Source

shlomi-fish-homepage / t2 / humour / fortunes / shlomif-factoids.xml

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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<?xml-stylesheet type="text/xml" href="fortune-xml-to-html.xsl"?>
<collection>
  <head/>
  <list>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-1">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #1</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris wrote a complete Perl 6 implementation in a day,
                      but then destroyed all evidence with his bare hands, so
                      no-one will know his secrets.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-2">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #2</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                    Chuck Norris refactors 10 million lines of Perl code
                    before lunch.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-3">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #3</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris is his own boss. If you hire him, he'll
                      tell your boss what to do.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-4">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #4</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                    Chuck Norris read the entire English Wikipedia in 24
                    hours. Twice.
                  </p>
                  <p>
                      ( Actually, he wrote it in 24 hours. Twice. The first
                      time longhand in blood. The second time he typed it in
                      from memory (by <b>Drew Roberts</b>). )
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-5">
          <meta>
              <title>Kattana's Chuck Norris Fact #5</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris does not code; when he sits at a computer,
                      it just does whatever he wants. (By: <b>Kattana</b>.)
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Kattana</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-6">
          <meta>
              <title>Daxim's Chuck Norris Fact #6</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris commits with a roundhouse kick into the
                      SVN server's head.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Daxim</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-7">
          <meta>
              <title>Su-Shee's Chuck Norris Fact #7</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes. (Su-Shee)
                  </p>
                  <p>
                      He corrects God. (Shlomi Fish)
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Su-Shee and Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-8">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #8</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris is the ghost author of the entire Debian
                      GNU/Linux distribution. And he wrote it in 24 hours,
                      while taking snack breaks.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-9">
          <meta>
              <title>Araujo's Chuck Norris Fact #9</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                        Chuck Norris doesn't commit changes, the changes
                        commit for him.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Araujo</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-10">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #10</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Bugs are too afraid to reproduce on Chuck Norris'
                      computer. As a result, when he uses Microsoft Windows,
                      it behaves just like a Linux system.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-11">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #11</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris is a real programmer. He writes programs by
                      implementing the most optimised machines for them using
                      real atoms.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-12">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #12</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Deletionists delete Wikipedia articles that they consider
                      lame.
                  </p>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris deletes Deletionists whom he considers lame.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-13">
          <meta>
              <title>joeyadams's Chuck Norris Fact #13</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      There are no deletionists. Only Wikipedia articles Chuck
                      Norris allows to live. (By: <b>joeyadams</b>)
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>joeyadams</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-14">
          <meta>
              <title>joeyadams's Chuck Norris Fact #14</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Wikipedia deletionists don't delete lame Wikipedia
                      articles. Chuck Norris deletes lame Wikipedia articles.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-15">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #15</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      No one knows all of Perl - not even Larry Wall. Except
                      Chuck Norris, who knows all of Perl 5, Perl 6 and can
                      answer questions about the design of Perl 7.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-16">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #16</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                    Chuck Norris reads all messages posted to LKML (= the
                    Linux Kernel Mailing List), understands them all, and he
                    kills all gnomes he sees in sight.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-17">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #17</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      When Chuck Norris uses Gentoo, "emerge kde" finishes in
                      under a minute. A computer cannot afford to keep Chuck
                      waiting for too long.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-18">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #18</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                    Chuck Norris is the greatest man in history. He killed all
                    the great men who could ever pose a competition.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-19">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #19</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      "My only boss is God. And Chuck Norris who is his
                      boss."
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-20">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #20</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris can make the statement "This statement is
                      false." a true one.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-21">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #21</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris can end world hunger, but he thinks that
                      hungry people make humanity a more challenging adversary.
                      If everyone had enough to eat, it would be too easy for
                      him.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-22">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #22</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris can read Perl code that was RSA encrypted.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-23">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #23</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris once wrote a 10 million lines C++ program in
                      Microsoft Notepad without having to use the backspace
                      key. And it compiled without errors or warnings, and was
                      100% bug-free.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-24">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #24</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      If the mountain will not come to Muhammad, then Muhammad
                      will go to the mountain. If the mountain will not come to
                      Chuck Norris, then the mountain will suffer Norris’s
                      wrath for not complying with his whims.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-25">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #25</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris has 0 messages in his E-mail inbox.
                      Including already read ones.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-26">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #26</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris was never a newbie! He will kill anyone who
                      implies otherwise. In a very not newbie-like manner.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-27">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #27</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Only perl and Chuck Norris can parse Perl.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-28">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #28</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      All Chuck Norris has to do is *look* at Perl code and it
                      interprets itself out of fear and respect.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>DrForr</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-29">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #29</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris taught God how to create the universe.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-30">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #30</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris is the reason why the Knights who until
                      Recently Said “Ni”, are no longer saying “Ni”.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-31">
          <meta>
              <title>Dov and Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #31</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris is not afraid of superstitions.
                      Superstitions are afraid of Chuck Norris.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Dov and Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-32">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #32</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris <b>does</b> expect the Spanish
                      Inquisition.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-33">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #33</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      The Spanish Inquisition does not expect Chuck Norris.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-34">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #34</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      A wood chuck can’t chuck wood. Chuck Norris can chuck
                      wood chucks.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-35">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #35</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      If Chuck Norris asks you “What's up?” and you answer it
                      literally, then he will club you senseless with all the
                      volumes of the Oxford English Dictionary, and all the
                      servers hosting en.wiktionary.org, to teach you a lesson.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-36">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #36</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris helps the gods that help themselves.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-37">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #37</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      If Chuck Norris had been born before World War II, there
                      would have been only one world war. However, there would
                      have been three largescale Chuck Norris masacares of
                      Nazis and Communists.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-38">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #38</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      If the mountain does not come to Muhammad, then Chuck
                      Norris will bring the mountain over.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-39">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #39</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      An apple a day will keep Chuck Norris away. But not for
                      long.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-40">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #40</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Reality to be conquered must be obeyed. You’d better obey
                      Chuck Norris or he’ll conquer you.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-41">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #41</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris had a problem so he decided to use regular
                      expressions. Now, all the World’s problems are solved.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-42">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #42</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      A is A and A is not not-A — unless Chuck Norris says so.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-43">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #43</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris can make East and West meet.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-44">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #44</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      When Chuck Norris orders Pizza, it arrives before he
                      presses the OK button.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-45">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #45</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris does not need to heat up food. The food is
                      already warm right after he took it out of the fridge.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-46">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #46</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck’s idea of a short walk is to the <a
                          href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andromeda_Galaxy">Andromeda
                          Galaxy</a> and back.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-47">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #47</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris hasn't taken these facts down
                      yet, so they must be true.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Cantide</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-48">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #48</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      For every A, Chuck Norris is both A and
                      not-A. Chuck Norris is fucking everything.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-49">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #49</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Tomorrow never dies, unless Chuck Norris volunteers to
                      take it out of its misery
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-50">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #50</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      God created the world in 6 days and rested on the 7th.
                      Chuck Norris created the world in one day, and has been
                      incrementally destroying it every day since, without
                      rest.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-51">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #51</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris is always right. Even if he says that “A
                      is not-A”, he would be right, because Logic is
                      subject to his whims.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-52">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #52</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris does not own a dishwasher. His dishes know
                      better than to become dirty.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-53">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #53</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      The Angel of Death cannot keep up with Chuck Norris’s
                      throughput of killing.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-54">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #54</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Computers are useless because they can only give you
                      answers. Chuck Norris is not useless, because he knows the
                      questions which these answers belong to.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-55">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #55</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris is
                      <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vito_Corleone">Vito
                          Corleone</a>’s godfather.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>ZadYree</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-56">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #56</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris will kill everyone who has not read these
                      factoids. Slowly and painfully.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-57">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #57</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris could have built the Roman Empire in a day.
                      And it would have taken him even less time to destroy
                      it.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-58">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #58</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris once counted all the real numbers on his
                      fingers.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>ZadYree</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-59">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #59</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Only two things are infinite: the universe, and Chuck
                      Norris’s destruction ability. And we cannot be sure about
                      the former thanks to the latter.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-60">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #60</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris knows who John Galt is.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-61">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #61</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris won the Nobel Peace Prize. For making
                      millions of people rest in peace.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-62">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #62</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      When Chuck Norris uses git, he takes a coffee break after
                      initiating every git commit. And then he waits for the
                      commit to finish.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-63">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #63</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      God is Chuck Norris, for extremely large values of God.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-64">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #64</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris can become root on OpenBSD. By using nothing
                      but /bin/echo.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>ZadYree and Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-soviet-russia-1">
          <meta>
              <title>In Soviet Russia #1</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      In Soviet Russia, superstition believes in you.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Sawyer X</author>
                  <work href="http://mail.perl.org.il/pipermail/perl/2012-September/012757.html">Post
                      to the Israeli Perl Mongers List</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-soviet-russia-2">
          <meta>
              <title>In Soviet Russia #2</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      In Soviet Russia, cats own you. No, wait! Cats own you
                      everywhere.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/In-Soviet-Russia/">“In
                      Soviet Russia” Factoids</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-soviet-russia-3">
          <meta>
              <title>In Soviet Russia #3</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      In Soviet Russia, joke is tired of you.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>apeiron</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/In-Soviet-Russia/">“In
                      Soviet Russia” Factoids</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-soviet-russia-4">
          <meta>
              <title>In Soviet Russia #4</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      In Soviet Russia, food tastes YOU!
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Leuthihi</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/In-Soviet-Russia/">“In
                      Soviet Russia” Factoids</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-soviet-russia-5">
          <meta>
              <title>In Soviet Russia #5</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      In Soviet Russia, government is afraid of you!
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/In-Soviet-Russia/">“In
                      Soviet Russia” Factoids</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-soviet-russia-6">
          <meta>
              <title>In Soviet Russia #6</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      In Soviet Russia, meme uses You!
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Volis</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/In-Soviet-Russia/">“In
                      Soviet Russia” Factoids</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-soviet-russia-7">
          <meta>
              <title>In Soviet Russia #7</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      In Soviet Russia, garbage collects you.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>mucker</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/In-Soviet-Russia/">“In
                      Soviet Russia” Factoids</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-buffy-1">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Buffy Facts #1</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Buffy will always find a wooden stake to slay vampires,
                      even if it means she will have travelled 100 years back
                      in time, to plant a tree nearby.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Buffy/">Buffy Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-buffy-2">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Buffy Facts #2</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Buffy Summers does not really need stakes to slay
                      vampires, because her kisses are deadly for them. And
                      that includes those that she blows in the air.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Buffy/">Buffy Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-buffy-3">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Buffy Facts #3</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      The Chuck Norris of the Buffyverse, has been secretly
                      training under Buffy’s supervision, and so far — lost
                      every battle with her.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Buffy/">Buffy Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-buffy-4">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Buffy Facts #4</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Buffy is so hot, that you would totally love to fight
                      her. And lose.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Dan Dascalescu</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Buffy/">Buffy Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-buffy-5">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Buffy Facts #5</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Buffy Summers is not afraid of demons. Demons are afraid
                      of her. And for a very good reason.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Dov Levenglick and Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Buffy/">Buffy Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-buffy-6">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Buffy Facts #6</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Medusa’s gaze can turn people into stone. Buffy’s gaze
                      can turn Medusa into stone.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Buffy/">Buffy Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-clarissa-1">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Clarissa Darling Facts #1</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Clarissa Darling can start from “I think therefore I am”
                      and prove that the grass is green, that there are about
                      365 days in a year, and that Isaac Newton formulated the
                      Law of Gravitation back in 1687.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Clarissa/">Clarissa Darling Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-clarissa-2">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Clarissa Darling Facts #2</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Gödel’s Incompleteness Theorem is about to be replaced by
                      the [Clarissa] Darling “Like, Totally!” Completeness
                      Theorem.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Clarissa/">Clarissa Darling Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-clarissa-3">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s Clarissa Darling Facts #3</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Clarissa Darling will win over Chuck Norris in a battle
                      of wits.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Clarissa/">Clarissa Darling Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-larry-wall-facts">
          <meta>
              <title>Larry Wall Facts</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <ul>
                      <li>Larry Wall can understand the Perl code he wrote last
                          year.</li>
                      <li>Larry Wall gets the colon.</li>
                      <li>There are at least 137 Larry Walls in the U.S. but only
                          one that matters.</li>
                      <li>Larry Wall applies a patch
                          manually quicker than GNU patch.</li>
                      <li>Larry Wall
                          dreams in Perl.</li>
                      <li>Larry Wall can program in his
                          sleep.</li>
                      <li>Larry Wall is lazy, impatient and full
                          of hubris.</li>
                      <li>Larry Wall has more dollars in the
                          bank than in his Perl code.</li>
                  </ul>
                  <p>-- Larry Wall facts by Shlomi Fish</p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Larry-Wall/">Shlomif Fish’s "Larry Wall Facts"</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-larry-wall-facts-2">
          <meta>
              <title>Larry Wall Facts No. 2</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <ul>
                      <li>
Larry Wall <b>does</b> know all of Perl. However, he pretends to be wrong
or misinformed, so people will think he's not as awesome as he really is.
</li>
<li>
Larry Wall's pure-Perl code is faster than Assembly.
</li>
<li>
Larry Wall has been changing the world. By modifying its very source code.
</li>
                  </ul>
                  <p>-- Larry Wall facts by Shlomi Fish</p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Larry-Wall/">Shlomif Fish’s "Larry Wall Facts"</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-larry-wall-facts-3">
          <meta>
              <title>Larry Wall Facts No. 3</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <ul>
                      <li>
                          Larry Wall can make shit up, and the computer will
                          understand what he means.
                      </li>
                  </ul>
                  <p>-- Larry Wall facts by Shlomi Fish</p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Larry-Wall/">Shlomif Fish’s “Larry Wall Facts”</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-nsa-1">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s NSA Facts #1</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      The NSA don’t publish. They perish.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/">NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-nsa-2">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s NSA Facts #2</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      The NSA employs the largest number of mathematicians with
                      Ph.Ds. And the most stupid and incompetent ones.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/">NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-nsa-3">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s NSA Facts #3</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      The NSA has a patent for an efficient process for
                      collecting a lot of information and doing nothing with
                      it.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/">NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-nsa-4">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s NSA Facts #4</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      The Bajoran scholars have positively identified Benjamin
                      Sisko as The Emissary. They also positively identified
                      the NSA headquarters as The Dungeon.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/">NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-nsa-5">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s NSA Facts #5</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      One of <i>Buffy the Vampire Slayer</i>’s episodes took
                      place in the NSA headquarters, but had to be destroyed,
                      because all of the test audience had uncontrollable panic
                      attacks.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/">NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-nsa-6">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s NSA Facts #6</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      The NSA knows what you did last summer. But no one, in
                      the NSA or outside it, knows why they should.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/">NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-nsa-7">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s NSA Facts #7</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      With the NSA’s budget you would expect evil to be extinct
                      by now. (By Kika).
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/">NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-nsa-8">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s NSA Facts #8</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Think of the most incompetent organisation possible. The
                      NSA would be more even more incompetent than that.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/">NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-nsa-9">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s NSA Facts #9</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      The NSA headquarters are the unhappiest place on Earth.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/">NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-nsa-10">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s NSA Facts #10</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      <b>Yogurt:</b> “Never overestimate the power of the NSA.”
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/">NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-nsa-11">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s NSA Facts #11</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      First the NSA ignores “silly” Internet memes, then they
                      laugh at them, then they are unable to fight them, and
                      then they lose.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/">NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-nsa-12">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s NSA Facts #12</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      The NSA is an intelligence agency which thinks it can use
                      Artificial Ultra-Stupidity (AUS) to wade through tons of
                      irrelevant information and reach genuine understanding.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/">NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-nsa-13">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s NSA Facts #13</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Your next job after one in <a
                          href="http://twitter.com/NSACareers">@NSACareers</a>,
                      will be as a dead corpse in a coffin, 6 feet underground,
                      or as a patient in a psychiatric ward.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/">NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-nsa-14">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s NSA Facts #14</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Hackers bend the rules, so the NSA hates them. Instead,
                      the NSA accumulates rules, observes them, and accepts
                      their fate: death.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/">NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-1">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #1</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      XSLT is the worst thing since non-sliced bread.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-2">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #2</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Mothers used to tell their children stories about XSLT
                      to scare them.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-3">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #3</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      XSLT is the number one cause of programmers' suicides
                      since Visual Basic 1.0.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-4">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #4</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      The X in XSLT stands for eXtermination.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-5">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #5</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      The only things worse than XSLT are Excel and Sugar-Less
                      Tea (XSLT).
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-6">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #6</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      XSLT is what Chuck Norris has nightmares of.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-7">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #7</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Confucius says: "XSLT made me realise humanity was
                      hopeless.".
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-8">
          <meta>
              <title>Zuu's "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #8</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Even APL won't make friends with XSLT.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Zuu</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-9">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #9</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      God considered using XSLT as the tenth plague of Egypt,
                      but then thought it was too evil.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-10">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #10</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      In Soviet Russia, XSLT codes you. Badly!
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-11">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #11</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Satan condemned Hitler for a million years of writing
                      XSLT.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-12">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #12</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      The KGB used to torture their victims by having them
                      look at scrolling XSLT code.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-13">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #13</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      "My name is Inigo Montoya. You forced my father to write
                      XSLT. Prepare to die!  And be thankful I don't force you
                      to write XSLT."
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-14">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #14</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Stray XSLT code causes more deaths than road accidents.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-15">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #15</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evil redirects to XSLT.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-16">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #16</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      We have nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear has nothing
                      to fear but XSLT.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-xslt-17">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #17</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      The devil created a 10th circle of hell for the inventors
                      of XSLT, because the first nine circles were too mild for
                      them.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/">XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
  </list>
</collection>
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