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Anonymous committed 8c26916

Renamed the file shlomif-sigs to shlomif-sig-quotes.

This is a more descriptive title.

Comments (0)

Files changed (4)

 	cp -f $< $@
 
 upload:
-	rsync -a --progress --verbose shlomif-sigs "$${__HOMEPAGE_REMOTE_PATH}"/signature-quotes-moy/
+	rsync -a --progress --verbose shlomif-sig-quotes "$${__HOMEPAGE_REMOTE_PATH}"/signature-quotes-moy/
 

gen-shlomif-at-iglu-sig

 
 my $line = $resource_lines[rand(@resource_lines)];
 
-my $quotes_text = io()->encoding('utf-8')->file("$script_dir/shlomif-sigs")->slurp;
+my $quotes_text = io()->encoding('utf-8')->file("$script_dir/shlomif-sig-quotes")->slurp;
 
 my @quotes = grep { /\S/ } split(/^(?:\s+\n)*%(?:\s+\n)*$/ms, $quotes_text);
 

shlomif-sig-quotes

+I don't believe in fairies. Oops! A fairy died.
+I don't believe in fairies. Oops! Another fairy died.
+%
+The prefix "God Said" has the extraordinary logical property of converting any
+statement that follows it into a true one.
+%
+I used to be arrogant. Now I'm simply Perfect.
+    -- one of Shlomi Fish's relative.
+%
+Microsoft - making it all make sense. Ours.
+%
+Linux - Because Software Problems Should not Cost Money.
+%
+The American Lottery - all you need is a dollar and a dream. We will take the
+dollar, but you can keep the dream.
+%
+Judaism: God knows you will do shit, does nothing to prevent it, but makes you
+take the blame for it anyways.
+%
+Judaism: God is all the shit, all the non-shit and all the intermediate
+demi-shits in between.
+%
+Oh! I wish you could see the look on his face! Actually, I would have also
+liked to see the look on his face, but just then I woke up from the dream.
+-- "The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
+%
+Had I not been already insane, I would have long ago driven myself mad.
+-- "The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
+%
+A more experienced programmer does not make less bugs. He just realizes what
+went wrong more quickly.
+%
+Knuth is not God! It took him two days to build the Roman Empire.
+%
+Knuth is not God! God has already released TeX version 4.0.
+%
+There is no IGLU Cabal! None of them could pass the Turing test. But strangely
+enough a computer program they coded, could.
+%
+Knuth is not God! Typing "God" into Google and pressing "I'm Feeling Lucky"
+would not lead you to his homepage.
+%
+Knuth is not God! Unless you confuse him with Dijkstra.
+%
+C++ supports Object-Oriented Programming roughly as much as COBOL supports
+Functional Programming.
+%
+I hope that if it had not been clear before, it isn't less clear now.
+-- One of Shlomi Fish's Technion Lecturers
+%
+My opinions may seem crazy but they all make sense. Insane sense, but sense
+nonetheless.
+%
+There's no point in keeping an idea to yourself since there's a 10 to 1 chance
+that somebody already has it and will share it before you.
+%
+An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
+Two apples a day will keep two doctors away. (-- one of Shlomi Fish's relatives)
+%
+"You are banished! You are banished! You are banished! 
+Hey! I'm just kidding!"
+%
+He has a high degree of idealism, a high degree of stubbornness, and an even
+higher degree of inability to distiniguish between the two.
+%
+If his programming is anything like his philosophising, he would find ten
+imaginary bugs in the "Hello World" program.
+%
+Hacker sees bug. Hacker does not want bug. Hacker fixes bug.
+%
+Tcl is Lisp on drugs. Using strings instead of S-expressions for closures is
+Evil with one of those gigantic E's you can find at the beginning of chapters.
+%
+95% of Programmers consider 95% of the code they did not write, in the bottom
+5%.
+%
+No self-respecting tomboy would use Mandriva.
+%
+C++ is complex, complexifying and complexified.
+(With apologies to the Oxford English Dictionary).
+%
+  :)-<
+   +--
+-- Moses the Smiley by Shlomi Fish
+%
+The first phrase that need to be taught when teaching a new language is how to
+say "Do you speak English?". The first thing that needs to be taught when
+teaching a new computer tool is how to exit it.
+%
+He who re-invents the wheel, will understand much better how a wheel works.
+%
+He who re-invents the wheel, may actually invent a much better wheel.
+%
+He who re-invents the wheel will likely design a square wheel and spend a year
+trying to figure out why it doesn't work properly. -- Nadav Har'El
+%
+Sometimes you don't need to be familiar with a better alternative to know that
+something sucks. Take Microsoft Word for example.
+-- Shlomi Fish's friend.
+%
+The difference between a good student and a bad student is that a bad student
+forgets the material five minutes before the test, while a good student five
+minutes afterwards.
+    -- One of Shlomi Fish's Technion Lecturer
+%
+Real programmers don't write workarounds. They tell their users to upgrade
+their software.
+%
+Jewish Atheists are the only true Atheists. They beat the hell out of Goy
+Atheists.
+%
+Except for boastfulness, rashness is my only defect!
+-- Based on http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/TheEnemy/ .
+%
+If it isn't in my email, it doesn't exist.
+
+And if the whole world says one thing and my email says something different,
+email will conquer.
+
+-- an Israeli Linuxer.
+%
+The bad thing about hardware is that it sometimes work and sometimes doesn't.
+The good thing about software is that it's consistent: it always does not
+work, and it always does not work in exactly the same way.
+%
+Larry Wall can understand the Perl code he wrote last year.
+%
+Larry Wall gets the colon.
+%
+There are at least 137 Larry Walls in the U.S. but only one that matters.
+%
+Larry Wall applies a patch manually quicker than GNU patch.
+%
+Larry Wall dreams in Perl.
+%
+Larry Wall can program in his sleep.
+%
+Larry Wall is lazy, impatient and full of hubris.
+%
+Larry Wall has more dollars in the bank than in his Perl code.
+%
+Electrical Engineering studies. In the Technion. Been there. Done that. Forgot
+a lot. Remember too much.
+%
+I'm not an actor - I just play one on T.V.
+%
+Trying to block Internet pornography is like climbing a waterfall and trying
+to stay dry. (-- one of Shlomi Fish's Internet Friends)
+%
+"I'm not straight - I'm Israeli."
+%
+It does not mean what I think it means, but it means what *you* think it
+means.
+%
+We don't know his cellphone number, and even if we did, we would tell you that
+we didn't know it.
+%
+What do you mean by "WDYM"?
+%
+I'd do Windows-- , but this may result in an integer underflow.
+-- an Israeli Linuxer.
+%
+Nobody expects the Randal Schwartz condition!
+-- David Fetter
+%
+I often wonder why I hang out with so many people who are so pedantic. And
+then I remember - because they are so pedantic.
+-- Israeli Perl Monger
+%
+Ran Eilam To Shlomi Fish: so what are you working on? Working on a new wiki
+about unit testing fortunes in freecell?
+%
+You can never really appreciate The Gilmore Girls until you've watched it in
+the original Klingon.
+%
+God gave us two eyes and ten fingers so we will type five times as much as we
+read.
+%
+Only wimps complain about bad code. Real men clean it up.
+%
+Wikipedia has a page about everything including the
+http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kitchen_sink .
+%
+*shlomif:* hack, hack, hack ; save ; make ; make test; commit. And start over.
+
+*mrjink:*hack, hack, hack; save; make; swear; fix typos; save; make; make
+test; swear some more; hack some more; save; make; make test; cheer; commit.
+
+*meep:* hack, make, test, segfault, oh noes, revert to previous revision
+%
+What does "IDK" stand for? I don't know.
+%
+Give me ASCII or give me deaþ!
+%
+In the Technion, there are many ways to get from one place to the other, but
+they are all the same length.
+%
+English spelling aims to be consistent. Publicly and methodically.
+%
+COBOL is the old Java.
+%
+You name it - COBOL does not have it.
+%
+Chuck Norris wrote a complete Perl 6 implementation in a day, but then
+destroyed all evidence with his bare hands, so no-one will know his secrets.
+%
+Chuck Norris refactors 10 million lines of Perl code before lunch.
+%
+Chuck Norris is his own boss. If you hire him, he'll tell your boss what to
+do.
+%
+Chuck Norris read the entire English Wikipedia in 24 hours. Twice.
+%
+Chuck Norris does not code; when he sits at a computer, it just does whatever
+he wants. (By: Kattana.)
+%
+Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes. (Su-Shee) He corrects God. (Shlomi Fish)
+%
+Chuck Norris is the ghost author of the entire Debian GNU/Linux distribution.
+And he wrote it in 24 hours, while taking snack breaks.
+%
+Chuck Norris doesn't commit changes, the changes commit for him.
+-- Araujo
+%
+Bugs are too afraid to reproduce on Chuck Norris' computer. As a result, when
+he uses Microsoft Windows, it behaves just like a Linux system.
+%
+Chuck Norris is a real programmer. He writes programs by implementing the most
+optimised machines for them using real atoms.
+%
+Deletionists delete Wikipedia articles that they consider lame.
+
+Chuck Norris deletes Deletionists whom he considers lame.
+%
+There are no deletionists. Only Wikipedia articles Chuck Norris allows to
+live. (By: joeyadams)
+%
+No one knows all of Perl - not even Larry Wall. Except Chuck Norris, who knows
+all of Perl 5, Perl 6 and can answer questions about the design of Perl 7.
+%
+Chuck Norris reads all messages posted to LKML (= the Linux Kernel Mailing
+List), understands them all, and he kills all gnomes he sees in sight.
+%
+When Chuck Norris uses Gentoo, "emerge kde" finishes in under a minute. A
+computer cannot afford to keep Chuck waiting for too long.
+%
+Chuck Norris is the greatest man in history. He killed all the great men who
+could ever pose a competition.
+%
+"My only boss is God. And Chuck Norris who is his boss."
+%
+Chuck Norris can make the statement "This statement is false." a true one.
+%
+XSLT is the worst thing since non-sliced bread.
+%
+Mothers used to tell their children stories about XSLT to scare them.
+%
+XSLT is the number one cause of programmers' suicides since Visual Basic 1.0.
+%
+The X in XSLT stands for eXtermination.
+%
+The only things worse than XSLT are Excel and Sugar-Less Tea (XSLT).
+%
+XSLT is what Chuck Norris has nightmares of.
+%
+Confucius says: "XSLT made me realise humanity was hopeless.".
+%
+God considered using XSLT as the tenth plague of Egypt, but then thought it
+was too evil.
+%
+In Soviet Russia, XSLT codes you. Badly!
+%
+Satan condemned Hitler for a million years of writing XSLT.
+%
+The KGB used to torture their victims by having them look at scrolling XSLT
+code.
+%
+"My name is Inigo Montoya. You forced my father to write XSLT. Prepare to die!
+And be thankful I don't force you to write XSLT."
+%
+Stray XSLT code causes more deaths than road accidents.
+%
+http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evil redirects to XSLT.
+%
+Mastering 'cat' is almost as difficult as herding cats.
+-- http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/Mastering-Cat/
+%
+NASA Uses COBOL.
+%
+When a FLOSS developer says they will work on something, he or she means
+"maybe".
+%
+* Backward compatibility is your worst enemy.
+* Backward compatibility is your users' best friend.
+%
+Every successful open-source project will eventually spawn a sub-project.
+%
+Duplicate effort in FOSS is inevitable. Live with it.
+%
+The number of items on an open-source project's to-do list always grows or
+remains constant.
+%
+<rindolf> buu: do you have a functional spec? An architecture document? An 
+interface whitepaper? A developer's guide? A user manual? A "The BL-Book" and 
+"BL - The Program"?
+<buu> rindolf: no, no, no no and no
+%
+<mst> I find it's usually safe to assume that whatever shlomif's doing, there
+isn't a good reason for it.
+%
+Become an awesome Perl ninja rockstar vampire zombie pirate.
+%
+<PerlJam> I'm trying to achieve world peace and this regex is the last thing
+standing in my way! ;)
+%
+<rindolf> "be here or be not here - there is no maybe"
+%
+<rindolf>  If you repeat a scene 50k times, then the movie will have less 
+entropy and will compress better. ( irc://irc.freenode.org/#perlcafe )
+%
+Modern Perl - the 3-D Movie. In theatres near you.
+%
+<rindolf> I am not solvable. I am Turing hard.
+%
+<rjbs> sub id { my $self = shift; $json_parser_for{ $self }
+    ->decode($json_for{ $self })->{id} } # Inside-out JSON-notated objects
+%
+I started out as a BASIC programmer. Some people would say that I'm 
+permanently damaged. Some people are undoubtedly right.
+    -- Larry Wall
+%
+bzr is slower than Subversion in combination with Sourceforge.
+-- Sjors, http://dazjorz.com/
+%
+There is no IGLU Cabal! Its members can be arranged in N! orders to form N!
+different Cabals. The algorithm to find which order formulates the correct
+IGLU Cabal is NP-Complete.
+%
+There is no IGLU Cabal. The problem of founding an IGLU Cabal has been proven,
+in a surprise move, to be equivalent to the question of existence of God,
+fully-tolerant religions and NP-complete oracles. -- Omer Zak
+%
+There is no IGLU Cabal! Home-made Cabals eventually superceded the power and
+influence of the original IGLU Cabal, which was considered a cutting edge
+development at its time.
+%
+There is an IGLU Cabal, but its only purpose is to deny the existence of an
+IGLU Cabal. -- Martha Greenberg
+%
+There is no IGLU cabal! The former cabalists are trying to prove the
+correctness of a program that proves the correctness of proofs of other
+programs.
+%
+My Commodore 64 is suffering from slowness and insufficiency of memory, and its
+display device is grievously short of pixels.  Can anybody help? -- Omer Zak
+%
+I hope that you agree with me that 99.9218485921% of the users wouldn't bother
+themselves with recompilation (or any other manual step for that matter) to
+make their games run 1.27127529900685765% faster ;-) -- Nadav Har'El
+%
+I also have versions of this code in COBOL.NET, Intercal, PDP-10 Assembly, J,
+APL, Windows NT 4.0 Batch script and Autocad Lisp - I'm sure you can handle
+all of them because none of them is Perl. ;-).
+%
+Dax: yep, space. Nothing but nothing all around.
+    -- Star Trek, "We, the Living Dead" by Shlomi Fish
+%
+Q: I'll be about 6.5 milliard Terran years next September.
+    -- Star Trek, "We, the Living Dead" by Shlomi Fish
+%
+Sisko: Q: would it be OK if my crew brough along their phasers with them?
+
+Q: Of course. They can also bring some photon torpedoes if they wish. None of 
+them will work, but I don't mind them taking them.
+%
+Q2: Busy people are unproductive. We are very productive and so we're never 
+busy.
+    -- Star Trek, "We, the Living Dead" by Shlomi Fish
+%
+Katie: in case you have any interest in me, I should note that I have a policy 
+against getting involved with people who are 4 times my senior or more.
+    -- Star Trek, "We, the Living Dead" by Shlomi Fish
+%
+When Chuck Norris uses git, he takes a coffee break after initiating every git 
+commit. And then he waits for the commit to finish.
+%
+Chuck Norris has actually been using Perl 6 since 1987, and has been waiting
+for Larry to play catch-up. (dukeleto) 
+%
+Chuck Norris does not code; when he sits at a computer, it just does whatever
+he wants. -- Kattana on Freenode's #perl6 .
+%
+Logic sucks. Morality sucks. Reality sucks. Deal with it!
+%
+Chuck Norris can end world hunger, but he thinks that hungry people make
+humanity a more challenging adversary.
+%
+Chuck Norris writes understandable Perl code.
+%
+Chuck Norris can read Perl code that was RSA encrypted.
+%
+If you have the same ideas as everybody else, but have them one week earlier
+than everyone else - then you will be hailed as a visionary. But if you have
+them five years earlier, you will be named a lunatic. ( Barry Jones )
+%
+Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.
+    -- http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Mohandas_Gandhi (Disputed)
+%
+I learned a lot from my teachers, and from my friends more than my teachers,
+and from my pupils the most. -- Rabbi Hanina
+%
+Better be a tail for the lions, than the head of the jackals.
+    -- Pirkei Avot, 4 15
+%
+What is is. Perceive It. Integrate it. Act on it. Idealize it.
+    -- Leonard Peikoff
+%
+And the top story for today: wives live longer than husbands because they are
+not married to women.
+    -- Colin Mochrie in "Who's Line is it, Anyway?"
+%
+I feel much better, now that I've given up hope.
+    -- Ashleigh Brilliant
+%
+The more I think about it, the more I think I should think about it some more.
+    -- "Clarissa Explains it All"
+%
+Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good
+with ketchup.                                       -- Unknown source.
+%
+"I simply hate, detest, loathe, despise, and abhor redundancy."
+    -- http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Redundancy
+%
+In Soviet Russia, every time you kill a kitten, God masturbates.
+    -- http://linux.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=195378&cid=16009070
+%
+Tel Aviv - a functional definition: free parking space-free space.
+    -- Shachar Shemesh ( http://blog.shemesh.biz/?p=435 )
+%
+Sesquipedallianism: making excessive use of long words.
+%
+Learn Perl from "Learning Perl in 24 Minutes Unleashed, in a Nutshell for 
+Dummies."
+    -- based on Shlomi Fish and f00li5h on #perl
+%
+A golfed Java program will be longer than non-golf Perl or Python code.
+%
+"We're not doing it for money… we're doing it for a shitload of money!"
+    -- Spaceballs, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094012/
+%
+Lone Starr: "Just what we need - a Druish princess."
+Barf: "Funny! She doesn't look Druish."
+    -- Spaceballs, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094012/
+%
+The cool thing about Vim is - you find something interesting with every typo.
+    -- Su-Shee on Freenode's #perl .
+%
+Larry Wall *does* know all of Perl. However, he pretends to be wrong
+or misinformed, so people will underestimate him.
+%
+Real programmers use a nice editor and a nice programming language and get it
+done in less than O(N!).
+    -- vanguard on Freenode's ##programming
+%
+Bill Gates, CEO of Microsoft decides to use Richard Stallman's Emacs as the
+basis of his company's state-of-the-art product Microsoft Editing Macros™
+Enterprise Edition XP .NET Professional.
+%
+JATFM == "Just answer the fabulous man"
+%
+The one and only 100% original real actual and unmatched Slimy Fish™!
+%
+Jack: Hi Sophie!
+Sophie: Don't "Hi, Sophie!" me.
+Jack: Don't "Don't 'Hi, Sophie!' me" me!
+%
+Doing linear scans over an associative array is like trying to club someone to
+death with a loaded Uzi.     -- Larry Wall
+%
+And truth be told I miss you.
+And truth be told I'm lying.
+    -- The All American Rejects, "Gives You Hell"
+%
+Yesterday I asked one of my students if she knew what an encyclopedia is, and
+she said: "Is it something like Wikipedia?".
+        -- http://twitter.com/alisonclement/status/8421314259
+%
+<Botje>  Khisanth =~ s/must sleep/must give Botje all my money/ .
+    -- Freenode's #perl
+%
+CPAN thrives *because* of the unfettered uploading of shit, not in spite of it.
+    -- Andy Lester
+%
+Real men don't listen to sentences that start with "Real men don't". 
+    -- http://whatsup.org.il/article/6023
+%
+<ew73>  VB.NET is all of the fun of enforced privacy OO with all of the power
+of BASIC.           -- Freenode's #perl
+%
+I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in
+mind.                  -- Alan Kay (Attributed)
+%
+I'd love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
+    -- Unknown
+%
+He says "One and one and one is three".
+Got to be good-looking 'cause he's so hard to see.
+    -- The Beatles, "Come Together"

shlomif-sigs

-I don't believe in fairies. Oops! A fairy died.
-I don't believe in fairies. Oops! Another fairy died.
-%
-The prefix "God Said" has the extraordinary logical property of converting any
-statement that follows it into a true one.
-%
-I used to be arrogant. Now I'm simply Perfect.
-    -- one of Shlomi Fish's relative.
-%
-Microsoft - making it all make sense. Ours.
-%
-Linux - Because Software Problems Should not Cost Money.
-%
-The American Lottery - all you need is a dollar and a dream. We will take the
-dollar, but you can keep the dream.
-%
-Judaism: God knows you will do shit, does nothing to prevent it, but makes you
-take the blame for it anyways.
-%
-Judaism: God is all the shit, all the non-shit and all the intermediate
-demi-shits in between.
-%
-Oh! I wish you could see the look on his face! Actually, I would have also
-liked to see the look on his face, but just then I woke up from the dream.
--- "The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
-%
-Had I not been already insane, I would have long ago driven myself mad.
--- "The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
-%
-A more experienced programmer does not make less bugs. He just realizes what
-went wrong more quickly.
-%
-Knuth is not God! It took him two days to build the Roman Empire.
-%
-Knuth is not God! God has already released TeX version 4.0.
-%
-There is no IGLU Cabal! None of them could pass the Turing test. But strangely
-enough a computer program they coded, could.
-%
-Knuth is not God! Typing "God" into Google and pressing "I'm Feeling Lucky"
-would not lead you to his homepage.
-%
-Knuth is not God! Unless you confuse him with Dijkstra.
-%
-C++ supports Object-Oriented Programming roughly as much as COBOL supports
-Functional Programming.
-%
-I hope that if it had not been clear before, it isn't less clear now.
--- One of Shlomi Fish's Technion Lecturers
-%
-My opinions may seem crazy but they all make sense. Insane sense, but sense
-nonetheless.
-%
-There's no point in keeping an idea to yourself since there's a 10 to 1 chance
-that somebody already has it and will share it before you.
-%
-An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
-Two apples a day will keep two doctors away. (-- one of Shlomi Fish's relatives)
-%
-"You are banished! You are banished! You are banished! 
-Hey! I'm just kidding!"
-%
-He has a high degree of idealism, a high degree of stubbornness, and an even
-higher degree of inability to distiniguish between the two.
-%
-If his programming is anything like his philosophising, he would find ten
-imaginary bugs in the "Hello World" program.
-%
-Hacker sees bug. Hacker does not want bug. Hacker fixes bug.
-%
-Tcl is Lisp on drugs. Using strings instead of S-expressions for closures is
-Evil with one of those gigantic E's you can find at the beginning of chapters.
-%
-95% of Programmers consider 95% of the code they did not write, in the bottom
-5%.
-%
-No self-respecting tomboy would use Mandriva.
-%
-C++ is complex, complexifying and complexified.
-(With apologies to the Oxford English Dictionary).
-%
-  :)-<
-   +--
--- Moses the Smiley by Shlomi Fish
-%
-The first phrase that need to be taught when teaching a new language is how to
-say "Do you speak English?". The first thing that needs to be taught when
-teaching a new computer tool is how to exit it.
-%
-He who re-invents the wheel, will understand much better how a wheel works.
-%
-He who re-invents the wheel, may actually invent a much better wheel.
-%
-He who re-invents the wheel will likely design a square wheel and spend a year
-trying to figure out why it doesn't work properly. -- Nadav Har'El
-%
-Sometimes you don't need to be familiar with a better alternative to know that
-something sucks. Take Microsoft Word for example.
--- Shlomi Fish's friend.
-%
-The difference between a good student and a bad student is that a bad student
-forgets the material five minutes before the test, while a good student five
-minutes afterwards.
-    -- One of Shlomi Fish's Technion Lecturer
-%
-Real programmers don't write workarounds. They tell their users to upgrade
-their software.
-%
-Jewish Atheists are the only true Atheists. They beat the hell out of Goy
-Atheists.
-%
-Except for boastfulness, rashness is my only defect!
--- Based on http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/TheEnemy/ .
-%
-If it isn't in my email, it doesn't exist.
-
-And if the whole world says one thing and my email says something different,
-email will conquer.
-
--- an Israeli Linuxer.
-%
-The bad thing about hardware is that it sometimes work and sometimes doesn't.
-The good thing about software is that it's consistent: it always does not
-work, and it always does not work in exactly the same way.
-%
-Larry Wall can understand the Perl code he wrote last year.
-%
-Larry Wall gets the colon.
-%
-There are at least 137 Larry Walls in the U.S. but only one that matters.
-%
-Larry Wall applies a patch manually quicker than GNU patch.
-%
-Larry Wall dreams in Perl.
-%
-Larry Wall can program in his sleep.
-%
-Larry Wall is lazy, impatient and full of hubris.
-%
-Larry Wall has more dollars in the bank than in his Perl code.
-%
-Electrical Engineering studies. In the Technion. Been there. Done that. Forgot
-a lot. Remember too much.
-%
-I'm not an actor - I just play one on T.V.
-%
-Trying to block Internet pornography is like climbing a waterfall and trying
-to stay dry. (-- one of Shlomi Fish's Internet Friends)
-%
-"I'm not straight - I'm Israeli."
-%
-It does not mean what I think it means, but it means what *you* think it
-means.
-%
-We don't know his cellphone number, and even if we did, we would tell you that
-we didn't know it.
-%
-What do you mean by "WDYM"?
-%
-I'd do Windows-- , but this may result in an integer underflow.
--- an Israeli Linuxer.
-%
-Nobody expects the Randal Schwartz condition!
--- David Fetter
-%
-I often wonder why I hang out with so many people who are so pedantic. And
-then I remember - because they are so pedantic.
--- Israeli Perl Monger
-%
-Ran Eilam To Shlomi Fish: so what are you working on? Working on a new wiki
-about unit testing fortunes in freecell?
-%
-You can never really appreciate The Gilmore Girls until you've watched it in
-the original Klingon.
-%
-God gave us two eyes and ten fingers so we will type five times as much as we
-read.
-%
-Only wimps complain about bad code. Real men clean it up.
-%
-Wikipedia has a page about everything including the
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kitchen_sink .
-%
-*shlomif:* hack, hack, hack ; save ; make ; make test; commit. And start over.
-
-*mrjink:*hack, hack, hack; save; make; swear; fix typos; save; make; make
-test; swear some more; hack some more; save; make; make test; cheer; commit.
-
-*meep:* hack, make, test, segfault, oh noes, revert to previous revision
-%
-What does "IDK" stand for? I don't know.
-%
-Give me ASCII or give me deaþ!
-%
-In the Technion, there are many ways to get from one place to the other, but
-they are all the same length.
-%
-English spelling aims to be consistent. Publicly and methodically.
-%
-COBOL is the old Java.
-%
-You name it - COBOL does not have it.
-%
-Chuck Norris wrote a complete Perl 6 implementation in a day, but then
-destroyed all evidence with his bare hands, so no-one will know his secrets.
-%
-Chuck Norris refactors 10 million lines of Perl code before lunch.
-%
-Chuck Norris is his own boss. If you hire him, he'll tell your boss what to
-do.
-%
-Chuck Norris read the entire English Wikipedia in 24 hours. Twice.
-%
-Chuck Norris does not code; when he sits at a computer, it just does whatever
-he wants. (By: Kattana.)
-%
-Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes. (Su-Shee) He corrects God. (Shlomi Fish)
-%
-Chuck Norris is the ghost author of the entire Debian GNU/Linux distribution.
-And he wrote it in 24 hours, while taking snack breaks.
-%
-Chuck Norris doesn't commit changes, the changes commit for him.
--- Araujo
-%
-Bugs are too afraid to reproduce on Chuck Norris' computer. As a result, when
-he uses Microsoft Windows, it behaves just like a Linux system.
-%
-Chuck Norris is a real programmer. He writes programs by implementing the most
-optimised machines for them using real atoms.
-%
-Deletionists delete Wikipedia articles that they consider lame.
-
-Chuck Norris deletes Deletionists whom he considers lame.
-%
-There are no deletionists. Only Wikipedia articles Chuck Norris allows to
-live. (By: joeyadams)
-%
-No one knows all of Perl - not even Larry Wall. Except Chuck Norris, who knows
-all of Perl 5, Perl 6 and can answer questions about the design of Perl 7.
-%
-Chuck Norris reads all messages posted to LKML (= the Linux Kernel Mailing
-List), understands them all, and he kills all gnomes he sees in sight.
-%
-When Chuck Norris uses Gentoo, "emerge kde" finishes in under a minute. A
-computer cannot afford to keep Chuck waiting for too long.
-%
-Chuck Norris is the greatest man in history. He killed all the great men who
-could ever pose a competition.
-%
-"My only boss is God. And Chuck Norris who is his boss."
-%
-Chuck Norris can make the statement "This statement is false." a true one.
-%
-XSLT is the worst thing since non-sliced bread.
-%
-Mothers used to tell their children stories about XSLT to scare them.
-%
-XSLT is the number one cause of programmers' suicides since Visual Basic 1.0.
-%
-The X in XSLT stands for eXtermination.
-%
-The only things worse than XSLT are Excel and Sugar-Less Tea (XSLT).
-%
-XSLT is what Chuck Norris has nightmares of.
-%
-Confucius says: "XSLT made me realise humanity was hopeless.".
-%
-God considered using XSLT as the tenth plague of Egypt, but then thought it
-was too evil.
-%
-In Soviet Russia, XSLT codes you. Badly!
-%
-Satan condemned Hitler for a million years of writing XSLT.
-%
-The KGB used to torture their victims by having them look at scrolling XSLT
-code.
-%
-"My name is Inigo Montoya. You forced my father to write XSLT. Prepare to die!
-And be thankful I don't force you to write XSLT."
-%
-Stray XSLT code causes more deaths than road accidents.
-%
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evil redirects to XSLT.
-%
-Mastering 'cat' is almost as difficult as herding cats.
--- http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/Mastering-Cat/
-%
-NASA Uses COBOL.
-%
-When a FLOSS developer says they will work on something, he or she means
-"maybe".
-%
-* Backward compatibility is your worst enemy.
-* Backward compatibility is your users' best friend.
-%
-Every successful open-source project will eventually spawn a sub-project.
-%
-Duplicate effort in FOSS is inevitable. Live with it.
-%
-The number of items on an open-source project's to-do list always grows or
-remains constant.
-%
-<rindolf> buu: do you have a functional spec? An architecture document? An 
-interface whitepaper? A developer's guide? A user manual? A "The BL-Book" and 
-"BL - The Program"?
-<buu> rindolf: no, no, no no and no
-%
-<mst> I find it's usually safe to assume that whatever shlomif's doing, there
-isn't a good reason for it.
-%
-Become an awesome Perl ninja rockstar vampire zombie pirate.
-%
-<PerlJam> I'm trying to achieve world peace and this regex is the last thing
-standing in my way! ;)
-%
-<rindolf> "be here or be not here - there is no maybe"
-%
-<rindolf>  If you repeat a scene 50k times, then the movie will have less 
-entropy and will compress better. ( irc://irc.freenode.org/#perlcafe )
-%
-Modern Perl - the 3-D Movie. In theatres near you.
-%
-<rindolf> I am not solvable. I am Turing hard.
-%
-<rjbs> sub id { my $self = shift; $json_parser_for{ $self }
-    ->decode($json_for{ $self })->{id} } # Inside-out JSON-notated objects
-%
-I started out as a BASIC programmer. Some people would say that I'm 
-permanently damaged. Some people are undoubtedly right.
-    -- Larry Wall
-%
-bzr is slower than Subversion in combination with Sourceforge.
--- Sjors, http://dazjorz.com/
-%
-There is no IGLU Cabal! Its members can be arranged in N! orders to form N!
-different Cabals. The algorithm to find which order formulates the correct
-IGLU Cabal is NP-Complete.
-%
-There is no IGLU Cabal. The problem of founding an IGLU Cabal has been proven,
-in a surprise move, to be equivalent to the question of existence of God,
-fully-tolerant religions and NP-complete oracles. -- Omer Zak
-%
-There is no IGLU Cabal! Home-made Cabals eventually superceded the power and
-influence of the original IGLU Cabal, which was considered a cutting edge
-development at its time.
-%
-There is an IGLU Cabal, but its only purpose is to deny the existence of an
-IGLU Cabal. -- Martha Greenberg
-%
-There is no IGLU cabal! The former cabalists are trying to prove the
-correctness of a program that proves the correctness of proofs of other
-programs.
-%
-My Commodore 64 is suffering from slowness and insufficiency of memory, and its
-display device is grievously short of pixels.  Can anybody help? -- Omer Zak
-%
-I hope that you agree with me that 99.9218485921% of the users wouldn't bother
-themselves with recompilation (or any other manual step for that matter) to
-make their games run 1.27127529900685765% faster ;-) -- Nadav Har'El
-%
-I also have versions of this code in COBOL.NET, Intercal, PDP-10 Assembly, J,
-APL, Windows NT 4.0 Batch script and Autocad Lisp - I'm sure you can handle
-all of them because none of them is Perl. ;-).
-%
-Dax: yep, space. Nothing but nothing all around.
-    -- Star Trek, "We, the Living Dead" by Shlomi Fish
-%
-Q: I'll be about 6.5 milliard Terran years next September.
-    -- Star Trek, "We, the Living Dead" by Shlomi Fish
-%
-Sisko: Q: would it be OK if my crew brough along their phasers with them?
-
-Q: Of course. They can also bring some photon torpedoes if they wish. None of 
-them will work, but I don't mind them taking them.
-%
-Q2: Busy people are unproductive. We are very productive and so we're never 
-busy.
-    -- Star Trek, "We, the Living Dead" by Shlomi Fish
-%
-Katie: in case you have any interest in me, I should note that I have a policy 
-against getting involved with people who are 4 times my senior or more.
-    -- Star Trek, "We, the Living Dead" by Shlomi Fish
-%
-When Chuck Norris uses git, he takes a coffee break after initiating every git 
-commit. And then he waits for the commit to finish.
-%
-Chuck Norris has actually been using Perl 6 since 1987, and has been waiting
-for Larry to play catch-up. (dukeleto) 
-%
-Chuck Norris does not code; when he sits at a computer, it just does whatever
-he wants. -- Kattana on Freenode's #perl6 .
-%
-Logic sucks. Morality sucks. Reality sucks. Deal with it!
-%
-Chuck Norris can end world hunger, but he thinks that hungry people make
-humanity a more challenging adversary.
-%
-Chuck Norris writes understandable Perl code.
-%
-Chuck Norris can read Perl code that was RSA encrypted.
-%
-If you have the same ideas as everybody else, but have them one week earlier
-than everyone else - then you will be hailed as a visionary. But if you have
-them five years earlier, you will be named a lunatic. ( Barry Jones )
-%
-Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.
-    -- http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Mohandas_Gandhi (Disputed)
-%
-I learned a lot from my teachers, and from my friends more than my teachers,
-and from my pupils the most. -- Rabbi Hanina
-%
-Better be a tail for the lions, than the head of the jackals.
-    -- Pirkei Avot, 4 15
-%
-What is is. Perceive It. Integrate it. Act on it. Idealize it.
-    -- Leonard Peikoff
-%
-And the top story for today: wives live longer than husbands because they are
-not married to women.
-    -- Colin Mochrie in "Who's Line is it, Anyway?"
-%
-I feel much better, now that I've given up hope.
-    -- Ashleigh Brilliant
-%
-The more I think about it, the more I think I should think about it some more.
-    -- "Clarissa Explains it All"
-%
-Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good
-with ketchup.                                       -- Unknown source.
-%
-"I simply hate, detest, loathe, despise, and abhor redundancy."
-    -- http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Redundancy
-%
-In Soviet Russia, every time you kill a kitten, God masturbates.
-    -- http://linux.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=195378&cid=16009070
-%
-Tel Aviv - a functional definition: free parking space-free space.
-    -- Shachar Shemesh ( http://blog.shemesh.biz/?p=435 )
-%
-Sesquipedallianism: making excessive use of long words.
-%
-Learn Perl from "Learning Perl in 24 Minutes Unleashed, in a Nutshell for 
-Dummies."
-    -- based on Shlomi Fish and f00li5h on #perl
-%
-A golfed Java program will be longer than non-golf Perl or Python code.
-%
-"We're not doing it for money… we're doing it for a shitload of money!"
-    -- Spaceballs, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094012/
-%
-Lone Starr: "Just what we need - a Druish princess."
-Barf: "Funny! She doesn't look Druish."
-    -- Spaceballs, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094012/
-%
-The cool thing about Vim is - you find something interesting with every typo.
-    -- Su-Shee on Freenode's #perl .
-%
-Larry Wall *does* know all of Perl. However, he pretends to be wrong
-or misinformed, so people will underestimate him.
-%
-Real programmers use a nice editor and a nice programming language and get it
-done in less than O(N!).
-    -- vanguard on Freenode's ##programming
-%
-Bill Gates, CEO of Microsoft decides to use Richard Stallman's Emacs as the
-basis of his company's state-of-the-art product Microsoft Editing Macros™
-Enterprise Edition XP .NET Professional.
-%
-JATFM == "Just answer the fabulous man"
-%
-The one and only 100% original real actual and unmatched Slimy Fish™!
-%
-Jack: Hi Sophie!
-Sophie: Don't "Hi, Sophie!" me.
-Jack: Don't "Don't 'Hi, Sophie!' me" me!
-%
-Doing linear scans over an associative array is like trying to club someone to
-death with a loaded Uzi.     -- Larry Wall
-%
-And truth be told I miss you.
-And truth be told I'm lying.
-    -- The All American Rejects, "Gives You Hell"
-%
-Yesterday I asked one of my students if she knew what an encyclopedia is, and
-she said: "Is it something like Wikipedia?".
-        -- http://twitter.com/alisonclement/status/8421314259
-%
-<Botje>  Khisanth =~ s/must sleep/must give Botje all my money/ .
-    -- Freenode's #perl
-%
-CPAN thrives *because* of the unfettered uploading of shit, not in spite of it.
-    -- Andy Lester
-%
-Real men don't listen to sentences that start with "Real men don't". 
-    -- http://whatsup.org.il/article/6023
-%
-<ew73>  VB.NET is all of the fun of enforced privacy OO with all of the power
-of BASIC.           -- Freenode's #perl
-%
-I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in
-mind.                  -- Alan Kay (Attributed)
-%
-I'd love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
-    -- Unknown
-%
-He says "One and one and one is three".
-Got to be good-looking 'cause he's so hard to see.
-    -- The Beatles, "Come Together"