unarmed-blog / essays / stoic-method-to-peace-of-mind / Stoic-road-to-peace-of-mind.xhtml

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
    html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.1//EN"
<html xmlns="" xml:lang="en-US">
<title>The Stoic Road to Peace of Mind</title>
<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8" />
<meta name="author" content="Shlomi Fish" />
<meta name="description" content="Shlomi Fish's Homepage" />
<meta name="keywords" content="" />
<link rel="stylesheet" href="./style.css" type="text/css" media="screen, projection" title="Normal" />
<link rel="stylesheet" href="./print.css" type="text/css" media="print" />
<style type="text/css">
a:hover { background-color: palegreen;}

<h1>The Stoic Road to Peace of Mind</h1>

If you are like most people, you might likely feel angry, frustrated,
or disappointed many times. That’s also has been naturally the case for me,
but I was told a trick that made it much easier for me to handle these
situations some time, and it dates back to antiquity.

<a href="">Stoicism</a> was an ancient 
Greek school of thought (that is still of some influence today), which among
other things advocated self-control and avoiding making your emotions and
irrational desires influence your behaviour for the worst. What they claimed
was that painful feelings were not a direct result of an experience that
induced pain, but rather the human mind's irrational interpretation of it.

If we move from this theory to its implications, then once something
frustrating happens to you, you can say to yourself “I don’t like this.
This situation is not ideal. However, feeling angry and resentful will
not be beneficial, and so I should just accept this as is, try to reasonably
cope with it, and make the best of it. I might even grow to like it.” 

My psychotherapist told me that “Things must always go my way.” has been
identified as an irrational cognitive belief by many people. 
(It is mentioned in 
<a href=";pg=PA39&amp;lpg=PA39&amp;dq=%22things+must+always+go+my+way%22&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=PWZxNEP65c&amp;sig=13za5dB5KXvOKIUTp_iNSPZSksM&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=T_R1T_-4HsSRswbi183EAw&amp;redir_esc=y#v=onepage&amp;q=%22things%20must%20always%20go%20my%20way%22&amp;f=false">this page in the Google Books’ hosted book</a>).
The solution to this is simply to say to myself that “I cannot always get
what I want.” and that “Things might not go exactly like I want them to and
that’s OK because I’ll survive.”.

Back to Stoicism, we can draw inspiration from the Roman Emperor and 
Stoic philosopher
<a href="">Marcus Aurelius</a>’s
quote from his book <i>Meditations</i>:

    Say to yourself in the early morning: I shall meet today ungrateful,
    violent, treacherous, envious, uncharitable men. All of these things have
    come upon them through ignorance of real good and ill… I can neither be
    harmed by any of them, for no man will involve me in wrong, nor can I be
    angry with my kinsman or hate him; for we have come into the world to work

I am not an authority to speak a lot further about Stoicism, because I’ve only
heard about it from hearsay and read the wikipedia entry and some other online
sources, but I think we can all become a little, or even a lot happier, by 
adopting the mindset that the key to peace of mind is accepting sub-optimal
situations, instead of insisting that we will always have our way. 


This work is licensed under the
<a rel="license" href="">Creative
    Commons Attribution 3.0 License (Unported)</a> (CC-by) or at your option
any later version. Copyright © 2011, Shlomi Fish. CC-by is a common,
permissive, free/libre/open licence for cultural works, which allows for
almost unlimited use. See
<a href="">my interpretation and
    expectations</a> from people who wish to build upon it (which I believe
are pretty fair).


I realise I’ve neglected this blog for a long time, and I’ve been meaning
to write and publish this entry for a long time, but didn’t, but I guess
“better late than never”, right? Personally, I’ve been mostly fine recently
having found a part-time job, which involves a short bus ride to the office
in the downtown city, so it’s at a great location for me. I also enjoyed
attending the latest Israeli Perl Workshop for 2012
<a href="">written a report about it</a>.

In the meanwhile,’s handling of this blog’s 
<a href="">DNS</a> 
domains has deteriorated, and now just redirects it to This probably made me even less motivated to post
on this blog, and my reports about it appears to have been marked as 
duplicate without a proper resolution, but I'll try to get it handled and
fixed. If not, I might have to investigate other hosted blog solutions.

There’s a lot more going on with my life, but I’m not sure how much it will
interest other people and how much I should share it, but I’m fine and happy
and have plenty of free time for work and leisure and whatever is in between. 
So good bye until next time.

Tip: Filter by directory path e.g. /media app.js to search for public/media/app.js.
Tip: Use camelCasing e.g. ProjME to search for
Tip: Filter by extension type e.g. /repo .js to search for all .js files in the /repo directory.
Tip: Separate your search with spaces e.g. /ssh pom.xml to search for src/ssh/pom.xml.
Tip: Use ↑ and ↓ arrow keys to navigate and return to view the file.
Tip: You can also navigate files with Ctrl+j (next) and Ctrl+k (previous) and view the file with Ctrl+o.
Tip: You can also navigate files with Alt+j (next) and Alt+k (previous) and view the file with Alt+o.