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Shlomi Fish  committed 4c852c5

More stylish Unicode quotes.

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  • Parent commits 8004f56

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File shlomif-sig-quotes

-I don't believe in fairies. Oops! A fairy died.
-I don't believe in fairies. Oops! Another fairy died.
+I don’t believe in fairies. Oops! A fairy died.
+I don’t believe in fairies. Oops! Another fairy died.
 %
-The prefix "God Said" has the extraordinary logical property of converting any
+The prefix God Said has the extraordinary logical property of converting any
 statement that follows it into a true one.
 %
-I used to be arrogant. Now I'm simply Perfect.
-    -- one of Shlomi Fish's relatives.
+I used to be arrogant. Now I’m simply Perfect.
+    -- one of Shlomi Fish’s relatives.
 %
 Microsoft - making it all make sense. Ours.
 %
 %
 Oh! I wish you could see the look on his face! Actually, I would have also
 liked to see the look on his face, but just then I woke up from the dream.
--- "The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
+The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It
 %
 Had I not been already insane, I would have long ago driven myself mad.
--- "The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
+The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It
 %
 A more experienced programmer does not make less bugs. He just realizes what
 went wrong more quickly.
 There is no IGLU Cabal! None of them could pass the Turing test. But strangely
 enough a computer program they coded, could.
 %
-Knuth is not God! Typing "God" into Google and pressing "I'm Feeling Lucky"
+Knuth is not God! Typing God into Google and pressing “I’m Feeling Lucky
 will not lead you to his homepage.
 %
 Knuth is not God! Unless you confuse him with Dijkstra.
 C++ supports Object-Oriented Programming roughly as much as COBOL supports
 Functional Programming.
 %
-I hope that if it had not been clear before, it isn't less clear now.
--- One of Shlomi Fish's Technion Lecturers
+I hope that if it had not been clear before, it isn’t less clear now.
+    -- One of Shlomi Fish’s Technion Lecturers
 %
 My opinions may seem crazy but they all make sense. Insane sense, but sense
 nonetheless.
 %
-There's no point in keeping an idea to yourself since there's a 10 to 1 chance
+Theres no point in keeping an idea to yourself since theres a 10 to 1 chance
 that somebody already has it and will share it before you.
 %
 An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
-Two apples a day will keep two doctors away. (-- one of Shlomi Fish's relatives)
+Two apples a day will keep two doctors away. 
+    -- one of Shlomi Fish’s relatives
 %
-"You are banished! You are banished! You are banished! 
-Hey! I'm just kidding!"
+“You are banished! You are banished! You are banished! 
+Hey! I’m just kidding!”
 %
 He has a high degree of idealism, a high degree of stubbornness, and an even
 higher degree of inability to distiniguish between the two.
 %
 If his programming is anything like his philosophising, he would find ten
-imaginary bugs in the "Hello World" program.
+imaginary bugs in the Hello World program.
 %
 Hacker sees bug. Hacker does not want bug. Hacker fixes bug.
 %
 Tcl is Lisp on drugs. Using strings instead of S-expressions for closures is
-Evil with one of those gigantic E's you can find at the beginning of chapters.
+Evil with one of those gigantic Es you can find at the beginning of chapters.
 %
 95% of Programmers consider 95% of the code they did not write, in the bottom
 5%.
 -- Moses the Smiley by Shlomi Fish
 %
 The first phrase that need to be taught when teaching a new language is how to
-say "Do you speak English?". The first thing that needs to be taught when
+say Do you speak English?. The first thing that needs to be taught when
 teaching a new computer tool is how to exit it.
 %
 He who re-invents the wheel, will understand much better how a wheel works.
 He who re-invents the wheel, may actually invent a much better wheel.
 %
 He who re-invents the wheel will likely design a square wheel and spend a year
-trying to figure out why it doesn't work properly. -- Nadav Har'El
+trying to figure out why it doesnt work properly. -- Nadav HarEl
 %
-Sometimes you don't need to be familiar with a better alternative to know that
+Sometimes you dont need to be familiar with a better alternative to know that
 something sucks. Take Microsoft Word for example.
--- Shlomi Fish's friend.
+-- Shlomi Fishs friend.
 %
 The difference between a good student and a bad student is that a bad student
 forgets the material five minutes before the test, while a good student five
 minutes afterwards.
-    -- One of Shlomi Fish's Technion Lecturer
+    -- One of Shlomi Fishs Technion Lecturer
 %
-Real programmers don't write workarounds. They tell their users to upgrade
+Real programmers dont write workarounds. They tell their users to upgrade
 their software.
 %
 Jewish Atheists are the only true Atheists. They beat the hell out of Goy
 Except for boastfulness, rashness is my only defect!
 -- Based on http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/TheEnemy/ .
 %
-If it isn't in my email, it doesn't exist.
+If it isnt in my email, it doesnt exist.
 
 And if the whole world says one thing and my email says something different,
 email will conquer.
 
 -- an Israeli Linuxer.
 %
-The bad thing about hardware is that it sometimes work and sometimes doesn't.
-The good thing about software is that it's consistent: it always does not
+The bad thing about hardware is that it sometimes work and sometimes doesn’t.
+The good thing about software is that it’s consistent: it always does not
 work, and it always does not work in exactly the same way.
 %
 Larry Wall can understand the Perl code he wrote last year.
 Electrical Engineering studies. In the Technion. Been there. Done that. Forgot
 a lot. Remember too much.
 %
-I'm not an actor - I just play one on T.V.
+I’m not an actor - I just play one on T.V.
 %
 Trying to block Internet pornography is like climbing a waterfall and trying
-to stay dry. (-- one of Shlomi Fish's Internet Friends)
+to stay dry. (-- one of Shlomi Fishs Internet Friends)
 %
-"I'm not straight - I'm Israeli."
+"Im not straight - Im Israeli."
 %
 It does not mean what I think it means, but it means what *you* think it
 means.
 %
-We don't know his cellphone number, and even if we did, we would tell you that
-we didn't know it.
+We don’t know his cellphone number, and even if we did, we would tell you that
+we didn’t know it.
 %
 What do you mean by "WDYM"?
 %
-I'd do Windows-- , but this may result in an integer underflow.
+I’d do Windows-- , but this may result in an integer underflow.
 -- an Israeli Linuxer.
 %
 Nobody expects the Randal Schwartz condition!
 Ran Eilam To Shlomi Fish: so what are you working on? Working on a new wiki
 about unit testing fortunes in freecell?
 %
-You can never truly appreciate The Gilmore Girls until you've watched it in
+You can never truly appreciate The Gilmore Girls until youve watched it in
 the original Klingon.
 %
 God gave us two eyes and ten fingers so we will type five times as much as we
 
 *meep:* hack, make, test, segfault, oh noes, revert to previous revision
 %
-What does "IDK" stand for? I don't know.
+What does "IDK" stand for? I dont know.
 %
 Give me ASCII or give me deaþ!
 %
 %
 Chuck Norris refactors 10 million lines of Perl code before lunch.
 %
-Chuck Norris is his own boss. If you hire him, he'll tell your boss what to
+Chuck Norris is his own boss. If you hire him, hell tell your boss what to
 do.
 %
 Chuck Norris read the entire English Wikipedia in 24 hours. Twice.
 Chuck Norris does not code; when he sits at a computer, it just does whatever
 he wants. (By: Kattana.)
 %
-Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes. (Su-Shee) He corrects God. (Shlomi Fish)
+Chuck Norris doesnt make mistakes. (Su-Shee) He corrects God. (Shlomi Fish)
 %
 Chuck Norris is the ghost author of the entire Debian GNU/Linux distribution.
 And he wrote it in 24 hours, while taking snack breaks.
 %
-Chuck Norris doesn't commit changes, the changes commit for him.
+Chuck Norris doesnt commit changes, the changes commit for him.
 -- Araujo
 %
-Bugs are too afraid to reproduce on Chuck Norris' computer. As a result, when
+Bugs are too afraid to reproduce on Chuck Norris computer. As a result, when
 he uses Microsoft Windows, it behaves just like a Linux system.
 %
 Chuck Norris is a real programmer. He writes programs by implementing the most
 %
 Mothers used to tell their children stories about XSLT to scare them.
 %
-XSLT is the number one cause of programmers' suicides since Visual Basic 1.0.
+XSLT is the number one cause of programmers suicides since Visual Basic 1.0.
 %
 The X in XSLT stands for eXtermination.
 %
 code.
 %
 "My name is Inigo Montoya. You forced my father to write XSLT. Prepare to die!
-And be thankful I don't force you to write XSLT."
+And be thankful I dont force you to write XSLT."
 %
 Stray XSLT code causes more deaths than road accidents.
 %
 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evil redirects to XSLT.
 %
-Mastering 'cat' is almost as difficult as herding cats.
+Mastering cat is almost as difficult as herding cats.
 -- http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/Mastering-Cat/
 %
 NASA Uses COBOL.
 "maybe".
 %
 * Backward compatibility is your worst enemy.
-* Backward compatibility is your users' best friend.
+* Backward compatibility is your users best friend.
 %
 Every successful open-source project will eventually spawn a sub-project.
 %
 Duplicate effort in FOSS is inevitable. Live with it.
 %
-The number of items on an open-source project's to-do list always grows or
+The number of items on an open-source projects to-do list always grows or
 remains constant.
 %
 <rindolf> buu: do you have a functional spec? An architecture document? An 
-interface whitepaper? A developer's guide? A user manual? A "The BL-Book" and 
+interface whitepaper? A developers guide? A user manual? A "The BL-Book" and 
 "BL - The Program"?
 <buu> rindolf: no, no, no no and no
 %
-<mst> I find it's usually safe to assume that whatever shlomif's doing, there
-isn't a good reason for it.
+<mst> I find it’s usually safe to assume that whatever shlomif’s doing, there
+isn’t a good reason for it.
 %
 Become an awesome Perl ninja rockstar vampire zombie pirate.
 %
-<PerlJam> I'm trying to achieve world peace and this regex is the last thing
+<PerlJam> Im trying to achieve world peace and this regex is the last thing
 standing in my way! ;)
 %
 <rindolf> "be here or be not here - there is no maybe"
 <rjbs> sub id { my $self = shift; $json_parser_for{ $self }
     ->decode($json_for{ $self })->{id} } # Inside-out JSON-notated objects
 %
-I started out as a BASIC programmer. Some people would say that I'm 
+I started out as a BASIC programmer. Some people would say that Im 
 permanently damaged. Some people are undoubtedly right.
     -- Larry Wall
 %
 My Commodore 64 is suffering from slowness and insufficiency of memory, and its
 display device is grievously short of pixels.  Can anybody help? -- Omer Zak
 %
-I hope that you agree with me that 99.9218485921% of the users wouldn't bother
+I hope that you agree with me that 99.9218485921% of the users wouldnt bother
 themselves with recompilation (or any other manual step for that matter) to
-make their games run 1.27127529900685765% faster ;-) -- Nadav Har'El
+make their games run 1.27127529900685765% faster ;-) -- Nadav HarEl
 %
 I also have versions of this code in COBOL.NET, Intercal, PDP-10 Assembly, J,
-APL, Windows NT 4.0 Batch script and Autocad Lisp - I'm sure you can handle
+APL, Windows NT 4.0 Batch script and Autocad Lisp - Im sure you can handle
 all of them because none of them is Perl. ;-).
 %
 Dax: yep, space. Nothing but nothing all around.
     -- Star Trek, "We, the Living Dead" by Shlomi Fish
 %
-Q: I'll be about 6.5 milliard Terran years next September.
+Q: Ill be about 6.5 milliard Terran years next September.
     -- Star Trek, "We, the Living Dead" by Shlomi Fish
 %
 Sisko: Q: would it be OK if my crew brough along their phasers with them?
 
 Q: Of course. They can also bring some photon torpedoes if they wish. None of 
-them will work, but I don't mind them taking them.
+them will work, but I dont mind them taking them.
 %
-Q2: Busy people are unproductive. We are very productive and so we're never 
+Q2: Busy people are unproductive. We are very productive and so were never 
 busy.
     -- Star Trek, "We, the Living Dead" by Shlomi Fish
 %
 for Larry to play catch-up. (dukeleto) 
 %
 Chuck Norris does not code; when he sits at a computer, it just does whatever
-he wants. -- Kattana on Freenode's #perl6 .
+he wants. -- Kattana on Freenodes #perl6 .
 %
 Logic sucks. Morality sucks. Reality sucks. Deal with it!
 %
 %
 And the top story for today: wives live longer than husbands because they are
 not married to women.
-    -- Colin Mochrie in "Who's Line is it, Anyway?"
+    -- Colin Mochrie in "Whos Line is it, Anyway?"
 %
-I feel much better, now that I've given up hope.
+I feel much better, now that Ive given up hope.
     -- Ashleigh Brilliant
 %
 The more I think about it, the more I think I should think about it some more.
 %
 A golfed Java program will be longer than non-golf Perl or Python code.
 %
-"We're not doing it for money… we're doing it for a shitload of money!"
+"Were not doing it for money… were doing it for a shitload of money!"
     -- Spaceballs, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094012/
 %
 Lone Starr: "Just what we need - a Druish princess."
-Barf: "Funny! She doesn't look Druish."
+Barf: "Funny! She doesnt look Druish."
     -- Spaceballs, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094012/
 %
 The cool thing about Vim is - you find something interesting with every typo.
-    -- Su-Shee on Freenode's #perl .
+    -- Su-Shee on Freenodes #perl .
 %
 Larry Wall *does* know all of Perl. However, he pretends to be wrong
 or misinformed, so people will underestimate him.
 %
 Real programmers use a nice editor and a nice programming language and get it
 done in less than O(N!).
-    -- vanguard on Freenode's ##programming
+    -- vanguard on Freenodes ##programming
 %
-Bill Gates, CEO of Microsoft decides to use Richard Stallman's Emacs as the
-basis of his company's state-of-the-art product Microsoft Editing Macros™
+Bill Gates, CEO of Microsoft decides to use Richard Stallman’s Emacs as the
+basis of his company’s state-of-the-art product Microsoft Editing Macros™
 Enterprise Edition XP .NET Professional.
 %
 JATFM == "Just answer the fabulous man"
 The one and only, 100% original, real, actual, and unmatched, Slimy Fish™!
 %
 Jack: Hi Sophie!
-Sophie: Don't "Hi, Sophie!" me.
-Jack: Don't "Don't 'Hi, Sophie!' me" me!
+Sophie: Don’t "Hi, Sophie!" me.
+Jack: Don’t "Don’t ‘Hi, Sophie!’ me" me!
 %
 Doing linear scans over an associative array is like trying to club someone to
 death with a loaded Uzi.     -- Larry Wall
 %
 And truth be told, I miss you.
-And truth be told, I'm lying.
+And truth be told, Im lying.
     -- The All American Rejects, "Gives You Hell"
 %
 Yesterday I asked one of my students if she knew what an encyclopedia is, and
         -- http://twitter.com/alisonclement/status/8421314259
 %
 <Botje>  Khisanth =~ s/must sleep/must give Botje all my money/ .
-    -- Freenode's #perl
+    -- Freenodes #perl
 %
 CPAN thrives *because* of the unfettered uploading of shit, not in spite of it.
     -- Andy Lester
 %
-Real men don't listen to sentences that start with "Real men don't". 
+Real men dont listen to sentences that start with "Real men dont". 
     -- http://whatsup.org.il/article/6023
 %
 <ew73>  VB.NET is all of the fun of enforced privacy OO with all of the power
-of BASIC.           -- Freenode's #perl
+of BASIC.           -- Freenodes #perl
 %
 I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in
 mind.                  -- Alan Kay (Attributed)
 %
-I'd love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
+I’d love to change the world, but they wont give me the source code.
     -- Unknown
 %
 He says "One and one and one is three".
-Got to be good-looking 'cause he's so hard to see.
+Got to be good-looking cause hes so hard to see.
     -- The Beatles, "Come Together"
 %
-Larry Wall's pure-Perl code is faster than Assembly.
+Larry Walls pure-Perl code is faster than Assembly.
 %
 Chuck Norris once wrote a 10 million lines C++ program in Microsoft Notepad
 without having to use the backspace key. And it compiled without errors or
 Shlomi: if you read my stories, I’ll give you 1,000,000 virtual dollars.
 Sjors: causing me to have a lot of extra virtual time!
 %
-If Botticelli were alive today, he'd be working for Vogue.
+If Botticelli were alive today, hed be working for Vogue.
     -- http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Peter_Ustinov
 %
 We have nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear has nothing to fear but XSLT.