saying who="sjors">Zuu: shlomi = his first name, f = the first letter of his last name</saying>
<saying who="shlomif">sjors: hi.</saying>
<saying who="shlomif">Zuu: shlomi fish.</saying>
<saying who="sjors">hi shlomif</saying>
<saying who="shlomif">Hi sjors </saying>
<saying who="tommy_the-dragon">where does rindolf come into it?</saying>
<saying who="shlomif">sjors: my nick is longer than yours.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">oh lol, and i just said his name sound girly :P</saying>
<me_is who="Zuu">pat pats shlomif ^^</me_is>
<saying who="shlomif">tommy_the-dragon: Rindolf was a dwarven warrior I played in AD&amp;D.</saying>
<saying who="tommy_the-dragon">ahh ok</saying>
<me_is who="shlomif">gives Zuu his tomato back.</me_is>
<saying who="Zuu">:&lt;</saying>
<saying who="shlomif">Since I&#39;m no longer a reindeer.</saying>
<saying who="sjors">shlomif: that&#39;s just to compensate against something you have that&#39;s way shorter than mine</saying>
<saying who="shlomif">sjors: LOL.</saying>
<saying who="shlomif">sjors++</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">Erhmm.. shlomif! how come there&#39;s this big hole in it?</saying>
<saying who="tommy_the-dragon">sorry...</saying>
<saying who="tommy_the-dragon">my bad</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">Hehe</saying>
<me_is who="shlomif">doesn&#39;t like raw tomatoes.</me_is>
<saying who="shlomif">But I eat them with pasta, etc.</saying>
<saying who="shlomif">Or as meat sauce.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">or in sandwiches</saying>
<saying who="shlomif">sjors: anyway, welcome to ##programming </saying>
<saying who="Zuu">or on reindeer nose</saying>
<saying who="shlomif">sjors: I&#39;ll probably revert to &quot;rindolf&quot; after next disconnect.</saying>
<saying who="shlomif">Zuu: after you cook the entire reindeer.</saying>
<me_is who="shlomif">is a reindeer cannibal.</me_is>
<saying who="shlomif">Well, rindolf is.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">yes, but he ran away</saying>
<saying who="shlomif">I also like dried and olive oiled tomatoes.</saying>
<saying who="sjors">shlomif: I just changed my clients&#39; settings to reconnect as sjors, too</saying>
<saying who="shlomif">Well, I think I&#39;ll go to sleep.</saying>
<saying who="shlomif">sjors: ah.</saying>
<saying who="sjors">shlomif: it&#39;ll probably take a while to &quot;adapt&quot; to sjors instead of dazjorz</saying>
<saying who="shlomif">sjors: well, enjoy your new nick.</saying>
<saying who="sjors">and I still have dazjorz.com, and not sjors.anything</saying>
<me_is who="Zuu">tugs shlomif in</me_is>
<saying who="sjors">thanks ;)</saying>
<saying who="shlomif">Zuu: thanks.</saying>
<me_is who="Zuu">quicly squeeses a fresh tomato onto shlomif&#39;s nose</me_is>
<saying who="sjors">shlomif: sjors.biz and sjors.mobi at most</saying>
<me_is who="shlomif">doesn&#39;t have rindolf.{com,org,net} etc.</me_is>
<saying who="shlomif">sjors: maybe sjors.in</saying>
<saying who="shlomif">I got a shlom.in</saying>
<saying who="sjors">sjors.indahou.se</saying>
<saying who="shlomif">sjors: heh.</saying>
<saying who="sjors">sjors.ac, sjors.ag, sjors.am, sjors.at</saying>
<saying who="sjors">hehe sjors.me</saying>
<saying who="sjors">sjors.pl, too bad i don&#39;t really do perl anymore</saying>
<saying who="shlomif">sjors: there&#39;s also .sh</saying>
<saying who="sjors">sjors.sh, too bad I don&#39;t really do shell script a lot</saying>
<saying who="shlomif">Or .im</saying>
<saying who="sjors">sjors.tv, too bad I don&#39;t really watch..</saying>
<saying who="tommy_the-dragon">do you own a mobile?</saying>
<saying who="shlomif">.tv are pretty costly.</saying>
<saying who="sjors">meh I don&#39;t like sjors. anyway, so I&#39;ll just keep dazjorz for everything</saying>
<saying who="tommy_the-dragon">yeah whats with that (the price of .tv)?</saying>
<saying who="shlomif">tommy_the-dragon: it&#39;s the foundation of the economy of Tuvaly.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Reindeers, Tomatoes and Normalising Nicks</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-programming-snafu-cake">
        <meta>
            <title>SNAFU Cake</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<me_is who="rindolf">tries to think what can cause the KDE 4 SNAFU on his user.</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">And hopefully to avoid bissecting the KDE 4 config tree. </saying>
<saying who="Zuu">snafu... that wounds like a delicious cake :D</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">*sounds</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: Situation Normal - All F****ed up.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">:/</saying>
<me_is who="Zuu">gives the snafu cake to Dmage :D</me_is>
<saying who="Zuu">Dmage, just eat the cake already</saying>
<saying who="Dmage">Zuu, are you hate my english? ;)</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">i hate your non-english</saying>
<saying who="Black_Phoenix">I english your hate</saying>
<saying who="Dmage">xD</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">Dmage, but i dont hate you! :D</saying>
<saying who="Black_Phoenix">and now I can do that</saying>
<saying who="Dmage">Zuu, learn russian then! :)</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">Hehe</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">Dmage, i think you&#39;d hate my russion far more than i would ever hate your english</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Spasiva.</saying>
<saying who="Dmage">xD</saying>
<saying who="Dmage">learn &#39;Eto huinya!&#39;</saying>
<me_is who="Zuu">steals the snafu cake back from Dmage and gives it to rindolf instead</me_is>
<saying who="Dmage">and apply everywhere</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">eats the SNAFU cake</me_is>
<saying who="Zuu">:D</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">eats Zuu&#39;s Danish too.</me_is>
<saying who="Zuu">Noooh!</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">loves Zuu&#39;s Danish.</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">Yum yum.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">tis mine!</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">My daaaanish :&#39;(</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">My precioussssssssss!</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">tis gone :&lt;</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>SNAFU Cake</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-programming-what-is-qantor">
        <meta>
            <title>What is Qantor?</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="rindolf">What should I do now?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I&#39;ll work on Text-Qantor.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">It&#39;s so great not to have a job.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">yeah, if someone else pays for the food it sure is :D</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">also, i dont really understand much of what you just told me :P</saying>
<me_is who="Zuu">puts a stick into the Text-Qantor</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: Qantor == Qantor ain&#39;t no TeX/Troff oh really.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">It&#39;s a typesetting system I&#39;m working on.</saying>
<me_is who="Zuu">hates the name</me_is>
<saying who="Zuu">it makes me kinda mad actually :/</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: :-)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: maybe it will grow on you.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: some people I know named a browser suckass.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">:(</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I refused to work on it.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">see that&#39;s a name!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: heh.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">i didnt mean that btw :)</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">suckass is kinda... unkind</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">OK, now I should write an http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ transformation.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I&#39;ll start from something I already have.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">But the &quot;X ain&#39;t no &lt;something related&gt;&quot; is just a lame naming convention imho</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">yeah, work on some XSLT facts :D</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: just call it Qantor then.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Without the mnemonics.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">but anyone interrested will learn that it&#39;s an abbreviation</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">just by the fact that it&#39;s recursive makes me want to kill myself a little bit more :P</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: do me a break and kill yourself.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">:&gt;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Less Zuus  - more grass for evil reindeers like me to feed on.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>What is Qantor?</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-programming-turing-hard">
        <meta>
            <title>Turing Hard</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="rindolf">Pythack now was able to get the fc-solve test suite up and running.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">eh?!</saying>
<me_is who="Zuu">solves rindolf</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: http://fc-solve.berlios.de/</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: I am not solvable.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I am Turing hard.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">:S</saying>
<me_is who="Zuu">never heard of anything called &#39;turing hard&#39;</me_is>
<saying who="joeyadams">lol.  Zuu&#39;s probabilistic, so maybe he can solve you.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">but i guess i have now</saying>
<saying who="joeyadams">Formal definition of Turing hard:  blah blah blah hard blah blah Turing blah.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">Hahahaha :D</saying>
<saying who="joeyadams">Wikipedia:   Given a set X in P(N), a set A in N is called Turing hard for X if X &lt;=_T A for all X in X. If additionally A is in X, then A is called Turing complete for X.</saying>
<saying who="joeyadams">Does that clarify?</saying>
<saying who="joeyadams">(see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turing_reduction for the actual math symbols)</saying>
<me_is who="joeyadams">assumes you get the point</me_is>
<saying who="Zuu">yeah, i think i&#39;ll have to put significant time into that, for me to comprehend it :)</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">but maybe i will, some day :P</saying>
<saying who="joeyadams">My point is that people like to use mumbo jumbo to describe more concise mumbo jumbo.</saying>
<saying who="joeyadams">E.g. A problem is NP-hard if it is at least as hard as all the problems in NP.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">i undersstand enough of it, to be fairly confident that rindolf being turing hard, will not say much about his ability to be solved</saying>
<saying who="joeyadams">I&#39;m guessing Turing-hard means you can&#39;t solve a problem with a Turing machine (e.g. the halting problem)</saying>
<saying who="joeyadams">(substitute Turing machine with &quot;your computer&quot; :) )</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">no, turing hard has something to do with expressiveness</saying>
<saying who="joeyadams">okay, Zuu &gt; joeyadams, so I can&#39;t help you :)</saying>
<me_is who="Zuu">tickles joeyadams ^^</me_is>
<saying who="joeyadams">A delicious apple is any fruit ∈ apple that is at least as tasty as any other fruit ∈ apple.</saying>
<saying who="joeyadams">In other words, apples are in the set of recursively nommable fruits.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">joeyadams: what&#39;s up?</saying>
<saying who="joeyadams">I&#39;m babbling.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">joeyadams: Apple is one of my least favourite fruits.</saying>
<me_is who="Zuu">watches a number of apples that recursively NOM&#39;s eathother</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">It tends to be too commonplace.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Or simpleton.</saying>
<saying who="joeyadams">whoops, my logic is incorrect</saying>
<saying who="joeyadams">Only delicious apples are ∈ the nommable fruits.</saying>
<saying who="joeyadams">(recursively is just a word you throw in to sound smart)</saying>
<me_is who="Zuu">NOMs joeyadams :&gt;</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">joeyadams: a friend of one of my sisters said that Apple is his favourite fruit.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Ta-zuu!</saying>
<me_is who="joeyadams">has quit (Read error: 104 (Connection nommed by peer))</me_is>
<saying who="Zuu">yeah, unfortunately a lot of people throw with a lot of words to sound smart :/</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">my favourite fruit is a recursive banana!</saying>
<saying who="joeyadams">although it certainly helps to use complex terminology to solve complex problems.  As Aristophanes said, &quot;High thoughts must have high language.&quot;</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">.. along with immutable polymorphic pears</saying>
<saying who="joeyadams">Zuu&gt; I guess you have to peel it indefinitely?</saying>
<saying who="joeyadams">lol</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">Hahah, yeah :P</saying>
<saying who="joeyadams">I tend to eat bananas in deterministic polynomial time.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">i eat them in linear time, but uses exponential space</saying>
<saying who="joeyadams">lol</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Heh.</saying>
<saying who="joeyadams">eww</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Turing Hard</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-programming-the-ultimate-showdown">
        <meta>
            <title>The Ultimate ##programming Showdown</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<joins who="ecere">has joined ##programming</joins>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">yo ecere!!</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">yay, life :)</saying>
<me_is who="Zuu">tickles ljuwaidah</me_is>
<me_is who="ljuwaidah">punches zuu in the face</me_is>
<me_is who="Zuu">starts crying :&#39;(</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">Fight!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Fight! Fight!</saying>
<me_is who="Zuu">runs home to mommy</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">Let&#39;s get ready to rumble!!!</saying>
<me_is who="ljuwaidah">punches rindolf in the face</me_is>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">for encouraging the fight, that is</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">hehe</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">uses his Evil Antlers to summon a squadron of Chuck Norrises. </me_is>
<saying who="Zuu">oh my!</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">unleashes the Chuck Norrises upon ljuwaidah </me_is>
<me_is who="ljuwaidah">uses his anti-chuck-norrise spell</me_is>
<saying who="Zuu">those anterls must be the most evil thing in the entire universe</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">*antlers</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ljuwaidah: your spell only works on one chuck norris at a day.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">And I have 119 more.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Finish him!</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">i wonder what will happen if one Chuck Norris accidently punches another</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">rindolf: then lemme use my duplication spell to make more of myself so THEY can use the spell</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ljuwaidah: heh.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ljuwaidah++</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">thanks :D</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ljuwaidah: two can play this game.</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">runs his recursive copying spell making lots of Evil rindolf reindeers exponentially.</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">Like Bacteria.</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">darn! i didn&#39;t see that coming</saying>
<saying who="ljuwaidah">but you also forgot that if _I_ can duplicate myself then so can my duplicates B-)</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>The Ultimate ##programming Showdown</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-programming-emulating-a-clueless-newbie">
        <meta>
            <title>ispy Emulating a Clueless Newbie</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<joins who="ispy_">has joined ##programming</joins>
<saying who="ispy_">hi gang.</saying>
<saying who="ispy_">I&#39;m a n00b programmer and think I should learn A and B before C, right?</saying>
<saying who="std_orb">ispy_: General understanding should come before that.</saying>
<saying who="ispy_">std_orb: I have no idea what I&#39;m doing...</saying>
<saying who="std_orb">ispy_: I can see that</saying>
<me_is who="ispy_">kicks the dirt...</me_is>
<saying who="tommy_the-dragon">ive been meaning to get into it</saying>
<saying who="ispy_">Is C like JavaScript?</saying>
<saying who="ispy_">Same thing right?</saying>
<saying who="tommy_the-dragon">ispy_: lol</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ispy_: Perl is more like C than JS is.</saying>
<saying who="ispy_">rindolf: Never heard of Perl... I should google that.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ispy_: use Bing search instead.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Or Altavista.</saying>
<saying who="Terminus">rindolf: i see.</saying>
<saying who="ispy_">rindolf, std_orb, tommy_the-dragon ... thanks for the pointers :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ispy_: you should learn Intercal, it&#39;s the most expressive language possible.</saying>
<saying who="ispy_">rindolf: Sounds exciting!</saying>
<saying who="Terminus">intercal... lol!</saying>
<saying who="ispy_">haha</saying>
<saying who="ispy_">ok ok ok... I can&#39;t continue this... I&#39;m practically laughing my ass off at my desk.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">:-)</saying>
<saying who="ispy_">hehe</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Emulating a Clueless Newbie</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-programming-what-kind-of-animal-is-Zuu">
        <meta>
            <title>What kind of animal is Zuu?</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="Zuu">Hai all</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: hai hai.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: what&#39;s up , kit?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: or what are you , I forgot?</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">Hai rindolf :D</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I am a reindeer.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">But also a Llama.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">And a cat.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">I&#39;m a Zuu</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">And a fish naturally.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: ah , OK.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">:D</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">creates a Zoo of Zuus</me_is>
<saying who="Zuu">^^</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Are you the master Zuu?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Like Q is the master of the Q&#39;s in Star Trek?</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">i think im the only Zuu</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Oh, one of a kind.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">Which is kinda sad really :(</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">Who am i supposed to mate with?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Reminds me of http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/Blue-Rabbit-Log/ideas.xhtml</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Though I need to add that part.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Let me do it now.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">whatever webserver you use, it doesnt provide the right mimetype... At least IE 8 dont attempt to render the document</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: you cannot using IE 8</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: you need Firefox.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: it&#39;s application/xml+xhtml</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Or Opera.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">well, it indeed is the right mimetype... stupid IE</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">well, my FF crashed, so i just use IE when that happens</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: ah.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">FF crashed?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">How strange.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Maybe you have a bad plugin.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">It does that around 6 times a day</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Not an extension - a plugin.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Ah, really.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Something is wrong in the Zuuniverse.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Or Zuumputer.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">nah, i suspect one of the tabs are just doing some strange stuff</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">memory leaking javascript ro something like that</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">it is kinda starting to annoy me</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">but with 90 - 120 tabs, it would take quite a while to find out what tab it is</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">you might consider starting your articles, or whatever this is, with an introduction telling what it&#39;s about</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/Blue-Rabbit-Log/ideas.xhtml#the-angry-demon</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: it&#39;s not an article - these are random ideas for a screenplay.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: but I&#39;ll write an intro.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">start the page with &quot;Here are some of my random ideas for a screen play im writing:&quot;</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">at LEAST!</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">you cant just jump right into something without giving _any_ indication ow what the reader can expect</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">it simply doesnt make any sense as it is now</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">you could just as well have posted a log of ljuwidah talking :P</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: thanks.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">:)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/Blue-Rabbit-Log/ideas.xhtml#intro</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Interactive Web!</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">i think you have forgottoen to define the #intro anchor</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: reload.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: it&#39;s there.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">hah, caches... :P</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">:D</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Pesky things.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Evil reindeers don&#39;t like caches.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Neither do cats.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I&#39;m an evil reindeer but a good cat.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">Hehe</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Don&#39;t know how it works.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I guess good and evil are relative.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Or actually I wore a helmet of alignment change.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>What kind of animal is a Zuu?</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-programming-meaning-of-the-Zuu-species">
        <meta>
            <title>Meaning of the Zuu species</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="Zuu">Hi rindolf :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Hi Zuu </saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: I&#39;ve been thinking that maybe you can find some corresponding Zuus of the appropriate sex in a different dimension.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">hmmm... interresting!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: are you a heterosexual Zuu or a homosexual one?</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">Im not sure what sex I am.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: ah.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">:P</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: you can look.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: in the mirror or something.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: don&#39;t you have obligatory genders in Danish/</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Like in German, French, etc.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Or Hebrew and Arabic.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">obligatory genders?</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">you mean, the genders in linguistics?</saying>
<me_is who="Zuu">never understood those</me_is>
<saying who="Zuu">but Danish have two i believe, and if i remember correctly there is female and &#39;none&#39;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: yes, genders in linguistics.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">i dont remember what which is which though :P</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Like in Hebrew &quot;Haben Halakh lagan&quot; - the boy went to the garden. &quot;Habath Halkha lagan&quot; - &quot;The girl went to the garden&quot;</saying>
<saying who="c_sphere">That almost sounds like allah akbar</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">rindolf, no we dont distinct between the genders of the subject in the danish language</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">our nouns have genders though</saying>
<saying who="c_sphere">zuu-nina?</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">like &#39;house&#39; is one gender and &#39;car&#39; is another</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: of course the question is - what language do Zuus speak natively?</saying>
<saying who="c_sphere">rindolf: Of course, Zuu speaks Zuu!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuuish?</saying>
<saying who="c_sphere">The Zulu population also does not speak Zuluish, just Zulu.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">so if you want to say &#39;the house&#39; its &#39;huse_t_&#39; and if you want to say &#39;the car&#39; its &#39;bile_n_&#39;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">c_sphere: Arnavoth (sounds like an Aztec god) is &quot;Hares&quot; (the Rabbit-like mammal) in Hebrew.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: can you understand Swedish?</saying>
<saying who="c_sphere">Aemeth</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">rindolf, some :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: ah.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">swedish branched from danish afaik</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">same with norwegian</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">yes, Zuu&#39;s speak Zuuish nativley :P</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">is listening to Hans Zimmer - Jack Sparrow</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: ah.</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">Zuuish have few words, all of which is based on words about cake from othre languages :P</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">c_sphere, are you by any chance related to s_cube ?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: ah, what do you use the Hebrew word &quot;עוגיה&quot; (= `ugiyah, cookie) for?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;Chocolate chip pie crust marmalade marzipan cookie yum yum!&quot;</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">i use it for cookies baked from a hebrew recipe :P</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">What does it mean in Zuuish?</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">it&#39;s hard to really say something in Zuuish... al you can really do is say something equivalent to &quot;COOKIES!!&quot;</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">or &quot;YAY CAKE!&quot;</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">basically, you can only express excitement over different kinds of cakes :P</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zuu: do Zuus eat anything except cakes or cookies?</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">There was this one time...</saying>
<saying who="Zuu">wait.. no. That was someone else.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>What can a Zuu do?</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-programming-real-programmers">
        <meta>
            <title>##programming about Real Programmers</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="rindolf">Chekov: I disagere with what ESR says in TAOUP that you shouldn&#39;t apply factor optimisations. I think they can make a very large difference.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Chekov: he seems to imply you should wait until computers are fast enough.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Problem is people don&#39;t want to upgrade and if a competing program (maybe a fork ) is much faster, then some of them will switch.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Programs being speedy is one thing that makes me happy.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I love all the work the KDE people did in making KDE-4.6.0 fast.</saying>
<saying who="vanguard">rindolf: awesome blog link!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">And I enjoy the fact that Pidgin is much faster than Kopete (and also less buggy).</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">I&#39;ve used Kopete for far too long.</saying>
<saying who="osoleve">rindolf: switch to Irssi and Bitlbee! :D</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">vanguard: yes.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">vanguard: though they failed on Google Wave.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">osoleve: nah, I like Pidgin.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">osoleve: it&#39;s fast enough for me.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">osoleve: and I also prefer XChat.</saying>
<saying who="osoleve">but is it nerdy enough?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">osoleve: I&#39;m not trying to be a Ubergeek.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">osoleve: real men use Xmonad!</saying>
<saying who="vanguard">Hey, it is not Uber but Über ... :D</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">real programmers use butterflies.</saying>
<saying who="Chekov">real programmers are Tao</saying>
<saying who="osoleve">real programmers flip bits by hand</saying>
<saying who="Chekov">real programmers speak assembly</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Chuck Norris is a real programmer who implements the most optimised machines for solving a problem out of physical atoms.</saying>
<saying who="vanguard">real programmers use a nice editor and a programming language and get done in less than O(N!)</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Real Programmers</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-programming-give-your-friend-a-semicolon">
        <meta>
            <title>Semicolons</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="wes_">tell me how can u print a message without using a semicolon in the printg statement</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">wes_: in C?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">wes_: do you mean the printf(...) statement?</saying>
<saying who="wes_">yes</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">wes_: you cannot without using macros I think.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">wes_: and don&#39;t use macros for that.</saying>
<saying who="wes_">i mean without using a semicolon at the printf statement but you have to use printf only</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">wes_: why would you want to do that?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">wes_: what do you have against semicolons?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Some of my best friends are semicolons.</saying>
<saying who="lulzfish_4">semicolons got me where I am today man</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semicolon</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">lulzfish_4: heh.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;I owe it all to semicolons.&quot;</saying>
<saying who="amigojapan">hey rindolf lulzfish_4</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Hi amigojapan </saying>
<saying who="rindolf">amigojapan: what&#39;s up?</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">gives a semicolon to amigojapan </me_is>
<me_is who="amigojapan">returns a whitespace to rindolf</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">amigojapan: that&#39;s not fair trade.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">But I&#39;ll treasure the whitespace.</saying>
<saying who="amigojapan">rindolf: a whitespace is just as valuable as a semicolon in python :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">amigojapan: aren&#39;t semicolons optional in Py?</saying>
<saying who="amigojapan">rindolf: I think they are</saying>
<saying who="amigojapan">rindolf: actually,  a whitespace can be as valuable as 2 curly braces :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">amigojapan: heh.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">amigojapan: you need 4 spaces to distinguish stuff properly.</saying>
<saying who="amigojapan">rindolf: one thing I never got about python is why they need the : after if and for statements....</saying>
<me_is who="PythonSnake">gives a colon to rindolf</me_is>
<saying who="PythonSnake">:)</saying>
<saying who="amigojapan">rindolf: actually, I preffer using tabs to 4 spacess...</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">PythonSnake: thanks for the colon.</saying>
<saying who="PythonSnake">rindolf: lol</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">PythonSnake: I&#39;ll give you a « and a » in exchange.</saying>
<saying who="PythonSnake">lol</saying>
<saying who="amigojapan">rindolf: the fact that you dont have a rule to how much white space you must use to indent in python, I think is a bad thing...</saying>
<me_is who="PythonSnake">finds a interrobang</me_is>
<saying who="PythonSnake">:)</saying>
<saying who="amigojapan">rindolf: if it is 4 spaces then fine, but make it a rule so it is consistent</saying>
<saying who="GeDaMo"></saying>
<saying who="PythonSnake">lol</saying>
<saying who="PythonSnake"></saying>
<saying who="PythonSnake"></saying>
<saying who="PythonSnake">‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">¿</saying>
<saying who="PythonSnake">₳ ฿ ₵ ¢ ₡ ₢ ₠ $ ₫ ৳ ₯ € ƒ ₣ ₲ ₴ ₭ ℳ ₥ ₦ ₧ ₱ ₰</saying>
<saying who="PythonSnake">:)</saying>
<saying who="amigojapan">rindolf: oh, now you are speaking spanish</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">amigojapan: :-)</saying>
<saying who="PythonSnake">all: :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">¡I am!</saying>
<saying who="amigojapan">うるさいよ 文字化け</saying>
<saying who="PythonSnake">Jag förvrängd bullriga</saying>
<saying who="PythonSnake">איך גאַרבאַלד טומלדיק</saying>
<saying who="PythonSnake">:)</saying>
<saying who="amigojapan">ah, hebrew</saying>
<saying who="amigojapan">hir   something....</saying>
<saying who="PythonSnake">º, ª</saying>
<saying who="amigojapan">man, I forgot how to read hebrew</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">amigojapan: איך גאַרבאַלד טומלדיק seems like Yiddish.</saying>
<saying who="amigojapan">rindolf: ah, ok....  can you change it into roman letters for me?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">amigojapan: Ich Garbald Tomldiq.</saying>
<saying who="amigojapan">ich would be I</saying>
<saying who="amigojapan">I think I only know curse words in yuddish :P</saying>
<saying who="PythonSnake">ich bin masaru</saying>
<saying who="lulzfish_4">ich bin ein berlinner</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">is eating watermelon.</me_is>
<saying who="amigojapan">rindolf: save a piece for me :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">amigojapan: I&#39;ll save a semicolon for you.</saying>
<saying who="PiX3L">rindolf: For me too. :)</saying>
<saying who="amigojapan">rindolf: a semicolon looks alot like twso pits of a watermellon</saying>
<me_is who="amigojapan">steals PiX3L &#39;s piece</me_is>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Give Your Friend a Semicolon Today</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-programming-calculator">
        <meta>
            <title>Calculator</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="Endiannes">vinleod, Yes, he wants to find a solution which yields a point 10 units away, your solution yields a point, exactly 7.66044 units away</saying>
<saying who="Endiannes">vinleod, Oh wait</saying>
<saying who="Endiannes">vinleod, I&#39;m an idiot, didnt factor out cos</saying>
<saying who="Endiannes">vinleod, Yes you&#39;re right.</saying>
<me_is who="Endiannes">kicks calculator</me_is>
<saying who="vinleod">hehe, I was in the process of writing a python script to prove it.</saying>
<me_is who="speedrunnerG55">picks up Endianness calculator</me_is>
<saying who="speedrunnerG55">NEVER KICK YOUR CALCULATOR</saying>
<saying who="CryWolf">Kicking your calculator is a sin</saying>
<saying who="Endiannes">At least its not a cos.</saying>
<saying who="vinleod">but you should at least get a tan</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Heh.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Calculator</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-programming-die">
        <meta>
            <title>The Universal Die</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="monsterwizard">Ok so I know javascript, php, perl in some detail. However, I want to become good at one. I was thinking Perl?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">monsterwizard: roll a die.</saying>
<saying who="monsterwizard">rindolf the die showed a 7 :S</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">monsterwizard: heh.</saying>
<saying who="hmm">lol</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">monsterwizard: strange die.</saying>
<saying who="hmm">throw away the die</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">throws the die at hmm</me_is>
<me_is who="hmm">catches</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">die, die, die!</saying>
<me_is who="hmm">wants to live</me_is>
<saying who="rindolf">hmm: but the die wants to die.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Take it out of its misery.</saying>
<saying who="hmm">who knows, even the die isn&#39;t ready to die</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">hmm: dice should be diced.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dice on ice.</saying>
<saying who="hmm">yeah, go dice the dice</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>The Universal Die</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-programming-i-wanna-be-a-hacker">
        <meta>
            <title>I Wannt Be a Hacker</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<me_is who="hackerhackingcan">(~hackingca@117.202.19.189) has joined ##programming</me_is>
<saying who="hackerhackingcan">Hi friends</saying>
<saying who="hackerhackingcan">I am also new to hacking</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">hackerhackingcan: hi.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">hackerhackingcan: I hope you mean software development - not computer intrusion.</saying>
<saying who="hackerhackingcan">what means intrusion?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">hackerhackingcan: it means breaking into other people&#39;s systems.</saying>
<saying who="hackerhackingcan">I want to hack the internet websites like google and facebook</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">hackerhackingcan: hack?</saying>
<saying who="hackerhackingcan">can you help please?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">hackerhackingcan: hack into?</saying>
<saying who="hackerhackingcan">yes I am new but I will try and learn</saying>
<saying who="hackerhackingcan">but can you help me rindolf?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">hackerhackingcan: we won&#39;t help you break into systems.</saying>
<saying who="pkkm">wut? hack into google?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">hackerhackingcan: with what?</saying>
<saying who="hackerhackingcan">hack into facebook google and internet</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">hackerhackingcan: we build systems - not break them.</saying>
<saying who="hackerhackingcan">please?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">hackerhackingcan: http://catb.org/~esr/writings/unix-koans/script-kiddie.html</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">hackerhackingcan: if you want to learn how to program, we can help you.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">hackerhackingcan: but trying to break into computer systems will only get you in trouble.</saying>
<saying who="hackerhackingcan">I can do programming in html</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">hackerhackingcan: HTML is not a programming language.</saying>
<saying who="hackerhackingcan">is that enough for hacking?</saying>
<saying who="vinleod">hackerhackingcan: There&#39;s no such things as programming in HTML.</saying>
<saying who="hackerhackingcan">I can also do hacks in cmd</saying>
<saying who="vinleod">Ah, a script kiddie.</saying>
<saying who="hackerhackingcan">what you mean by scrpt kiddie?</saying>
<saying who="hackerhackingcan">ok now I know</saying>
<saying who="hackerhackingcan">you all dont want other people to know about hacking</saying>
<saying who="hackerhackingcan">so you say like this</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">hackerhackingcan: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Script_kiddie</saying>
<saying who="hackerhackingcan">so you abused me by calling me script kiddie?</saying>
<saying who="hackerhackingcan">When I become a good hacker I will hack you also</saying>
<saying who="vinleod">hackerhackingcan: Good luck with that. bye bye.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">hackerhackingcan: OK, you have been warned.</saying>
<saying who="hackerhackingcan">why warn?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">hackerhackingcan: try hacking into the IP address 127.0.0.1</saying>
<saying who="vinleod">hackerhackingcan: I bet you can&#39;t log into that computer and delete all of its files.</saying>
<saying who="luke_c">hackerhackingscan: After that, try to DDOS 192.168.1.1</saying>
<saying who="hackerhackingcan">is 127.0.0.1 your ip?</saying>
<saying who="Ethelim">why&#39;d you give him my iP ffs?</saying>
<saying who="Ethelim">don&#39;t try it, you wouldn&#39;t get in anyway. I have it locked down tightly</saying>
<saying who="vinleod">hackerhackingcan: So, here&#39;s the situation. We don&#39;t condone illegal activity. We don&#39;t suggest that people attempt illegal activity. We don&#39;t like people who do illegal activity. We a programmers. We like to write programs. We like to solve interesting problems. We like to solve interesting puzzles.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">hackerhackingcan: if you haven&#39;t noticed,  I&#39;ve become op.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">hackerhackingcan: and I can /kick you and /kickban you.</saying>
<saying who="vinleod">hackerhackingcan: Now, if you&#39;d like be a good, productive member of society and learn to program, we can help with that, but we won&#39;t spoon feed you either.</saying>
<saying who="hackerhackingcan">hahah whose is this ip 192.168.1.1? Your password is admin haha</saying>
<saying who="Ethelim">is he for real?</saying>
<saying who="vinleod">Ethelim: I doubt it.</saying>
<saying who="hackerhackingcan">192.168.1.1 I am changing your password then call me kid</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Ethelim: he seems like a bad troll.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">But an amusing one.</saying>
<saying who="jrslepak">rindolf: depends on how many times you&#39;ve heard the joke in the recent past</saying>
<saying who="Ethelim">dude, you wouldn&#39;t get in there. And even if you did all you&#39;d be able to do is reset the guy&#39;s connection</saying>
<saying who="hackerhackingcan">I will reset it</saying>
<me_is who="Ethelim">waits for &quot;someone&#39;s&quot; closed connection</me_is>
<saying who="mst">&quot;Quit: Leaving&quot;</saying>
<saying who="vinleod">I saw that coming a mile away/</saying>
<saying who="JabbaWokiee">lol</saying>
<saying who="mst">not an actual fell-off-the-internet</saying>
<saying who="mst">reasonable exit though</saying>
<saying who="mst">oh, and now he&#39;s back with a new nick</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>From HTML to Hacking Google in Ten Easy Steps</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-programming-dev-null-is-webscale">
        <meta>
            <title>/dev/null is webscale.</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="oilio">so what the point of hashes, can&#39;t we just use void pointers to key/val ?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">oilio: hashes as in hash tables?</saying>
<saying who="oilio">yes</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">oilio: OK.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">oilio: they are one way to efficiently implement the dictionary Abstract Data Type (ADT).</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">oilio: a hash table can store more than one key , value pair.</saying>
<saying who="oilio">yeah, I read about it in the wikipedia</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">oilio: and you can lookup a value based on a key efficiently.</saying>
<saying who="arubin">Linear search is good enough for everyone.</saying>
<saying who="oilio">indolf: what if the hole table wont fit in the memory?</saying>
<saying who="oilio">RAM</saying>
<saying who="arubin">Swap.</saying>
<saying who="arubin">Amazon S3.</saying>
<saying who="imlearningyacc">well if no ram and no swap no allocation</saying>
<saying who="arubin">We have the whole Internet for our tables.</saying>
<saying who="imlearningyacc">well</saying>
<saying who="diminoten">ask reddit how that worked out</saying>
<saying who="arubin">And remember, /dev/null is web-scale.</saying>
<saying who="imlearningyacc">yea, I store all my data in /dev/null</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">oilio: then you&#39;ll need to use a more sophisticated (and slower) data structure that can offload to disk.</saying>
<saying who="arubin">It is really fast.</saying>
<saying who="arubin">I use the Boost libraries for /dev/null too.</saying>
<saying who="arubin">And I use async writes to /dev/null.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">arubin: heh.</saying>
<saying who="diminoten">don&#39;t want to get into resource contention when using /dev/null</saying>
<me_is who="rindolf">uses /dev/null for backups.</me_is>
<saying who="diminoten">only so much null to go around</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>/dev/null - the ultra-fast solution for all your storage needs.</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-programming-iSomething">
        <meta>
            <title>iSomething</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="jparkton">and ya know. I bet if one distro popped an i in front like iUbunt, iFedora or some jazz about 300 million people would shell out astronomical amounts of money just to have one before anyone else</saying>
<saying who="WinNY">Macs are evil.</saying>
<saying who="impulse9">iCry</saying>
<saying who="jercos">iDerp</saying>
<saying who="jparkton">iFail</saying>
<saying who="jparkton">iStone</saying>
<saying who="impulse9">iQuack</saying>
<saying who="jparkton">iFap</saying>
<saying who="Jeaye">ifap.cum</saying>
<saying who="jparkton">iClean</saying>
<saying who="jparkton">iBarf</saying>
<saying who="jparkton">iReturn</saying>
<saying who="impulse9">iI</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jparkton: this reminds me of http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/fortunes/show.cgi?id=sharp-perl-paid-version-of-cpan .</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">iCanHazCheezburger.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">iSuck.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">iAmSpartacus.</saying>
<saying who="impulse9">iAmYourFather</saying>
<saying who="jparkton">prolly some new iFag rage</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">iAmLame</saying>
<saying who="impulse9">iBlame</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>iSuckLessThanJ</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-programming-bad-names-for-programs">
        <meta>
            <title>Bad Names for Programs</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="rindolf">marzy: Emacs is not a better vim. They are very different.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">marzy: I could never get used to Emacs, but have used Vim for many years.</saying>
<saying who="marzy">rindolf Emacs + Evil mode makes a better vim</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">marzy: does it support all Vim extensions?</saying>
<saying who="marzy">no, that&#39;s why its better. it doesn&#39;t come with retarded scripting language!!</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">marzy: well, it&#39;s still not 100% compatible with vim.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">marzy: and Evil is an awful name. Sorry.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">&quot;The only thing more evil than XSLT is XSLT edited with Emacs Evil mode.&quot; ;-)</saying>
<saying who="marzy">i think it&#39;s a good name considering emacs and vi(m) rivalry</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">marzy: of course, I&#39;ve heard worse - coq and coccinelle.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">And then there&#39;s this guy here who called his programming language Flua which reminds me of Flu and Influenza.</saying>
<saying who="Reactionary">rindolf: lol</saying>
<saying who="dardevelin">rindolf, flua IDE is not that bad to be fair (at least the little i tried )</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dardevelin: didn&#39;t say *it* was bad - I said the name was bad.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dardevelin: and I could never get it running here. Problems with Py3 and PyQt.</saying>
<saying who="dardevelin">rindolf, oh that sucks... :/</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">dardevelin: yes.</saying>
<saying who="dardevelin">rindolf, yeah i know you didn&#39;t said it was bad, just as gave you my opinion on it as a side note. sorry i should have made it more explicit :)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Of course, Evil is not as bad a name as SLIME, which is another Emacs mode.</saying>
<saying who="dardevelin">rindolf, i had troubles with SLIME once and boy i got tired of fighting with it</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Reportedly it was also the nickname of an internal Microsoft version control system called SLM (that is now largely discontinued).</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>A rose by any other name</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-programming-selling-source-code">
        <meta>
            <title>Selling Open Source Source Code</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="codescience">just stumbled across another question. is there an open-source license that prevent anyone from making money off my code?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">codescience: no there isn&#39;t.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">codescience: it stands against the open source definition.</saying>
<saying who="ssta">codescience: that would violate the spirit of what most people understand &quot;open source&quot; to mean</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">codescience: people can sell copies of open source software or services related to it.</saying>
<saying who="codescience">hmmm, i understand</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">codescience: see http://www.gnu.org/philosophy/selling.html</saying>
<saying who="ssta">I can legally sell you this copy of the linux kernel...I can charge whaqtever you are willing to pay.  Nothing in the license prevents this</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ssta: will you sell it to me for 5,000 USD?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">;-)</saying>
<saying who="ssta">rindolf: sure</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ssta: how about for 3,000 USD?</saying>
<saying who="ssta">rindolf: tell you what, for $10,000 I&#39;ll throw in a free copy of FreeBSD</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ssta: wow, sounds like a good deal.</saying>
<saying who="ssta">rindolf: hmm, 3000 is a bit low, I don&#39;t think I could go that cheap</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ssta: heh.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ssta: how much are you selling the source code of Apache 2.4 for?</saying>
<saying who="ssta">rindolf: oh, you can have that for free</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ssta: really?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Sucker!</saying>
<saying who="ssta">rindolf: sure...but the build scripts you have to pay for</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ssta: OK.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ssta: would you be willing to exchange the source of the Linux kernel for three copies of jQuery? I will even throw in a few free Dojo plugins.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ssta: he already told us.</saying>
<saying who="ssta">rindolf: hmm, not sure I want jQuery</saying>
<saying who="ssta">rindolf: would you happen to have code for a halfway decent RDBMS?  I think I could swap for that</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ssta: I have the source code for MySQL. Not sure if it&#39;s half-decent.</saying>
<saying who="codescience">i run a mysql server. runs good enough for me</saying>
<saying who="ssta">rindolf: I use MySQL in production quite a lot.  It has its flaws, but my use cases never seem to hit them</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ssta: OK.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ssta: so will you exchanges its source code for the Linux kernel?</saying>
<saying who="ssta">rindolf: sure</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ssta: sounds good.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ssta: you can find the source code of MySQL here - http://www.mysql.com/</saying>
<saying who="ssta">rindolf: you can get the linux source from kernel.org</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">ssta: thanks.</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Premium price for free (in either meaning) software.</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-programming-gcc-warning-flags">
        <meta>
            <title>gcc warning flags</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="doomrobo">rindolf, I got redirected to your gcc important flags page today and I think you may be missing a few things</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">doomrobo: do you mean the one in the talk?</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">doomrobo: which page are you referring to?</saying>
<saying who="doomrobo">rindolf, lemme see</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">http://www.shlomifish.org/lecture/W2L/Development/slides/gcc/flags.html  - heh, first Google hit for &quot;gcc important flags&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">At least for me.</saying>
<saying who="doomrobo">yeah</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">doomrobo: OK, I did not originate that page originally.</saying>
<saying who="doomrobo">ok</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">doomrobo: and it served a certain purpose as material for slides to the Haifa Linux Club&#39;s Welcome to Linux series.</saying>
<saying who="doomrobo">nice</saying>
<me_is who="jrslepak">always found it funny that -Wall doesn&#39;t turn on all of the warnings</me_is>
<saying who="jrslepak">. o O ( gcc -Wno-really-I-mean-all ... )</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">-Wevery-warning-under-the-sun-and-then-some</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">-W42</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">-Wchuck-norris</saying>
<saying who="doomrobo">-Wextra</saying>
<saying who="doomrobo">-whipped-cream</saying>
<saying who="jrslepak">and of course -WTF</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">jrslepak: :-)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">-Worse</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">-Worse-is-better</saying>
<saying who="jrslepak">-Wat</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">-Whoops</saying>
<saying who="doomrobo">-S -Illy -Wabbit</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Heh.</saying>
<saying who="jrslepak">-Wascally-wabbit</saying>
<saying who="jrslepak">(which really needs to be the name of a future Ubuntu release)</saying>
<saying who="doomrobo">people reading this are probably just shaking their heads</saying>
<saying who="jrslepak">hey, at least it&#39;s not -fallow-undecidable-instances ¬_¬</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>gcc -Whatever</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-programming-ultra-compression">
        <meta>
            <title>Ultra Compression</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="tnzr">does anyone happen to know what std::allocator.allocate() does when you try to allocate 0 bytes?  I get a pointer back but I can&#39;t tell what it&#39;s pointing at and I can&#39;t seem to find anything on the web that gives a difinitive answer</saying>
<saying who="GeDaMo">Why are you allocating zero bytes?</saying>
<saying who="Billiard">tnzr: the same thing it always returns</saying>
<saying who="tnzr">GeDaMo: we are implementing our own allocator for an assignment, and when asked what we should do if the user tries to allocate 0 bytes, the prof said to find out what std::allocator does and mimic that</saying>
<saying who="GeDaMo">http://stackoverflow.com/questions/6065814/standard-compliant-custom-allocator</saying>
<saying who="tnzr">oh snap, thanks GeDaMo</saying>
<saying who="GeDaMo">:)</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">GeDaMo: zero bytes are enough to hold the Complete Works of Shakespeare.</saying>
<saying who="GeDaMo">Depends on how many monkeys you have to decompress it :P</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">GeDaMo: heh.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Of course, I defined a custom decompressor that emits the complete works of Shakespeare on empty input and uses gzip compression otherwise.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">It&#39;s pretty large  though.</saying>
<saying who="Billiard">redeemed: compress the decompressor using the same algo</saying>
<saying who="Billiard">errr rindolf</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Billiard: OK.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Billiard: heh.</saying>
<saying who="Billiard">0 bytes = a decompressor for the entire works of shakespeare</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Shakespeare, compressed</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-programming-ruby-tuesday">
        <meta>
            <title>Ruby Tuesday</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="rindolf">Hi all.</saying>
<saying who="vandos">hi</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Hello Ruby Tuesday.</saying>
<saying who="famously">goodbye ruby tuesday</saying>
<saying who="famously">hello emerald thursdays!</saying>
<saying who="famously">now i have to choose a precious stone for each day of the week, thanks</saying>
<saying who="famously">this is going to take half the night</saying>
<saying who="Textmode">sapphire Sundays</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Pearl Mondays.</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Diamond Saturdays.</saying>
<saying who="famously">YES!</saying>
<saying who="famously">diamond saturday definitely</saying>
<saying who="famously">i thought the same thing</saying>
<saying who="famously">i guess there&#39;s already a gemstone for every month, so this would be seen as kind of a ripoff</saying>
<saying who="famously">maybe a metal for every day</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Sunny Diamonds</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
    <fortune id="sharp-sharp-programming-mac-server">
        <meta>
            <title>Mac Server</title>
        </meta>
        <irc>
            <body>
<saying who="Zepo">Either our mac server is sending out little electroshocks through his cage and into my foot or he is just vibrating really strange...</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zepo: a mac server?</saying>
<saying who="Zepo">rindolf: jeh, we have a macserver running a vm with a ubuntu server</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zepo: hmm... interesting.</saying>
<saying who="Zepo">rindolf: Most people react like &quot;what the...?!&quot;</saying>
<saying who="rindolf">Zepo: next you&#39;ll tell me that you have an HP/UX Desktop.</saying>
<saying who="Zepo">rindolf: I am not that crazy, my chef made this...thing...</saying>
            </body>
            <info>
                <channel>##programming</channel>
                <network>Freenode</network>
                <tagline>Using the right tool for the job</tagline>
            </info>
        </irc>
    </fortune>
</list>
</collection>
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