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Shlomi Fish  committed b046f1d

Add more links.

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File shlomif-sig-quotes

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 Chuck Norris wrote a complete Perl 6 implementation in a day, but then
 destroyed all evidence with his bare hands, so no‐one will know his secrets.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 Chuck Norris refactors 10 million lines of Perl code before lunch.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 Chuck Norris is his own boss. If you hire him, he’ll tell your boss what to
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
 do.
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 Chuck Norris read the entire English Wikipedia in 24 hours. Twice.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 Chuck Norris does not code; when he sits at a computer, it just does whatever
 he wants. (By: Kattana.)
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 Chuck Norris doesn’t make mistakes. (Su‐Shee) He corrects God. (Shlomi Fish)
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 Chuck Norris is the ghost author of the entire Debian GNU/Linux distribution.
 And he wrote it in 24 hours, while taking snack breaks.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 Chuck Norris doesn’t commit changes, the changes commit for him.
     — Araujo
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 Bugs are too afraid to reproduce on Chuck Norris’ computer. As a result, when
 he uses Microsoft Windows, it behaves just like a Linux system.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 Chuck Norris is a real programmer. He writes programs by implementing the most
 optimised machines for them using real atoms.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 Deletionists delete Wikipedia articles that they consider lame.
 
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 There are no deletionists. Only Wikipedia articles which Chuck Norris allows
 to live. (By: joeyadams)
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 No one knows all of Perl. Not even Larry Wall. Except Chuck Norris, who knows
 all of Perl 5, Perl 6, and can answer questions about the design of Perl 7.
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 Chuck Norris reads all messages posted to LKML (= the Linux Kernel Mailing
 List), understands them all, and he kills all gnomes he sees in sight.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
 %
 When Chuck Norris uses Gentoo, “emerge kde” finishes in under a minute. A
 computer cannot afford to keep Chuck waiting for too long.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 Chuck Norris is the greatest man in history. He killed all the great men who
 could ever pose a competition.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 “My only boss is God. And Chuck Norris who is his boss.”
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 Chuck Norris can make the statement “This statement is false.” a true one.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 XSLT is the worst thing since non‐sliced bread.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/
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 Mothers used to tell their children stories about XSLT to scare them.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/
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 XSLT is the number one cause of programmers’ suicides since Visual Basic 1.0.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/
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 The X in XSLT stands for eXtermination.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/
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 The only things worse than XSLT are Excel and Sugar‐Less Tea (XSLT).
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/
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 XSLT is what Chuck Norris has nightmares of.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/
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 Confucius says: “XSLT made me realise humanity was hopeless.”.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/
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 God considered inflicting XSLT as the tenth plague of Egypt, but then thought
 it would be too evil.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/
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 In Soviet Russia, XSLT codes you. Badly!
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/
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 Satan condemned Hitler for a million years of writing XSLT.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/
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 The KGB used to torture their victims by having them look at scrolling XSLT
 code.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/
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 “My name is Inigo Montoya. You forced my father to write XSLT. Prepare to die!
 And be thankful I don’t force you to write XSLT.”
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/
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 Stray XSLT code causes more deaths than road accidents.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/
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 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evil redirects to XSLT.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/
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 Mastering ‘cat’ is almost as difficult as herding cats.
     — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/Mastering-Cat/
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 When Chuck Norris uses git, he takes a coffee break after initiating every git
 commit. And then he waits for the commit to finish.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
 %
 Chuck Norris has actually been using Perl 6 since 1987, and has been waiting
-for Larry to play catch‐up. (dukeleto)
+for Larry to play catch‐up.
+    — dukeleto ; http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
 %
 Chuck Norris does not code; when he sits at a computer, it just does whatever
 he wants. — Kattana on Freenode’s #perl6 .
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
 %
 Logic sucks. Morality sucks. Reality sucks. Deal with it!
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 Chuck Norris can end world hunger, but he thinks that hungry people make
 humanity a more challenging adversary.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 Chuck Norris writes understandable Perl code.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 Chuck Norris can read Perl code that was RSA encrypted.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 If you have the same ideas as everybody else, but have them one week earlier
 than everyone else — then you will be hailed as a visionary. But if you have
     — http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Peter_Ustinov
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 We have nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear has nothing to fear but XSLT.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/
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 Xena the warrior princess can meet King David for breakfast and Julius Caesar
 for lunch. Without time travel.
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 Staring at XSLT code for one minute has a 67% chance of making one permanently
 blind.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/
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 Larry Wall can make shit up, and the computer will understand what he means.
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 sed and awk make me sad and awkward.
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 Chuck Norris has 0 messages in his E-mail inbox. Including already read ones.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 If a million Shakespeares had to write together, they would write like a monkey.
     — based on Stephen Wright, via Nadav Har’El.
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 Chuck Norris was never a newbie! He will kill anyone who implies otherwise. In
 a very not newbie-like manner.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 Only perl and Chuck Norris can parse Perl.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 All Chuck Norris has to do is *look* at Perl code and it interprets itself
 out of fear and respect. — DrForr
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 Chuck Norris taught God how to create the universe.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 The conversation about how someone shouldn’t do something in an IRC channel is
 always at least twice as long as the text the accused person created in the
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 Chuck Norris is the reason why the Knights who until Recently Said “Ni”,
 are no longer saying “Ni”.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 Chuck Norris is not afraid of superstitions. Superstitions are afraid of Chuck
 Norris. (via Dov Levenglick)
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 In Soviet Russia, superstition believes in you. — Sawyer X
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 a “War” on it? -- Rich Thomson, talk.politics.misc
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 Chuck Norris *does* expect the Spanish Inquisition.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 The Spanish Inquisition does not expect Chuck Norris.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 A wood chuck can’t chuck wood. Chuck Norris can chuck wood chucks.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 Java is a DSL (= Domain Specific Language) to transform big XML documents
 into long exception stack traces. — Scott Bellware
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 The devil created a 10th circle of hell for the inventors of XSLT, because
 the first nine circles were too mild for them.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/
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 I have a brilliant idea: a distributed, NoSQL, Webscale™ /dev/null alternative.
 I’m going to patent it. (inspired by arubin on ##programming).
     — Freenode’s #perl
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 /usr/bin/perl consults Chuck Norris with how to parse Perl.
-    — Nadav Vinik
+    — Nadav Vinik ; http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 Chuck Norris helps the gods that help themselves.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 If the mountain does not come to Muhammad, then Chuck Norris will bring the
 mountain over.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 An apple a day will keep Chuck Norris away. But not for long.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 Reality to be conquered, must be obeyed. You’d better obey Chuck Norris or
 he’ll conquer you.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 Chuck Norris had a problem so he decided to use regular expressions. Now,
 all the World’s problems are solved.
+    — http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/
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 Buffy will always find a wooden stake to slay vampires, even if it means
 she will have travelled 100 years back in time, to plant a tree nearby.