shlomi-fish-homepage / t2 / humour / fortunes / shlomif-factoids.xml

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<?xml-stylesheet type="text/xml" href="fortune-xml-to-html.xsl"?>
<collection>
  <head/>
  <list>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-1">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish's Chuck Norris Fact #1</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p> 
                      Chuck Norris wrote a complete Perl 6 implementation in a day,
                      but then destroyed all evidence with his bare hands, so
                      no-one will know his secrets.  
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck 
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-2">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish's Chuck Norris Fact #2</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p> 
                    Chuck Norris refactors 10 million lines of Perl code 
                    before lunch.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck 
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-3">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish's Chuck Norris Fact #3</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p> 
                      Chuck Norris is his own boss. If you hire him, he'll 
                      tell your boss what to do.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck 
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-4">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish's Chuck Norris Fact #4</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p> 
                    Chuck Norris read the entire English Wikipedia in 24 
                    hours. Twice.
                  </p>
                  <p>
                      ( Actually, he wrote it in 24 hours. Twice. (The first 
                      time longhand in blood. The second time he typed it in 
                      from memory (by <b>Drew Roberts</b>). )
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck 
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-5">
          <meta>
              <title>Kattana's Chuck Norris Fact #5</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris does not code; when he sits at a computer, 
                      it just does whatever he wants. (By: <b>Kattana</b>.) 
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Kattana</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck 
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-6">
          <meta>
              <title>Daxim's Chuck Norris Fact #6</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris commits with a roundhouse kick into the 
                      SVN server's head.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Daxim</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck 
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-7">
          <meta>
              <title>Su-Shee's Chuck Norris Fact #7</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes. (Su-Shee)
                  </p>
                  <p>
                      He corrects God. (Shlomi Fish)
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Su-Shee and Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck 
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-8">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish's Chuck Norris Fact #8</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris is the ghost author of the entire Debian 
                      GNU/Linux distribution. And he wrote it in 24 hours, 
                      while taking snack breaks. 
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck 
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-9">
          <meta>
              <title>Araujo's Chuck Norris Fact #9</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                        Chuck Norris doesn't commit changes, the changes 
                        commit for him.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Araujo</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck 
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-10">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish's Chuck Norris Fact #10</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Bugs are too afraid to reproduce on Chuck Norris' 
                      computer. As a result, when he uses Microsoft Windows, 
                      it behaves just like a Linux system. 
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck 
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-11">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish's Chuck Norris Fact #11</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris is a real programmer. He writes programs by
                      implementing the most optimised machines for them using
                      real atoms. 
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck 
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-12">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish's Chuck Norris Fact #12</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Deletionists delete Wikipedia articles that they consider
                      lame.
                  </p>
                  <p>
                      Chuck Norris deletes Deletionists whom he considers lame. 
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck 
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-13">
          <meta>
              <title>joeyadams's Chuck Norris Fact #13</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      There are no deletionists. Only Wikipedia articles Chuck 
                      Norris allows to live. (By: <b>joeyadams</b>) 
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>joeyadams</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck 
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-14">
          <meta>
              <title>joeyadams's Chuck Norris Fact #14</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      Wikipedia deletionists don't delete lame Wikipedia 
                      articles. Chuck Norris deletes lame Wikipedia articles.
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck 
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-15">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish's Chuck Norris Fact #15</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                      No one knows all of Perl - not even Larry Wall. Except 
                      Chuck Norris, who knows all of Perl 5, Perl 6 and can 
                      answer questions about the design of Perl 7. 
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck 
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
      <fortune id="shlomif-fact-chuck-16">
          <meta>
              <title>Shlomi Fish's Chuck Norris Fact #16</title>
          </meta>
          <quote>
              <body>
                  <p>
                    Chuck Norris reads all messages posted to LKML (= the 
                    Linux Kernel Mailing List), understands them all, and he 
                    kills all gnomes he sees in sight. 
                  </p>
              </body>
              <info>
                  <author>Shlomi Fish</author>
                  <work href="http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/">Chuck 
                      Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends</work>
              </info>
          </quote>
      </fortune>
  </list>
</collection>
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